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Anon lives in the big apple | /r/Greentext


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Anon discovered kebab | /r/Greentext


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anon is chinese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)22:48:50 No.875167980 >live in China >try to prepare breakfast but one of my 7 concubines drank the last of the leaded milk >get in car >car won't start because intake is clogged with a toddler's torso >oh yeah, forgot about that >pluck it out 30 KB JPG >car is still immobilized due to several human heads jamming up the wheel as well >no time to fix it, I'm late for work >use concubine #3's bicycle >bike is broken because it's chinese just like you >f@#*! >have to walk, I guess >put on standard outdoor chinese facemask >visibility is 20 feet due to smog >best it's been all year, what a beautiful day >see neighbor lady sweeping her dead child into trash bin >again?! >she shrugs and says "china will grow larger" and goes back into house >a sewer explodes, I narrowly dodge a flying manhole cover >get to train station >doors open, suffocated and smothered dead bodies pour out >oh this is the dead body train, I'll take the next one >living people train arrives >doors open, suffocated and smothered dead bodies pour out >trample over them because I'm late, dammit >driver announces "scheduled derailment in 10 seconds, please hold on" >train derails, me and some other guy in the back row survive >he waves to me with the one arm he has left and smiles >says "We will live in prosperity!" >finally get to the wilderness park where I work >take escalator up to office to clock in >plate at the top of escalator gives way, gears and torque would've eaten my left leg if I still had one >feed it my left hand instead as an offering >for China >get in car to drive a visitor and her family around tiger enclosure >remind them that one of them has to die here as per the rules of the park >daughter says it's her turn and jumps out, mom says "bull (bleep)" and jumps out after her >Tiger kills the mother but breaks its leg while trying to kill daughter due to calcium deficiency >l have to apologize to the daughter: "sorry, Tiger is broken today, come back tomorrow" >China will grow larger View Thread
: Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat)22:48:50 No.875167980 >live in China >try to prepare breakfast but one of my 7 concubines drank the last of the leaded milk >get in car >car won't start because intake is clogged with a toddler's torso >oh yeah, forgot about that >pluck it out 30 KB JPG >car is still immobilized due to several human heads jamming up the wheel as well >no time to fix it, I'm late for work >use concubine #3's bicycle >bike is broken because it's chinese just like you >f@#*! >have to walk, I guess >put on standard outdoor chinese facemask >visibility is 20 feet due to smog >best it's been all year, what a beautiful day >see neighbor lady sweeping her dead child into trash bin >again?! >she shrugs and says "china will grow larger" and goes back into house >a sewer explodes, I narrowly dodge a flying manhole cover >get to train station >doors open, suffocated and smothered dead bodies pour out >oh this is the dead body train, I'll take the next one >living people train arrives >doors open, suffocated and smothered dead bodies pour out >trample over them because I'm late, dammit >driver announces "scheduled derailment in 10 seconds, please hold on" >train derails, me and some other guy in the back row survive >he waves to me with the one arm he has left and smiles >says "We will live in prosperity!" >finally get to the wilderness park where I work >take escalator up to office to clock in >plate at the top of escalator gives way, gears and torque would've eaten my left leg if I still had one >feed it my left hand instead as an offering >for China >get in car to drive a visitor and her family around tiger enclosure >remind them that one of them has to die here as per the rules of the park >daughter says it's her turn and jumps out, mom says "bull (bleep)" and jumps out after her >Tiger kills the mother but breaks its leg while trying to kill daughter due to calcium deficiency >l have to apologize to the daughter: "sorry, Tiger is broken today, come back tomorrow" >China will grow larger View Thread

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Never tell me the odds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1/100000 chance? 05/05/22(Thu)14:43:51 No.68506846 >be me >5'9 5/10 face but lift >ask polish girl from work out >she says no >realize you need to have chad eyes and be 6'2 minimum >fast forward 3 months 598 KB PNG >new 8/10 asian girl starts flirting with me >get her number >i drive her home the next night while parents are out camping >play together in the shower >use mom's vibrator on her >end up sleeping in their bed too >have car sex 2-3 times a week now I don't get it. She was only an inch or two shorter than me.
: Anonymous 1/100000 chance? 05/05/22(Thu)14:43:51 No.68506846 >be me >5'9 5/10 face but lift >ask polish girl from work out >she says no >realize you need to have chad eyes and be 6'2 minimum >fast forward 3 months 598 KB PNG >new 8/10 asian girl starts flirting with me >get her number >i drive her home the next night while parents are out camping >play together in the shower >use mom's vibrator on her >end up sleeping in their bed too >have car sex 2-3 times a week now I don't get it. She was only an inch or two shorter than me.

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Anon found a Youtube channel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 157 KB PNG minutes long, and all equally hilarious >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty
: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 157 KB PNG minutes long, and all equally hilarious >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty

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Anon goes to the store | /r/Greentext


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on the benefits of global warming | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)03:38:07 No.14456762 ► >>14456763 >>14456767 File: boomerjak.png (214 KB, 521x767) >>14456413 (OP) before >had to go all the way across the country to visit the beach >expensive as s--- now >beach right in my backyard >drive thirty minutes and im there >beach only gets closer and closer to my house
Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)03:38:07 No.14456762 ► >>14456763 >>14456767 File: boomerjak.png (214 KB, 521x767) >>14456413 (OP) before >had to go all the way across the country to visit the beach >expensive as s--- now >beach right in my backyard >drive thirty minutes and im there >beach only gets closer and closer to my house

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Anon is a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/20(Thu)21:46:35 No.842567137 >be me, fish wHY? >live in science class fish tank >just swimming around randomly one day >"boy I sure love my life in this nice water" 26 KB PNG >a special needs kid proceeds to pour fabric softener in the tank >mfw
: Anonymous 12/17/20(Thu)21:46:35 No.842567137 >be me, fish wHY? >live in science class fish tank >just swimming around randomly one day >"boy I sure love my life in this nice water" 26 KB PNG >a special needs kid proceeds to pour fabric softener in the tank >mfw

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The second reply reminds me of this sub | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775957357 25 min. ago >be at work >found ball >ball is bouncy >have fun with ball Life is good 1.4 MB JPG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 1 775958078 12 min. ago .. >>775957357 (OP) good for you anon :) Anonymous | 775958269 9 min. ago 00. >>775957357 (OP) F--- you and your light-hearted joy.
Anonymous | 775957357 25 min. ago >be at work >found ball >ball is bouncy >have fun with ball Life is good 1.4 MB JPG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 1 775958078 12 min. ago .. >>775957357 (OP) good for you anon :) Anonymous | 775958269 9 min. ago 00. >>775957357 (OP) F--- you and your light-hearted joy.

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

File: 3bgg5hl4bqf81.png (217 KB, 509x862) O Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)17:35:36 No.877568055 [Reply] >going through tour in neighbours house >see pic related qt girl peeking out of doorway >get a quick glance at her room >filled to the brim with a s--- ton of plushies/collectibles/toys >emanating a potent and oppressive Autism aura from within H--------, they exist /b/ros, I thought it was just a meme... >> Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)17:37:18 No.877568131 You better not f--- this up anon
File: 3bgg5hl4bqf81.png (217 KB, 509x862) O Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)17:35:36 No.877568055 [Reply] >going through tour in neighbours house >see pic related qt girl peeking out of doorway >get a quick glance at her room >filled to the brim with a s--- ton of plushies/collectibles/toys >emanating a potent and oppressive Autism aura from within H--------, they exist /b/ros, I thought it was just a meme... >> Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)17:37:18 No.877568131 You better not f--- this up anon

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Anon might watch a bit too much porn | /r/Greentext

>there is an infinite number of timelines >there is a timeline where you can plant a step-sis tree >every morning you go to your step-sis tree >pick a fresh step-sis for the day >she does typical step-sis s--- like compalining, nagging you, getting horny, riding you, making you c-- >you can pick a different step-sis each day >tiny azn step-sis >busty step-sis >black step-sis >Riley Mason step-sis Now that would be hella cool, don't you think? Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)18:42:24 No.21210374 wat?
>there is an infinite number of timelines >there is a timeline where you can plant a step-sis tree >every morning you go to your step-sis tree >pick a fresh step-sis for the day >she does typical step-sis s--- like compalining, nagging you, getting horny, riding you, making you c-- >you can pick a different step-sis each day >tiny azn step-sis >busty step-sis >black step-sis >Riley Mason step-sis Now that would be hella cool, don't you think? Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)18:42:24 No.21210374 wat?

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Anon runs to forget about his problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)04:41:53 No.877556640 >Be me >Born in the wrong body >Know you guys will make fun of me but I don't care, this body isn't where I'm supposed to be >Like to run to forget about it >Can't cope, stutter a lot and look 248 KB JPG weird >Find some forums online to help with how I feel >Running one day, can't take it anymore and I just crash >Mfw l'm a gamecube emulator
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)04:41:53 No.877556640 >Be me >Born in the wrong body >Know you guys will make fun of me but I don't care, this body isn't where I'm supposed to be >Like to run to forget about it >Can't cope, stutter a lot and look 248 KB JPG weird >Find some forums online to help with how I feel >Running one day, can't take it anymore and I just crash >Mfw l'm a gamecube emulator

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Student dept | /r/Greentext

Why student debt is a women's issue If current trends hold, women will have $1 trillion in outstanding student debt within the next year I Men $1 trillion IWomen $890 billion $550 billion $490 billion Current Some time in the next year (Estimate) Source: American Association of University Women >uni, California, 2008 >roommate is dumb roastie >dumb as a brick, clearly not college material >complains about the cost of community college >gets parents to give her a loan >they take out a second mortgage on their house to do so >$40,000 >enough for 2 years CC, 2 years state uni with plenty left over for books and more >dumb c--- blows it all in the first year >shopping trips >extensive vacations >nails, hair, wax, massages >new TV, buys her bf an xbox and tons of games >eats out every night >Friday night is sushi night - easily $2-300 worth of fish >complains about lack of money less than a year after loan >failed half her classes at community college >had herp too
Why student debt is a women's issue If current trends hold, women will have $1 trillion in outstanding student debt within the next year I Men $1 trillion IWomen $890 billion $550 billion $490 billion Current Some time in the next year (Estimate) Source: American Association of University Women >uni, California, 2008 >roommate is dumb roastie >dumb as a brick, clearly not college material >complains about the cost of community college >gets parents to give her a loan >they take out a second mortgage on their house to do so >$40,000 >enough for 2 years CC, 2 years state uni with plenty left over for books and more >dumb c--- blows it all in the first year >shopping trips >extensive vacations >nails, hair, wax, massages >new TV, buys her bf an xbox and tons of games >eats out every night >Friday night is sushi night - easily $2-300 worth of fish >complains about lack of money less than a year after loan >failed half her classes at community college >had herp too

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anon is victim of fake news | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IIUko3tA ) . 05/05/22(Thu)12:34:31 No.37622788 >be me >be in Congress >believe in sanctity of marriage cuz f--- f--- (but not literally) >Commies leak photo of anon in lingerie >nbd literally every guy goes to a drag party now and then >Commies leak vid of anon naked dry 83 КВ ЈPG humping another dude >We were obviously just joking >Vid leaks of anon sucking off a b--------- while giving 2 guys handies in a Japanese school uniform >It's cool bro we said no h--- first Can't even hang with the bros without the libtards calling you a f-- nowadays
: Anonymous (ID: IIUko3tA ) . 05/05/22(Thu)12:34:31 No.37622788 >be me >be in Congress >believe in sanctity of marriage cuz f--- f--- (but not literally) >Commies leak photo of anon in lingerie >nbd literally every guy goes to a drag party now and then >Commies leak vid of anon naked dry 83 КВ ЈPG humping another dude >We were obviously just joking >Vid leaks of anon sucking off a b--------- while giving 2 guys handies in a Japanese school uniform >It's cool bro we said no h--- first Can't even hang with the bros without the libtards calling you a f-- nowadays

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Anons are skeptical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:26:46 No.64643822 >get in >door closes >?????????????? >on a new floor you retards really believe this s---? 141 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:28:36 No.64643838 >>64643822 (OP) # >NO0000000 EVELATORS AREN'T PORTALS TO OTHER DIMENSIONS BECAUSE... THEY JUST AREN'T OKKK?!!!??? : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:29:32 No.64643846 >>64643822 (OP) # >not exclusively riding glass elevators : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:31:37 No.64643873 >>64643822 (OP) # >get in >door closes >???????????????? >in a new country 232 KB JPG how?
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:26:46 No.64643822 >get in >door closes >?????????????? >on a new floor you retards really believe this s---? 141 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:28:36 No.64643838 >>64643822 (OP) # >NO0000000 EVELATORS AREN'T PORTALS TO OTHER DIMENSIONS BECAUSE... THEY JUST AREN'T OKKK?!!!??? : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:29:32 No.64643846 >>64643822 (OP) # >not exclusively riding glass elevators : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:31:37 No.64643873 >>64643822 (OP) # >get in >door closes >???????????????? >in a new country 232 KB JPG how?

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon's Father tries ordering coffee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:47:11 No.68506887 my father called me to tell me something that happened today >driving to his job site early in the morning >stop at a mcdonalds to grab a coffee and a burrito >"how would you like your coffee sir" >"black" 49 KB JPG >the guy on the intercom pauses >"are you trying to disrespect me at my own f------ work" >"what" %3D >"you will treat me with respect you racist m-----------" >"I said I want a black coffee not a n----- coffee" >left without coffee or breakfast burrito my mother called me right after >"I really don't understand why your father got so much trouble with the black guy at the drive thru" >"why's that ma" >"if you say you want black coffee, doesn't that mean you like black people? the black guy at the drive thru should have been happy to hear it" I love my racist as s--- parents so much, I thought I was going to get a hernia from laughing so hard after the calls were over
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:47:11 No.68506887 my father called me to tell me something that happened today >driving to his job site early in the morning >stop at a mcdonalds to grab a coffee and a burrito >"how would you like your coffee sir" >"black" 49 KB JPG >the guy on the intercom pauses >"are you trying to disrespect me at my own f------ work" >"what" %3D >"you will treat me with respect you racist m-----------" >"I said I want a black coffee not a n----- coffee" >left without coffee or breakfast burrito my mother called me right after >"I really don't understand why your father got so much trouble with the black guy at the drive thru" >"why's that ma" >"if you say you want black coffee, doesn't that mean you like black people? the black guy at the drive thru should have been happy to hear it" I love my racist as s--- parents so much, I thought I was going to get a hernia from laughing so hard after the calls were over

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Anon plays the system and becomes a leech | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:31 No.877571824 >get a job at a huge organization >fully virtual >a year later, manager rage quits >team is a mess >new manager comes in but never contacts me 27 KB JPG >l never contact her >I don't think I was ever officially assigned to her so she probably doesn't even know I exist >slowly divert my work to different people in the company >nothing to do >no one to report to >l've been getting paid for free >it's been four months I literally spend all week watching movies. Next employee review is in seven months. I might get through till then. Tell me how you're doing being a slave /b/
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:31 No.877571824 >get a job at a huge organization >fully virtual >a year later, manager rage quits >team is a mess >new manager comes in but never contacts me 27 KB JPG >l never contact her >I don't think I was ever officially assigned to her so she probably doesn't even know I exist >slowly divert my work to different people in the company >nothing to do >no one to report to >l've been getting paid for free >it's been four months I literally spend all week watching movies. Next employee review is in seven months. I might get through till then. Tell me how you're doing being a slave /b/

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Marriage sucks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:08:59 No.877492343 >>877492410 >be me >raised to steongly beleive sex before marriage was evil >literally all my exes left me because of it >"you must be gay anon" >meet girl >literally rapes me >she's pregnant >raised to strongly beleive having a bastard is evil >marry her >overall a happy marriage at first >miscarriage >ovarian cancer >full hysterectomy >wife has no sexdrive now >wife doesn't even act like wife anymore >raised to strongly beleive divorce is evil >still married >am I being punished?
Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:08:59 No.877492343 >>877492410 >be me >raised to steongly beleive sex before marriage was evil >literally all my exes left me because of it >"you must be gay anon" >meet girl >literally rapes me >she's pregnant >raised to strongly beleive having a bastard is evil >marry her >overall a happy marriage at first >miscarriage >ovarian cancer >full hysterectomy >wife has no sexdrive now >wife doesn't even act like wife anymore >raised to strongly beleive divorce is evil >still married >am I being punished?

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Anon is chadaddy? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)10:23:16 No.877565121 Hi /b/ I had a sex ed question >me >body count 12 >never used protection >always pulled out 8 KB JPG >be with number 13 >after big bang >"wow anon you didn't even use protection, what if I become pregnant hehe" >I know what I'm doing, I always pull out >"still it can happen with precum" >???? Can it really /b/ ?? Are there mini anons running around made from pre mayo? I'm scurred.
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)10:23:16 No.877565121 Hi /b/ I had a sex ed question >me >body count 12 >never used protection >always pulled out 8 KB JPG >be with number 13 >after big bang >"wow anon you didn't even use protection, what if I become pregnant hehe" >I know what I'm doing, I always pull out >"still it can happen with precum" >???? Can it really /b/ ?? Are there mini anons running around made from pre mayo? I'm scurred.

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