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Anon is tougher than most | /r/Greentext

JOE t7u1uxv6y9f11.jpg 59 KB JPG >Look Joe, name one animal that could stand a chance against me 1v1. Silverback, tiger, rhino you name it. Get us in a ring and I will maul them to death. It's simple as that. ROGAN THEJ
JOE t7u1uxv6y9f11.jpg 59 KB JPG >Look Joe, name one animal that could stand a chance against me 1v1. Silverback, tiger, rhino you name it. Get us in a ring and I will maul them to death. It's simple as that. ROGAN THEJ

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Anon provides aid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:34:04 No.53485221 >President Anon, now that you signed the 33 billion dollar lend lease for Ukraine, what should we send them? 46 KB JPG 67 Replies / 20 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)18:50:34 No.53493844 >>53485221 (OP) # 10b worth of fuel 5b worth of food and medicine 5b worth of engineering equipment and supply trucks 8b worth of artillery and ammunition 5b worth of Patriots and ammunition : Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)19:59:25 No.53495083 132 million hi-point pistols
: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:34:04 No.53485221 >President Anon, now that you signed the 33 billion dollar lend lease for Ukraine, what should we send them? 46 KB JPG 67 Replies / 20 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)18:50:34 No.53493844 >>53485221 (OP) # 10b worth of fuel 5b worth of food and medicine 5b worth of engineering equipment and supply trucks 8b worth of artillery and ammunition 5b worth of Patriots and ammunition : Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)19:59:25 No.53495083 132 million hi-point pistols

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Anon stays safe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:00:38 No.68569308 Appreciation time. >be me >nervous driver >hate highways, always take back roads >driving at dusk, see car pulled to side of road >slow down to be careful 146 KB JPG >there are skid marks behind the car, looks to have hit a mailbox >car is empty, no one around >continue driving >see blond woman walking down road >slow down again to be careful >she notices me and stops walking >very pretty, looks my age >she gives me a thumbs up >feelsgoodman.exe >continue driving and make it home safe It's nice being appreciated. Here's a thumbs up to all of you.
Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:00:38 No.68569308 Appreciation time. >be me >nervous driver >hate highways, always take back roads >driving at dusk, see car pulled to side of road >slow down to be careful 146 KB JPG >there are skid marks behind the car, looks to have hit a mailbox >car is empty, no one around >continue driving >see blond woman walking down road >slow down again to be careful >she notices me and stops walking >very pretty, looks my age >she gives me a thumbs up >feelsgoodman.exe >continue driving and make it home safe It's nice being appreciated. Here's a thumbs up to all of you.

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Have secret fartwars with | /r/Greentext

>be in 8th grade >have secret fart wars with a guy from 7th grade >whenever we pass each other in school we would fart at each other when nobody was around or make slow movements like secret 41 KB JPG agents to fart unnoticed >we make more and more risky maneuvers trying to outfart each other >one day I see him alone standing in the middle of the school yard >sprint towards him, grab him by the jacket and let the most rancid foul fart blast out of my ass >stand there victorious and proud over his shallow husk >suddenly he bursts into tears of laughter >niggawhut? >turn around >headmistress was walking closeby and stands there starring at me with a face of shock and disgust >guy is literally rolling on the floor laughing >l panic and run away with tears in my eyes >this was the day i defeated myself in the fart wars Haven't farted since
>be in 8th grade >have secret fart wars with a guy from 7th grade >whenever we pass each other in school we would fart at each other when nobody was around or make slow movements like secret 41 KB JPG agents to fart unnoticed >we make more and more risky maneuvers trying to outfart each other >one day I see him alone standing in the middle of the school yard >sprint towards him, grab him by the jacket and let the most rancid foul fart blast out of my ass >stand there victorious and proud over his shallow husk >suddenly he bursts into tears of laughter >niggawhut? >turn around >headmistress was walking closeby and stands there starring at me with a face of shock and disgust >guy is literally rolling on the floor laughing >l panic and run away with tears in my eyes >this was the day i defeated myself in the fart wars Haven't farted since

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Anon has an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21 (Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/10/21 (Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG

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Cry another day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous mfw 05/10/22(Tue)07:45:59 No.68568693 >be me >been in depression for a year >not one day passed where i didn't feel like i wanted to die >wake up one day >think depression is cringe, decide not to be depressed 309 KB PNG anymore >mfw it didnt work
: Anonymous mfw 05/10/22(Tue)07:45:59 No.68568693 >be me >been in depression for a year >not one day passed where i didn't feel like i wanted to die >wake up one day >think depression is cringe, decide not to be depressed 309 KB PNG anymore >mfw it didnt work

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Mating season | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)21:01:04 No.68563997 CONSTAT >>68562922 (OP) # >18 >talk to furries on the internet >make friends with some girls who live in my state >we drive a few hours each to meet up and hang out at a theme 103 KB JPG park >one girl is super thirsty for me but l'm just not feeling it and the other girl (much cuter) has a boyfriend >we hang out a few more times at anime conventions >girl with boyfriend tells me one day that her boyfriend gave her permission to bang me (????) >we meet up at disney world and we bang in one of the resorts a few times >hella awkward, but kind of cute. no real regrets >girl dumps her boyfriend the next day and gets weird on me >wants to dress up like a pony and have me ride her and s--- >she lives 5 hours away and I'm not about to start driving 5 hours to see a weird girl thanks Sarah, it was fun
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)21:01:04 No.68563997 CONSTAT >>68562922 (OP) # >18 >talk to furries on the internet >make friends with some girls who live in my state >we drive a few hours each to meet up and hang out at a theme 103 KB JPG park >one girl is super thirsty for me but l'm just not feeling it and the other girl (much cuter) has a boyfriend >we hang out a few more times at anime conventions >girl with boyfriend tells me one day that her boyfriend gave her permission to bang me (????) >we meet up at disney world and we bang in one of the resorts a few times >hella awkward, but kind of cute. no real regrets >girl dumps her boyfriend the next day and gets weird on me >wants to dress up like a pony and have me ride her and s--- >she lives 5 hours away and I'm not about to start driving 5 hours to see a weird girl thanks Sarah, it was fun

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Anon discovers the truth | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to heaven. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:09:53 No.68580557 >be you >wake up in heaven >God looks at you and says >"alright, that last thing was quite based" >He opens the gates of heaven for 74 KB JPG you What did you do? Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:19:49 No.68580629 >>68580557 (OP). Killed myself probably
Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:09:53 No.68580557 >be you >wake up in heaven >God looks at you and says >"alright, that last thing was quite based" >He opens the gates of heaven for 74 KB JPG you What did you do? Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:19:49 No.68580629 >>68580557 (OP). Killed myself probably

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Anon thanks Lord Todd | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd

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Anon eats food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)14:59:45 No.95661009 PEP ouPlee ttvettet IMAGO052.jpg 1016 KB JPG What should I watch, boys? : Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)15:00:21 No.95661032 your weight >>95661071 # >>95661160 # >>95661164 # >>95661211 # >>95661217 # >>95661236 # >>95661273 # >>95661314 # >>95661386 # >>95661496 # >>95661551 # >>95661845 #
: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)14:59:45 No.95661009 PEP ouPlee ttvettet IMAGO052.jpg 1016 KB JPG What should I watch, boys? : Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)15:00:21 No.95661032 your weight >>95661071 # >>95661160 # >>95661164 # >>95661211 # >>95661217 # >>95661236 # >>95661273 # >>95661314 # >>95661386 # >>95661496 # >>95661551 # >>95661845 #

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Bruh Bruh Bruh | /r/Greentext

File: aladdin-920x584.png (595 KB, 920x584) Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:06 No.79985177 Genie: "What are your 3 wishes?" Me: "Make every word 4 letters long." Geni: "Wish gran." Meee: "Make ever word star with 'br." Brni: "Brsh bran." Bree: "Brke brer brrd brar brdd brth 'uh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." >> Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:37 No.799851809 >>799851773 (OP) I wish that OP would die in 10,000 fires.
File: aladdin-920x584.png (595 KB, 920x584) Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:06 No.79985177 Genie: "What are your 3 wishes?" Me: "Make every word 4 letters long." Geni: "Wish gran." Meee: "Make ever word star with 'br." Brni: "Brsh bran." Bree: "Brke brer brrd brar brdd brth 'uh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." >> Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:37 No.799851809 >>799851773 (OP) I wish that OP would die in 10,000 fires.

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Anon works for del taco | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)16:13:32 No.877899738 >be me >Social media manager for del taco >Pretty chill for years, just post pics of food and promote our new burritos n s--- >One day on Twitter a meme account pulls up begging to bring back some obscure menu item that left stores 540 KB JPG years ago, the orange shake >The account has more followers than me, all of them beg for the shake Everytime I tweet and I have to ignore every reply purposely >The comments are literally overshadowing my tweets, can't do anything about it >lt spreads to Instagram, everyone coming at me begging for this menu item I've never even heard of >lt goes for months before they finally stop, I kinda feel bad that I couldn't do anything about it >I hope they get their orange shake
: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)16:13:32 No.877899738 >be me >Social media manager for del taco >Pretty chill for years, just post pics of food and promote our new burritos n s--- >One day on Twitter a meme account pulls up begging to bring back some obscure menu item that left stores 540 KB JPG years ago, the orange shake >The account has more followers than me, all of them beg for the shake Everytime I tweet and I have to ignore every reply purposely >The comments are literally overshadowing my tweets, can't do anything about it >lt spreads to Instagram, everyone coming at me begging for this menu item I've never even heard of >lt goes for months before they finally stop, I kinda feel bad that I couldn't do anything about it >I hope they get their orange shake

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Anon is a retard savant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros 27 KB JPG >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros 27 KB JPG >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?

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Anon wishes things were different | /r/Greentext

|i Want My Foreskin Back Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)20:48:38 No.66 >>66715874 >out of the trillions of men to walk this earth >in countless nations and ages >l am among the small minority of men to have the tip of their d--- cut off >all because I happened to be born in Burgerland post-WWII Why the f--- did my parents do this to me? It's not f------ fair. Out of 4 billion men, only a third are circumcucked. Why me? Why did it have to be me?
|i Want My Foreskin Back Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)20:48:38 No.66 >>66715874 >out of the trillions of men to walk this earth >in countless nations and ages >l am among the small minority of men to have the tip of their d--- cut off >all because I happened to be born in Burgerland post-WWII Why the f--- did my parents do this to me? It's not f------ fair. Out of 4 billion men, only a third are circumcucked. Why me? Why did it have to be me?

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Anon tries the loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988 file.png 75 KB PNG >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes >engine explodes shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 #
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988 file.png 75 KB PNG >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes >engine explodes shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 #

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Fat anon meets a nice Gymbro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:27:08 No.66716507 >>66716346 # >I wanted to turn my life around after peaking my weight at 180kg >went to the local gym paid for the special weight lose program >around 520$ per month for 3- 325 KB PNG months >got told to go to the aerobics class >went there and a trainer came in and started telling us what to do as warm ups >walking, stretching and such >being a fat f--- I couldn't even last 3min before sitting a side fighting for air >they start knee raising >gymbro was watching from the side >he came to me and asked when did I join >told him that i just did >told me to pick my things up and follow him >told me that i wouldn't last and would drop out soon or injure myself trying >told me that I should start by just walking outside, no need for a gym now bc any activity would give me results at my weight >went down to the manger's office and took my card >he went in for a while and came back with cash >signed some papers >went outside the gym and gave me his phone number >told me to lose as much weight i can by walking and doing basic workouts >and whenever i feel that i can join back he'll give me a discount >deal It was weird but thanks to him I saved lots of money >>66716649 # >>66718231 #
: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:27:08 No.66716507 >>66716346 # >I wanted to turn my life around after peaking my weight at 180kg >went to the local gym paid for the special weight lose program >around 520$ per month for 3- 325 KB PNG months >got told to go to the aerobics class >went there and a trainer came in and started telling us what to do as warm ups >walking, stretching and such >being a fat f--- I couldn't even last 3min before sitting a side fighting for air >they start knee raising >gymbro was watching from the side >he came to me and asked when did I join >told him that i just did >told me to pick my things up and follow him >told me that i wouldn't last and would drop out soon or injure myself trying >told me that I should start by just walking outside, no need for a gym now bc any activity would give me results at my weight >went down to the manger's office and took my card >he went in for a while and came back with cash >signed some papers >went outside the gym and gave me his phone number >told me to lose as much weight i can by walking and doing basic workouts >and whenever i feel that i can join back he'll give me a discount >deal It was weird but thanks to him I saved lots of money >>66716649 # >>66718231 #

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Anon is a coffee addict | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)02:24:03 No.68576232 >drank 2 liters of coffee >vision starts to be VHS quality How much time do i have left? 152 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)02:24:03 No.68576232 >drank 2 liters of coffee >vision starts to be VHS quality How much time do i have left? 152 KB JPG

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Anon finds gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)22:19:00 No.66508853 >be me >23 >never had a gf before >decide to put into plan a basic idea I had years ago 48 KB JPG >only go after fat girls >spend a lot of time looking at very good looking women online who used to be fat >can now tell easily whether a fat woman would be very attractive if she lost the weight >fat girls are easier to date, they're most of my tinder matches, they're the ones who react the most positively to cold approaching >find a literal 10/10 a---- goddess but she's tall and fat, looks like s--- but you can tell there's potential under all that fat >ask her out and she says yes, very enthusiastic about it, have very pleasant date >lose my virginity to her, she was also a virgin (something i found to be very common among fat girls compared to other girls) >talk her into starting to go to the gym with me, first phase >then talk her into changing her diet, second phase >in a few months she loses most of the weight >now i have an extremely loyal and loving 10/10 gf who I'm probably going to marry >mfw i beat the game Tbf my stats aren't that bad and I'm definitely not Chad material.
: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)22:19:00 No.66508853 >be me >23 >never had a gf before >decide to put into plan a basic idea I had years ago 48 KB JPG >only go after fat girls >spend a lot of time looking at very good looking women online who used to be fat >can now tell easily whether a fat woman would be very attractive if she lost the weight >fat girls are easier to date, they're most of my tinder matches, they're the ones who react the most positively to cold approaching >find a literal 10/10 a---- goddess but she's tall and fat, looks like s--- but you can tell there's potential under all that fat >ask her out and she says yes, very enthusiastic about it, have very pleasant date >lose my virginity to her, she was also a virgin (something i found to be very common among fat girls compared to other girls) >talk her into starting to go to the gym with me, first phase >then talk her into changing her diet, second phase >in a few months she loses most of the weight >now i have an extremely loyal and loving 10/10 gf who I'm probably going to marry >mfw i beat the game Tbf my stats aren't that bad and I'm definitely not Chad material.

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anxiety hits anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/17(Fri)22:37:33 No.722793470 The day i figured out i had autism. >Be me >At the mall with my girlfriend (atm im a f------ normie) 41 KB JPG >Day is going p good >Suddenly gf sees a group of her friends >"Anon, come meet my friends!!" >ohno.jpg >anxiety builds up >dont wanna go out like this so i go with her to talk to her friends >spend a good five minutes standing in a circle with gf and her friends >l have not said a f------ word >Open my mouth to speak >Autism = activate >l start doing finger guns >"Hey guys, do you like things? I like things." >... >In the midst of the awkward silence my brain goes like "ayyo, dawg, ask em what they favorite type of milk is" >Ask them what they're favorite type of milk is >Awkward Silence 2, Electric Boogaloo >Make up excuse to go to the bathroom >Mfw in the stalls
: Anonymous 02/17/17(Fri)22:37:33 No.722793470 The day i figured out i had autism. >Be me >At the mall with my girlfriend (atm im a f------ normie) 41 KB JPG >Day is going p good >Suddenly gf sees a group of her friends >"Anon, come meet my friends!!" >ohno.jpg >anxiety builds up >dont wanna go out like this so i go with her to talk to her friends >spend a good five minutes standing in a circle with gf and her friends >l have not said a f------ word >Open my mouth to speak >Autism = activate >l start doing finger guns >"Hey guys, do you like things? I like things." >... >In the midst of the awkward silence my brain goes like "ayyo, dawg, ask em what they favorite type of milk is" >Ask them what they're favorite type of milk is >Awkward Silence 2, Electric Boogaloo >Make up excuse to go to the bathroom >Mfw in the stalls

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