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OP's son is Sonic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys

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Anon has social autism | /r/Greentext

05/10/22(Tue)00:01:30 No.15168900 Anonymous (ID: TINAICQI File: The Game.jpg (57 KB, 754x1131) >>15168813 (OP) > at work > hungry.exe > want ice cream > lunch hour rolls around > go to ice cream shop nearby > buy a two scoop cup of mint chocolate chip > drop it on floor when they hand it to me > "don't worry anon, we can make you another" > social autism kicks in > "nah its fine, I don't want ice cream anymore" > walk out Damn, I really wanted some mint chocolate chip ice cream
05/10/22(Tue)00:01:30 No.15168900 Anonymous (ID: TINAICQI File: The Game.jpg (57 KB, 754x1131) >>15168813 (OP) > at work > hungry.exe > want ice cream > lunch hour rolls around > go to ice cream shop nearby > buy a two scoop cup of mint chocolate chip > drop it on floor when they hand it to me > "don't worry anon, we can make you another" > social autism kicks in > "nah its fine, I don't want ice cream anymore" > walk out Damn, I really wanted some mint chocolate chip ice cream

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Anon tries to cope, so does gen z | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)19:37:45 No.877846986 >me, 28 >been with 3 women in my life >all around my age >pretty vanilla sex >mostly into cute emotional bonding stuff 26 KB JPG >last relationship ended a year ago >back in the market after three and a half years >join tinder and go full man w---- to cope >been with 2 women my age and 7 between 21 and 25 >every chick under 25 directly goes to deep throating completely unprompted >hardcore into rough stuff like being chocked and slapped >smoke weed before and after sex W-- is going on with gen z /b/ are they ok?? Side note, l've never felt lonlier or sadder since starting being a slut. Feelsbad. Helpme. I miss you Jenn :(
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)19:37:45 No.877846986 >me, 28 >been with 3 women in my life >all around my age >pretty vanilla sex >mostly into cute emotional bonding stuff 26 KB JPG >last relationship ended a year ago >back in the market after three and a half years >join tinder and go full man w---- to cope >been with 2 women my age and 7 between 21 and 25 >every chick under 25 directly goes to deep throating completely unprompted >hardcore into rough stuff like being chocked and slapped >smoke weed before and after sex W-- is going on with gen z /b/ are they ok?? Side note, l've never felt lonlier or sadder since starting being a slut. Feelsbad. Helpme. I miss you Jenn :(

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Anons in a little trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)22:26:24 No.877860826 OH MY GOD A DATA CENTER JUST WENT DOWN AND I WORK THE NIGHT SHIFT I DONT KNOW WHAT THE F--- TO DO I LIED ON MY RESUME F------ HELP ME I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE INTERNET 10 KB JPG 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)22:26:24 No.877860826 OH MY GOD A DATA CENTER JUST WENT DOWN AND I WORK THE NIGHT SHIFT I DONT KNOW WHAT THE F--- TO DO I LIED ON MY RESUME F------ HELP ME I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE INTERNET 10 KB JPG 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon's dad helps him move | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)08:13:15 No.68566750 >dad helping me move >we dont talk much >unpack all my gay anime s--- >dad points at my rem and ram figures >"Hey cool sailor moons" >"Thanks" 235 KB PNG At least he trys bros
: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)08:13:15 No.68566750 >dad helping me move >we dont talk much >unpack all my gay anime s--- >dad points at my rem and ram figures >"Hey cool sailor moons" >"Thanks" 235 KB PNG At least he trys bros

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Anon thinks about Asian stereotypes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:30:26 No.877852384 Ok, so the other day I was thinking about why Asians are always stereotyped to be smart or incredibly hard working. And I decided to look up what high school was like in China Paranta pray or high marka for their chdrentaking the geokasin Shenyangnertheastern ChinainJune 201a. VCavoo 36 KB JPG >in one video, a girl left home at 6 AM >she would get to school at 7 AM, where they would mop the floors to start the day >they get a 40-minute nap time in the middle of the day which is cool I guess >when 10th period ends at 5:50, they eat dinner at school >from 6:30 to 9:30 PM, they have an evening study hall where kids can do homework in a better environment than home >the girl in the video gets home at 10 PM >do some more research & find that a lot of HS students in China suffer from sleep deprivation (with one article having an estimate of 80%) >the kids also have to spend years preparing for the Gaokao, which is called one of the hardest exams in the world (even harder than the SAT) >this test can single-handedly decide your future, & the photo is of Chinese parents publicly praying that their kids do well on the exam >suicide is also the leading cause of death among youths there (in one story, a 10 yo boy jumped to his death because his teacher allegedly told him to) >plus, video games are also banned on schooldays, and they can only play for 3 hours max on the weekend so that they can devote even more time to studying than they already do I barely made it through American HS. If I went to one of the high schools in China I would probably have a nervous breakdown once a week
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:30:26 No.877852384 Ok, so the other day I was thinking about why Asians are always stereotyped to be smart or incredibly hard working. And I decided to look up what high school was like in China Paranta pray or high marka for their chdrentaking the geokasin Shenyangnertheastern ChinainJune 201a. VCavoo 36 KB JPG >in one video, a girl left home at 6 AM >she would get to school at 7 AM, where they would mop the floors to start the day >they get a 40-minute nap time in the middle of the day which is cool I guess >when 10th period ends at 5:50, they eat dinner at school >from 6:30 to 9:30 PM, they have an evening study hall where kids can do homework in a better environment than home >the girl in the video gets home at 10 PM >do some more research & find that a lot of HS students in China suffer from sleep deprivation (with one article having an estimate of 80%) >the kids also have to spend years preparing for the Gaokao, which is called one of the hardest exams in the world (even harder than the SAT) >this test can single-handedly decide your future, & the photo is of Chinese parents publicly praying that their kids do well on the exam >suicide is also the leading cause of death among youths there (in one story, a 10 yo boy jumped to his death because his teacher allegedly told him to) >plus, video games are also banned on schooldays, and they can only play for 3 hours max on the weekend so that they can devote even more time to studying than they already do I barely made it through American HS. If I went to one of the high schools in China I would probably have a nervous breakdown once a week

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Anon talks about the American way of life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Ic9dMmiy ) Cuz l'm proud to be an America...) 05/09/22(Mon)19:17:46 No.15170444 >be me >American We the Deople >wake up and get ready for work >go to McDonalds & get a nice juicy Big Mac for breakfast >work my 14-hour shift at the coal 43 KB JPG mine >I have a tiny heart attack as I'm walking back to my house, but I manage to outrun the paramedics trying to resuscitate me >return home to my pregnant wife & 6 kids >crack open a can of Bud Lite and watch some good 'ol NASCAR >as I'm watching TV I notice that my youngest child William Robert Smith II is teething >I toss him my revolver to gnaw on (but take out all of the bullets first like a responsible parent) >I keep drinking until I black out on my La-Z Boy Not a day goes by where I don't thank Lord Jesus Christ for letting me live in the greatest country on Earth
: Anonymous (ID: Ic9dMmiy ) Cuz l'm proud to be an America...) 05/09/22(Mon)19:17:46 No.15170444 >be me >American We the Deople >wake up and get ready for work >go to McDonalds & get a nice juicy Big Mac for breakfast >work my 14-hour shift at the coal 43 KB JPG mine >I have a tiny heart attack as I'm walking back to my house, but I manage to outrun the paramedics trying to resuscitate me >return home to my pregnant wife & 6 kids >crack open a can of Bud Lite and watch some good 'ol NASCAR >as I'm watching TV I notice that my youngest child William Robert Smith II is teething >I toss him my revolver to gnaw on (but take out all of the bullets first like a responsible parent) >I keep drinking until I black out on my La-Z Boy Not a day goes by where I don't thank Lord Jesus Christ for letting me live in the greatest country on Earth

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Anon's day was made | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health 3 KB JPG >He doesn't know how to heal. >l heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man
: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health 3 KB JPG >He doesn't know how to heal. >l heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man

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Raising the bar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)03:21:09 No.68553645 >go to female subreddits, fds, crystal cafe >tell every woman there they can do better >make up stories about how I/my friends were so much happier when they dumped their mid bfs for Chad 4 KB JPG >mfw filling women with unrealistic expectations and dooming them to spinsterhood
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)03:21:09 No.68553645 >go to female subreddits, fds, crystal cafe >tell every woman there they can do better >make up stories about how I/my friends were so much happier when they dumped their mid bfs for Chad 4 KB JPG >mfw filling women with unrealistic expectations and dooming them to spinsterhood

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anon is critical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)16:19:23 No.877820035 >No time to die >dies 112 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)16:19:23 No.877820035 >No time to die >dies 112 KB JPG

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Anon has a grandfather. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:10:43 No.68563456 >84 year old grandfather tells me that he's joined a message board devoted to discussing cars >based on the way he speaks, he clearly had no idea what a message board was until very recently >he shows me some of his post history >he enjoys posting stupid, obviously false and ridiculous information just to see how people 117 KB JPG reply >he doesn't know the terms shitposting or trolling, so he says "I'm jerkin' their chains!" and scrolls down, busting a gut with laughter as he reads off some of the replies An 84 year old man is an online troll. I am genuinely ashamed to be his grandson. Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:37:06 No.68563759 >>68563456_(OP). lol sounds like your chain got jerked
Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:10:43 No.68563456 >84 year old grandfather tells me that he's joined a message board devoted to discussing cars >based on the way he speaks, he clearly had no idea what a message board was until very recently >he shows me some of his post history >he enjoys posting stupid, obviously false and ridiculous information just to see how people 117 KB JPG reply >he doesn't know the terms shitposting or trolling, so he says "I'm jerkin' their chains!" and scrolls down, busting a gut with laughter as he reads off some of the replies An 84 year old man is an online troll. I am genuinely ashamed to be his grandson. Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:37:06 No.68563759 >>68563456_(OP). lol sounds like your chain got jerked

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Anon smokes weed. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/20(Sat)12:46:58 No.834284565 >smoking weed with roommate >stoned like a biblical w---- >munchies >no food at the apartment >call up pizza place >30 minutes later 165 KB PNG >someone knocks on our front door >roommate and I start freaking out >think were gonna get arrested >open door >pizza guy with a dumb look on his face >roommate behind me says "what seems to be the problem officer?" >mfw
: Anonymous 08/15/20(Sat)12:46:58 No.834284565 >smoking weed with roommate >stoned like a biblical w---- >munchies >no food at the apartment >call up pizza place >30 minutes later 165 KB PNG >someone knocks on our front door >roommate and I start freaking out >think were gonna get arrested >open door >pizza guy with a dumb look on his face >roommate behind me says "what seems to be the problem officer?" >mfw

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Anon Is Invincible.."" | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)16:36:45 No.857406299 >be 5'6 >got a massive humiliation fetish >go on Tinder, have my height on my profile >send polite messages to beautiful women >j------- to their responses >God tried to nerf me but failed
O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)16:36:45 No.857406299 >be 5'6 >got a massive humiliation fetish >go on Tinder, have my height on my profile >send polite messages to beautiful women >j------- to their responses >God tried to nerf me but failed

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Anon is antisocial | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:54:42 No.68559838 >normalfag tries making small talk with me >tell them "I don't care" >their initial confusion and then absolute seethe when they realize I rebuffed them without any subtlety it's so fun bros, I love being an anti-social prick 285 KB GIF : Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:56:42 No.68559864 you are alone brother the anti-social behaviour is a defence mechanism against them hurting you first. its gonna be okay bro, itll be okay...
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:54:42 No.68559838 >normalfag tries making small talk with me >tell them "I don't care" >their initial confusion and then absolute seethe when they realize I rebuffed them without any subtlety it's so fun bros, I love being an anti-social prick 285 KB GIF : Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)20:56:42 No.68559864 you are alone brother the anti-social behaviour is a defence mechanism against them hurting you first. its gonna be okay bro, itll be okay...

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Anon gets the pass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)01:05:07 No.68561944 >female friend invites me to watch cartoons with her and her friends >pretty fun >they want me to watch stuff with them next week too >get invited to their group discord >they call their weekly cartoon/ 289 KB JPG anime watching girl's night >ask why they invited a guy to girl's night >they say I don't count >ask why >"you're basically a girl" What the f---? I'm a 6'1 man
: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)01:05:07 No.68561944 >female friend invites me to watch cartoons with her and her friends >pretty fun >they want me to watch stuff with them next week too >get invited to their group discord >they call their weekly cartoon/ 289 KB JPG anime watching girl's night >ask why they invited a guy to girl's night >they say I don't count >ask why >"you're basically a girl" What the f---? I'm a 6'1 man

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Anon has a divorce | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:03:16 No.798956343 >>798956656 >be me >getting a divorce >wife had been cheating on me for a while, planned it out for months before giving me those papers >basically am f-----, she covered all her legal ground, even though she earns more l'l probably have to pay alimony, she'll get full custody, the house, if she wanted she'd probably get the dog and my ass too. >l love my kids 14f and 12m >my boy is the most gentle soul ever, so creative and funny >likes fortnite though, but I still love him very much, sometimes I just sit on the sofa next to him eating Cheetos and tease him for being a noob >the daughter is a bit weird, distant, hostile but we have our bond we watch shows together GOT, suits, blindspot, the 100, etc. >l wish we did more together but I respect her space >Never realized how much l'd miss these little moments with them until they were about to vanish >hearing comes >judge asks who they want to stay with, doesn't really matter either way, their wishes aren't binding, it's pretty certain the judge is gonna give it to wife, but I'm still pretty happy to hear daughter say she wants to stay with me >until she shows the bruises and scars >says my wife had been abusing her >I'm shocked, my wife could be a cheater but she wasn't an abuser >I get suspicious when she shows c-------- burns on her arm (wife doesn't smoke) >she even shows a medical report claiming she suffered "forced a--- and genital insertions >get full custody, child support and wife's gonna end up ina sex offender list >l ask daughter why she never told me any of this >admits it's all bullishit, she found out about the affair a while ago and started hurting herself, got a friend to help with the genital stuff >"she ruined our family so I ruined her life" So apparently I'm raising a complete psychopath. Welp, at least my ex got screwed over. Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:05:57 No.798956510 Based af. Buy her cool s--- and give her a super late curfew. Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:06:00 No.798956513 put me on the screencap for reddit
O Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:03:16 No.798956343 >>798956656 >be me >getting a divorce >wife had been cheating on me for a while, planned it out for months before giving me those papers >basically am f-----, she covered all her legal ground, even though she earns more l'l probably have to pay alimony, she'll get full custody, the house, if she wanted she'd probably get the dog and my ass too. >l love my kids 14f and 12m >my boy is the most gentle soul ever, so creative and funny >likes fortnite though, but I still love him very much, sometimes I just sit on the sofa next to him eating Cheetos and tease him for being a noob >the daughter is a bit weird, distant, hostile but we have our bond we watch shows together GOT, suits, blindspot, the 100, etc. >l wish we did more together but I respect her space >Never realized how much l'd miss these little moments with them until they were about to vanish >hearing comes >judge asks who they want to stay with, doesn't really matter either way, their wishes aren't binding, it's pretty certain the judge is gonna give it to wife, but I'm still pretty happy to hear daughter say she wants to stay with me >until she shows the bruises and scars >says my wife had been abusing her >I'm shocked, my wife could be a cheater but she wasn't an abuser >I get suspicious when she shows c-------- burns on her arm (wife doesn't smoke) >she even shows a medical report claiming she suffered "forced a--- and genital insertions >get full custody, child support and wife's gonna end up ina sex offender list >l ask daughter why she never told me any of this >admits it's all bullishit, she found out about the affair a while ago and started hurting herself, got a friend to help with the genital stuff >"she ruined our family so I ruined her life" So apparently I'm raising a complete psychopath. Welp, at least my ex got screwed over. Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:05:57 No.798956510 Based af. Buy her cool s--- and give her a super late curfew. Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:06:00 No.798956513 put me on the screencap for reddit

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Anon is a cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)13:45:22 No.877826790 My gf started an onlyfans 2 months ago and after one Onlýtans month she only had one follower (me).. she was upset and I felt bad for her. I decided to create multiple 42 KB JPG accounts and subscribe to her so she would be happier and more encouraged to continue with her journey. Recently over the past few weeks she has been messaging one of my accounts, which uses a very handsome male profile picture and she has been hinting at meeting up with him. I don't know what to do right now, do I tell her the truth about what I am doing, or continue pretending to be this guy to avoid upsetting her? She mentioning being willing to fly out to meet this dude, I think her heart would be broken if I told her. : Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)13:46:22 No.877826844 >>877826790 (OP) # Imao what a cuck kill her then kill yourself f-------
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)13:45:22 No.877826790 My gf started an onlyfans 2 months ago and after one Onlýtans month she only had one follower (me).. she was upset and I felt bad for her. I decided to create multiple 42 KB JPG accounts and subscribe to her so she would be happier and more encouraged to continue with her journey. Recently over the past few weeks she has been messaging one of my accounts, which uses a very handsome male profile picture and she has been hinting at meeting up with him. I don't know what to do right now, do I tell her the truth about what I am doing, or continue pretending to be this guy to avoid upsetting her? She mentioning being willing to fly out to meet this dude, I think her heart would be broken if I told her. : Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)13:46:22 No.877826844 >>877826790 (OP) # Imao what a cuck kill her then kill yourself f-------

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Anon discovers things | /r/Greentext

>getting into piss fetish >tugging my gherkin looking at some sweet pee pee pron >see people drink piss >ThatsHawt.png >consider drinking it myself >f--- it 6 KB JPG >it's taste test time >wee in a cup >put that golden body liquor to my lips >tastes sweet >weird but nice >google sweet urine >find tons of sources saying that only happens because of diabeetus >OH F--- OH S--- OH F--- >mfw I have to go to the doctor to ask for a diabetes test and he asks me why I think I need it Wut do /b/? : Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)15:14:02 No.834801168 Fat f---, hope they cut off your feet
>getting into piss fetish >tugging my gherkin looking at some sweet pee pee pron >see people drink piss >ThatsHawt.png >consider drinking it myself >f--- it 6 KB JPG >it's taste test time >wee in a cup >put that golden body liquor to my lips >tastes sweet >weird but nice >google sweet urine >find tons of sources saying that only happens because of diabeetus >OH F--- OH S--- OH F--- >mfw I have to go to the doctor to ask for a diabetes test and he asks me why I think I need it Wut do /b/? : Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)15:14:02 No.834801168 Fat f---, hope they cut off your feet

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Trash Dogs For Trash People | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)09:47:01 No.877816235 >W-- is with people who love pit bulls. These people are all trash >Pit bulls are the official dogs of chunky girls who have daddy issues. >Also white girls who get pregnant with Tyrone's kid love their pit bull. >She gets Tyrone's name tattooed on her 152 KB JPG t--- and a pit bull. >You got some wannabe gangster with a pit bull in a spiked collar decorated with fake diamonds. He named it something like Tuffy or Bone Thug >Goddamned Cletus has a pit bull in his truck with a don't tread on me flag and a sticker of Calvin peeing in something >Then you've got the f------ pit bull activists who want to fight dog breed discrimination >Meanwhile s pit bull kills a kid and all the screeching chunky girls start screaming about his pit bulls are nanny dogs and the kid must have provoked it >Cletus and Tyrone are hopping around like chimps and hooting about how Tuffy could kill 10 kids >Pit bulls, trash dogs for trash people : Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)09:49:50 No.877816360 >>877816235 (OP) # this is all true
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)09:47:01 No.877816235 >W-- is with people who love pit bulls. These people are all trash >Pit bulls are the official dogs of chunky girls who have daddy issues. >Also white girls who get pregnant with Tyrone's kid love their pit bull. >She gets Tyrone's name tattooed on her 152 KB JPG t--- and a pit bull. >You got some wannabe gangster with a pit bull in a spiked collar decorated with fake diamonds. He named it something like Tuffy or Bone Thug >Goddamned Cletus has a pit bull in his truck with a don't tread on me flag and a sticker of Calvin peeing in something >Then you've got the f------ pit bull activists who want to fight dog breed discrimination >Meanwhile s pit bull kills a kid and all the screeching chunky girls start screaming about his pit bulls are nanny dogs and the kid must have provoked it >Cletus and Tyrone are hopping around like chimps and hooting about how Tuffy could kill 10 kids >Pit bulls, trash dogs for trash people : Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)09:49:50 No.877816360 >>877816235 (OP) # this is all true

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Anon loves Pyra | /r/Greentext

>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me
>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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