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Anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

File: you-are-done.jpg (60 KB, 1024x486) THE USTICE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION NEWS ABOUT US MOST WANTED CONTACT US Forms Home • Thank You For Your Tip Thank You Your tip has been submitted. Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)02:23:57 No.878247846 [Reply] D >>878257805 I have been reporting all loli posters to the proper authorities If you have noticed random sporadic lags while using your computer, that's probably the activity logging software uploading logs
File: you-are-done.jpg (60 KB, 1024x486) THE USTICE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION NEWS ABOUT US MOST WANTED CONTACT US Forms Home • Thank You For Your Tip Thank You Your tip has been submitted. Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)02:23:57 No.878247846 [Reply] D >>878257805 I have been reporting all loli posters to the proper authorities If you have noticed random sporadic lags while using your computer, that's probably the activity logging software uploading logs

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Anon skates | /r/Greentext

First greentext>be me >be 17, like to skate >summer >just moved and have no friends nearby except a guy down my street I occasionally talk to >decide to build a skateboard ramp 34 KB JPG >finally finish and decide to make another one >skate once a week on my ramps outside >notice a 9 year old kid from down my street outside watching me skate sometimes >see the kid try to skate in his yard every once in a while >one day I tell the kid to try the ramp >eats s--- >gets back up like nothing >he started coming everyday to skate with me outside >decided to try to help him learn to skate and learn how to improve >he starts getting good and doing actual tricks >started to learn to do tricks off things >dropped in on the ramp for the first time >been about 3 months and he's significantly better than when he started >taught him how to grind on a ramp >"thanks for teaching me anon" >"I really do look up to you sometimes" >tfw I finally feel happy since moving
First greentext>be me >be 17, like to skate >summer >just moved and have no friends nearby except a guy down my street I occasionally talk to >decide to build a skateboard ramp 34 KB JPG >finally finish and decide to make another one >skate once a week on my ramps outside >notice a 9 year old kid from down my street outside watching me skate sometimes >see the kid try to skate in his yard every once in a while >one day I tell the kid to try the ramp >eats s--- >gets back up like nothing >he started coming everyday to skate with me outside >decided to try to help him learn to skate and learn how to improve >he starts getting good and doing actual tricks >started to learn to do tricks off things >dropped in on the ramp for the first time >been about 3 months and he's significantly better than when he started >taught him how to grind on a ramp >"thanks for teaching me anon" >"I really do look up to you sometimes" >tfw I finally feel happy since moving

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Jumping jack flash | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)07:50:03 No.68648937 >gas station girl remembers what I get and knows my schedule and goes "you're late!" If I come in later than normal >Normies telling me she must like me 1.52 MB PNG >Know she's just being nice I can't imagine how dehumanizing the normie mindset is. to make a customer service workers work place less comfortable for them to go by asking them out for just doing their job.
: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)07:50:03 No.68648937 >gas station girl remembers what I get and knows my schedule and goes "you're late!" If I come in later than normal >Normies telling me she must like me 1.52 MB PNG >Know she's just being nice I can't imagine how dehumanizing the normie mindset is. to make a customer service workers work place less comfortable for them to go by asking them out for just doing their job.

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Anon visits r/blackpeopletwitter | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2022-05-16 at (.).png (29 KB, 180x180) O Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)19:17:54 No.878275857► >be me >eurofag >dont give a s--- too much about mass shootings in US because whatever >go to reddit to get a take on what people are saying because its a huge (supposedly) unbiased platform >go to sub called "black people twitter" >top post is a twitter screenshot >screenshot is some black guy saying "if a black kid wrote a manifesto and shot white people in a store then all hell would break loose" >hmmm ok >18,000 upvotes >several awards >lets check the comments >curious.jpg >here's a list of the top comments that have hundreds of upvotes and awards >"this is why you should never vote whites" >"whites have a blind spot for whites and the excuses are baked in" >"a few years ago a black cop went on a shooting spree and the LAPD started shooting newspaper delivery ladies* >"a black kid wouldnt have made it into the store without being frisked but whites do what they want" >"we need a fight. a racial revolution" >"whites are gonna shrug this off" >"if a black did this they'd be drafting emergency laws, but because its a white nobody cares" >"white people only see white people" (what the f--- does this even mean) >"blood is on all our hands for tolerating whites" >i cant reply >turns out you can only post if you take a picture of your black skin and ask mods to approve you. >isnt this segregation? >report them all for hatespeech >get told by reddit admins that no rules are violated and no action being taken >how the f--- is this not hatespeech >4chan gets f------ destroyed every time something happens but this racist s--- is encouraged, supported, awarded and allowed to stand by redditcucks. >why is this not considered hate speech, with this subreddit being considered as a platform for hate speech >confused.jpg >f--- reddit. Seriously though, what the f--.
File: Screenshot 2022-05-16 at (.).png (29 KB, 180x180) O Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)19:17:54 No.878275857► >be me >eurofag >dont give a s--- too much about mass shootings in US because whatever >go to reddit to get a take on what people are saying because its a huge (supposedly) unbiased platform >go to sub called "black people twitter" >top post is a twitter screenshot >screenshot is some black guy saying "if a black kid wrote a manifesto and shot white people in a store then all hell would break loose" >hmmm ok >18,000 upvotes >several awards >lets check the comments >curious.jpg >here's a list of the top comments that have hundreds of upvotes and awards >"this is why you should never vote whites" >"whites have a blind spot for whites and the excuses are baked in" >"a few years ago a black cop went on a shooting spree and the LAPD started shooting newspaper delivery ladies* >"a black kid wouldnt have made it into the store without being frisked but whites do what they want" >"we need a fight. a racial revolution" >"whites are gonna shrug this off" >"if a black did this they'd be drafting emergency laws, but because its a white nobody cares" >"white people only see white people" (what the f--- does this even mean) >"blood is on all our hands for tolerating whites" >i cant reply >turns out you can only post if you take a picture of your black skin and ask mods to approve you. >isnt this segregation? >report them all for hatespeech >get told by reddit admins that no rules are violated and no action being taken >how the f--- is this not hatespeech >4chan gets f------ destroyed every time something happens but this racist s--- is encouraged, supported, awarded and allowed to stand by redditcucks. >why is this not considered hate speech, with this subreddit being considered as a platform for hate speech >confused.jpg >f--- reddit. Seriously though, what the f--.

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anon likes family guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)14:32:35 No.878283550 >be me at a younger age >Mentally ill, parents never tested for any specific problem >Watch family guy 24/7 >Obsessed with the show and GUY characters 68 KB PNG >Have family guy themed birthday parties, own all of the family guy toys >First time I ever jerked off was to Louis >Brian is my dream dog >One day I spend 13 hours straight watching family guy >Dad walks in, turns tv off and sits me down and says "son, we need to talk" >He tells me l'm banned from watching family guy, I scream at him and fight him, telling him he can't oppress me >Parents get rid of the TV, over time I have to find new hobbies >High school comes around, I've lost a lot of weight and I'm passing my classes, I still occasionally make a family guy reference in class and sometimes people laugh >Graduate high school and move out, buy my first TV and a streaming service, family guy is on the service I just lost my job after watching family guy for 48 hours straight, is something wrong with me?
: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)14:32:35 No.878283550 >be me at a younger age >Mentally ill, parents never tested for any specific problem >Watch family guy 24/7 >Obsessed with the show and GUY characters 68 KB PNG >Have family guy themed birthday parties, own all of the family guy toys >First time I ever jerked off was to Louis >Brian is my dream dog >One day I spend 13 hours straight watching family guy >Dad walks in, turns tv off and sits me down and says "son, we need to talk" >He tells me l'm banned from watching family guy, I scream at him and fight him, telling him he can't oppress me >Parents get rid of the TV, over time I have to find new hobbies >High school comes around, I've lost a lot of weight and I'm passing my classes, I still occasionally make a family guy reference in class and sometimes people laugh >Graduate high school and move out, buy my first TV and a streaming service, family guy is on the service I just lost my job after watching family guy for 48 hours straight, is something wrong with me?

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anon hate fat people | /r/Greentext

>>168051356 (OP) # I love how they portray no-life friendless NEETS as fat but every time a no-life friendless NEET goes outside and commits a mass shooting irl its always a skinny guy. >>168052585 # >>168052699 # >>168053368 # Anonymous : Anonymou 05/15/22(Sun)22:48:45 No.168052699 >shoot som >>168051789 # what was th Yeah but fat people are gross. It's easier to convey that visually if they are extra >>168051900 # gross.
>>168051356 (OP) # I love how they portray no-life friendless NEETS as fat but every time a no-life friendless NEET goes outside and commits a mass shooting irl its always a skinny guy. >>168052585 # >>168052699 # >>168053368 # Anonymous : Anonymou 05/15/22(Sun)22:48:45 No.168052699 >shoot som >>168051789 # what was th Yeah but fat people are gross. It's easier to convey that visually if they are extra >>168051900 # gross.

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Even during suicide, life fucks with Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.77852004 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing 148 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.77852004 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing 148 KB JPG

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Anon makes a good point. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/19(Sat)01:05:04 No.791590505 >be me >right now >toasting toaster stroodles at 12 am >be you 7 KB JPG >rn >not toasting toaster stroodles at 12 am >why live
: Anonymous 02/02/19(Sat)01:05:04 No.791590505 >be me >right now >toasting toaster stroodles at 12 am >be you 7 KB JPG >rn >not toasting toaster stroodles at 12 am >why live

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Anon is dangerous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the 19 KB JPG guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the 19 KB JPG guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

12/07/17(Thu)20:20:40 No.41636302 : Anon Ascended >Be me, in biology class >teacher not here, so we watch House >l make a joke about the incesty father in the episode >girl next to me laughs and says "Man, I really hate you, anon." 25 KB JPG >l reply "Yeah, I get that alot." >She responds "Aww man, you know I was joking, right? You're honestly f------ hilarious." I truly feel alive now, never been happier
12/07/17(Thu)20:20:40 No.41636302 : Anon Ascended >Be me, in biology class >teacher not here, so we watch House >l make a joke about the incesty father in the episode >girl next to me laughs and says "Man, I really hate you, anon." 25 KB JPG >l reply "Yeah, I get that alot." >She responds "Aww man, you know I was joking, right? You're honestly f------ hilarious." I truly feel alive now, never been happier

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Anon is an olympian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)10:21:40 No.68650157 This one hurt. >be me, back at about 14ish >parents always signing me up for running activities >start traveling for running events >always place high, alot of first places 132 KB JPG >l guess l'm good at running? >parents have me training alot >say a big event is coming up >we go to the event >people there have those faces >weird but whatever >look around at the banners >it's the f------ special olympics >l place 5th out of 8 >the three tards I beat didn't even finish cuz they cried after the starting gunshot Why not just tell me I'm retarded? I ran my ass off prepping for that s--- and it was all a ruse to subtly let me know so they didn't have to tell me directly.
: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)10:21:40 No.68650157 This one hurt. >be me, back at about 14ish >parents always signing me up for running activities >start traveling for running events >always place high, alot of first places 132 KB JPG >l guess l'm good at running? >parents have me training alot >say a big event is coming up >we go to the event >people there have those faces >weird but whatever >look around at the banners >it's the f------ special olympics >l place 5th out of 8 >the three tards I beat didn't even finish cuz they cried after the starting gunshot Why not just tell me I'm retarded? I ran my ass off prepping for that s--- and it was all a ruse to subtly let me know so they didn't have to tell me directly.

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Citation needed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anons is this true? 05/16/22(Mon)02:44:54 No.68646801 >recently learned that 80% of men will not reproduce >this means that 100% of pregnancies are caused by 20% of men >only 20% of genetic information makes it into the next generation, 80% is discarded through 17 KB JPG selection : Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)02:49:37 No.68646841 and which peer reviewed study did you learn this from, anon? 16 KB PNG
: Anonymous Anons is this true? 05/16/22(Mon)02:44:54 No.68646801 >recently learned that 80% of men will not reproduce >this means that 100% of pregnancies are caused by 20% of men >only 20% of genetic information makes it into the next generation, 80% is discarded through 17 KB JPG selection : Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)02:49:37 No.68646841 and which peer reviewed study did you learn this from, anon? 16 KB PNG

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they/them she/her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:51:42 No.855112209 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color. 1.48 MB GIF > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature >I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I thìnk "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times >I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day. So what have YOU been doing to make this world a better place?
: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:51:42 No.855112209 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color. 1.48 MB GIF > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature >I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I thìnk "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times >I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day. So what have YOU been doing to make this world a better place?

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Best cousin ever | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/16/11(Fri)12:31 No.29717036 O File1316190712.jpg-(16 KB, 289x295, YES.jpg) speaking of Gay Marriage I have a story for you all >be with family last weekend >little 5 year old cousin playing with MLP toys in the living room >announces we are all invited to the wedding >aunt asks who's getting married >fluttershy and appljack >aunt says "They can't get married" >cousin is distraught "why not!?" >aunt says "because girls can't marry other girls" >cousin is angry "who says?" >aunt "god says" >cousin "then I'm going to worship satan" f------ awesome, lemme tell you
Anonymous 09/16/11(Fri)12:31 No.29717036 O File1316190712.jpg-(16 KB, 289x295, YES.jpg) speaking of Gay Marriage I have a story for you all >be with family last weekend >little 5 year old cousin playing with MLP toys in the living room >announces we are all invited to the wedding >aunt asks who's getting married >fluttershy and appljack >aunt says "They can't get married" >cousin is distraught "why not!?" >aunt says "because girls can't marry other girls" >cousin is angry "who says?" >aunt "god says" >cousin "then I'm going to worship satan" f------ awesome, lemme tell you

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Anon is a based duckBro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)06:48:04 No.65197635 >Me >Lost like 20kg, looking the best I've looked for a long time >One of my go to activities is going for a walk/jog around this huge wet-lands thats near my house >There's these cute ducks there 177 KB PNG >Sometimes when I'm there reading a book they'll sleep besides me on the grass >They begin to recognise me by now and always come over when I begin my walks >l start taking frozen peas down to feed them before doing some laps on the running tracks >One day I'm feeding the duck bros >qt3.14 is jogging passed >She stops mid-stride and takes her headphones out >"Are they your pet ducks?" she asks >"Heh, I wish" >We both have a lil giggle >"Very cute" she says with a smile >She puts her headphones in >"Hopefully I'll see you and the ducks around more often" >I smile at her and she smiles back before going back to jogging >l return to feeding the ducks while feeling absolute bliss Blessed duck bros. Thank you so much.
: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)06:48:04 No.65197635 >Me >Lost like 20kg, looking the best I've looked for a long time >One of my go to activities is going for a walk/jog around this huge wet-lands thats near my house >There's these cute ducks there 177 KB PNG >Sometimes when I'm there reading a book they'll sleep besides me on the grass >They begin to recognise me by now and always come over when I begin my walks >l start taking frozen peas down to feed them before doing some laps on the running tracks >One day I'm feeding the duck bros >qt3.14 is jogging passed >She stops mid-stride and takes her headphones out >"Are they your pet ducks?" she asks >"Heh, I wish" >We both have a lil giggle >"Very cute" she says with a smile >She puts her headphones in >"Hopefully I'll see you and the ducks around more often" >I smile at her and she smiles back before going back to jogging >l return to feeding the ducks while feeling absolute bliss Blessed duck bros. Thank you so much.

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Anon is a criminal mastermind | /r/Greentext

File: 477732678.jpg (45 KB, 600x600) >go to Long John Silvers drive thru >order food >ask for extra tartar sauce (I like a lot of tartar) >cashier bitch hands me 2 packets >says she can give me more but would have to charge me for them >ask for cup of water (free) >pull into parking spot >dump out water >take cup inside >fill cup with tartar sauce from self serve pump >leave Don't f--- with me Long Johns, l'll hack your f------ system
File: 477732678.jpg (45 KB, 600x600) >go to Long John Silvers drive thru >order food >ask for extra tartar sauce (I like a lot of tartar) >cashier bitch hands me 2 packets >says she can give me more but would have to charge me for them >ask for cup of water (free) >pull into parking spot >dump out water >take cup inside >fill cup with tartar sauce from self serve pump >leave Don't f--- with me Long Johns, l'll hack your f------ system

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>story.mp4 | /r/Greentext

>Maxed out my weights (unrelated) >Go to D---'s Sporting Goods >Grab a 45lb plate in each hand, head to check out >Cashier is 8/10 petite in a pinkt-shirt >Plates make a satisfying thud as I lay them on the counter >She mirin' >l feel like a bear >I realize I am bear >Maul the cashier >Hibernate for the winter
>Maxed out my weights (unrelated) >Go to D---'s Sporting Goods >Grab a 45lb plate in each hand, head to check out >Cashier is 8/10 petite in a pinkt-shirt >Plates make a satisfying thud as I lay them on the counter >She mirin' >l feel like a bear >I realize I am bear >Maul the cashier >Hibernate for the winter

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anon finally made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)06:57:11 No.878257570 >be me >posts stupid greentexts on /b/ when i am bored >mfw I open reddit and see one of my greentexts with over 3k upvotes >In a good mood for the 66 KB JPG rest of the day I finally made it anons
: Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)06:57:11 No.878257570 >be me >posts stupid greentexts on /b/ when i am bored >mfw I open reddit and see one of my greentexts with over 3k upvotes >In a good mood for the 66 KB JPG rest of the day I finally made it anons

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Anon wonders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous E 05/16/22(Mon)01:34:24 No.164768555 Americans, who are you guys at war with currently? You guys have perpetually been in a state of war, so whats going on right now? 61 KB JPG Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:35:24 No.164768581 >>164768555 (OP). Proxy war in Ukraine Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:38:09 No.164768634 >>164768555 (OP) American here, l'll give you a little insight into the next big war: be mindful of Portugal's situation, my guess is this thing will blow out of proportion in the next 3 days or so the way things are going here. Luckily l'll be leaving tomorrow. Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:39:12 No.164768654 GAR Robot Attends School For Obese 2nd Grader 975 KB GIF A war with the scales.
Anonymous E 05/16/22(Mon)01:34:24 No.164768555 Americans, who are you guys at war with currently? You guys have perpetually been in a state of war, so whats going on right now? 61 KB JPG Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:35:24 No.164768581 >>164768555 (OP). Proxy war in Ukraine Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:38:09 No.164768634 >>164768555 (OP) American here, l'll give you a little insight into the next big war: be mindful of Portugal's situation, my guess is this thing will blow out of proportion in the next 3 days or so the way things are going here. Luckily l'll be leaving tomorrow. Anonymous 05/16/22(Mon)01:39:12 No.164768654 GAR Robot Attends School For Obese 2nd Grader 975 KB GIF A war with the scales.

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NPC Mass Shooter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WivBgga0 NigSocs 05/14/22(Sat)15:32:44 No.377636473 >Be NigSoc >Be radicalized on 4chan >Decide that you have to save the white race >Don't have children >Don't start a political movement >Don't contribute to your community 178 KB PNG >Decide to commit a shooting >Type up a manifesto namedropping all the sites that the feds want banned >Use all the gear the feds want banned >Use the weapons the feds want banned >Drive past the anti-white politician >Drive past the federal building >Drive past the illegal immigrant sweatshop >Shoot up a grocery store filled with white people >Allow yourself to be captured, fueling the white privilege myth
: Anonymous (ID: WivBgga0 NigSocs 05/14/22(Sat)15:32:44 No.377636473 >Be NigSoc >Be radicalized on 4chan >Decide that you have to save the white race >Don't have children >Don't start a political movement >Don't contribute to your community 178 KB PNG >Decide to commit a shooting >Type up a manifesto namedropping all the sites that the feds want banned >Use all the gear the feds want banned >Use the weapons the feds want banned >Drive past the anti-white politician >Drive past the federal building >Drive past the illegal immigrant sweatshop >Shoot up a grocery store filled with white people >Allow yourself to be captured, fueling the white privilege myth

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