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Anon shares his wisdom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)16:11:06 No.877519166 >be me >middle class life in America >job sucks >politically, it's all s--- >can't afford the latest stuff >lonely...only get 2 matches a month on tinder 24 KB PNG >family is far from perfect >ldea.exe >kms >go before the lord >tells me I can't go to heaven because I kms >go to hell >no memes, mom's homemade pasta, latest football game, fresh air, smell of rain, taste of warm cookie >just constant mental and physical torture >miss being alive in mom's basement >"mr satan sir, can I go back please?" >"no retard, you stay with me" Only get one shot at life /b/ if your life sucks, keep going for the little things. Don't ever kill yourself, satan's too kinky with his tortures, you don't want it. Stay safe and healthy. Spread love and be kind to others and yourself. I love you.
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)16:11:06 No.877519166 >be me >middle class life in America >job sucks >politically, it's all s--- >can't afford the latest stuff >lonely...only get 2 matches a month on tinder 24 KB PNG >family is far from perfect >ldea.exe >kms >go before the lord >tells me I can't go to heaven because I kms >go to hell >no memes, mom's homemade pasta, latest football game, fresh air, smell of rain, taste of warm cookie >just constant mental and physical torture >miss being alive in mom's basement >"mr satan sir, can I go back please?" >"no retard, you stay with me" Only get one shot at life /b/ if your life sucks, keep going for the little things. Don't ever kill yourself, satan's too kinky with his tortures, you don't want it. Stay safe and healthy. Spread love and be kind to others and yourself. I love you.

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Anon becomes a normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)08:46:04 No.877550829 >4channer >learn all about normies and chads and whatnot >start LARPing as a good person irl >help others with no incentive, altruism, smile and socialise etc. >find it fun to trick everyone into thinking 85 KB PNG you are kind >start LARPing it 24/7, even in games >eventually stop thinking of it as a LARP/trick >actually a decent person now >"pretending" to be good 24/7 made me a good normie >develop good habits I amaze myself with how I am able to successfully live in the most retarded way possible
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)08:46:04 No.877550829 >4channer >learn all about normies and chads and whatnot >start LARPing as a good person irl >help others with no incentive, altruism, smile and socialise etc. >find it fun to trick everyone into thinking 85 KB PNG you are kind >start LARPing it 24/7, even in games >eventually stop thinking of it as a LARP/trick >actually a decent person now >"pretending" to be good 24/7 made me a good normie >develop good habits I amaze myself with how I am able to successfully live in the most retarded way possible

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Anon's dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 s.jpg 60 KB JPG >"You'll find someone, there's plenty of fish in the sea." >Yeah but I don't know how to fish
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 s.jpg 60 KB JPG >"You'll find someone, there's plenty of fish in the sea." >Yeah but I don't know how to fish

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Anon finds a cool symbol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/05/19(Thu)18:29:09 No.8109839 >be me 6 >looking trough my dads history books 4CHAN, LBLSOLIR THE AUTISM PAIN TACTICAL /B/TARD ACTION >finding a sick af symbol >damnthatlooksgood.wav >going to school the next day >teacher tells us to draw on the whiteboard 134 KB JPG >going up there proudly to show off my new epic symbol >mfw the teacher calls my parents >mfw ive been drawing swastikas
: Anonymous 09/05/19(Thu)18:29:09 No.8109839 >be me 6 >looking trough my dads history books 4CHAN, LBLSOLIR THE AUTISM PAIN TACTICAL /B/TARD ACTION >finding a sick af symbol >damnthatlooksgood.wav >going to school the next day >teacher tells us to draw on the whiteboard 134 KB JPG >going up there proudly to show off my new epic symbol >mfw the teacher calls my parents >mfw ive been drawing swastikas

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Anons genealogy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:55:46 No.877546151 >be me >try out one of those ancestry family tree sites >put in some info, see link to grandparents >find out 6th cousin once 55 KB JPG removed uploaded s--- load of ancestors before them >follow patriarchal line >family apparently immigrated over from Ukraine in 1899 >neat! >earliest recorded ancestor was born in 1691 >cool >his first name is f------ Semen >mfw
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:55:46 No.877546151 >be me >try out one of those ancestry family tree sites >put in some info, see link to grandparents >find out 6th cousin once 55 KB JPG removed uploaded s--- load of ancestors before them >follow patriarchal line >family apparently immigrated over from Ukraine in 1899 >neat! >earliest recorded ancestor was born in 1691 >cool >his first name is f------ Semen >mfw

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Anon talks about history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner 382 KB JPG Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16
: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner 382 KB JPG Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16

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annon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on 19 KB JPG carpet and bed >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on 19 KB JPG carpet and bed >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me

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Anon has priorities | /r/Greentext

Would you date this girl if she was real and confessed her feelings to you? BigglecoC 892 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:57:23 No.64832301 >>64832175 (OP) # Does she know how to make a grilled cheese
Would you date this girl if she was real and confessed her feelings to you? BigglecoC 892 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:57:23 No.64832301 >>64832175 (OP) # Does she know how to make a grilled cheese

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Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)14:16:16 No.877513255 >go to doctor abroad dboot >takes vitals >6'2 >feelgoodman.jpg >go to doctors in home country 85 KB JPG >5'10 >mfw >go to wrestling tournament >height 6'0 WHICH ONE IS IT THEN
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)14:16:16 No.877513255 >go to doctor abroad dboot >takes vitals >6'2 >feelgoodman.jpg >go to doctors in home country 85 KB JPG >5'10 >mfw >go to wrestling tournament >height 6'0 WHICH ONE IS IT THEN

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Anon have issues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile I start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES
Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile I start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES

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Anon has a sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)11:21:38 No.68490031 >be me >grew up poor >move to new house every other year >get to high school >parents finally get a permanent house >two bedrooms 86 KB JPG >one for my parents, one for my sister and me >sister and me sleep with eachother constantly >every night she gets on top and l'm on bottom >l'm referencing bunk beds If you started getting hard then you're despicable
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)11:21:38 No.68490031 >be me >grew up poor >move to new house every other year >get to high school >parents finally get a permanent house >two bedrooms 86 KB JPG >one for my parents, one for my sister and me >sister and me sleep with eachother constantly >every night she gets on top and l'm on bottom >l'm referencing bunk beds If you started getting hard then you're despicable

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Anon learns how to cook | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:03:17 No.68493582 Why don't you learn to cook anon? >really fun >make delicious meals >girls love it and find it hot >literally beating a difficult dark souls boss-tier satisfaction after 242 KB GIF learning a new recipe and successfully cooking the food >nothing comfier than drinking a glass of red wine and listening to music while cooking, i like to listen to jazz >great date idea, invite a girl over to eat and get her drunk on wine, high probability of getting your d--- wet I used to eat like a peasant until 4 months ago when I decided to make it my weekly goal to learn one new recipe every week and actually cook it on the weekend. Now it has become a hobby for me and I will never stop making delicious meals. I love cooking Spanish and Italian meals. 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:03:17 No.68493582 Why don't you learn to cook anon? >really fun >make delicious meals >girls love it and find it hot >literally beating a difficult dark souls boss-tier satisfaction after 242 KB GIF learning a new recipe and successfully cooking the food >nothing comfier than drinking a glass of red wine and listening to music while cooking, i like to listen to jazz >great date idea, invite a girl over to eat and get her drunk on wine, high probability of getting your d--- wet I used to eat like a peasant until 4 months ago when I decided to make it my weekly goal to learn one new recipe every week and actually cook it on the weekend. Now it has become a hobby for me and I will never stop making delicious meals. I love cooking Spanish and Italian meals. 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon plays mafia 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)12:09:14 No.63110295 >Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro 93 KB JPG >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)12:09:14 No.63110295 >Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro 93 KB JPG >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid

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anon is technically asian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:08:35 No.68490197 >be me >indian >guaranteed sex from arrange marriage Later virgins 24 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:08:35 No.68490197 >be me >indian >guaranteed sex from arrange marriage Later virgins 24 KB JPG

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Anon predicts Apocalypse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8Za+Kdqb 09 May 2022 End of World 05/04/22(Wed)18:32:55 No.15122801 • 3 countries (Russia, China, North Korea) have 3 similar goals (establish economic power, show military force, and take back historical land) • The number 3 is used by paranormal entities to mock the holy trinity • All 3 leaders have rejected the holy 603 KB JPG teachings 3 goals+3 objectives+3 visions= 9 • 09May1945- Nazis surrendered to the Soviet Union • 09May2022- Putin plans to officially declare war against Ukraine The 3 countries have large nuclear arsenal, and Putin has threatened nuclear warfare in Ukraine Nuclear warfare will be the end of the world on 09May2022
: Anonymous (ID: 8Za+Kdqb 09 May 2022 End of World 05/04/22(Wed)18:32:55 No.15122801 • 3 countries (Russia, China, North Korea) have 3 similar goals (establish economic power, show military force, and take back historical land) • The number 3 is used by paranormal entities to mock the holy trinity • All 3 leaders have rejected the holy 603 KB JPG teachings 3 goals+3 objectives+3 visions= 9 • 09May1945- Nazis surrendered to the Soviet Union • 09May2022- Putin plans to officially declare war against Ukraine The 3 countries have large nuclear arsenal, and Putin has threatened nuclear warfare in Ukraine Nuclear warfare will be the end of the world on 09May2022

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Anon snich | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 12OHXFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Re > Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun > Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile > Eventually parents move him to hospital >He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile >He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >I go to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me "It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun > Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago.
Anonymous (ID: 12OHXFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Re > Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun > Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile > Eventually parents move him to hospital >He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile >He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >I go to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me "It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun > Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago.

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Anon needs fitness plans!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt >>737630720 #
: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt >>737630720 #

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Anon lives in a dystopia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)15:37:16 No.877517330 >7 years old daughter >watching random kids youtube channel >"dad what do you think he'll be when he grows up?" >maybe a fireman? >"no like a boy or a girl?" >what do you mean? He's a boy so he's going to be a 36 KB JPG boy right? >"nooo you can become anything when you grow up" 95 >???????? >what do you mean? Who told you that? >"my teacher told me" /b/ I'm in a rage. The alphabet soup is after my very own child. I can write a book about how I'm feeling right now.
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)15:37:16 No.877517330 >7 years old daughter >watching random kids youtube channel >"dad what do you think he'll be when he grows up?" >maybe a fireman? >"no like a boy or a girl?" >what do you mean? He's a boy so he's going to be a 36 KB JPG boy right? >"nooo you can become anything when you grow up" 95 >???????? >what do you mean? Who told you that? >"my teacher told me" /b/ I'm in a rage. The alphabet soup is after my very own child. I can write a book about how I'm feeling right now.

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Anon discovers modern schooling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/22(Sat)02:32:40 No.66894250 >babysitting nephew >11 years old >he's doing remote school >watch in for a bit >teacher is like 15 minutes late >she's obviously high or hungover, is barely able to slur words that were 35 KB JPG written before, looks like she just woke up and is still in a t-shirt and sweatpants. >after a few minutes of listening nephew just puts on his headphones and starts playing minecraft I'm 28, no kids, so I had no idea this was happening but have kids just been not going to school for the past 2 years
: Anonymous 01/08/22(Sat)02:32:40 No.66894250 >babysitting nephew >11 years old >he's doing remote school >watch in for a bit >teacher is like 15 minutes late >she's obviously high or hungover, is barely able to slur words that were 35 KB JPG written before, looks like she just woke up and is still in a t-shirt and sweatpants. >after a few minutes of listening nephew just puts on his headphones and starts playing minecraft I'm 28, no kids, so I had no idea this was happening but have kids just been not going to school for the past 2 years

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Anon has a theory on women. | /r/Greentext

05/04/22(Wed)11:01:53 No.68489800 Anonymous Is it over? >get blue collar career >100% male workplace >100% male hobbies >90% male nightclubs and bars >zero women under 30 every time I go outside I am sure women just disappear the moment they leave school and respawn 76 KB JPG with a child 10 years later.
05/04/22(Wed)11:01:53 No.68489800 Anonymous Is it over? >get blue collar career >100% male workplace >100% male hobbies >90% male nightclubs and bars >zero women under 30 every time I go outside I am sure women just disappear the moment they leave school and respawn 76 KB JPG with a child 10 years later.

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