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Anon sits next to an Asian dude | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)12:23:48 No.64448454 >walk into first day of class >sit down next to some Chinese dude >sits there typing away on messenger on his laptop or whatever, typing in Chinese >suddenly turns and asks me and the other guys at the table what we think of our country's "aggressive" stance on the Chinese 25 KB JPG government, in stilted broken English >"haha I don't know I haven't really been paying attention haha" >nods >goes back to typing in Chinese >spends the whole class typing and not paying attention or contributing >doesn't show up to any future lessons Gee golly, I wonder what he could have been up to.
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)12:23:48 No.64448454 >walk into first day of class >sit down next to some Chinese dude >sits there typing away on messenger on his laptop or whatever, typing in Chinese >suddenly turns and asks me and the other guys at the table what we think of our country's "aggressive" stance on the Chinese 25 KB JPG government, in stilted broken English >"haha I don't know I haven't really been paying attention haha" >nods >goes back to typing in Chinese >spends the whole class typing and not paying attention or contributing >doesn't show up to any future lessons Gee golly, I wonder what he could have been up to.

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Anon is uncut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)07:49:53 No.877934108 >be me >be 4 >be uncircumcised >just found out that I can open my d--- by pulling back my foreskin >fascinated with it 70 KB JPG >randomly start pulling it out and opening it, but not in front of parents >ffw a week >great grandmother comes by >she and I are watching TV >whip out d--- and open it >she looks at me doing it >tells me without any anger or disgust that cockroaches can smell my opened d--- and might bite it >I get scared and put it back in my pants >I was already scared of cockroaches, but now im 10x more scared >ffw to now >never open d--- without a reason unless I want to masturbate >still don't know if cockroaches bite penises or not >Point is that great grandmom taught me a good lesson >Thank you great grandma jpg Remember anons, never whip out an uncircumcised d--- 8 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)08:10:22 No.877934770 >>877934108 (OP) # So my circumcised d--- is perfectly okay to whip out infront of grandma... got it.
: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)07:49:53 No.877934108 >be me >be 4 >be uncircumcised >just found out that I can open my d--- by pulling back my foreskin >fascinated with it 70 KB JPG >randomly start pulling it out and opening it, but not in front of parents >ffw a week >great grandmother comes by >she and I are watching TV >whip out d--- and open it >she looks at me doing it >tells me without any anger or disgust that cockroaches can smell my opened d--- and might bite it >I get scared and put it back in my pants >I was already scared of cockroaches, but now im 10x more scared >ffw to now >never open d--- without a reason unless I want to masturbate >still don't know if cockroaches bite penises or not >Point is that great grandmom taught me a good lesson >Thank you great grandma jpg Remember anons, never whip out an uncircumcised d--- 8 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)08:10:22 No.877934770 >>877934108 (OP) # So my circumcised d--- is perfectly okay to whip out infront of grandma... got it.

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Anon gets high | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/22(Wed)13:19:24 No.68093745 >be me >with a friend >We're both high as hell in LSD and 2C-B >My friend says "I'm going to my room i'll be back soon" 348 KB JPG >"ok" >*a minute passes* >"OH S--- HE'S KILLING HIMSELF" >l run to his room >l knock the door >"Man, are you killing yourself?" >"no bro i'm playing fallout new vegas"
: Anonymous 04/06/22(Wed)13:19:24 No.68093745 >be me >with a friend >We're both high as hell in LSD and 2C-B >My friend says "I'm going to my room i'll be back soon" 348 KB JPG >"ok" >*a minute passes* >"OH S--- HE'S KILLING HIMSELF" >l run to his room >l knock the door >"Man, are you killing yourself?" >"no bro i'm playing fallout new vegas"

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anon has found peace | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie >not obsessed with male hierarchy 136 KB JPG >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie >not obsessed with male hierarchy 136 KB JPG >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.

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Anon baits a trap | /r/Greentext

File: E0OFZMLVCAMV3NY.jpg_large.jpg (396 KB, 1857x2048) O Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)10:47:51 No.68575852 [Reply] >>68575875 >>68575912 >>68575978 >>68576024 >>68576146 >>68576291 >>68576338 >>68576376 >>68576629 >>68576729 >>68576754 >>68576765 >>68576949 >>68577013 >>68577577 >>68579368 >>68579388 >>68579393 >>68579528 >>68579672 >>68579761 >>68580008 >>68580170 >>68580218 Femanons why not just date ugly austistic incels who would never break your heart like chad? You could mould him into whatever you want. He'd worship the groumd you walk on. Even chad dates ugly women for that reason Showing all replies. O Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)10:50:05 No.68575875 >>68575916 >>68575852 (OP) >ugly austistic incels BEHOLD! Your answer!
File: E0OFZMLVCAMV3NY.jpg_large.jpg (396 KB, 1857x2048) O Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)10:47:51 No.68575852 [Reply] >>68575875 >>68575912 >>68575978 >>68576024 >>68576146 >>68576291 >>68576338 >>68576376 >>68576629 >>68576729 >>68576754 >>68576765 >>68576949 >>68577013 >>68577577 >>68579368 >>68579388 >>68579393 >>68579528 >>68579672 >>68579761 >>68580008 >>68580170 >>68580218 Femanons why not just date ugly austistic incels who would never break your heart like chad? You could mould him into whatever you want. He'd worship the groumd you walk on. Even chad dates ugly women for that reason Showing all replies. O Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)10:50:05 No.68575875 >>68575916 >>68575852 (OP) >ugly austistic incels BEHOLD! Your answer!

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Based pedo hunter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Jpy0pvu8 Unfathomably Based Thread 06/19/21(Sat)02:09:23 No.326552993 >trusted local man kidnaps his son >takes boy to motel and rapes him >the r----- gets caught by the cops >father goes to the local bars and find out when the r----- will be brought back to town 1.05 MB GIF >local guy who worked for media lets him know the time and place >arrives at the airport and waits for cops to arrive with r----- >live TV crews also at the scene >cops and r----- walking through airport >pulls out a pistol and shoots his son's r----- straight through the head, killing him with a single shot >father literally assassinates his son's r----- on live television (pic related) >gets arrested >local community unanimously decides he's not guilty of any crime and is a hero >goes to court >judge doesn't convict him, only gets 300 hours community service >carries on and lives his life as normal, and is forever regarded as a hero His name was Gary Plauché. Say his name /pol/.
: Anonymous (ID: Jpy0pvu8 Unfathomably Based Thread 06/19/21(Sat)02:09:23 No.326552993 >trusted local man kidnaps his son >takes boy to motel and rapes him >the r----- gets caught by the cops >father goes to the local bars and find out when the r----- will be brought back to town 1.05 MB GIF >local guy who worked for media lets him know the time and place >arrives at the airport and waits for cops to arrive with r----- >live TV crews also at the scene >cops and r----- walking through airport >pulls out a pistol and shoots his son's r----- straight through the head, killing him with a single shot >father literally assassinates his son's r----- on live television (pic related) >gets arrested >local community unanimously decides he's not guilty of any crime and is a hero >goes to court >judge doesn't convict him, only gets 300 hours community service >carries on and lives his life as normal, and is forever regarded as a hero His name was Gary Plauché. Say his name /pol/.

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Anon is gifted with darkness. | /r/Greentext

File: pepefroggie.jpg (41 KB, 538x438) O Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)22:40:43 No.877894902 >be me, deranged outcast >fantasize about the most disturbing s--- like. >capturing and r----- women and children >building a dedicated secret dungeon beneath my house >having generations of incestuous children >having them f----- by dogs >don't even know why I have this thoughts since I think its really horrible, and I could never do such a thing to anyone- it would just break my heart. Legit boners tho. >tell my best friend once >he instantly discards me >tells everyone at school about it >people stop interacting with me >notice that an awful lot of things go wrong >smashed in window one day >my bike demolished the other >one evening some thugs even beat me up, and I lost several teeth >life is s--- >even parents got to hear about it, ask me lf I wanna see a psychologist due to my "urges" >w-- never had any urges >moved away when I was finally able to >now living in another state >have a wife >have a sweet angel as daughter >still have those fantasies once in a while >write them down >wife finds them >asks me what those are >tell her its just snippets for a psycho thriller >she tells me it gives her the chills, so it is good writing
File: pepefroggie.jpg (41 KB, 538x438) O Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)22:40:43 No.877894902 >be me, deranged outcast >fantasize about the most disturbing s--- like. >capturing and r----- women and children >building a dedicated secret dungeon beneath my house >having generations of incestuous children >having them f----- by dogs >don't even know why I have this thoughts since I think its really horrible, and I could never do such a thing to anyone- it would just break my heart. Legit boners tho. >tell my best friend once >he instantly discards me >tells everyone at school about it >people stop interacting with me >notice that an awful lot of things go wrong >smashed in window one day >my bike demolished the other >one evening some thugs even beat me up, and I lost several teeth >life is s--- >even parents got to hear about it, ask me lf I wanna see a psychologist due to my "urges" >w-- never had any urges >moved away when I was finally able to >now living in another state >have a wife >have a sweet angel as daughter >still have those fantasies once in a while >write them down >wife finds them >asks me what those are >tell her its just snippets for a psycho thriller >she tells me it gives her the chills, so it is good writing

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon gets robbed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)07:56:54 No.877934316 Yo /b/ I've gotta go for a bit watch my milk for me 1.58 MB JPG 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)08:00:10 No.877934414 Gonna leave my jug of milk here, next to this guys glass 106 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)08:03:45 No.877934525 Too bad loser, I stole your calcium 55 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)07:56:54 No.877934316 Yo /b/ I've gotta go for a bit watch my milk for me 1.58 MB JPG 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)08:00:10 No.877934414 Gonna leave my jug of milk here, next to this guys glass 106 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)08:03:45 No.877934525 Too bad loser, I stole your calcium 55 KB JPG

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Anon is tougher than most | /r/Greentext

JOE t7u1uxv6y9f11.jpg 59 KB JPG >Look Joe, name one animal that could stand a chance against me 1v1. Silverback, tiger, rhino you name it. Get us in a ring and I will maul them to death. It's simple as that. ROGAN THEJ
JOE t7u1uxv6y9f11.jpg 59 KB JPG >Look Joe, name one animal that could stand a chance against me 1v1. Silverback, tiger, rhino you name it. Get us in a ring and I will maul them to death. It's simple as that. ROGAN THEJ

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Anon provides aid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:34:04 No.53485221 >President Anon, now that you signed the 33 billion dollar lend lease for Ukraine, what should we send them? 46 KB JPG 67 Replies / 20 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)18:50:34 No.53493844 >>53485221 (OP) # 10b worth of fuel 5b worth of food and medicine 5b worth of engineering equipment and supply trucks 8b worth of artillery and ammunition 5b worth of Patriots and ammunition : Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)19:59:25 No.53495083 132 million hi-point pistols
: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:34:04 No.53485221 >President Anon, now that you signed the 33 billion dollar lend lease for Ukraine, what should we send them? 46 KB JPG 67 Replies / 20 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)18:50:34 No.53493844 >>53485221 (OP) # 10b worth of fuel 5b worth of food and medicine 5b worth of engineering equipment and supply trucks 8b worth of artillery and ammunition 5b worth of Patriots and ammunition : Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)19:59:25 No.53495083 132 million hi-point pistols

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Anon stays safe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:00:38 No.68569308 Appreciation time. >be me >nervous driver >hate highways, always take back roads >driving at dusk, see car pulled to side of road >slow down to be careful 146 KB JPG >there are skid marks behind the car, looks to have hit a mailbox >car is empty, no one around >continue driving >see blond woman walking down road >slow down again to be careful >she notices me and stops walking >very pretty, looks my age >she gives me a thumbs up >feelsgoodman.exe >continue driving and make it home safe It's nice being appreciated. Here's a thumbs up to all of you.
Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:00:38 No.68569308 Appreciation time. >be me >nervous driver >hate highways, always take back roads >driving at dusk, see car pulled to side of road >slow down to be careful 146 KB JPG >there are skid marks behind the car, looks to have hit a mailbox >car is empty, no one around >continue driving >see blond woman walking down road >slow down again to be careful >she notices me and stops walking >very pretty, looks my age >she gives me a thumbs up >feelsgoodman.exe >continue driving and make it home safe It's nice being appreciated. Here's a thumbs up to all of you.

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Have secret fartwars with | /r/Greentext

>be in 8th grade >have secret fart wars with a guy from 7th grade >whenever we pass each other in school we would fart at each other when nobody was around or make slow movements like secret 41 KB JPG agents to fart unnoticed >we make more and more risky maneuvers trying to outfart each other >one day I see him alone standing in the middle of the school yard >sprint towards him, grab him by the jacket and let the most rancid foul fart blast out of my ass >stand there victorious and proud over his shallow husk >suddenly he bursts into tears of laughter >niggawhut? >turn around >headmistress was walking closeby and stands there starring at me with a face of shock and disgust >guy is literally rolling on the floor laughing >l panic and run away with tears in my eyes >this was the day i defeated myself in the fart wars Haven't farted since
>be in 8th grade >have secret fart wars with a guy from 7th grade >whenever we pass each other in school we would fart at each other when nobody was around or make slow movements like secret 41 KB JPG agents to fart unnoticed >we make more and more risky maneuvers trying to outfart each other >one day I see him alone standing in the middle of the school yard >sprint towards him, grab him by the jacket and let the most rancid foul fart blast out of my ass >stand there victorious and proud over his shallow husk >suddenly he bursts into tears of laughter >niggawhut? >turn around >headmistress was walking closeby and stands there starring at me with a face of shock and disgust >guy is literally rolling on the floor laughing >l panic and run away with tears in my eyes >this was the day i defeated myself in the fart wars Haven't farted since

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Anon has an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21 (Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/10/21 (Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG

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Cry another day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous mfw 05/10/22(Tue)07:45:59 No.68568693 >be me >been in depression for a year >not one day passed where i didn't feel like i wanted to die >wake up one day >think depression is cringe, decide not to be depressed 309 KB PNG anymore >mfw it didnt work
: Anonymous mfw 05/10/22(Tue)07:45:59 No.68568693 >be me >been in depression for a year >not one day passed where i didn't feel like i wanted to die >wake up one day >think depression is cringe, decide not to be depressed 309 KB PNG anymore >mfw it didnt work

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Mating season | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)21:01:04 No.68563997 CONSTAT >>68562922 (OP) # >18 >talk to furries on the internet >make friends with some girls who live in my state >we drive a few hours each to meet up and hang out at a theme 103 KB JPG park >one girl is super thirsty for me but l'm just not feeling it and the other girl (much cuter) has a boyfriend >we hang out a few more times at anime conventions >girl with boyfriend tells me one day that her boyfriend gave her permission to bang me (????) >we meet up at disney world and we bang in one of the resorts a few times >hella awkward, but kind of cute. no real regrets >girl dumps her boyfriend the next day and gets weird on me >wants to dress up like a pony and have me ride her and s--- >she lives 5 hours away and I'm not about to start driving 5 hours to see a weird girl thanks Sarah, it was fun
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)21:01:04 No.68563997 CONSTAT >>68562922 (OP) # >18 >talk to furries on the internet >make friends with some girls who live in my state >we drive a few hours each to meet up and hang out at a theme 103 KB JPG park >one girl is super thirsty for me but l'm just not feeling it and the other girl (much cuter) has a boyfriend >we hang out a few more times at anime conventions >girl with boyfriend tells me one day that her boyfriend gave her permission to bang me (????) >we meet up at disney world and we bang in one of the resorts a few times >hella awkward, but kind of cute. no real regrets >girl dumps her boyfriend the next day and gets weird on me >wants to dress up like a pony and have me ride her and s--- >she lives 5 hours away and I'm not about to start driving 5 hours to see a weird girl thanks Sarah, it was fun

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Anon discovers the truth | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to heaven. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:09:53 No.68580557 >be you >wake up in heaven >God looks at you and says >"alright, that last thing was quite based" >He opens the gates of heaven for 74 KB JPG you What did you do? Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:19:49 No.68580629 >>68580557 (OP). Killed myself probably
Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:09:53 No.68580557 >be you >wake up in heaven >God looks at you and says >"alright, that last thing was quite based" >He opens the gates of heaven for 74 KB JPG you What did you do? Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:19:49 No.68580629 >>68580557 (OP). Killed myself probably

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Anon thanks Lord Todd | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd

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Anon eats food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)14:59:45 No.95661009 PEP ouPlee ttvettet IMAGO052.jpg 1016 KB JPG What should I watch, boys? : Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)15:00:21 No.95661032 your weight >>95661071 # >>95661160 # >>95661164 # >>95661211 # >>95661217 # >>95661236 # >>95661273 # >>95661314 # >>95661386 # >>95661496 # >>95661551 # >>95661845 #
: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)14:59:45 No.95661009 PEP ouPlee ttvettet IMAGO052.jpg 1016 KB JPG What should I watch, boys? : Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)15:00:21 No.95661032 your weight >>95661071 # >>95661160 # >>95661164 # >>95661211 # >>95661217 # >>95661236 # >>95661273 # >>95661314 # >>95661386 # >>95661496 # >>95661551 # >>95661845 #

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