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Telephone game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)09:40:27 No.68530008 >female friend sends me funny tiktok video >want to share it with my gf >dont have tiktok so I just copy and paste the link 41 KB JPG >5min later >"who the f--- is paula??????" >tiktok f------ attaches the name of the person to the link shared She won't even talk to me now. H-------- I hate this zoomer app
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)09:40:27 No.68530008 >female friend sends me funny tiktok video >want to share it with my gf >dont have tiktok so I just copy and paste the link 41 KB JPG >5min later >"who the f--- is paula??????" >tiktok f------ attaches the name of the person to the link shared She won't even talk to me now. H-------- I hate this zoomer app

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Anon eat dinner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >l barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell| 8 KB JPG her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?
: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >l barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell| 8 KB JPG her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?

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Money talks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)08:26:56 No.68529475 How the f--- are you guys still virgins, legit once you know the steps and stick to it it's easy. >Start working out >Groom self, nice haircut, well trimmed beard. 138 KB PNG >Start a hobby which gets you out the house >Talk to women outside your family >Make actual female friends >Take pride in achievements and self image >Start going out to bars >Talk to strangers >Get drunk and hire an escort It's literally that easy
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)08:26:56 No.68529475 How the f--- are you guys still virgins, legit once you know the steps and stick to it it's easy. >Start working out >Groom self, nice haircut, well trimmed beard. 138 KB PNG >Start a hobby which gets you out the house >Talk to women outside your family >Make actual female friends >Take pride in achievements and self image >Start going out to bars >Talk to strangers >Get drunk and hire an escort It's literally that easy

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Anon does a bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 770101768 17 min, ago .. Green text story >Go to bar >Modern Jukebox in corner »Start to browse »See Africa by Toto >Put in 500$ >50 cents per song >Select Africa 1000 times 71 KA PNG >Takes a minute »People start to stare >Leave bar PAfrica is 4 minutes 30 seconds >100 plays = 75 hours >Return a couple days later- at hour 48 >Africa is still playing >l set down and order a drink >Partons look miserable >Bar staff is imitable >An haur goes by >Finally the bar owner emerges from the back furious >Starts trying to unplug machine >Can't- too heavy and its plugged in via extension chard behind the wall Patrons try to help >All the patrons except me >l say "it's a good song" and immediately some black dude screams "shut the f--- up" >Still cannot unplug >You could say "it's something 100 men could never do >Patrons and owner are furious still and getting more angry >Owner picks up chair and starts to beat machine »Machine starts piaying "rains in Africa" on repeat >Everyone is now loosing their s--- >They continue to attack Jukebox for 45 minutes >Someone gets a shovel from god knows where >Machine is finally broken >Everyone cheers >Bar is dead quiet now PLeave >Come back a manth later (yesterday) >New Jukebox >This time I double down Select "Never gonna give you up" 1000 times >Leave >l shall return in 2 days O REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY
Anonymous 770101768 17 min, ago .. Green text story >Go to bar >Modern Jukebox in corner »Start to browse »See Africa by Toto >Put in 500$ >50 cents per song >Select Africa 1000 times 71 KA PNG >Takes a minute »People start to stare >Leave bar PAfrica is 4 minutes 30 seconds >100 plays = 75 hours >Return a couple days later- at hour 48 >Africa is still playing >l set down and order a drink >Partons look miserable >Bar staff is imitable >An haur goes by >Finally the bar owner emerges from the back furious >Starts trying to unplug machine >Can't- too heavy and its plugged in via extension chard behind the wall Patrons try to help >All the patrons except me >l say "it's a good song" and immediately some black dude screams "shut the f--- up" >Still cannot unplug >You could say "it's something 100 men could never do >Patrons and owner are furious still and getting more angry >Owner picks up chair and starts to beat machine »Machine starts piaying "rains in Africa" on repeat >Everyone is now loosing their s--- >They continue to attack Jukebox for 45 minutes >Someone gets a shovel from god knows where >Machine is finally broken >Everyone cheers >Bar is dead quiet now PLeave >Come back a manth later (yesterday) >New Jukebox >This time I double down Select "Never gonna give you up" 1000 times >Leave >l shall return in 2 days O REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY

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New gym experience | /r/Greentext

>>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros
>>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros

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Anon gets bullied. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)12:28:25 No.66124959 Guys, I just got completely ostracized by some jabbies. >in college class a couple weeks ago (my school is based and doesn't require the jab) 1.85 MB JPG >people are discussing the jab because this one sheep just got the booster >cut in with my points to try and help them, like the survivability rate being 99.9% and the spike protein production, say that anti-parasite medicine works the best if they catch it >now, I've never been the tallest guy, always a little under 5'5 and a bit stocky >this one roidmaxxed, longhaired, probably antifa guy says "don't worry, the vaccine isn't going to make you any shorter or fatter" >everyone laughs, especially the females >now everyone refers to me as "Ponyboy" in reference to the LE HORSE MEDICINE meme and my height >professor heard what they were doing and just said "maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself" and started giving me lower scores on my responses I hate them so much, they make fun of us because we can think for ourselves and see through the b-------.
Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)12:28:25 No.66124959 Guys, I just got completely ostracized by some jabbies. >in college class a couple weeks ago (my school is based and doesn't require the jab) 1.85 MB JPG >people are discussing the jab because this one sheep just got the booster >cut in with my points to try and help them, like the survivability rate being 99.9% and the spike protein production, say that anti-parasite medicine works the best if they catch it >now, I've never been the tallest guy, always a little under 5'5 and a bit stocky >this one roidmaxxed, longhaired, probably antifa guy says "don't worry, the vaccine isn't going to make you any shorter or fatter" >everyone laughs, especially the females >now everyone refers to me as "Ponyboy" in reference to the LE HORSE MEDICINE meme and my height >professor heard what they were doing and just said "maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself" and started giving me lower scores on my responses I hate them so much, they make fun of us because we can think for ourselves and see through the b-------.

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Anon sees a flag | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: So6/5BW3 05/05/22(Thu)12:06:19 No.376224012 >ruins your chill obscure hobby and it's community Literally cancer 892 B PNG : Anonymous (ID: WQBJ+7IN ) 05/05/22(Thu)12:07:26 No.376224167 >>376224012 (OP) # That's the flag of Uraguy >>376224249 # >>376226068 # >>376227273 # >>376227757 # >>376232566 # >>376238886 # >>376242328 # >>376243103 # >>376250178 #
: Anonymous (ID: So6/5BW3 05/05/22(Thu)12:06:19 No.376224012 >ruins your chill obscure hobby and it's community Literally cancer 892 B PNG : Anonymous (ID: WQBJ+7IN ) 05/05/22(Thu)12:07:26 No.376224167 >>376224012 (OP) # That's the flag of Uraguy >>376224249 # >>376226068 # >>376227273 # >>376227757 # >>376232566 # >>376238886 # >>376242328 # >>376243103 # >>376250178 #

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Anon gets topped | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates Titanic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days >millions of women consider this 70 KB JPG a great love story Why are women like this?
: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days >millions of women consider this 70 KB JPG a great love story Why are women like this?

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Anon meets Ben Shapiro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)06:54:15 No.780496075 >Be me >barricaded in my room for weeks >the r--- dwarf r---- and killed my girlfriend >I hear his gigantic sack dragging on the ground as he giggles >decided that this isn't how I want to live 48 KB PNG >take down my barricade >pull down my pants and just wait for the inevitable >I can hear him giggle in excitement >his sack drags quickly towards me >all of the sudden I hear the dwarf squeal >I whip around to see Ben Shapiro waitwhat.crossover >he begins to violently r--- the dwarf while repeating rekt libtard and quoting black crime statistics >all the dwarf does is squeal >after he is done he just looks at me and says "Facts don't care about your feelings" >he throws a smoke bomb and disappears >MFW
: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)06:54:15 No.780496075 >Be me >barricaded in my room for weeks >the r--- dwarf r---- and killed my girlfriend >I hear his gigantic sack dragging on the ground as he giggles >decided that this isn't how I want to live 48 KB PNG >take down my barricade >pull down my pants and just wait for the inevitable >I can hear him giggle in excitement >his sack drags quickly towards me >all of the sudden I hear the dwarf squeal >I whip around to see Ben Shapiro waitwhat.crossover >he begins to violently r--- the dwarf while repeating rekt libtard and quoting black crime statistics >all the dwarf does is squeal >after he is done he just looks at me and says "Facts don't care about your feelings" >he throws a smoke bomb and disappears >MFW

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anon likes to sing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/06/22(Fri)08:57:04 No.877626206 Роopie-poopie butt! Poopie butt Oh poopie-poopie butt! Poopie butt There is poop in my butt it's the poopie butt! 7 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/06/22(Fri)09:02:17 No.877626407 >#WeTurdWithAmberHeard poop
: Anonymous 05/06/22(Fri)08:57:04 No.877626206 Роopie-poopie butt! Poopie butt Oh poopie-poopie butt! Poopie butt There is poop in my butt it's the poopie butt! 7 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/06/22(Fri)09:02:17 No.877626407 >#WeTurdWithAmberHeard poop

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The truth hurts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49042344 47 min. ago >go to self checkout at walmart >it shows your face on the screen the entire time STOP I DON'T WANT TO SEE 17.8 kB JPG
Anonymous | 49042344 47 min. ago >go to self checkout at walmart >it shows your face on the screen the entire time STOP I DON'T WANT TO SEE 17.8 kB JPG

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Anon catches a soul | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 787059622 (12 m) >>787059493 [OP] >Be Amerifag >Play pokemon go at late night >Someone put a pokelure near this hood >Go there to catch pokemons >N---- appears pointing at me with a knife >Tells me he wants my expensive smartphone >Say ok >Draw gun and shoot him in the head >Continue with pokemon go >Catch Gengar >Notice it's an anagram of Neggar >MFW i captured his soul.
Anonymous No. 787059622 (12 m) >>787059493 [OP] >Be Amerifag >Play pokemon go at late night >Someone put a pokelure near this hood >Go there to catch pokemons >N---- appears pointing at me with a knife >Tells me he wants my expensive smartphone >Say ok >Draw gun and shoot him in the head >Continue with pokemon go >Catch Gengar >Notice it's an anagram of Neggar >MFW i captured his soul.

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Anon on ordering food. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:51:55 No.68527050 >order food in america >$10 pizza >delivery fee is $7 (not given to driver) >still have to tip driver $2-3 >$10 pizza becomes $25 >pizza shop is 4 minutes away 18 KB JPG Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:53:48 No.68527062 >>68527050 (OP) >be retard >have yard full of perfectly edible, healthy grass and bugs >decide to spend $25 on artery clogging slop instead
Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:51:55 No.68527050 >order food in america >$10 pizza >delivery fee is $7 (not given to driver) >still have to tip driver $2-3 >$10 pizza becomes $25 >pizza shop is 4 minutes away 18 KB JPG Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:53:48 No.68527062 >>68527050 (OP) >be retard >have yard full of perfectly edible, healthy grass and bugs >decide to spend $25 on artery clogging slop instead

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Anon was bullied in high school | /r/Greentext

1h (5/6 23:16) · 68526415 1 Re · 0 Img · JPG 80KB (700 × 451) >be me >had 3 women in HS that hated my guts >constantly s--- on me for no reason >if i answered a question in class i would hear "f------ nerd" >constant roasting about what shoes, shirt pants i wore etc. >FF several years >married to my GF since 6th grade >wife runs into bully girls from HS >Bully girls ask about me, tell wife about what a wonderful man i am etc. >mention if i was single they would have snatched me up etc. why are women like this?
1h (5/6 23:16) · 68526415 1 Re · 0 Img · JPG 80KB (700 × 451) >be me >had 3 women in HS that hated my guts >constantly s--- on me for no reason >if i answered a question in class i would hear "f------ nerd" >constant roasting about what shoes, shirt pants i wore etc. >FF several years >married to my GF since 6th grade >wife runs into bully girls from HS >Bully girls ask about me, tell wife about what a wonderful man i am etc. >mention if i was single they would have snatched me up etc. why are women like this?

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Anon considers his future | /r/Greentext

#1 25564665 : 15 Is it OK to marry my second niece (daughter of my cousin) if it's legal in my country and l'm 36 and she is 18? I'm not 36, but that's what I would be when she turns 18.. 12/29/21 10:31:09 AM 5 replies #2 • 25564709 It doesn't sound even a little bit OK, OP. 12/29/21 10:40:33 AM 1 reply #3 • 25564714 >>25564709 I know, I'm gonna kms soon. 12/29/21 10:41:50 AM 2 replies
#1 25564665 : 15 Is it OK to marry my second niece (daughter of my cousin) if it's legal in my country and l'm 36 and she is 18? I'm not 36, but that's what I would be when she turns 18.. 12/29/21 10:31:09 AM 5 replies #2 • 25564709 It doesn't sound even a little bit OK, OP. 12/29/21 10:40:33 AM 1 reply #3 • 25564714 >>25564709 I know, I'm gonna kms soon. 12/29/21 10:41:50 AM 2 replies

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Least insane 4chan user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/22(Fri)22:33:24 No.873821562 164070951857 jpg 172 KB JPG Alright /b/, I made my first Mickey Mouse toy, how does it look? (Yeah, it was a real rat)
: Anonymous 03/04/22(Fri)22:33:24 No.873821562 164070951857 jpg 172 KB JPG Alright /b/, I made my first Mickey Mouse toy, how does it look? (Yeah, it was a real rat)

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anon discovers monsterfuckers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:33:51 No.877651541 >normal p--- not doing it for me anymore, require more context and characters with personalities >written p--- of my specific kinks is either nonexistent or spectacularly 49 KB JPG bad >end up finding online sex RP communities >browse through the prompts, too intimidated to message anyone >encounter a post of a woman wanting to f--- the most disgusting creature l've ever thought of. Like why the f--- would anyone want to f--- that >decide to give it a try, out of morbid curiosity if nothing else, being a gross enough monster to scare a woman away isn't new to me >get the ball rolling and don't sugarcoat anything, basically daring her to tap out first and be put off by her own fantasy >she breaks the RP for a moment ((H-------- you're good at this!)) >mfw >make a habit of looking for girls looking to rp getting f----- by weird and gross monsters >just be as gross and monstrous as I want, too, and get compliments on good writing >slowly progress to less weird and f------up monsters, and more and more to ones that just resemble me the way I am >also non-monster fictional dudes who are just f------ ugly >find one who's interested in Frankenstein's monster - the book version, with bonus points for actually being detailed and grounded in the book >l actually did f------ read the book a while ago, this is going to be great >have fun doing some story set-up and character establishment >wild and highly elaborate farm-girl-on-corpse- composite wilderness f------ ensues >keep the rp up a litrle moment, lingering in the scene since we both clearly enjoyed that "You truly, in your heart, do not find me monstrous?" "The more I look, the less of a monster I see. Those who have looked at you with disgust are strangers to me, and I don't understand them. You have been kind, and good to me, why should I care of anything else?" >feelsweirdlygoodman >keep doing this >l have no idea what I'm doing or why, but this is cheaper than therapy
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:33:51 No.877651541 >normal p--- not doing it for me anymore, require more context and characters with personalities >written p--- of my specific kinks is either nonexistent or spectacularly 49 KB JPG bad >end up finding online sex RP communities >browse through the prompts, too intimidated to message anyone >encounter a post of a woman wanting to f--- the most disgusting creature l've ever thought of. Like why the f--- would anyone want to f--- that >decide to give it a try, out of morbid curiosity if nothing else, being a gross enough monster to scare a woman away isn't new to me >get the ball rolling and don't sugarcoat anything, basically daring her to tap out first and be put off by her own fantasy >she breaks the RP for a moment ((H-------- you're good at this!)) >mfw >make a habit of looking for girls looking to rp getting f----- by weird and gross monsters >just be as gross and monstrous as I want, too, and get compliments on good writing >slowly progress to less weird and f------up monsters, and more and more to ones that just resemble me the way I am >also non-monster fictional dudes who are just f------ ugly >find one who's interested in Frankenstein's monster - the book version, with bonus points for actually being detailed and grounded in the book >l actually did f------ read the book a while ago, this is going to be great >have fun doing some story set-up and character establishment >wild and highly elaborate farm-girl-on-corpse- composite wilderness f------ ensues >keep the rp up a litrle moment, lingering in the scene since we both clearly enjoyed that "You truly, in your heart, do not find me monstrous?" "The more I look, the less of a monster I see. Those who have looked at you with disgust are strangers to me, and I don't understand them. You have been kind, and good to me, why should I care of anything else?" >feelsweirdlygoodman >keep doing this >l have no idea what I'm doing or why, but this is cheaper than therapy

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anon asks the real questions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:11:29 No.655138144 [Reply] >655139488 Ask a psychology major anything. O 27 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:54 No.655139483 > Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:57 No.655139486 Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:57 No.655139488 File: IMG 20151202_120721155 jpg (2.1 MB, 4320x2432) >>655138144 (OP) Why do my spaghetti-Os keep making lightning?
Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:11:29 No.655138144 [Reply] >655139488 Ask a psychology major anything. O 27 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:54 No.655139483 > Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:57 No.655139486 Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:57 No.655139488 File: IMG 20151202_120721155 jpg (2.1 MB, 4320x2432) >>655138144 (OP) Why do my spaghetti-Os keep making lightning?

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/06/22(Fri)21:40:56 No.877632016 >be me >*fart* >*deep sniff* >life is good 14 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/06/22(Fri)21:40:56 No.877632016 >be me >*fart* >*deep sniff* >life is good 14 KB JPG

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