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Anon joins the space force | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/19(Mon)07:34:34 No.806369057 >Be me >Always wanted to be an astronaut >Think "if I train real hard l'll be one someday" >Train real hard >Learn physics and s--- >Eventually work my way up to the 1.02 MB PNG space program >Tfw finally accepted into the space force with highest honors >Onwards, where no man has gone before! >All of a sudden the program is cancelled >Demand to know why >"Sorry anon, we decided to hire a gang of amphibious creatures to fight for us on other planets instead" >mfw I read the first letter of each sentence
: Anonymous 08/05/19(Mon)07:34:34 No.806369057 >Be me >Always wanted to be an astronaut >Think "if I train real hard l'll be one someday" >Train real hard >Learn physics and s--- >Eventually work my way up to the 1.02 MB PNG space program >Tfw finally accepted into the space force with highest honors >Onwards, where no man has gone before! >All of a sudden the program is cancelled >Demand to know why >"Sorry anon, we decided to hire a gang of amphibious creatures to fight for us on other planets instead" >mfw I read the first letter of each sentence

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Murica!!!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)00:15:05 No.53328488 Why can't Americans lose weight? 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)00:15:57 No.53328504 >>53328488 Losing weight involves losing. Americans never lose
: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)00:15:05 No.53328488 Why can't Americans lose weight? 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)00:15:57 No.53328504 >>53328488 Losing weight involves losing. Americans never lose

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Anon is unsure | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)00:23:50 No.877709910 >be me >homophobic and transphobic >also me >fantasizing about being a cute girl before going to sleep W-- is my problem 728 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)00:23:50 No.877709910 >be me >homophobic and transphobic >also me >fantasizing about being a cute girl before going to sleep W-- is my problem 728 KB PNG

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Anon is arab | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/19(Sat)21:52:09 No.794583614 >be me >arab >go to 4chan >"you're a s--------- terrorist and should be killed" >go to buzzfeed >"you're sexist bigoted homophobe 211 KB PNG and should be killed" >go to Saudi Arabia >"you're a sinner and should be killed" >mfw
: Anonymous 03/09/19(Sat)21:52:09 No.794583614 >be me >arab >go to 4chan >"you're a s--------- terrorist and should be killed" >go to buzzfeed >"you're sexist bigoted homophobe 211 KB PNG and should be killed" >go to Saudi Arabia >"you're a sinner and should be killed" >mfw

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Anon loses his dignity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)01:40:45 No.68535773 >>68515702 (OP) # >hanging out with group of people I don't know very well >one of them asks about my scars >try to change the subject, but she persists >starts making obviously wrong guesses >did I fall off a bike, is it a sports injury, is it from rock climbing, etc >eventually snap and say I did them to myself >she says "You mean you blame yourself, because if you were better at riding a bike you wouldn't have fallen off?" >"No, I mean literally cut them into my arm with a knife" >she pauses and gives me a disgusted look >"Yeah, obviously. I was trying to give you an easy out to save your dignity" Bitch, if you care so much about "saving my dignity", why did you ask in the first place?
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)01:40:45 No.68535773 >>68515702 (OP) # >hanging out with group of people I don't know very well >one of them asks about my scars >try to change the subject, but she persists >starts making obviously wrong guesses >did I fall off a bike, is it a sports injury, is it from rock climbing, etc >eventually snap and say I did them to myself >she says "You mean you blame yourself, because if you were better at riding a bike you wouldn't have fallen off?" >"No, I mean literally cut them into my arm with a knife" >she pauses and gives me a disgusted look >"Yeah, obviously. I was trying to give you an easy out to save your dignity" Bitch, if you care so much about "saving my dignity", why did you ask in the first place?

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Anon has a cool family | /r/Greentext

File: OFF4F010-88F4-4A19-8ECF-3EFE16FBC612.gif (663 KB, 220x212) Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:59:49 No.877673370 [Reply] ► >>877677189 There's not really a place to share this so I'm posting it here cause I still wanna tell someone >22 >just graduated college with a degree in film >never shared anything I worked on to parents because I was scared they wouldn't like it and think the degree was a waste of money >worked on a movie that ended up on a streaming service >tell them about it, still scared >dad calls hours after it's released saying they watched it >they sound really happy >2 days later he calls again saying he's watched it 4 times to make it to the credits and see my name >sends photos of his relatives that live across the country watching it and pointing at my name in the credits I dunno how to explain it but it just feels good to have the support I didn't know if l'd get, you know? Have a good one guys
File: OFF4F010-88F4-4A19-8ECF-3EFE16FBC612.gif (663 KB, 220x212) Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:59:49 No.877673370 [Reply] ► >>877677189 There's not really a place to share this so I'm posting it here cause I still wanna tell someone >22 >just graduated college with a degree in film >never shared anything I worked on to parents because I was scared they wouldn't like it and think the degree was a waste of money >worked on a movie that ended up on a streaming service >tell them about it, still scared >dad calls hours after it's released saying they watched it >they sound really happy >2 days later he calls again saying he's watched it 4 times to make it to the credits and see my name >sends photos of his relatives that live across the country watching it and pointing at my name in the credits I dunno how to explain it but it just feels good to have the support I didn't know if l'd get, you know? Have a good one guys

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Anon works at McDonald’s | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time CHICHEN appy mel 399ANOW >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AN EXCELLENT HAPPI >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time CHICHEN appy mel 399ANOW >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AN EXCELLENT HAPPI >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Cinderella story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I can't stand my fat sister(...) 05/07/22(Sat)14:58:47 No.68533027 >5'10 at 145 lbs, female >work out and eat healthy >put a lot of effort into my body the last 4 years >aspire to be muscle mommy, to crush mens balls between my thighs and biceps for their 12 KB PNG pleasure >just a bit lean w/ good thighs for now, the grind for gains soon to start >proceeds to get called anorexic by my fat sister >same f----- who used to call me a fat lard when I was one, motivating me to health purely for me trying to spite her >kicker is she was the sorority girl skinny bitch and the past few years Ive watched her gain pounds >now I am apparently "too skinny" and a skeleton This bitch is near a foot shorter and heavier than me. It's 100% out of jealousy, its every f------ time I see her she claims wont eat food and am starving myself, despite eating completely normal for your average athletic joe. I can't stand this bitch.
: Anonymous I can't stand my fat sister(...) 05/07/22(Sat)14:58:47 No.68533027 >5'10 at 145 lbs, female >work out and eat healthy >put a lot of effort into my body the last 4 years >aspire to be muscle mommy, to crush mens balls between my thighs and biceps for their 12 KB PNG pleasure >just a bit lean w/ good thighs for now, the grind for gains soon to start >proceeds to get called anorexic by my fat sister >same f----- who used to call me a fat lard when I was one, motivating me to health purely for me trying to spite her >kicker is she was the sorority girl skinny bitch and the past few years Ive watched her gain pounds >now I am apparently "too skinny" and a skeleton This bitch is near a foot shorter and heavier than me. It's 100% out of jealousy, its every f------ time I see her she claims wont eat food and am starving myself, despite eating completely normal for your average athletic joe. I can't stand this bitch.

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anon can’t win | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dUl+UFhw ) 12/11/20(Fri)23:54:41 No.24749979 >get job >virus hits >lose job >get job fighting virus >virus cured >lose job 1.33 MB PNG : Anonymous (ID: CKKQ2+zd 12/11/20(Fri)23:56:03 No.24749995 >>24749979 (OP) # Imao he thinks there's a virus
: Anonymous (ID: dUl+UFhw ) 12/11/20(Fri)23:54:41 No.24749979 >get job >virus hits >lose job >get job fighting virus >virus cured >lose job 1.33 MB PNG : Anonymous (ID: CKKQ2+zd 12/11/20(Fri)23:56:03 No.24749995 >>24749979 (OP) # Imao he thinks there's a virus

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Anon wants a manly man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)18:25:44 No.68145490 >tfw I want a bf who's bigger than me and has a d--- that makes mine look small in comparison >6ft tall with a 7 inch c--- and masculine faces It's not gonna happen bros l'm gonna have to settle for a w*man 81 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)18:25:44 No.68145490 >tfw I want a bf who's bigger than me and has a d--- that makes mine look small in comparison >6ft tall with a 7 inch c--- and masculine faces It's not gonna happen bros l'm gonna have to settle for a w*man 81 KB JPG

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Anon loses a bit of his masculinity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)13:45:47 No.877708380 Hello my namo is gay 14e.jpg 66 KB JPG >gf begs me time and time again to peg me >keep denying her >she keeps pestering me with it >finally give up and let her do it once >never again >few weeks later we get into an argument >she calls me a f----- that likes to be pegged
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)13:45:47 No.877708380 Hello my namo is gay 14e.jpg 66 KB JPG >gf begs me time and time again to peg me >keep denying her >she keeps pestering me with it >finally give up and let her do it once >never again >few weeks later we get into an argument >she calls me a f----- that likes to be pegged

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When nightmares become reality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)02:04:57 No.68523134 >be me last night >went to sleep >feel a tingle in my ear canal >get up and turn on the lights >tingle persists >try to shake my head >a f------ centipede fell off >took a few seconds to figure out what just 58 KB JPG happened >kill it asap and leave the room >end up sleeping in the living room Im now afraid of sleeping in bedroom again
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)02:04:57 No.68523134 >be me last night >went to sleep >feel a tingle in my ear canal >get up and turn on the lights >tingle persists >try to shake my head >a f------ centipede fell off >took a few seconds to figure out what just 58 KB JPG happened >kill it asap and leave the room >end up sleeping in the living room Im now afraid of sleeping in bedroom again

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Anon wants gender equality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)08:56:14 No.877687585 I have a question about gender equality WOMEN'S RIGHTS >wamyn >have t--- and asses that are assets in demand >exploit the demand 117 KB JPG >sell t--- and asses on media, social media, private life, professional life >"women are free to do as they please, men are pigs for lusting to begin with" You know what, that's fair enough. Women are things in demand in a free market. So they capitalize on it. They're using the assets they have. >penis havers >have mental and physical stamina and power to dominate most professional fields >"oppressive gender" >create unfair additional ease and opportunities for women to take what men are earning If women can use their assets for their financial gains, why can't men use their strengths to advance themselves freely? Why is one gender scrutinized and the other elevated even in degeneracy. >inb4 incel >inb4 ad hominem I get laid enough. Thank you.
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)08:56:14 No.877687585 I have a question about gender equality WOMEN'S RIGHTS >wamyn >have t--- and asses that are assets in demand >exploit the demand 117 KB JPG >sell t--- and asses on media, social media, private life, professional life >"women are free to do as they please, men are pigs for lusting to begin with" You know what, that's fair enough. Women are things in demand in a free market. So they capitalize on it. They're using the assets they have. >penis havers >have mental and physical stamina and power to dominate most professional fields >"oppressive gender" >create unfair additional ease and opportunities for women to take what men are earning If women can use their assets for their financial gains, why can't men use their strengths to advance themselves freely? Why is one gender scrutinized and the other elevated even in degeneracy. >inb4 incel >inb4 ad hominem I get laid enough. Thank you.

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Anon is going to be a father | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:21:22 No.64691889 >be me >24 years old kissless virgin >apply to be a sperm donor at local fertility center >pass all clinical test and somehow make it through the interview with the psychologist 155 KB JPG >sign a contract to c-- inside a test tube 6 times per month and get paid for it >got contacted today >someone is unironically interested in impregnating his wife with my seed >mfw
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:21:22 No.64691889 >be me >24 years old kissless virgin >apply to be a sperm donor at local fertility center >pass all clinical test and somehow make it through the interview with the psychologist 155 KB JPG >sign a contract to c-- inside a test tube 6 times per month and get paid for it >got contacted today >someone is unironically interested in impregnating his wife with my seed >mfw

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Anon uses arch, btw | /r/Greentext

>at resturant >over hear some guy say linux and not 'GNU/Linux' >enough is enough >go over to the poor lost soul >give him the 'its actually GNU/Linux' speech with such 53 KB JPG passion, it would bring stallman to tears >he leaves with his head down in shame >a waitress pulls down her pants and demands my seed right there on the spot >i deny her because i could never cheat on my waifu pillow I hate to do that to the poor lad. But we cant allow these hoolagins to get away with it anymore.
>at resturant >over hear some guy say linux and not 'GNU/Linux' >enough is enough >go over to the poor lost soul >give him the 'its actually GNU/Linux' speech with such 53 KB JPG passion, it would bring stallman to tears >he leaves with his head down in shame >a waitress pulls down her pants and demands my seed right there on the spot >i deny her because i could never cheat on my waifu pillow I hate to do that to the poor lad. But we cant allow these hoolagins to get away with it anymore.

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sounds fun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)23:31:45 No.14400657 >be me, at college >teacher gives us radioactive material to do Rutherford's experiment I kept thinking all the time during the experiment that I should have swallowed it. What would have 25 KB JPG happened if I did? My teacher said it wasn't too radioactive, just a little, so maybe l would have survived it? I regret not doing it, it would have been a great story to tell to my future grandkids. : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)19:10:12 No.14402948 >>14400657 (OP) # >I regret not doing it, it would have been a great story to tell to my future grandkids. Yeah, imagine having to explain to them why they're deformed. Sounds like a great time.
: Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)23:31:45 No.14400657 >be me, at college >teacher gives us radioactive material to do Rutherford's experiment I kept thinking all the time during the experiment that I should have swallowed it. What would have 25 KB JPG happened if I did? My teacher said it wasn't too radioactive, just a little, so maybe l would have survived it? I regret not doing it, it would have been a great story to tell to my future grandkids. : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)19:10:12 No.14402948 >>14400657 (OP) # >I regret not doing it, it would have been a great story to tell to my future grandkids. Yeah, imagine having to explain to them why they're deformed. Sounds like a great time.

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Anon is fake and gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous [-] 09/05/20(Sat)01:11:33 No.129919342 File: 1599187904873.jpg (54 KB, 908x666) >Mom found my gigachad folder >Says she saw a folder of buff half naked guys on my computer and asks if I'm gay
Anonymous [-] 09/05/20(Sat)01:11:33 No.129919342 File: 1599187904873.jpg (54 KB, 908x666) >Mom found my gigachad folder >Says she saw a folder of buff half naked guys on my computer and asks if I'm gay

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Anon goes to the zoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?
: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?

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Anon hates Amber Heard | /r/Greentext

>Watching coverage of the Johnny Depp trial. >I can't believe what that psychotic bitch did to him >Even a psychologist said Amber Heard is crazy >She abused Johnny Depp and then 21 KB JPG destroyed his career >Everyone believes her because she is a woman >I want to hunt Amber Heard for sport and then turn her into a skin suit
>Watching coverage of the Johnny Depp trial. >I can't believe what that psychotic bitch did to him >Even a psychologist said Amber Heard is crazy >She abused Johnny Depp and then 21 KB JPG destroyed his career >Everyone believes her because she is a woman >I want to hunt Amber Heard for sport and then turn her into a skin suit

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Anon’s parents are cucks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this too >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend 11 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this too >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend 11 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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