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Anon gets called poor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles >Haven't been there for a couple 83 KB JPG of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles >Haven't been there for a couple 83 KB JPG of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw

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Anon's dad helps him get life back on trac | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 802726564 22 min. ago ••• >be me >summer of 2004 >fatass kissless virgin >do nothing but play vidya all day >have stereotypical boomer dad, wife beater, Black Sabbath, socks and sandals >one day i'm on my vidya grind when boomer dad burst into room 8.0 kB JPG >wants to take me out on a "father and son fishing trip" >I say no >he pressures me for about an hour until I decide to finally go >we drive about 3 hours out from my city to a nice secluded lake >go fishing >really enjoyed it >did it again the next day >this continued for most of the summer >actually starting to go outside >made friends >got /fit/ >thanks dad
Anonymous | 802726564 22 min. ago ••• >be me >summer of 2004 >fatass kissless virgin >do nothing but play vidya all day >have stereotypical boomer dad, wife beater, Black Sabbath, socks and sandals >one day i'm on my vidya grind when boomer dad burst into room 8.0 kB JPG >wants to take me out on a "father and son fishing trip" >I say no >he pressures me for about an hour until I decide to finally go >we drive about 3 hours out from my city to a nice secluded lake >go fishing >really enjoyed it >did it again the next day >this continued for most of the summer >actually starting to go outside >made friends >got /fit/ >thanks dad

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blockbuster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)00:32:13 No.167755980 What was your perfect blockbuster experience. BLOCKBUSTER >weekend with dad >finally away from my mom and tyrone >dad takes me to blockbuster >he says I can pick a game >pick out fable >dad picks out Troy and says we can watch it together >pick up meat lover pizza and cheesy bread from pizza 456 KB JPG hut > go home and watch pure kino I miss this store. Also f--- you mom and you're cheating ass. There's a reason I stopped talking to you and only talk to dad now. Happy mother's day
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)00:32:13 No.167755980 What was your perfect blockbuster experience. BLOCKBUSTER >weekend with dad >finally away from my mom and tyrone >dad takes me to blockbuster >he says I can pick a game >pick out fable >dad picks out Troy and says we can watch it together >pick up meat lover pizza and cheesy bread from pizza 456 KB JPG hut > go home and watch pure kino I miss this store. Also f--- you mom and you're cheating ass. There's a reason I stopped talking to you and only talk to dad now. Happy mother's day

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Anon likes moles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention
: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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Regrets, I’ve had a few | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life
: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life

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Anon thinks about 8th grade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:35:34 No.877796330 >be me in 8th grade >I'm in art class & it's around the end of the school year >the teacher tells all of us to take our paintings and drawings home >(she was pretty nice to us & never really gave us any homework) >instead of taking their work home, everyone just 38 KB JPG throws it in the trash by the door >the teacher tells them not to throw it away because they worked so hard on all of it >me and the other students threw it in the trash anyway since we didn't feel like carrying all of it home >this was also pretty much on the last day of school, and it was the last time a lot of us saw her After all these years I still remember throwing my work away right in front of her, and I still haven't gotten over the guilt. To my 8th grade art teacher, I'm sorry for making you feel bad that day.
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:35:34 No.877796330 >be me in 8th grade >I'm in art class & it's around the end of the school year >the teacher tells all of us to take our paintings and drawings home >(she was pretty nice to us & never really gave us any homework) >instead of taking their work home, everyone just 38 KB JPG throws it in the trash by the door >the teacher tells them not to throw it away because they worked so hard on all of it >me and the other students threw it in the trash anyway since we didn't feel like carrying all of it home >this was also pretty much on the last day of school, and it was the last time a lot of us saw her After all these years I still remember throwing my work away right in front of her, and I still haven't gotten over the guilt. To my 8th grade art teacher, I'm sorry for making you feel bad that day.

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What's his secret? | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates Apple. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos
: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos

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Calling long distance | /r/Greentext


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Head shrinker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:37:30 No.68551297 >made the therapist cry again 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:37:30 No.68551297 >made the therapist cry again 65 KB JPG

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Anon’s thoughts on republicans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)18:43:41 No.877788039 >Wants to ban abortion >Now wants to ban birth control Why are republicans so f------ retarded They want more poor blacks having kids They want more homeless families on the street 432 KB PNG They want kids growing up in single parent households Why can't we just kill these retards?
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)18:43:41 No.877788039 >Wants to ban abortion >Now wants to ban birth control Why are republicans so f------ retarded They want more poor blacks having kids They want more homeless families on the street 432 KB PNG They want kids growing up in single parent households Why can't we just kill these retards?

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Anon is a proud American. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:39:47 No.877606759 CRYING TEARS OF JOY IMG_4735.jpg 24 KB JPG >be me, average american >sitting on my couch watching tv >billionaire kicks in my door >l am frozen with patriotic awe >slaps my bud light out of my hand >f---- my wife on the couch next to me >wipes his d--- on the curtains >l manage to squeak out "thank you for your service" >he towers over me like a titan of industry >pisses on my face while screaming "TRICKLE DOWN" >I clap and tip him 20% >he twists my n------ while asking if l'm “a union man" >tell him proudly that I'm a rugged individualist like him >he seems pleased >breaks a window to create more jobs and flies away truly we are a blessed nation
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:39:47 No.877606759 CRYING TEARS OF JOY IMG_4735.jpg 24 KB JPG >be me, average american >sitting on my couch watching tv >billionaire kicks in my door >l am frozen with patriotic awe >slaps my bud light out of my hand >f---- my wife on the couch next to me >wipes his d--- on the curtains >l manage to squeak out "thank you for your service" >he towers over me like a titan of industry >pisses on my face while screaming "TRICKLE DOWN" >I clap and tip him 20% >he twists my n------ while asking if l'm “a union man" >tell him proudly that I'm a rugged individualist like him >he seems pleased >breaks a window to create more jobs and flies away truly we are a blessed nation

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Anon, The Breaker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)12:57:47 No.80646293 1618542645521.jpg 39 KB JPG >>80645680 # >every morning I break out of my house >every night I break in >l do not sleep >l only repair the damage and perfect my defenses >l hunger for the day that I am either entombed forever or effectively exiled from my own house
: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)12:57:47 No.80646293 1618542645521.jpg 39 KB JPG >>80645680 # >every morning I break out of my house >every night I break in >l do not sleep >l only repair the damage and perfect my defenses >l hunger for the day that I am either entombed forever or effectively exiled from my own house

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Pretty sure anon is gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:02:15 No.877762040 308 KB PNG if that was your son, what would you do? Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:03:20 No.877762096 >>877762040 (OP) f--- him, when wife is out of the house. Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:03:50 No.877762115 >>877762040 (OP) Suck his d--- and tell him he is a pretty girl.
Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:02:15 No.877762040 308 KB PNG if that was your son, what would you do? Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:03:20 No.877762096 >>877762040 (OP) f--- him, when wife is out of the house. Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:03:50 No.877762115 >>877762040 (OP) Suck his d--- and tell him he is a pretty girl.

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/18(Tue)20:58:08 No.785372907 >785372291 (OP) # I'm officially banned from my family's thanksgiving getogether because last year I spiked my 12'yo neice's food with laxatives so she'd s--- herself in front of everyone 6 KB JPG to satisfy my scat i----- fetish. I guess I'm lucky they didn't call the cops. >>785373007 # >>785373051 # >>785373102 # >>785373193 # >>785373242 # >>785373476 # >>785373610 # >>785373717 # >>785373930 # >>785374070 # >>785374102 # >>785374215 # >>785374263 # >>785374385 # >>785374490 # >>785375095 #
: Anonymous 11/20/18(Tue)20:58:08 No.785372907 >785372291 (OP) # I'm officially banned from my family's thanksgiving getogether because last year I spiked my 12'yo neice's food with laxatives so she'd s--- herself in front of everyone 6 KB JPG to satisfy my scat i----- fetish. I guess I'm lucky they didn't call the cops. >>785373007 # >>785373051 # >>785373102 # >>785373193 # >>785373242 # >>785373476 # >>785373610 # >>785373717 # >>785373930 # >>785374070 # >>785374102 # >>785374215 # >>785374263 # >>785374385 # >>785374490 # >>785375095 #

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Anon hates Perry the Platypus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)01:56:41 No.873198137 >be me >spend millions of dollars in order to make conplex machines >Blue penguin with a hat walks in >i trap him >i tell him my life story >he escapes and destroys my creation 291 KB PNG Curse you Pery the platypus : Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)01:59:59 No.873198334 >>873198137 (OP)# 1.17 MB GIF
: Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)01:56:41 No.873198137 >be me >spend millions of dollars in order to make conplex machines >Blue penguin with a hat walks in >i trap him >i tell him my life story >he escapes and destroys my creation 291 KB PNG Curse you Pery the platypus : Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)01:59:59 No.873198334 >>873198137 (OP)# 1.17 MB GIF

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Anon’s girlfriend makes her feel loved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/19(Thu)20:31:08 No.802160267 >be me >be 14 >only female on this site >depressed af >new girl joins the my boxing club >11/10 qt 3.14 64 KB JPG >we become friends >find out she lives 2 minutes away from me >hang out every day >start to crush on her >grow some balls and confess my feelings >she likes me back >parents homophobic so we date in secret >ugly ass friend from school keeps asking me out >she's creepy af >i tell her i'm in a relationship but she persists >turns into borderline stalking >she follows me to the cinema where i'm meeting my gf >takes pictures of us kissing >outs us to the school >we tell people about her harassing us and about her r--- fetish >mfw people stick up for us 1 year passes >plan fancy dinner date for our 1 year anniversary >living with gf and her supportive family cause parents kicked me out >she gets sick so we lie in bed instead >she feels bad for "ruining" our anniversary >throws up then passes out with her head on my chest >mfw i feel loved >mfw i'm not depressed anymore >mfw i finally have a supportive family I made it /b/
: Anonymous 06/13/19(Thu)20:31:08 No.802160267 >be me >be 14 >only female on this site >depressed af >new girl joins the my boxing club >11/10 qt 3.14 64 KB JPG >we become friends >find out she lives 2 minutes away from me >hang out every day >start to crush on her >grow some balls and confess my feelings >she likes me back >parents homophobic so we date in secret >ugly ass friend from school keeps asking me out >she's creepy af >i tell her i'm in a relationship but she persists >turns into borderline stalking >she follows me to the cinema where i'm meeting my gf >takes pictures of us kissing >outs us to the school >we tell people about her harassing us and about her r--- fetish >mfw people stick up for us 1 year passes >plan fancy dinner date for our 1 year anniversary >living with gf and her supportive family cause parents kicked me out >she gets sick so we lie in bed instead >she feels bad for "ruining" our anniversary >throws up then passes out with her head on my chest >mfw i feel loved >mfw i'm not depressed anymore >mfw i finally have a supportive family I made it /b/

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Anon is named Jesus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)04:30:09 No.64728591 >be my Asian grandfather >tired of living in Cambodia >decide to move to America >the property I bought just so happens to be in a Mexican neighborhood >celebrate all the Mexican holidays 94 KB JPG just not to look out of place >son eventually marries a Latina girl and they have their own son >they name him Jesus Why the f--- is my name Jesus
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)04:30:09 No.64728591 >be my Asian grandfather >tired of living in Cambodia >decide to move to America >the property I bought just so happens to be in a Mexican neighborhood >celebrate all the Mexican holidays 94 KB JPG just not to look out of place >son eventually marries a Latina girl and they have their own son >they name him Jesus Why the f--- is my name Jesus

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard 31 KB JPG Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard 31 KB JPG Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Door Stopper Goes BOING | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/19(Thu)09:54:48 No.816049175 bbYOOIIIINNNNGGGGGggGGgg 12 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/12/19(Thu)09:55:19 No.816049185 81 KB GIF еееееееееееееееееееееееееееееееееее eeeeeeeeheheheheheheheheheheheheheh ehehehehehehehheheheeeee!
: Anonymous 12/12/19(Thu)09:54:48 No.816049175 bbYOOIIIINNNNGGGGGggGGgg 12 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/12/19(Thu)09:55:19 No.816049185 81 KB GIF еееееееееееееееееееееееееееееееееее eeeeeeeeheheheheheheheheheheheheheh ehehehehehehehheheheeeee!

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