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on the benefits of global warming | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)03:38:07 No.14456762 ► >>14456763 >>14456767 File: boomerjak.png (214 KB, 521x767) >>14456413 (OP) before >had to go all the way across the country to visit the beach >expensive as s--- now >beach right in my backyard >drive thirty minutes and im there >beach only gets closer and closer to my house
Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)03:38:07 No.14456762 ► >>14456763 >>14456767 File: boomerjak.png (214 KB, 521x767) >>14456413 (OP) before >had to go all the way across the country to visit the beach >expensive as s--- now >beach right in my backyard >drive thirty minutes and im there >beach only gets closer and closer to my house

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Anon is a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/20(Thu)21:46:35 No.842567137 >be me, fish wHY? >live in science class fish tank >just swimming around randomly one day >"boy I sure love my life in this nice water" 26 KB PNG >a special needs kid proceeds to pour fabric softener in the tank >mfw
: Anonymous 12/17/20(Thu)21:46:35 No.842567137 >be me, fish wHY? >live in science class fish tank >just swimming around randomly one day >"boy I sure love my life in this nice water" 26 KB PNG >a special needs kid proceeds to pour fabric softener in the tank >mfw

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The second reply reminds me of this sub | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775957357 25 min. ago >be at work >found ball >ball is bouncy >have fun with ball Life is good 1.4 MB JPG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 1 775958078 12 min. ago .. >>775957357 (OP) good for you anon :) Anonymous | 775958269 9 min. ago 00. >>775957357 (OP) F--- you and your light-hearted joy.
Anonymous | 775957357 25 min. ago >be at work >found ball >ball is bouncy >have fun with ball Life is good 1.4 MB JPG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 1 775958078 12 min. ago .. >>775957357 (OP) good for you anon :) Anonymous | 775958269 9 min. ago 00. >>775957357 (OP) F--- you and your light-hearted joy.

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

File: 3bgg5hl4bqf81.png (217 KB, 509x862) O Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)17:35:36 No.877568055 [Reply] >going through tour in neighbours house >see pic related qt girl peeking out of doorway >get a quick glance at her room >filled to the brim with a s--- ton of plushies/collectibles/toys >emanating a potent and oppressive Autism aura from within H--------, they exist /b/ros, I thought it was just a meme... >> Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)17:37:18 No.877568131 You better not f--- this up anon
File: 3bgg5hl4bqf81.png (217 KB, 509x862) O Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)17:35:36 No.877568055 [Reply] >going through tour in neighbours house >see pic related qt girl peeking out of doorway >get a quick glance at her room >filled to the brim with a s--- ton of plushies/collectibles/toys >emanating a potent and oppressive Autism aura from within H--------, they exist /b/ros, I thought it was just a meme... >> Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)17:37:18 No.877568131 You better not f--- this up anon

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Anon might watch a bit too much porn | /r/Greentext

>there is an infinite number of timelines >there is a timeline where you can plant a step-sis tree >every morning you go to your step-sis tree >pick a fresh step-sis for the day >she does typical step-sis s--- like compalining, nagging you, getting horny, riding you, making you c-- >you can pick a different step-sis each day >tiny azn step-sis >busty step-sis >black step-sis >Riley Mason step-sis Now that would be hella cool, don't you think? Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)18:42:24 No.21210374 wat?
>there is an infinite number of timelines >there is a timeline where you can plant a step-sis tree >every morning you go to your step-sis tree >pick a fresh step-sis for the day >she does typical step-sis s--- like compalining, nagging you, getting horny, riding you, making you c-- >you can pick a different step-sis each day >tiny azn step-sis >busty step-sis >black step-sis >Riley Mason step-sis Now that would be hella cool, don't you think? Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)18:42:24 No.21210374 wat?

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Anon runs to forget about his problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)04:41:53 No.877556640 >Be me >Born in the wrong body >Know you guys will make fun of me but I don't care, this body isn't where I'm supposed to be >Like to run to forget about it >Can't cope, stutter a lot and look 248 KB JPG weird >Find some forums online to help with how I feel >Running one day, can't take it anymore and I just crash >Mfw l'm a gamecube emulator
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)04:41:53 No.877556640 >Be me >Born in the wrong body >Know you guys will make fun of me but I don't care, this body isn't where I'm supposed to be >Like to run to forget about it >Can't cope, stutter a lot and look 248 KB JPG weird >Find some forums online to help with how I feel >Running one day, can't take it anymore and I just crash >Mfw l'm a gamecube emulator

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Student dept | /r/Greentext

Why student debt is a women's issue If current trends hold, women will have $1 trillion in outstanding student debt within the next year I Men $1 trillion IWomen $890 billion $550 billion $490 billion Current Some time in the next year (Estimate) Source: American Association of University Women >uni, California, 2008 >roommate is dumb roastie >dumb as a brick, clearly not college material >complains about the cost of community college >gets parents to give her a loan >they take out a second mortgage on their house to do so >$40,000 >enough for 2 years CC, 2 years state uni with plenty left over for books and more >dumb c--- blows it all in the first year >shopping trips >extensive vacations >nails, hair, wax, massages >new TV, buys her bf an xbox and tons of games >eats out every night >Friday night is sushi night - easily $2-300 worth of fish >complains about lack of money less than a year after loan >failed half her classes at community college >had herp too
Why student debt is a women's issue If current trends hold, women will have $1 trillion in outstanding student debt within the next year I Men $1 trillion IWomen $890 billion $550 billion $490 billion Current Some time in the next year (Estimate) Source: American Association of University Women >uni, California, 2008 >roommate is dumb roastie >dumb as a brick, clearly not college material >complains about the cost of community college >gets parents to give her a loan >they take out a second mortgage on their house to do so >$40,000 >enough for 2 years CC, 2 years state uni with plenty left over for books and more >dumb c--- blows it all in the first year >shopping trips >extensive vacations >nails, hair, wax, massages >new TV, buys her bf an xbox and tons of games >eats out every night >Friday night is sushi night - easily $2-300 worth of fish >complains about lack of money less than a year after loan >failed half her classes at community college >had herp too

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anon is victim of fake news | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IIUko3tA ) . 05/05/22(Thu)12:34:31 No.37622788 >be me >be in Congress >believe in sanctity of marriage cuz f--- f--- (but not literally) >Commies leak photo of anon in lingerie >nbd literally every guy goes to a drag party now and then >Commies leak vid of anon naked dry 83 КВ ЈPG humping another dude >We were obviously just joking >Vid leaks of anon sucking off a b--------- while giving 2 guys handies in a Japanese school uniform >It's cool bro we said no h--- first Can't even hang with the bros without the libtards calling you a f-- nowadays
: Anonymous (ID: IIUko3tA ) . 05/05/22(Thu)12:34:31 No.37622788 >be me >be in Congress >believe in sanctity of marriage cuz f--- f--- (but not literally) >Commies leak photo of anon in lingerie >nbd literally every guy goes to a drag party now and then >Commies leak vid of anon naked dry 83 КВ ЈPG humping another dude >We were obviously just joking >Vid leaks of anon sucking off a b--------- while giving 2 guys handies in a Japanese school uniform >It's cool bro we said no h--- first Can't even hang with the bros without the libtards calling you a f-- nowadays

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Anons are skeptical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:26:46 No.64643822 >get in >door closes >?????????????? >on a new floor you retards really believe this s---? 141 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:28:36 No.64643838 >>64643822 (OP) # >NO0000000 EVELATORS AREN'T PORTALS TO OTHER DIMENSIONS BECAUSE... THEY JUST AREN'T OKKK?!!!??? : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:29:32 No.64643846 >>64643822 (OP) # >not exclusively riding glass elevators : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:31:37 No.64643873 >>64643822 (OP) # >get in >door closes >???????????????? >in a new country 232 KB JPG how?
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:26:46 No.64643822 >get in >door closes >?????????????? >on a new floor you retards really believe this s---? 141 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:28:36 No.64643838 >>64643822 (OP) # >NO0000000 EVELATORS AREN'T PORTALS TO OTHER DIMENSIONS BECAUSE... THEY JUST AREN'T OKKK?!!!??? : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:29:32 No.64643846 >>64643822 (OP) # >not exclusively riding glass elevators : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:31:37 No.64643873 >>64643822 (OP) # >get in >door closes >???????????????? >in a new country 232 KB JPG how?

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon's Father tries ordering coffee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:47:11 No.68506887 my father called me to tell me something that happened today >driving to his job site early in the morning >stop at a mcdonalds to grab a coffee and a burrito >"how would you like your coffee sir" >"black" 49 KB JPG >the guy on the intercom pauses >"are you trying to disrespect me at my own f------ work" >"what" %3D >"you will treat me with respect you racist m-----------" >"I said I want a black coffee not a n----- coffee" >left without coffee or breakfast burrito my mother called me right after >"I really don't understand why your father got so much trouble with the black guy at the drive thru" >"why's that ma" >"if you say you want black coffee, doesn't that mean you like black people? the black guy at the drive thru should have been happy to hear it" I love my racist as s--- parents so much, I thought I was going to get a hernia from laughing so hard after the calls were over
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:47:11 No.68506887 my father called me to tell me something that happened today >driving to his job site early in the morning >stop at a mcdonalds to grab a coffee and a burrito >"how would you like your coffee sir" >"black" 49 KB JPG >the guy on the intercom pauses >"are you trying to disrespect me at my own f------ work" >"what" %3D >"you will treat me with respect you racist m-----------" >"I said I want a black coffee not a n----- coffee" >left without coffee or breakfast burrito my mother called me right after >"I really don't understand why your father got so much trouble with the black guy at the drive thru" >"why's that ma" >"if you say you want black coffee, doesn't that mean you like black people? the black guy at the drive thru should have been happy to hear it" I love my racist as s--- parents so much, I thought I was going to get a hernia from laughing so hard after the calls were over

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Anon plays the system and becomes a leech | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:31 No.877571824 >get a job at a huge organization >fully virtual >a year later, manager rage quits >team is a mess >new manager comes in but never contacts me 27 KB JPG >l never contact her >I don't think I was ever officially assigned to her so she probably doesn't even know I exist >slowly divert my work to different people in the company >nothing to do >no one to report to >l've been getting paid for free >it's been four months I literally spend all week watching movies. Next employee review is in seven months. I might get through till then. Tell me how you're doing being a slave /b/
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:31 No.877571824 >get a job at a huge organization >fully virtual >a year later, manager rage quits >team is a mess >new manager comes in but never contacts me 27 KB JPG >l never contact her >I don't think I was ever officially assigned to her so she probably doesn't even know I exist >slowly divert my work to different people in the company >nothing to do >no one to report to >l've been getting paid for free >it's been four months I literally spend all week watching movies. Next employee review is in seven months. I might get through till then. Tell me how you're doing being a slave /b/

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Marriage sucks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:08:59 No.877492343 >>877492410 >be me >raised to steongly beleive sex before marriage was evil >literally all my exes left me because of it >"you must be gay anon" >meet girl >literally rapes me >she's pregnant >raised to strongly beleive having a bastard is evil >marry her >overall a happy marriage at first >miscarriage >ovarian cancer >full hysterectomy >wife has no sexdrive now >wife doesn't even act like wife anymore >raised to strongly beleive divorce is evil >still married >am I being punished?
Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:08:59 No.877492343 >>877492410 >be me >raised to steongly beleive sex before marriage was evil >literally all my exes left me because of it >"you must be gay anon" >meet girl >literally rapes me >she's pregnant >raised to strongly beleive having a bastard is evil >marry her >overall a happy marriage at first >miscarriage >ovarian cancer >full hysterectomy >wife has no sexdrive now >wife doesn't even act like wife anymore >raised to strongly beleive divorce is evil >still married >am I being punished?

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Anon is chadaddy? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)10:23:16 No.877565121 Hi /b/ I had a sex ed question >me >body count 12 >never used protection >always pulled out 8 KB JPG >be with number 13 >after big bang >"wow anon you didn't even use protection, what if I become pregnant hehe" >I know what I'm doing, I always pull out >"still it can happen with precum" >???? Can it really /b/ ?? Are there mini anons running around made from pre mayo? I'm scurred.
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)10:23:16 No.877565121 Hi /b/ I had a sex ed question >me >body count 12 >never used protection >always pulled out 8 KB JPG >be with number 13 >after big bang >"wow anon you didn't even use protection, what if I become pregnant hehe" >I know what I'm doing, I always pull out >"still it can happen with precum" >???? Can it really /b/ ?? Are there mini anons running around made from pre mayo? I'm scurred.

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he is too far gone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)04:27:56 No.65818129 >There's people in this world that can get off to like bikini pics and don't have to watch Japanese business women kick a guy in the nuts to get off 16 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)04:27:56 No.65818129 >There's people in this world that can get off to like bikini pics and don't have to watch Japanese business women kick a guy in the nuts to get off 16 KB JPG

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Anon isnt survivalpilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)15:31:35 No.877563391 36880125-9924-4D14-BEF6-157A0FACB2B3.png 345 KB PNG Ok urgent situation anons I need your help. Especially if you are survivalpilled > be me > 20, virgin, finally get girlfriend > after one week she wants to sleep at my place >I live with my parents and the house is full this weekend > I want to finally get laid so invited her to my summer cottage in the forest > I checked temperature at this weekend and it will be around 10 celsius at the night so around 8 celsius in the cottage during night > mfw there is no electricity at the cottage > mfw there's no heating So can we survive it anons? Like how many blankets will we need? I am really nervous that we gonna die
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)15:31:35 No.877563391 36880125-9924-4D14-BEF6-157A0FACB2B3.png 345 KB PNG Ok urgent situation anons I need your help. Especially if you are survivalpilled > be me > 20, virgin, finally get girlfriend > after one week she wants to sleep at my place >I live with my parents and the house is full this weekend > I want to finally get laid so invited her to my summer cottage in the forest > I checked temperature at this weekend and it will be around 10 celsius at the night so around 8 celsius in the cottage during night > mfw there is no electricity at the cottage > mfw there's no heating So can we survive it anons? Like how many blankets will we need? I am really nervous that we gonna die

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Anon plays himself | /r/Greentext

Damaged >mom asks what fast food I want >say mcdonalds >actually want kfc Imao stupid bitch
Damaged >mom asks what fast food I want >say mcdonalds >actually want kfc Imao stupid bitch

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Why yes, I am a Millenial. How could you tell? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >Sol was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >Sol was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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You thought | /r/Greentext

>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated
>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated

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Anon attempts cooking | /r/Greentext

times you've f----- up? Il begin: >be me >greekfag, 14 yo >went to my uncles place for some PS2 action 15 KB JPG >playing TY the tasmanian tiger >get hungry >idea: ill cook some fries >what could possibly go wrong >put some oil >leave it >go back to playing >remember about it 2 hours later >s--- >this m----------- is hot as s--- >decide to throw in a test potato >grab the potato >keep a good distance away from the oil (genius idea) >three-point shoot that m----------- inside the oil >the potato instantly becomes enough smoke to make me unable to see and hotbox the f------ apartment >oh f---.mp5 >quickly get the oil off heat >mom sees smoke coming out of window >thinks i've burned alive >calls fire department >fire department breaks down door >they see a retarded kid crying next to some potatoes >mfw
times you've f----- up? Il begin: >be me >greekfag, 14 yo >went to my uncles place for some PS2 action 15 KB JPG >playing TY the tasmanian tiger >get hungry >idea: ill cook some fries >what could possibly go wrong >put some oil >leave it >go back to playing >remember about it 2 hours later >s--- >this m----------- is hot as s--- >decide to throw in a test potato >grab the potato >keep a good distance away from the oil (genius idea) >three-point shoot that m----------- inside the oil >the potato instantly becomes enough smoke to make me unable to see and hotbox the f------ apartment >oh f---.mp5 >quickly get the oil off heat >mom sees smoke coming out of window >thinks i've burned alive >calls fire department >fire department breaks down door >they see a retarded kid crying next to some potatoes >mfw

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