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Anon is smarter than the average american | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)18:58:09 No.877499651 >Seen IKEA difficult assembly memes >Order several pieces of furniture over three weeks. >No missing pieces >No confusing assembly, no troubles assembling what so ever. 66 KB JPG Are Americans just retarded? Cim

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)18:58:09 No.877499651 >Seen IKEA difficult assembly memes >Order several pieces of furniture over three weeks. >No missing pieces >No confusing assembly, no troubles assembling what so ever. 66 KB JPG Are Americans just retarded? Cim

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Anon dislikes Ronald Reagan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (hoHpU9ij ) Reagan sucked ass 05/14/22(Sat)00:43:12 No.377537770 >be Ronald Reagan >fund the Contras who ran paramilitary death squads in Nicaragua >turn a blind eye to them smuggling some cocaine into the U.S 25 KB JPG >enact harsh penalties for people who started using crack cocaine that the CIA-backed guys were bringing in >(poor blacks in urban areas were disproportionately targeted by these laws) >don't do s--- about AIDS when it became an issue around 1982, and don't even mention AIDS publicly until 1985 >do Reaganomics which f----- over a lot of poor Americans >give a bunch of money and weapons to Mujahideen fighters in Afghanistan, who would later help create the Taliban & other terrorist groups >he also may or may not have had Alzheimer's while he was still in office >still win both elections in a landslide, & manage to be one of the most popular Presidents ever

: Anonymous (ID: (hoHpU9ij ) Reagan sucked ass 05/14/22(Sat)00:43:12 No.377537770 >be Ronald Reagan >fund the Contras who ran paramilitary death squads in Nicaragua >turn a blind eye to them smuggling some cocaine into the U.S 25 KB JPG >enact harsh penalties for people who started using crack cocaine that the CIA-backed guys were bringing in >(poor blacks in urban areas were disproportionately targeted by these laws) >don't do s--- about AIDS when it became an issue around 1982, and don't even mention AIDS publicly until 1985 >do Reaganomics which f----- over a lot of poor Americans >give a bunch of money and weapons to Mujahideen fighters in Afghanistan, who would later help create the Taliban & other terrorist groups >he also may or may not have had Alzheimer's while he was still in office >still win both elections in a landslide, & manage to be one of the most popular Presidents ever

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Anon’s friend is a pain in the neck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)20:50:44 No.514564416 >Be in 7th >Friend can crack his neck real loud and can turn his head completely sideways >Have a sub during choir >We think it would be funny if he made it look like he snapped his own neck >In between songs he screams out "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" >Proceeds to make the loudest crack ive ever heard >Falls to the ground >The sub screams and runs out the door >lols were had He then hid in a storage closet and was suspended

Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)20:50:44 No.514564416 >Be in 7th >Friend can crack his neck real loud and can turn his head completely sideways >Have a sub during choir >We think it would be funny if he made it look like he snapped his own neck >In between songs he screams out "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" >Proceeds to make the loudest crack ive ever heard >Falls to the ground >The sub screams and runs out the door >lols were had He then hid in a storage closet and was suspended

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Anone almost tells person to have a seat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8/29/2019 (Thu)09:19:45 No.852672830 > Be me circa 2008 (forgettable year) > be 14 yo girl at the time > friends and I are bored watching Dateline NBC wat >getidea.ogg 9 KB JPG >decide to go into chatrooms to lure in old creepy guys who want underrage girls >ffw to one week after when friend's parents aren't home >lure a 55 year old man to our house >forgot to mention that friend's dad owns a small print shop >print out life sized cardboard cut out of Chris Hansen and leave in the doorway >Old dude opens the door and f------ gets scared shitless and sprints away >mwf i realize how absolutely f------ stupid we were and how we could have been murdered or worse r----

: Anonymous 8/29/2019 (Thu)09:19:45 No.852672830 > Be me circa 2008 (forgettable year) > be 14 yo girl at the time > friends and I are bored watching Dateline NBC wat >getidea.ogg 9 KB JPG >decide to go into chatrooms to lure in old creepy guys who want underrage girls >ffw to one week after when friend's parents aren't home >lure a 55 year old man to our house >forgot to mention that friend's dad owns a small print shop >print out life sized cardboard cut out of Chris Hansen and leave in the doorway >Old dude opens the door and f------ gets scared shitless and sprints away >mwf i realize how absolutely f------ stupid we were and how we could have been murdered or worse r----

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warning: idiots in commentsAnon does his PhD | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/18(Fri)21:43:18 No.10178727 >be G >doing a PhD >one day a trans girl student from one of my classes comes to my office >says she wants to work with me and my PhD supervisor as an 5 KB JPG undergrad >ask her some questions to gauge her level >pretty keen and capable, good >ask her to prove that the fundamental group of the quotient space X/G is G itself if its action on the simply connected space X is free and transitive >she freezes up >ok, ask her instead to prove that two curves on a manifold have trivial tangent spaces at a point iff they intersect transversally >her face flushes red, as if she's on the brink of tears >uh oh, let's try something easier >ask her to prove that ever permutation can be uniquely decomposed into a product of transpositions >she bursts out my office crying >w-- >days later got called into the department office and got chewed out for being transphobic and that l'll have my PhD grant revoked if this happens again >mfw

: Anonymous 11/30/18(Fri)21:43:18 No.10178727 >be G >doing a PhD >one day a trans girl student from one of my classes comes to my office >says she wants to work with me and my PhD supervisor as an 5 KB JPG undergrad >ask her some questions to gauge her level >pretty keen and capable, good >ask her to prove that the fundamental group of the quotient space X/G is G itself if its action on the simply connected space X is free and transitive >she freezes up >ok, ask her instead to prove that two curves on a manifold have trivial tangent spaces at a point iff they intersect transversally >her face flushes red, as if she's on the brink of tears >uh oh, let's try something easier >ask her to prove that ever permutation can be uniquely decomposed into a product of transpositions >she bursts out my office crying >w-- >days later got called into the department office and got chewed out for being transphobic and that l'll have my PhD grant revoked if this happens again >mfw

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Anon is a kid in the 90's. | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (131 KB, 248x203) 0000 Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)07:53:10 No.50432682 [Reply] >AAAAAAARGH THE HIGH PITCHED FREQUENCIES! IT'S REWRITING MY BRAIN!! >l'M GOING TO F------ KILL MYSELF I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMOREEEE

File: file.png (131 KB, 248x203) 0000 Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)07:53:10 No.50432682 [Reply] >AAAAAAARGH THE HIGH PITCHED FREQUENCIES! IT'S REWRITING MY BRAIN!! >l'M GOING TO F------ KILL MYSELF I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMOREEEE

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Damn evil genius | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: V+cdTMB1) 11/11/14(Tue)05:49:31 No.578820617 File: Screen Shot 2014-11-11 at.).png (179 KB, 310x294) > be me at age 8 > always hung out around woods by playground where i grew up > thought i was too cool for the playground > one day decide to "booby-trap" the playground's sandbox BA > dig 3' diameter hole to bottom of sand > gather epic trap supplies from woods > lay near perfectly-spaced grid of long, thin sticks on top of hole > weave giant fern leaves on top of sticks > delicately cover with sand again > mymasterpiece.jpg > hang out on swing, waiting for victims > get impatient and go home > go to playground next day > group of mom's circling my now broken trap > one of their young has fallen in. victory is mine > hear them say "a child couldn't have done this" > "must have been some loser teenagers" > realize i'm a god damn evil genius at the age of 8 > mfw

Anonymous (ID: V+cdTMB1) 11/11/14(Tue)05:49:31 No.578820617 File: Screen Shot 2014-11-11 at.).png (179 KB, 310x294) > be me at age 8 > always hung out around woods by playground where i grew up > thought i was too cool for the playground > one day decide to "booby-trap" the playground's sandbox BA > dig 3' diameter hole to bottom of sand > gather epic trap supplies from woods > lay near perfectly-spaced grid of long, thin sticks on top of hole > weave giant fern leaves on top of sticks > delicately cover with sand again > mymasterpiece.jpg > hang out on swing, waiting for victims > get impatient and go home > go to playground next day > group of mom's circling my now broken trap > one of their young has fallen in. victory is mine > hear them say "a child couldn't have done this" > "must have been some loser teenagers" > realize i'm a god damn evil genius at the age of 8 > mfw

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Anon is ROOT | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)01:14:26 No.878090014 All I have ever wanted from a yogurt is to know who the cows are. BERLE The Cows: Myrtle Letty Root Irma COWN YOGU Fanny Julia Veronica Padma Lucy certified european style light tasting O 1,672 t764.9K 569K [esk, Roza @StRoseCherry 23h Notice how they named all the cows traditionally girl names. There is a deep connection between misogyny and consuming animals. 218 27551 307 Connor Bax D @bax_connor Replying to @StRoseCherry and @_Jen_Silverman I feel like yogurt from a bull wouldnt taste quite right. 1612279528636.jpg 62 KB JPG >>878090167 # >>878112036 # >>878112172 # Anonymous05/14/22(Sat)01:16:46 No.878090167 CHE O-0 3090054 >>878090014 # >traditionally girly names >Root >L AM ROOT 44 KB JPG

: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)01:14:26 No.878090014 All I have ever wanted from a yogurt is to know who the cows are. BERLE The Cows: Myrtle Letty Root Irma COWN YOGU Fanny Julia Veronica Padma Lucy certified european style light tasting O 1,672 t764.9K 569K [esk, Roza @StRoseCherry 23h Notice how they named all the cows traditionally girl names. There is a deep connection between misogyny and consuming animals. 218 27551 307 Connor Bax D @bax_connor Replying to @StRoseCherry and @_Jen_Silverman I feel like yogurt from a bull wouldnt taste quite right. 1612279528636.jpg 62 KB JPG >>878090167 # >>878112036 # >>878112172 # Anonymous05/14/22(Sat)01:16:46 No.878090167 CHE O-0 3090054 >>878090014 # >traditionally girly names >Root >L AM ROOT 44 KB JPG

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Anon has a creepypasta moment | /r/Greentext

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/vp/ anon is straight | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:38:04 No.50424725 ► >50424802 File: transparent oguro.png (1018 KB, 906x1357) >>50423851 (OP). I wish I was gay so I could fap to raihan. >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:54:02 No.50424802 ► >50424815 >>50424725 Why can't you do it now? >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:57:15 No.50424815 ► File: kotoura_ dont.png (797 KB, 935x1220) DON'T >>50424802 because I'm not gay. Can't you read?

>> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:38:04 No.50424725 ► >50424802 File: transparent oguro.png (1018 KB, 906x1357) >>50423851 (OP). I wish I was gay so I could fap to raihan. >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:54:02 No.50424802 ► >50424815 >>50424725 Why can't you do it now? >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:57:15 No.50424815 ► File: kotoura_ dont.png (797 KB, 935x1220) DON'T >>50424802 because I'm not gay. Can't you read?

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Anon wants funny videos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:29:55 No.878106815 >be me >finally get tiktok >start scrolling >see some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life >realize l'll never meet any of them and even if i did i wouldnt have a chance >put my phone down and stare at ceiling for an hour thinking about how much of my life l've wasted 9 KB JPG what the hell i just wanted to watch some funny videos : Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:31:07 No.878106876 >>878106815 (OP) # Yes, social media is harmful.

: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:29:55 No.878106815 >be me >finally get tiktok >start scrolling >see some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life >realize l'll never meet any of them and even if i did i wouldnt have a chance >put my phone down and stare at ceiling for an hour thinking about how much of my life l've wasted 9 KB JPG what the hell i just wanted to watch some funny videos : Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:31:07 No.878106876 >>878106815 (OP) # Yes, social media is harmful.

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Because you're autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:39:25 No.874856366 I can't stop acting like I'm in a dark movie. >Cousin talks to me >Eventually asks me the question "what did you lose?" 69 KB JPG >Whisper "Everything" with a dead stare >Meet this one chick >We talk >She tells me a joke >I whisper "That's funny" with a dead stare and no emotion : Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:58:59 No.874857421 The movie must be Rain Man because you're autistic. >>874857470 # >>874857927 #

: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:39:25 No.874856366 I can't stop acting like I'm in a dark movie. >Cousin talks to me >Eventually asks me the question "what did you lose?" 69 KB JPG >Whisper "Everything" with a dead stare >Meet this one chick >We talk >She tells me a joke >I whisper "That's funny" with a dead stare and no emotion : Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:58:59 No.874857421 The movie must be Rain Man because you're autistic. >>874857470 # >>874857927 #

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Anon suffers a heartbreak | /r/Greentext

O l just can't stop thinking about it Anonymous (ID: pk1kFdVg) 05/14/22(Sat)02:56:04 No.15203622 [Reply] > >>15203629 >be me >be 12 years old >have a 2 week old kitten >build up a long and loving friendship with the cat >*1 year later" >*cat has kittens* >be really happy >*5 days later >see that the kittens aren't in their small house I built for them ( it was big enough for all 3 of them to fit ) >notices that she put them somewhere near my window ( Its not high, so they cant be hurt by falling ) >*30 minutes later* >hear loud high pitched meowing near window >see that a bird saw the kittens and started pecking them >immediately scared off the bird >went outside to see if anything worse happened >see that 2 are already dead and one is meowing in pain with blood in its mouth >try to help in some way >*kitten dies in hands* >*cries myself to sleep* I wish I could of helped sooner :'(

O l just can't stop thinking about it Anonymous (ID: pk1kFdVg) 05/14/22(Sat)02:56:04 No.15203622 [Reply] > >>15203629 >be me >be 12 years old >have a 2 week old kitten >build up a long and loving friendship with the cat >*1 year later" >*cat has kittens* >be really happy >*5 days later >see that the kittens aren't in their small house I built for them ( it was big enough for all 3 of them to fit ) >notices that she put them somewhere near my window ( Its not high, so they cant be hurt by falling ) >*30 minutes later* >hear loud high pitched meowing near window >see that a bird saw the kittens and started pecking them >immediately scared off the bird >went outside to see if anything worse happened >see that 2 are already dead and one is meowing in pain with blood in its mouth >try to help in some way >*kitten dies in hands* >*cries myself to sleep* I wish I could of helped sooner :'(

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Anon cannot top | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)15:30:42 No.65731923 >Make dating app account >Heterosexual, show to women >3 likes, no matches in a week >Disappointed by curious, switch to males >70 likes in an 2 hours 345 KB PNG There was nothing wrong with me, female standards became so insane they beyond self- parody right now.

: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)15:30:42 No.65731923 >Make dating app account >Heterosexual, show to women >3 likes, no matches in a week >Disappointed by curious, switch to males >70 likes in an 2 hours 345 KB PNG There was nothing wrong with me, female standards became so insane they beyond self- parody right now.

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Anon has no clue | /r/Greentext

>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon wants to design bullets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)17:02:41 No.48737157 00CK ED3AB93C-E048-41E1-83A6-5C1349434A8F.png 470 KB PNG >bruh what if we made bullets that were like...double bullets? >and let's put a big badass fin on it >yeah but the fin should have speed holes god I wish I was a military gun designer in the 80s/90s and got paid to come up with tardprojects

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)17:02:41 No.48737157 00CK ED3AB93C-E048-41E1-83A6-5C1349434A8F.png 470 KB PNG >bruh what if we made bullets that were like...double bullets? >and let's put a big badass fin on it >yeah but the fin should have speed holes god I wish I was a military gun designer in the 80s/90s and got paid to come up with tardprojects

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thirsty dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:14:07 No.4142940 676677.jpg 26 KB JPG *ahem* Everyone, I have an announcement to make. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:14:48 No.4142941 7687878.png 183 KB PNG *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop*

: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:14:07 No.4142940 676677.jpg 26 KB JPG *ahem* Everyone, I have an announcement to make. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:14:48 No.4142941 7687878.png 183 KB PNG *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop*

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anon goes on a band trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)11:59:14 No.878073460 mpxgshrh0v811.jpg| 43 KB JPG >riding school bus on a band trip >Friend and I are playing the s----- meme band music >Bus driver gives us Bluetooth access kek >Decide to play the ram ranch clean version off YouTube >Literally laughing my ass off as the intro plays, students are all blushing hard in embarrassment >Lyrics start, giant collective thank God >Everyone laughs Pic related >Bus rear ends someone

: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)11:59:14 No.878073460 mpxgshrh0v811.jpg| 43 KB JPG >riding school bus on a band trip >Friend and I are playing the s----- meme band music >Bus driver gives us Bluetooth access kek >Decide to play the ram ranch clean version off YouTube >Literally laughing my ass off as the intro plays, students are all blushing hard in embarrassment >Lyrics start, giant collective thank God >Everyone laughs Pic related >Bus rear ends someone

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anon experiences freedom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/17(Mon)18:27:00 No.746910916 >be american >go to elementary school >get shot >go to high school >get shot >go to university >get shot 57 KB JPG >go to work >get shot >join the national guard >get shot >go to watch my favourite movie >get shot >go to see my favourite country singer >get shot god bless the constitutions View Thread

: Anonymous 10/02/17(Mon)18:27:00 No.746910916 >be american >go to elementary school >get shot >go to high school >get shot >go to university >get shot 57 KB JPG >go to work >get shot >join the national guard >get shot >go to watch my favourite movie >get shot >go to see my favourite country singer >get shot god bless the constitutions View Thread

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Anon makes a bad argument. | /r/Greentext

25 MSNBC EST. 1996 This is who we are. TUCH RLSON TONIGHT 5A7A17E2-3710-4C87-8651-BE31A75D0BDD.jpg 116 KB JPG >>68614844 # >what if I showed you a picture of 15 year old me beating off to 25 year old pornographic actress >you'd say that perfectly fine >it's 'normal' for a boy of that age >you might even say I have a nice penis >and you'd be right >now what if footage emerged of 25 year old me beating off to pictures of a 15 year old Ukrainian girl i'd solicited via discord/twitter >liberals would have you believe l'm a monster >a child molester and a p-------- >but hold on wasn't it fine when I was the 15 year old masturbating in front of you?

25 MSNBC EST. 1996 This is who we are. TUCH RLSON TONIGHT 5A7A17E2-3710-4C87-8651-BE31A75D0BDD.jpg 116 KB JPG >>68614844 # >what if I showed you a picture of 15 year old me beating off to 25 year old pornographic actress >you'd say that perfectly fine >it's 'normal' for a boy of that age >you might even say I have a nice penis >and you'd be right >now what if footage emerged of 25 year old me beating off to pictures of a 15 year old Ukrainian girl i'd solicited via discord/twitter >liberals would have you believe l'm a monster >a child molester and a p-------- >but hold on wasn't it fine when I was the 15 year old masturbating in front of you?

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