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Anon wants to die. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 57 KB PNG 05/02/22(Mon)12:45:39 No.68462311 >talk to a woman on the internet for 3 months >she sends her pic >its the darkest looking gorilla black woman I've ever seen >delete account and cut off all contact holy f--- why is god doing this to me. i want to die
Anonymous 57 KB PNG 05/02/22(Mon)12:45:39 No.68462311 >talk to a woman on the internet for 3 months >she sends her pic >its the darkest looking gorilla black woman I've ever seen >delete account and cut off all contact holy f--- why is god doing this to me. i want to die

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Anon slept on his balls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed) 20:16:48 No.66327543 >>66327212 (OP) # >sleep on stomach >try to sleep naked one night >end up with one nut under my leg for half the night It was fine but it still hurt, briefs all the way from now on >>66327560 # : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:18:06 No.66327560 >>66327543 # How droopy are your balls that they can just get lost? >>66327572 # >>66327626 # : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:19:12 No.66327572 >>66327560 # Pretty droopy in the summer >t. lives in the southeast U.S >>66327626 # : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:19:47 No.66327583 : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:20:14 No.66327590 : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed) 20:21:05 No.66327605 : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed) 20:22:33 No.66327626 >>66327560 # >>66327572 # >Ooooh bother, I slept on my left nut again 5 KB JPG 66207650+ 66007744 +
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed) 20:16:48 No.66327543 >>66327212 (OP) # >sleep on stomach >try to sleep naked one night >end up with one nut under my leg for half the night It was fine but it still hurt, briefs all the way from now on >>66327560 # : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:18:06 No.66327560 >>66327543 # How droopy are your balls that they can just get lost? >>66327572 # >>66327626 # : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:19:12 No.66327572 >>66327560 # Pretty droopy in the summer >t. lives in the southeast U.S >>66327626 # : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:19:47 No.66327583 : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:20:14 No.66327590 : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed) 20:21:05 No.66327605 : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed) 20:22:33 No.66327626 >>66327560 # >>66327572 # >Ooooh bother, I slept on my left nut again 5 KB JPG 66207650+ 66007744 +

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Anon is lighter than air | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 148 KB JPG 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.778520043 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing
: Anonymous 148 KB JPG 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.778520043 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing

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Anon does not like J.K Rowling | /r/Greentext

File: j.k.-rowling-at-harry-pot(...).jpg (251 KB, 1200x1800) Po SED AND Anonymous 05/02/22 (Mon)16:59:35 No.20311708 [Reply] ► >>20311873 >>20311908 >>20311916 > Writes a saga that becomes popular just for marketing (literally even generic anime is better) > Hated by based critics and scholars > Only loved by millenial nerds > Failed as an adult writer > Became frustrated > Became irrelevant > Start to say non sense s--- on twitter > Boomer crisis > Becomes one of the most cringe author in existence #1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
File: j.k.-rowling-at-harry-pot(...).jpg (251 KB, 1200x1800) Po SED AND Anonymous 05/02/22 (Mon)16:59:35 No.20311708 [Reply] ► >>20311873 >>20311908 >>20311916 > Writes a saga that becomes popular just for marketing (literally even generic anime is better) > Hated by based critics and scholars > Only loved by millenial nerds > Failed as an adult writer > Became frustrated > Became irrelevant > Start to say non sense s--- on twitter > Boomer crisis > Becomes one of the most cringe author in existence #1 reply omitted. Click here to view.

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Least schizophrenic 4chan user spotted in the wild. | /r/Greentext

File: 1634405914405.png (73 KB, 427x400) CIA Anonymous 11/01/21 (Mon)16:59:30 No.5355696 >>5356713 >>5357245 >Zebras are NOT just painted horses >zookeepers are NOT CIA horse painters >they are REAL and NEAT animals that use their stripes to dazzle predators. >Do NOT go to the zoo and ask to see the horse painting station. You will never get laid if you do this.
File: 1634405914405.png (73 KB, 427x400) CIA Anonymous 11/01/21 (Mon)16:59:30 No.5355696 >>5356713 >>5357245 >Zebras are NOT just painted horses >zookeepers are NOT CIA horse painters >they are REAL and NEAT animals that use their stripes to dazzle predators. >Do NOT go to the zoo and ask to see the horse painting station. You will never get laid if you do this.

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Anon has his doubt about life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 185 KB JPG 05/02/22(Mon)18:47:15 No.877381590 >I c-- inside a p---- >Apparently in my c-- there's little fish like swimming creatures >9 months later a human being emerges People expect me to believe this s---?
: Anonymous 185 KB JPG 05/02/22(Mon)18:47:15 No.877381590 >I c-- inside a p---- >Apparently in my c-- there's little fish like swimming creatures >9 months later a human being emerges People expect me to believe this s---?

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anon chose goblin mode | /r/Greentext

SLEEK'N'TEARS 1f6.jpg 71 KB JPG >wake up but eyes still closed >all black >a text appear >start day as: 1-normal mode 2-goblin mode >f--- it let's go goblin mode this time >regain consciousness after 2 days after hearing " sentenced for life without parole
SLEEK'N'TEARS 1f6.jpg 71 KB JPG >wake up but eyes still closed >all black >a text appear >start day as: 1-normal mode 2-goblin mode >f--- it let's go goblin mode this time >regain consciousness after 2 days after hearing " sentenced for life without parole

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Anon is a honorable business man | /r/Greentext

>be me >be criminal in europe >Break into house >kill father >R--- and kill mother >kill son >R--- and kill daughter >kill family dog >be me >be criminal in USA >Break into house >get shot by father >get shot by mother >get shot by son >get shot by daughter >get shot by family dog >get shot by spider in the corner of the room >neighbor comes over and shoots my dead body >Cops are called they come and shoot my dead body >be me >be criminal in Russia >break into house >get jumped by six gopniks and a bear. >be me >be criminal in Afghanistan >Break into stone shack >die in U.S.A.F airstrike >be me >be criminal in japan >break into a single house >steal s--- and leave >become haunted by spirits of ancestors >end up killing myself for being VARRY DISHONORABRU! >some f----- youtuber in a gay green hat records my body in a forrest. >be me >be criminal in Australia >break into house >home owner throws a boomerang at my gravity belt >it breaks >he laughs as a fall into outer space 9
>be me >be criminal in europe >Break into house >kill father >R--- and kill mother >kill son >R--- and kill daughter >kill family dog >be me >be criminal in USA >Break into house >get shot by father >get shot by mother >get shot by son >get shot by daughter >get shot by family dog >get shot by spider in the corner of the room >neighbor comes over and shoots my dead body >Cops are called they come and shoot my dead body >be me >be criminal in Russia >break into house >get jumped by six gopniks and a bear. >be me >be criminal in Afghanistan >Break into stone shack >die in U.S.A.F airstrike >be me >be criminal in japan >break into a single house >steal s--- and leave >become haunted by spirits of ancestors >end up killing myself for being VARRY DISHONORABRU! >some f----- youtuber in a gay green hat records my body in a forrest. >be me >be criminal in Australia >break into house >home owner throws a boomerang at my gravity belt >it breaks >he laughs as a fall into outer space 9

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Anon nurses a woman back to health | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a condor | /r/Greentext

File: cutiewithtits.jpg (47 KB, 600x800) Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:06 No.629176850 have you guys ever fuckd a gril without a condor? >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:59 No.629176965 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16:18 No.629177001 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16:40 No.629177042 ► >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:17:30 No.629177130 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:17:53 No.629177179 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:18:50 No.629177305 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:18:51 No.629177306 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 19:46 No.629177428 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:31 No.629177751 Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:45 No.629177787 >>629178184 >>629178506 >>629178609 File: 1434306256997.gif (258 KB, 301x301) >making out with slut i brought from a nearby bar >gonna f--- this bitch >look to my condor for approval >he s---- on her bag and pecks her outta the room. >later find out she had harpies from friend thank you condor. dodged a f------ bullet
File: cutiewithtits.jpg (47 KB, 600x800) Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:06 No.629176850 have you guys ever fuckd a gril without a condor? >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:59 No.629176965 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16:18 No.629177001 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16:40 No.629177042 ► >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:17:30 No.629177130 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:17:53 No.629177179 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:18:50 No.629177305 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:18:51 No.629177306 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 19:46 No.629177428 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:31 No.629177751 Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:45 No.629177787 >>629178184 >>629178506 >>629178609 File: 1434306256997.gif (258 KB, 301x301) >making out with slut i brought from a nearby bar >gonna f--- this bitch >look to my condor for approval >he s---- on her bag and pecks her outta the room. >later find out she had harpies from friend thank you condor. dodged a f------ bullet

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Anon works for a bank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >mid 2000s >work at a call center for a major bank chain >have monthly goals of accounts to open and products to sell 71 KB JPG >reasonable goals, doable >someone finds an exploit that let's you get credit for any account somebody made within 90 days, regardless of if you opened it for them or not >even other people in the call center could get duplicate credit for the same accounts using the exploit >our numbers go up, corporate is praising us as master salesman >some of the managers don't know about the exploit but many of them do and don't care, they just like seeing number get big for the shareholders >one lady who works there is blind >really nice lady, born blind, but makes it work and has a setup that allows her to do her job >she doesn't do the exploit, tries to meet the goals legit and honest >everyone else doing the exploit is making our goal numbers get higher, you cannot legitimately do it anymore and meet them >blind lady gets written up a bunch but still tries her best to do it honestly >her husband dies and her mental health takes a toll, has nobody at home now to help her >corporate machine keeps grinding her down even still >I ended up leaving the job but I still think about her from time to time and hope she's okay Just goes to show that no good deed goes unpunished in the wageslaving world. Yeah she should have just done the exploit but it sucks that her being honorable and honest was punished. >>68451555 # >>68453401 # 05/01/22(Sun)22:34:27 No.68451542
: Anonymous >mid 2000s >work at a call center for a major bank chain >have monthly goals of accounts to open and products to sell 71 KB JPG >reasonable goals, doable >someone finds an exploit that let's you get credit for any account somebody made within 90 days, regardless of if you opened it for them or not >even other people in the call center could get duplicate credit for the same accounts using the exploit >our numbers go up, corporate is praising us as master salesman >some of the managers don't know about the exploit but many of them do and don't care, they just like seeing number get big for the shareholders >one lady who works there is blind >really nice lady, born blind, but makes it work and has a setup that allows her to do her job >she doesn't do the exploit, tries to meet the goals legit and honest >everyone else doing the exploit is making our goal numbers get higher, you cannot legitimately do it anymore and meet them >blind lady gets written up a bunch but still tries her best to do it honestly >her husband dies and her mental health takes a toll, has nobody at home now to help her >corporate machine keeps grinding her down even still >I ended up leaving the job but I still think about her from time to time and hope she's okay Just goes to show that no good deed goes unpunished in the wageslaving world. Yeah she should have just done the exploit but it sucks that her being honorable and honest was punished. >>68451555 # >>68453401 # 05/01/22(Sun)22:34:27 No.68451542

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anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Be me >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771
: Anonymous Be me >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771

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anon is hella based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: wzNlb+yG) >doctors say I'm a woman >friends say I'm a woman >family say I'm a woman >society says I'm a woman >boyfriend says I'm a woman >my legal documents say I'm a mommy's Cirl 49 KB JPG woman >some random incel on 4chan says I'll never be a woman Well I guess that settles it 05/01/22(Sun)20:38:32 No.375646453
: Anonymous (ID: wzNlb+yG) >doctors say I'm a woman >friends say I'm a woman >family say I'm a woman >society says I'm a woman >boyfriend says I'm a woman >my legal documents say I'm a mommy's Cirl 49 KB JPG woman >some random incel on 4chan says I'll never be a woman Well I guess that settles it 05/01/22(Sun)20:38:32 No.375646453

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We are all gonna make it | /r/Greentext

>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out 24 KB JPG >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys
>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out 24 KB JPG >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys

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Kid annon hiding from his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)01:38:06 No.784696530 >be dumb kid >sister is chasing me and being annoying >I hide behind bed in my parents room >BIG BLACK F------ DILDO W-- >dumb kid so don't know what it is >just know it's big and heavy and I can hit my sister with it >she comes it room >I jump out from behind bed, holding my newfound weapon with both hands >swing like the force of an angry god >strike sister in face hard with big black balls right in her dumb face >sister runs out crying with bloody nose >tells my mom >mom embarrassed as all hell >dad can not stop laughing >mom only tells me that's not a toy and don't touch it >dad is in f------ tears laughing so hard >don't even get in trouble for clocking my sister in the face >I stand the victor Don't know how I feel about knowing I've touched something my mom had in her vagina. But by that logic, I touch myself all the time, so whatever.
: Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)01:38:06 No.784696530 >be dumb kid >sister is chasing me and being annoying >I hide behind bed in my parents room >BIG BLACK F------ DILDO W-- >dumb kid so don't know what it is >just know it's big and heavy and I can hit my sister with it >she comes it room >I jump out from behind bed, holding my newfound weapon with both hands >swing like the force of an angry god >strike sister in face hard with big black balls right in her dumb face >sister runs out crying with bloody nose >tells my mom >mom embarrassed as all hell >dad can not stop laughing >mom only tells me that's not a toy and don't touch it >dad is in f------ tears laughing so hard >don't even get in trouble for clocking my sister in the face >I stand the victor Don't know how I feel about knowing I've touched something my mom had in her vagina. But by that logic, I touch myself all the time, so whatever.

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Anon gets a cab | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)13:30:42 No.855507130 >on a night out >absolutely twatted >no car >call a cab >cab shows up, Nigerian driver >black as midnight 245 KB JPG >he keeps trying to talk to me >whygod.jpeg >at least his accent is kinda cool >notice he's driving by people waving at the car >"hey bud, shouldn't you pick those people up?" >"oh, them? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are black." what.
Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)13:30:42 No.855507130 >on a night out >absolutely twatted >no car >call a cab >cab shows up, Nigerian driver >black as midnight 245 KB JPG >he keeps trying to talk to me >whygod.jpeg >at least his accent is kinda cool >notice he's driving by people waving at the car >"hey bud, shouldn't you pick those people up?" >"oh, them? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are black." what.

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Anon has a theory | /r/Greentext

File: whatif.jpg (58 KB, 976x850) speed of light Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)18:41:27 No.14445298 >>14445306 >>14445364 >>14445384 i know this sounds extremely retard but let say if im running with a flashlight pointing front wouldnt the speed of the flashlight light be faster than the normal speed of light ? Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)18:43:14 No.14445303 ► >>14445310 >>14445404 We do not have sufficient experimental tools to test this yet. Since speed of light is so extremely fast compared to any other speed on earth, we couldn't possibly detect the difference. Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)18:44:44 No.14445306 >>14445298 (OP) probably not Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)18:44:46 No.14445307 no. Einstein didn't die for you to post retarded questions.
File: whatif.jpg (58 KB, 976x850) speed of light Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)18:41:27 No.14445298 >>14445306 >>14445364 >>14445384 i know this sounds extremely retard but let say if im running with a flashlight pointing front wouldnt the speed of the flashlight light be faster than the normal speed of light ? Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)18:43:14 No.14445303 ► >>14445310 >>14445404 We do not have sufficient experimental tools to test this yet. Since speed of light is so extremely fast compared to any other speed on earth, we couldn't possibly detect the difference. Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)18:44:44 No.14445306 >>14445298 (OP) probably not Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)18:44:46 No.14445307 no. Einstein didn't die for you to post retarded questions.

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anon hates fast food work | /r/Greentext


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Anon is doing a little bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 24 KB PNG 05/02/22(Mon)04:08:39 No.68455587 >post pictures of cis women on trans subreddits >"You look so beautiful!!!" >"Gorgeous, girl!!"
Anonymous 24 KB PNG 05/02/22(Mon)04:08:39 No.68455587 >post pictures of cis women on trans subreddits >"You look so beautiful!!!" >"Gorgeous, girl!!"

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Anon likes chickens. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart 231 KB JPG >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but I'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens 10/26/21(Tue)08:40:35 No.65906654
: Anonymous >neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart 231 KB JPG >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but I'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens 10/26/21(Tue)08:40:35 No.65906654

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