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Anon has priorities | /r/Greentext

Would you date this girl if she was real and confessed her feelings to you? BigglecoC 892 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:57:23 No.64832301 >>64832175 (OP) # Does she know how to make a grilled cheese
Would you date this girl if she was real and confessed her feelings to you? BigglecoC 892 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:57:23 No.64832301 >>64832175 (OP) # Does she know how to make a grilled cheese

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Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)14:16:16 No.877513255 >go to doctor abroad dboot >takes vitals >6'2 >feelgoodman.jpg >go to doctors in home country 85 KB JPG >5'10 >mfw >go to wrestling tournament >height 6'0 WHICH ONE IS IT THEN
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)14:16:16 No.877513255 >go to doctor abroad dboot >takes vitals >6'2 >feelgoodman.jpg >go to doctors in home country 85 KB JPG >5'10 >mfw >go to wrestling tournament >height 6'0 WHICH ONE IS IT THEN

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Anon have issues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile I start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES
Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile I start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES

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Anon has a sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)11:21:38 No.68490031 >be me >grew up poor >move to new house every other year >get to high school >parents finally get a permanent house >two bedrooms 86 KB JPG >one for my parents, one for my sister and me >sister and me sleep with eachother constantly >every night she gets on top and l'm on bottom >l'm referencing bunk beds If you started getting hard then you're despicable
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)11:21:38 No.68490031 >be me >grew up poor >move to new house every other year >get to high school >parents finally get a permanent house >two bedrooms 86 KB JPG >one for my parents, one for my sister and me >sister and me sleep with eachother constantly >every night she gets on top and l'm on bottom >l'm referencing bunk beds If you started getting hard then you're despicable

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Anon learns how to cook | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:03:17 No.68493582 Why don't you learn to cook anon? >really fun >make delicious meals >girls love it and find it hot >literally beating a difficult dark souls boss-tier satisfaction after 242 KB GIF learning a new recipe and successfully cooking the food >nothing comfier than drinking a glass of red wine and listening to music while cooking, i like to listen to jazz >great date idea, invite a girl over to eat and get her drunk on wine, high probability of getting your d--- wet I used to eat like a peasant until 4 months ago when I decided to make it my weekly goal to learn one new recipe every week and actually cook it on the weekend. Now it has become a hobby for me and I will never stop making delicious meals. I love cooking Spanish and Italian meals. 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:03:17 No.68493582 Why don't you learn to cook anon? >really fun >make delicious meals >girls love it and find it hot >literally beating a difficult dark souls boss-tier satisfaction after 242 KB GIF learning a new recipe and successfully cooking the food >nothing comfier than drinking a glass of red wine and listening to music while cooking, i like to listen to jazz >great date idea, invite a girl over to eat and get her drunk on wine, high probability of getting your d--- wet I used to eat like a peasant until 4 months ago when I decided to make it my weekly goal to learn one new recipe every week and actually cook it on the weekend. Now it has become a hobby for me and I will never stop making delicious meals. I love cooking Spanish and Italian meals. 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon plays mafia 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)12:09:14 No.63110295 >Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro 93 KB JPG >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)12:09:14 No.63110295 >Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro 93 KB JPG >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid

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anon is technically asian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:08:35 No.68490197 >be me >indian >guaranteed sex from arrange marriage Later virgins 24 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:08:35 No.68490197 >be me >indian >guaranteed sex from arrange marriage Later virgins 24 KB JPG

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Anon predicts Apocalypse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8Za+Kdqb 09 May 2022 End of World 05/04/22(Wed)18:32:55 No.15122801 • 3 countries (Russia, China, North Korea) have 3 similar goals (establish economic power, show military force, and take back historical land) • The number 3 is used by paranormal entities to mock the holy trinity • All 3 leaders have rejected the holy 603 KB JPG teachings 3 goals+3 objectives+3 visions= 9 • 09May1945- Nazis surrendered to the Soviet Union • 09May2022- Putin plans to officially declare war against Ukraine The 3 countries have large nuclear arsenal, and Putin has threatened nuclear warfare in Ukraine Nuclear warfare will be the end of the world on 09May2022
: Anonymous (ID: 8Za+Kdqb 09 May 2022 End of World 05/04/22(Wed)18:32:55 No.15122801 • 3 countries (Russia, China, North Korea) have 3 similar goals (establish economic power, show military force, and take back historical land) • The number 3 is used by paranormal entities to mock the holy trinity • All 3 leaders have rejected the holy 603 KB JPG teachings 3 goals+3 objectives+3 visions= 9 • 09May1945- Nazis surrendered to the Soviet Union • 09May2022- Putin plans to officially declare war against Ukraine The 3 countries have large nuclear arsenal, and Putin has threatened nuclear warfare in Ukraine Nuclear warfare will be the end of the world on 09May2022

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Anon snich | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 12OHXFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Re > Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun > Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile > Eventually parents move him to hospital >He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile >He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >I go to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me "It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun > Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago.
Anonymous (ID: 12OHXFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Re > Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun > Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile > Eventually parents move him to hospital >He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile >He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >I go to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me "It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun > Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago.

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Anon needs fitness plans!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt >>737630720 #
: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt >>737630720 #

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Anon lives in a dystopia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)15:37:16 No.877517330 >7 years old daughter >watching random kids youtube channel >"dad what do you think he'll be when he grows up?" >maybe a fireman? >"no like a boy or a girl?" >what do you mean? He's a boy so he's going to be a 36 KB JPG boy right? >"nooo you can become anything when you grow up" 95 >???????? >what do you mean? Who told you that? >"my teacher told me" /b/ I'm in a rage. The alphabet soup is after my very own child. I can write a book about how I'm feeling right now.
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)15:37:16 No.877517330 >7 years old daughter >watching random kids youtube channel >"dad what do you think he'll be when he grows up?" >maybe a fireman? >"no like a boy or a girl?" >what do you mean? He's a boy so he's going to be a 36 KB JPG boy right? >"nooo you can become anything when you grow up" 95 >???????? >what do you mean? Who told you that? >"my teacher told me" /b/ I'm in a rage. The alphabet soup is after my very own child. I can write a book about how I'm feeling right now.

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Anon discovers modern schooling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/22(Sat)02:32:40 No.66894250 >babysitting nephew >11 years old >he's doing remote school >watch in for a bit >teacher is like 15 minutes late >she's obviously high or hungover, is barely able to slur words that were 35 KB JPG written before, looks like she just woke up and is still in a t-shirt and sweatpants. >after a few minutes of listening nephew just puts on his headphones and starts playing minecraft I'm 28, no kids, so I had no idea this was happening but have kids just been not going to school for the past 2 years
: Anonymous 01/08/22(Sat)02:32:40 No.66894250 >babysitting nephew >11 years old >he's doing remote school >watch in for a bit >teacher is like 15 minutes late >she's obviously high or hungover, is barely able to slur words that were 35 KB JPG written before, looks like she just woke up and is still in a t-shirt and sweatpants. >after a few minutes of listening nephew just puts on his headphones and starts playing minecraft I'm 28, no kids, so I had no idea this was happening but have kids just been not going to school for the past 2 years

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Anon has a theory on women. | /r/Greentext

05/04/22(Wed)11:01:53 No.68489800 Anonymous Is it over? >get blue collar career >100% male workplace >100% male hobbies >90% male nightclubs and bars >zero women under 30 every time I go outside I am sure women just disappear the moment they leave school and respawn 76 KB JPG with a child 10 years later.
05/04/22(Wed)11:01:53 No.68489800 Anonymous Is it over? >get blue collar career >100% male workplace >100% male hobbies >90% male nightclubs and bars >zero women under 30 every time I go outside I am sure women just disappear the moment they leave school and respawn 76 KB JPG with a child 10 years later.

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Anon can't pull back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:27:25 No.68487232 >have phimosis >never bother doing anything about it because i think i'm doomed to be a virgin forever >get gf and start having sex >she gets on birth control and now wants unprotected 136 KB JPG what do? : Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:28:19 No.68487238 >>68487232 (OP) # Seek treatment or get it cut. 118 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:27:25 No.68487232 >have phimosis >never bother doing anything about it because i think i'm doomed to be a virgin forever >get gf and start having sex >she gets on birth control and now wants unprotected 136 KB JPG what do? : Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:28:19 No.68487238 >>68487232 (OP) # Seek treatment or get it cut. 118 KB PNG

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Anon averts a crisis | /r/Greentext

>17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me 575 KB JPG >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity
>17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me 575 KB JPG >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

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Anon calls the bank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WWMRWOHB 05/04/22(Wed)10:33:38 No.15121078 >call bank to change phone number >20min hold >they need my old phone number >dont have it on me so go ask mum >"no sir we need it from you, please call again once you have it" >currently on hold again >phone plan costs $0.12/min for calls 50 KB JPG calls >they have cost me ~$5
: Anonymous (ID: WWMRWOHB 05/04/22(Wed)10:33:38 No.15121078 >call bank to change phone number >20min hold >they need my old phone number >dont have it on me so go ask mum >"no sir we need it from you, please call again once you have it" >currently on hold again >phone plan costs $0.12/min for calls 50 KB JPG calls >they have cost me ~$5

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Anon hates Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:24:41 No.159020639 >no personality >no charisma >no good looks >no skills >doesn't improve >doesn't grow as a person >revolves around being the "chosen one" 250 KB JPG II >is constatly jobbed and bossed around and he happily obliges harry is the lamest protag ever conceived : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:26:32 No.159020681 >becomes a cop Sounds about right
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:24:41 No.159020639 >no personality >no charisma >no good looks >no skills >doesn't improve >doesn't grow as a person >revolves around being the "chosen one" 250 KB JPG II >is constatly jobbed and bossed around and he happily obliges harry is the lamest protag ever conceived : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:26:32 No.159020681 >becomes a cop Sounds about right

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Anon had a dream | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:01:45 No.82162035 I had a dream where I straight up pushed a guy off the roof of a building on impulse and then quickly ran inside. It took a couple seconds of autopiloting before I realized that I just murdered someone and then started freaking out. I joined the crowd of people at the base of the building and they were all crying because they "had no idea he was suicidal", and my heart just kept thumping out of my chest. It 133 KB JPG felt so f------ real, what does it mean? : Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:06:04 No.82162059 moe 19 KB JPG 2>821620909 : Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:11:55 No.82162090 >>821620598 # Moe what? That was basically it, I woke up not too long after >>821621066 # : Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:15:22 No.82162106 >>821620909 # moe 19 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:20:25 No.821621309 Please guys I am just looking for your opinions, not moe
| Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:01:45 No.82162035 I had a dream where I straight up pushed a guy off the roof of a building on impulse and then quickly ran inside. It took a couple seconds of autopiloting before I realized that I just murdered someone and then started freaking out. I joined the crowd of people at the base of the building and they were all crying because they "had no idea he was suicidal", and my heart just kept thumping out of my chest. It 133 KB JPG felt so f------ real, what does it mean? : Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:06:04 No.82162059 moe 19 KB JPG 2>821620909 : Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:11:55 No.82162090 >>821620598 # Moe what? That was basically it, I woke up not too long after >>821621066 # : Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:15:22 No.82162106 >>821620909 # moe 19 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:20:25 No.821621309 Please guys I am just looking for your opinions, not moe

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Anon isn't lying and needs help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)14:18:55 No.877491888 Ok I actually need your help anons. > be me > 19, virgin > working hard, college >I dont want relationship > in club > random girl started throwing herself 8 KB PNG at me > we kissed > I wrote her day later > she is f------ obsessed with me > she literally told me "I would give you my life" and "I knew on the first sight that you are the One" > l invited her to come over at friday > mfw I just want to f--- her > mfw I am really nervous that she gonna kill me she is f------ doomer girl or something like that Help me anons, what should I do? Its not larping or fake I actually need your help for this time
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)14:18:55 No.877491888 Ok I actually need your help anons. > be me > 19, virgin > working hard, college >I dont want relationship > in club > random girl started throwing herself 8 KB PNG at me > we kissed > I wrote her day later > she is f------ obsessed with me > she literally told me "I would give you my life" and "I knew on the first sight that you are the One" > l invited her to come over at friday > mfw I just want to f--- her > mfw I am really nervous that she gonna kill me she is f------ doomer girl or something like that Help me anons, what should I do? Its not larping or fake I actually need your help for this time

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Anon is addicted to Tinder | /r/Greentext

not sure if fph related but here we go >tinder addict >only get dates from this god forsaken app >have this routine where I always set up the date at the same 82 KB JPG location >a giant park in the middle of the city >allows me to scope out the area before actually meeting the girl >there's a caffee overlooking the park with a balcony >always sit up there to check out the girl before meeting her >when I match with fatties I do the same thing >but I dont actually leave the caffee just watch them >"im here, where are you" >give vague descriptions like "oh im at the tree" >this park is filled with them btw >watch them waddle about from the balcony >im a regular here so the waitress knows my shtick >often asks if im "walking the girls again?" >chuckle as i see their pride from getting a date with a somewhat fit guy turn to panic, shame and eventually anger >joke around with the waitress as she tries to figure out which girl im walking around this time not sure if im an a------ for finding enjoyment in doing this, but f--- is it fun
not sure if fph related but here we go >tinder addict >only get dates from this god forsaken app >have this routine where I always set up the date at the same 82 KB JPG location >a giant park in the middle of the city >allows me to scope out the area before actually meeting the girl >there's a caffee overlooking the park with a balcony >always sit up there to check out the girl before meeting her >when I match with fatties I do the same thing >but I dont actually leave the caffee just watch them >"im here, where are you" >give vague descriptions like "oh im at the tree" >this park is filled with them btw >watch them waddle about from the balcony >im a regular here so the waitress knows my shtick >often asks if im "walking the girls again?" >chuckle as i see their pride from getting a date with a somewhat fit guy turn to panic, shame and eventually anger >joke around with the waitress as she tries to figure out which girl im walking around this time not sure if im an a------ for finding enjoyment in doing this, but f--- is it fun

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