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they/them she/her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:51:42 No.855112209 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color. 1.48 MB GIF > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature >I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I thìnk "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times >I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day. So what have YOU been doing to make this world a better place?
: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:51:42 No.855112209 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color. 1.48 MB GIF > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature >I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I thìnk "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times >I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day. So what have YOU been doing to make this world a better place?

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Best cousin ever | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/16/11(Fri)12:31 No.29717036 O File1316190712.jpg-(16 KB, 289x295, YES.jpg) speaking of Gay Marriage I have a story for you all >be with family last weekend >little 5 year old cousin playing with MLP toys in the living room >announces we are all invited to the wedding >aunt asks who's getting married >fluttershy and appljack >aunt says "They can't get married" >cousin is distraught "why not!?" >aunt says "because girls can't marry other girls" >cousin is angry "who says?" >aunt "god says" >cousin "then I'm going to worship satan" f------ awesome, lemme tell you
Anonymous 09/16/11(Fri)12:31 No.29717036 O File1316190712.jpg-(16 KB, 289x295, YES.jpg) speaking of Gay Marriage I have a story for you all >be with family last weekend >little 5 year old cousin playing with MLP toys in the living room >announces we are all invited to the wedding >aunt asks who's getting married >fluttershy and appljack >aunt says "They can't get married" >cousin is distraught "why not!?" >aunt says "because girls can't marry other girls" >cousin is angry "who says?" >aunt "god says" >cousin "then I'm going to worship satan" f------ awesome, lemme tell you

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Anon is a based duckBro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)06:48:04 No.65197635 >Me >Lost like 20kg, looking the best I've looked for a long time >One of my go to activities is going for a walk/jog around this huge wet-lands thats near my house >There's these cute ducks there 177 KB PNG >Sometimes when I'm there reading a book they'll sleep besides me on the grass >They begin to recognise me by now and always come over when I begin my walks >l start taking frozen peas down to feed them before doing some laps on the running tracks >One day I'm feeding the duck bros >qt3.14 is jogging passed >She stops mid-stride and takes her headphones out >"Are they your pet ducks?" she asks >"Heh, I wish" >We both have a lil giggle >"Very cute" she says with a smile >She puts her headphones in >"Hopefully I'll see you and the ducks around more often" >I smile at her and she smiles back before going back to jogging >l return to feeding the ducks while feeling absolute bliss Blessed duck bros. Thank you so much.
: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)06:48:04 No.65197635 >Me >Lost like 20kg, looking the best I've looked for a long time >One of my go to activities is going for a walk/jog around this huge wet-lands thats near my house >There's these cute ducks there 177 KB PNG >Sometimes when I'm there reading a book they'll sleep besides me on the grass >They begin to recognise me by now and always come over when I begin my walks >l start taking frozen peas down to feed them before doing some laps on the running tracks >One day I'm feeding the duck bros >qt3.14 is jogging passed >She stops mid-stride and takes her headphones out >"Are they your pet ducks?" she asks >"Heh, I wish" >We both have a lil giggle >"Very cute" she says with a smile >She puts her headphones in >"Hopefully I'll see you and the ducks around more often" >I smile at her and she smiles back before going back to jogging >l return to feeding the ducks while feeling absolute bliss Blessed duck bros. Thank you so much.

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Anon is a criminal mastermind | /r/Greentext

File: 477732678.jpg (45 KB, 600x600) >go to Long John Silvers drive thru >order food >ask for extra tartar sauce (I like a lot of tartar) >cashier bitch hands me 2 packets >says she can give me more but would have to charge me for them >ask for cup of water (free) >pull into parking spot >dump out water >take cup inside >fill cup with tartar sauce from self serve pump >leave Don't f--- with me Long Johns, l'll hack your f------ system
File: 477732678.jpg (45 KB, 600x600) >go to Long John Silvers drive thru >order food >ask for extra tartar sauce (I like a lot of tartar) >cashier bitch hands me 2 packets >says she can give me more but would have to charge me for them >ask for cup of water (free) >pull into parking spot >dump out water >take cup inside >fill cup with tartar sauce from self serve pump >leave Don't f--- with me Long Johns, l'll hack your f------ system

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>story.mp4 | /r/Greentext

>Maxed out my weights (unrelated) >Go to D---'s Sporting Goods >Grab a 45lb plate in each hand, head to check out >Cashier is 8/10 petite in a pinkt-shirt >Plates make a satisfying thud as I lay them on the counter >She mirin' >l feel like a bear >I realize I am bear >Maul the cashier >Hibernate for the winter
>Maxed out my weights (unrelated) >Go to D---'s Sporting Goods >Grab a 45lb plate in each hand, head to check out >Cashier is 8/10 petite in a pinkt-shirt >Plates make a satisfying thud as I lay them on the counter >She mirin' >l feel like a bear >I realize I am bear >Maul the cashier >Hibernate for the winter

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anon finally made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)06:57:11 No.878257570 >be me >posts stupid greentexts on /b/ when i am bored >mfw I open reddit and see one of my greentexts with over 3k upvotes >In a good mood for the 66 KB JPG rest of the day I finally made it anons
: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)06:57:11 No.878257570 >be me >posts stupid greentexts on /b/ when i am bored >mfw I open reddit and see one of my greentexts with over 3k upvotes >In a good mood for the 66 KB JPG rest of the day I finally made it anons

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Anon wonders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous E 05/16/22(Mon)01:34:24 No.164768555 Americans, who are you guys at war with currently? You guys have perpetually been in a state of war, so whats going on right now? 61 KB JPG Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:35:24 No.164768581 >>164768555 (OP). Proxy war in Ukraine Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:38:09 No.164768634 >>164768555 (OP) American here, l'll give you a little insight into the next big war: be mindful of Portugal's situation, my guess is this thing will blow out of proportion in the next 3 days or so the way things are going here. Luckily l'll be leaving tomorrow. Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:39:12 No.164768654 GAR Robot Attends School For Obese 2nd Grader 975 KB GIF A war with the scales.
Anonymous E 05/16/22(Mon)01:34:24 No.164768555 Americans, who are you guys at war with currently? You guys have perpetually been in a state of war, so whats going on right now? 61 KB JPG Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:35:24 No.164768581 >>164768555 (OP). Proxy war in Ukraine Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:38:09 No.164768634 >>164768555 (OP) American here, l'll give you a little insight into the next big war: be mindful of Portugal's situation, my guess is this thing will blow out of proportion in the next 3 days or so the way things are going here. Luckily l'll be leaving tomorrow. Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:39:12 No.164768654 GAR Robot Attends School For Obese 2nd Grader 975 KB GIF A war with the scales.

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NPC Mass Shooter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WivBgga0 NigSocs 05/14/22(Sat)15:32:44 No.377636473 >Be NigSoc >Be radicalized on 4chan >Decide that you have to save the white race >Don't have children >Don't start a political movement >Don't contribute to your community 178 KB PNG >Decide to commit a shooting >Type up a manifesto namedropping all the sites that the feds want banned >Use all the gear the feds want banned >Use the weapons the feds want banned >Drive past the anti-white politician >Drive past the federal building >Drive past the illegal immigrant sweatshop >Shoot up a grocery store filled with white people >Allow yourself to be captured, fueling the white privilege myth
: Anonymous (ID: WivBgga0 NigSocs 05/14/22(Sat)15:32:44 No.377636473 >Be NigSoc >Be radicalized on 4chan >Decide that you have to save the white race >Don't have children >Don't start a political movement >Don't contribute to your community 178 KB PNG >Decide to commit a shooting >Type up a manifesto namedropping all the sites that the feds want banned >Use all the gear the feds want banned >Use the weapons the feds want banned >Drive past the anti-white politician >Drive past the federal building >Drive past the illegal immigrant sweatshop >Shoot up a grocery store filled with white people >Allow yourself to be captured, fueling the white privilege myth

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The Greentext Archive | /r/Greentext

>middle school gym class >shower time >walk into shower >'hey look at anons d---, it's practically non existent' >they all start chanting 'tiny 90 KB JPG weenie anon" >coach comes in and breaks it up >he starts to say 'never judge a man by the size of his genitals, but by his act-' >coach looks down >'jesus christ son, that thing hasn't grown since kindergarten has it?" >mfw
>middle school gym class >shower time >walk into shower >'hey look at anons d---, it's practically non existent' >they all start chanting 'tiny 90 KB JPG weenie anon" >coach comes in and breaks it up >he starts to say 'never judge a man by the size of his genitals, but by his act-' >coach looks down >'jesus christ son, that thing hasn't grown since kindergarten has it?" >mfw

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Anon works at subway | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)22:42:39 No.68645155 >be me >s----- subway job >making this old lady's sandwich >as i'm toasting it, she goes to pay >finishes paying, just stands there >look at her for like 5 seconds before 29 KB JPG asking what veggies she wants >she says "oh, i forgot" >whatever.jpg >she walks back over to me >"are you ok?" >what >"you weren't smiling so i thought you might be in a bad mood" am i supposed to be smiling at work? what's wrong with these people (old people especially)? i was being perfectly polite, i'm just not in the mood to be smiling my ass off at my dumbass wage slave job.
: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)22:42:39 No.68645155 >be me >s----- subway job >making this old lady's sandwich >as i'm toasting it, she goes to pay >finishes paying, just stands there >look at her for like 5 seconds before 29 KB JPG asking what veggies she wants >she says "oh, i forgot" >whatever.jpg >she walks back over to me >"are you ok?" >what >"you weren't smiling so i thought you might be in a bad mood" am i supposed to be smiling at work? what's wrong with these people (old people especially)? i was being perfectly polite, i'm just not in the mood to be smiling my ass off at my dumbass wage slave job.

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Anon is atheist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)15:40:45 No.878245729 >Be me >Le epic atheist >At historic black church >Pastor is talking about the evils of white people >Laugh and yell that God does not 10 KB JPG exist >People call me a cracker and through me out >As I'm leaving the church grounds the pastor's daughter comes up to me >"Hey Anon and we talk?" >She no longer believes that God exists and I'm the only person she knows who thinks like her >We talk and hang out >Eventually a relationship starts >l've always had a sickness for ebony thickness >One day at her house >l'm f------ her good >She's climaxing >All of the sudden Pastor barges into her room and calls her a slut and goes on about him being so ashamed that she didn't wait until marriage >I get mad at him because love this woman and how dare he call her a slut >D--- is on the edge of c------ >Get idea >Use my d--- like a gun and shoot a load into the pastor's eyes blinding him >Take my GF's hand and leave the house >her family disowns her >She lives with me now >Mfw l'm going to ask her to marry me
: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)15:40:45 No.878245729 >Be me >Le epic atheist >At historic black church >Pastor is talking about the evils of white people >Laugh and yell that God does not 10 KB JPG exist >People call me a cracker and through me out >As I'm leaving the church grounds the pastor's daughter comes up to me >"Hey Anon and we talk?" >She no longer believes that God exists and I'm the only person she knows who thinks like her >We talk and hang out >Eventually a relationship starts >l've always had a sickness for ebony thickness >One day at her house >l'm f------ her good >She's climaxing >All of the sudden Pastor barges into her room and calls her a slut and goes on about him being so ashamed that she didn't wait until marriage >I get mad at him because love this woman and how dare he call her a slut >D--- is on the edge of c------ >Get idea >Use my d--- like a gun and shoot a load into the pastor's eyes blinding him >Take my GF's hand and leave the house >her family disowns her >She lives with me now >Mfw l'm going to ask her to marry me

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Anon's scary moment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)19:12:24 No.878231975 >be me >Kidnapped >Taken to weird facility >l get placed on an automatic rolling factory line, not sure what it's for >Mechanism pulls my pants off, start to worry >Next mechanism forces me to have 141 KB PNG an erection, I'm confused >There's a lot of tubes, one of them latches onto my penis >Needle comes out and pokes my d--- to numb it for some reason >Tube gets blades, quickly slices my d--- off entirely, for some reason I'm so stunned my reaction is minimal >Guy at the end of the line let's me go >Walking down street and I meet someone who just came out of the same facility >"Are you missing your c--- too" yeah I said >Start getting depressed as I realize l'll never be sexually satisfied again for the rest of my life, start crying >Wake up, it was all just a bad dream >So grateful that it wasn't real that I almost start crying >So grateful I decide to beat off again Why am I like this?
: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)19:12:24 No.878231975 >be me >Kidnapped >Taken to weird facility >l get placed on an automatic rolling factory line, not sure what it's for >Mechanism pulls my pants off, start to worry >Next mechanism forces me to have 141 KB PNG an erection, I'm confused >There's a lot of tubes, one of them latches onto my penis >Needle comes out and pokes my d--- to numb it for some reason >Tube gets blades, quickly slices my d--- off entirely, for some reason I'm so stunned my reaction is minimal >Guy at the end of the line let's me go >Walking down street and I meet someone who just came out of the same facility >"Are you missing your c--- too" yeah I said >Start getting depressed as I realize l'll never be sexually satisfied again for the rest of my life, start crying >Wake up, it was all just a bad dream >So grateful that it wasn't real that I almost start crying >So grateful I decide to beat off again Why am I like this?

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Anon likes games | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)23:04:28 No.541885087 v 1608499208340.png (338 KB, 750x734) google yandex iqdb wait >>541884689 (OP) >Difficulty: Tell Me a Story >Aim Assist: On >Weapon Sway: Off >Invisibility While Prone: On >Slow Motion While Aiming: On >Autosave Before Every Encounter: On >Enemy Perception: Low >Enemy Accuracy: Low >Boss Fight Skip Option: On >100% Walkthrough open >Discord open for emotional support Time to game.
U Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)23:04:28 No.541885087 v 1608499208340.png (338 KB, 750x734) google yandex iqdb wait >>541884689 (OP) >Difficulty: Tell Me a Story >Aim Assist: On >Weapon Sway: Off >Invisibility While Prone: On >Slow Motion While Aiming: On >Autosave Before Every Encounter: On >Enemy Perception: Low >Enemy Accuracy: Low >Boss Fight Skip Option: On >100% Walkthrough open >Discord open for emotional support Time to game.

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Anon life is over | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)16:31:57 No.66778694 How do you know if you have low testosterone? I went to a doctor and he told me no you are young and fine but i'm tired and uninterested in girls 85 KB PNG I can test it myself but its expansive, only one like total testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, free testosterone .. whats the best one to check to see if i have bad levels? Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)16:33:12 No.66778720 >>66778694 (OP) >Anime pic You're low test. It's over
Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)16:31:57 No.66778694 How do you know if you have low testosterone? I went to a doctor and he told me no you are young and fine but i'm tired and uninterested in girls 85 KB PNG I can test it myself but its expansive, only one like total testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, free testosterone .. whats the best one to check to see if i have bad levels? Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)16:33:12 No.66778720 >>66778694 (OP) >Anime pic You're low test. It's over

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Anon plans on hosting Eurovision | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)00:15:52 No.110516738 Your country will win Eurovision if it goes to war next year Quick, go call Putin a n on Twitter 104 KB PNG >>110516817 # >>110516871 #
: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)00:15:52 No.110516738 Your country will win Eurovision if it goes to war next year Quick, go call Putin a n on Twitter 104 KB PNG >>110516817 # >>110516871 #

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Anon gets it now | /r/Greentext

You and I will never know each other. Not what we look like, how we sound, or know each other's names. We're separated by the sea and live on separate continents, thousands of miles apart. Different countries and different cultures. You and I look above and see the same stars as we both frog post below. And in this moment, we share the same thoughts and understand each other better than the neighbors who live beside us in the same culture, on the same continent, and in the same country. You will always be a fren
You and I will never know each other. Not what we look like, how we sound, or know each other's names. We're separated by the sea and live on separate continents, thousands of miles apart. Different countries and different cultures. You and I look above and see the same stars as we both frog post below. And in this moment, we share the same thoughts and understand each other better than the neighbors who live beside us in the same culture, on the same continent, and in the same country. You will always be a fren

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anon questions shadow the hedgehog | /r/Greentext

File: 1644021670063.png (437 KB, 820x1154) O Anonymous 0515/22(Sun)16:58:43 No.878201589 (Reply] >calls himself the ultimate lifeform >"disgusting black creatures, get out of my sight" >never apologized >still not cancelled Is he based?
File: 1644021670063.png (437 KB, 820x1154) O Anonymous 0515/22(Sun)16:58:43 No.878201589 (Reply] >calls himself the ultimate lifeform >"disgusting black creatures, get out of my sight" >never apologized >still not cancelled Is he based?

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Anon Becomes an Alpha | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)13:50:33 No.26457414 How do I make the mental transition from an effeminate gay bottom to a masculine straight dude 493 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)13:52:05 No.26457435 MLLC 62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly 1627584585080.png 133 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)13:50:33 No.26457414 How do I make the mental transition from an effeminate gay bottom to a masculine straight dude 493 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)13:52:05 No.26457435 MLLC 62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly 1627584585080.png 133 KB PNG

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Anon discovers the McRib’s secret. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)20:27:39 No.877971132 5077E542-BAD4-47B9-B06C-F21D4CDB958C.jpg 144 KB JPG The reason The McRib is not a full time menu item is because of liberals. Let me explain >Liberals have stupid ideas >Not making the McRib a full time menu item is a stupid idea why would liberals do this
: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)20:27:39 No.877971132 5077E542-BAD4-47B9-B06C-F21D4CDB958C.jpg 144 KB JPG The reason The McRib is not a full time menu item is because of liberals. Let me explain >Liberals have stupid ideas >Not making the McRib a full time menu item is a stupid idea why would liberals do this

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Anon buy stuff at the gas station | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)21:47:12 No.68639866 >go buy stuff at gas station >show cashier phone to scan coupon >accidentally show family guy p--- >"uh... sorry..." >leave everything on the counter and walk away 23 KB JPG I can never go back anons help do i just kms at this point 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)21:47:12 No.68639866 >go buy stuff at gas station >show cashier phone to scan coupon >accidentally show family guy p--- >"uh... sorry..." >leave everything on the counter and walk away 23 KB JPG I can never go back anons help do i just kms at this point 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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