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anon is serbian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)22:40:02 No.876602853 >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her 50 KB JPG >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >I explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay
Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)22:40:02 No.876602853 >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her 50 KB JPG >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >I explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay

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Anon gets an F | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (224 KB, 620x413) F □ Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)17:39:23 No.68385885 [Reply]► >>68386194 >turn in a paper for school using properly formatted grammar and paragraphs >instructor gives me an F; writes "reddit spacing, opinion discarded" on the top of the page
File: file.png (224 KB, 620x413) F □ Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)17:39:23 No.68385885 [Reply]► >>68386194 >turn in a paper for school using properly formatted grammar and paragraphs >instructor gives me an F; writes "reddit spacing, opinion discarded" on the top of the page

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why can't zoomers speak English? | /r/Greentext

>be me >20 year old zoomer >supersingle >try to talk to fellow zoomer girl >hello >THATS KINDA SUS 16 KB JPG >KPOP >TIKTOK >LOL I LOVE MEMES IM SO QUIRKY why are they like this
>be me >20 year old zoomer >supersingle >try to talk to fellow zoomer girl >hello >THATS KINDA SUS 16 KB JPG >KPOP >TIKTOK >LOL I LOVE MEMES IM SO QUIRKY why are they like this

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Anon might be autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Story time anons: >be me >wandering Walmart cuz bored after work 16 KB JPG >enter tech department >7/10 qt walks up to me >phone sales girl >starts asking me about my phone and what carrier I use etc. >autism.exe >need to do something with my hands >pull keys out of pocket and start fiddling with them >have tiny tape measure on keys >start playing with it >justthetip.png >drop my keys while still holding tip >oh fug oh fug oh fug >spaghetti.jpg >idea.ppt >pulls up on tape measure >continues to pull >eventually it reaches the end and pulls the keys with it >without breaking eye contact or bending down >suck back in tape measure tape >metallicwhoosh.mp3 >7/10 qt looks concerned but continues with her shpiel >speak for the first time since she started talking to me 5 minutes ago >say no thanks and leaves >spaghetti trailing behind me I might genuinely be autistic, at this point wouldn't surprise me. Pic related. 05/18/22(Wed)21:13:14 No.878426020
: Anonymous Story time anons: >be me >wandering Walmart cuz bored after work 16 KB JPG >enter tech department >7/10 qt walks up to me >phone sales girl >starts asking me about my phone and what carrier I use etc. >autism.exe >need to do something with my hands >pull keys out of pocket and start fiddling with them >have tiny tape measure on keys >start playing with it >justthetip.png >drop my keys while still holding tip >oh fug oh fug oh fug >spaghetti.jpg >idea.ppt >pulls up on tape measure >continues to pull >eventually it reaches the end and pulls the keys with it >without breaking eye contact or bending down >suck back in tape measure tape >metallicwhoosh.mp3 >7/10 qt looks concerned but continues with her shpiel >speak for the first time since she started talking to me 5 minutes ago >say no thanks and leaves >spaghetti trailing behind me I might genuinely be autistic, at this point wouldn't surprise me. Pic related. 05/18/22(Wed)21:13:14 No.878426020

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Anon has integrity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Nietzsche spinning in his grave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LIRI7Taz 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >f----- teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living
: Anonymous (ID: LIRI7Taz 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >f----- teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living

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Anon has ball cancer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Question 05/19/22(Thu)09:59:18 No.31883152 Accidentally grabbed my balls today. God damn, my guys are pretty big now. It's really hard to hold both of 'em in one hand. So, should I be proud? 68 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)10:00:21 No.31883160 Dude you're suffering from tumor, testicle tumor,more like ball cancer. 2 Replies
: Anonymous Question 05/19/22(Thu)09:59:18 No.31883152 Accidentally grabbed my balls today. God damn, my guys are pretty big now. It's really hard to hold both of 'em in one hand. So, should I be proud? 68 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)10:00:21 No.31883160 Dude you're suffering from tumor, testicle tumor,more like ball cancer. 2 Replies

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Anon on American war movies. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)05:10:54 No.68688990 Why do modern American war movies lie about everything? Pic related being the best example: LONE SURVIVOR >The Taliban knew the seals were there immediately because they used helicopters in a f------ valley >They were never compromised by civie 274 KB JPG goat farmers (made up) >The Taliban sent 7-12 fighters max to ambush the the team (not 100 like in the film) >Danny got killed immediately after the ambush started >Marcus ran off without firing a single shot (the man who rescued him checked his kit/vest) >Axleson wandered off and died elsewhere >Murphy was the only one shown actively fighting the ambush on video, until he was hit and started crying out for Marcus to come back and help them (he didn't) >They didn't kill a single Taliban fighter during the ambush >Marcus forced the villagers who saved him to not utter a word of this to anyone
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)05:10:54 No.68688990 Why do modern American war movies lie about everything? Pic related being the best example: LONE SURVIVOR >The Taliban knew the seals were there immediately because they used helicopters in a f------ valley >They were never compromised by civie 274 KB JPG goat farmers (made up) >The Taliban sent 7-12 fighters max to ambush the the team (not 100 like in the film) >Danny got killed immediately after the ambush started >Marcus ran off without firing a single shot (the man who rescued him checked his kit/vest) >Axleson wandered off and died elsewhere >Murphy was the only one shown actively fighting the ambush on video, until he was hit and started crying out for Marcus to come back and help them (he didn't) >They didn't kill a single Taliban fighter during the ambush >Marcus forced the villagers who saved him to not utter a word of this to anyone

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Anon makes profit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)19:29:30 No.878441064 >>878440788 # > in bed with the girls > one nut in each mouth > lord Jesus this is better than a homeless f----- finding heroin > tell them to suck harder, l'm almost c------ > j--- > look down and realize there were 4 girls, one on each of my 4 nuts > remember that a radioactive spider bit me last week > profit
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)19:29:30 No.878441064 >>878440788 # > in bed with the girls > one nut in each mouth > lord Jesus this is better than a homeless f----- finding heroin > tell them to suck harder, l'm almost c------ > j--- > look down and realize there were 4 girls, one on each of my 4 nuts > remember that a radioactive spider bit me last week > profit

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Anon admires Hank Hill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him 51 KB PNG in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?
: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him 51 KB PNG in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?

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Anon watches Black Panther | /r/Greentext

07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 : Anonymous >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" 374 KB JPG >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw
07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 : Anonymous >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" 374 KB JPG >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw

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sleepover pranks | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets a spongesexual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)20:51:06 No.599320050 1.jpg 566 KB JPG Not vidya but a few months ago I encountered a woman who has an sexual obsession with buff SpongeBob. She has over a hundred pieces of "art" of her self insert OC in angsty situations with him. >>599320145 # >>599320180 # >>599320187 # >>599320520 # >>599320803 # >>599320902 # >>599321120 # >>599321506 # >>599321834 # >>599322816 # >>599325520 # >>599326562 # >>599329241 # >>599330069 # >>599335171 #
: Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)20:51:06 No.599320050 1.jpg 566 KB JPG Not vidya but a few months ago I encountered a woman who has an sexual obsession with buff SpongeBob. She has over a hundred pieces of "art" of her self insert OC in angsty situations with him. >>599320145 # >>599320180 # >>599320187 # >>599320520 # >>599320803 # >>599320902 # >>599321120 # >>599321506 # >>599321834 # >>599322816 # >>599325520 # >>599326562 # >>599329241 # >>599330069 # >>599335171 #

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Anon watches a Marvel movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)04:12:17 No.168240830 shutterstock_499695973.jpg 987 KB JPG >look >HEY look guys look >those idiots are walking out >pffft morons obviously haven't seen a marvel movie before >omg guys this is it >h-------- >wow is that Thor with his c--- in Dr. Strange's mouth >I can't wait to tell everyone on r/marvel >you guys do realize how much better we are than everyone else for waiting on the post credit scene right?! >pull all your d---- out guys let's j------- to it while we can
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)04:12:17 No.168240830 shutterstock_499695973.jpg 987 KB JPG >look >HEY look guys look >those idiots are walking out >pffft morons obviously haven't seen a marvel movie before >omg guys this is it >h-------- >wow is that Thor with his c--- in Dr. Strange's mouth >I can't wait to tell everyone on r/marvel >you guys do realize how much better we are than everyone else for waiting on the post credit scene right?! >pull all your d---- out guys let's j------- to it while we can

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Anon is a wizard | /r/Greentext

: No.153617911 07/14/21 (Wed)19:51:44 1617090666052.jpg JPG 42.2 KiB 340x226 >"Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?"
: No.153617911 07/14/21 (Wed)19:51:44 1617090666052.jpg JPG 42.2 KiB 340x226 >"Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?"

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Anon is a refugee | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dWFKDSS5) Poland 05/18/22(Wed)23:11:16 No.378392269 >be Yazidi man >ISIS attacked my home in Northern Iraq >they massacre our people, shooting civilians and burying them alive 152 KB JPG >Yazidi women were being burned alive in cages for refusing to become sex slaves >me and my family manage to flee, & we take residence in a refugee camp >some years pass and we try to find a better life in Poland >in 2021 we head to Belarus, only to be told we were no longer welcome there >they push us to the border, beating us with batons >we go towards the Polish border, and the Polish guards attack us with tear gas >me and my family stay in the freezing forest with nowhere else to go >we are forced to eat leaves and snow for nutrients >my son freezes to death while armed Polish border guards watch >after a few weeks we are sent back to our camp in Iraq 2022 Invasion of Ukraine happens >the Poles welcome the Ukrainians with open arms as they flee the horrible war in their home country. They get toys and candy, & host families from all over treat them like family after offering them a warm place to stay Where was this compassion when we were fleeing war and hardship? Where was the food & shelter from Poland when Syrians were trying to escape the war in their home? How come we all escaped hell only to be shown no remorse by the Poles, who suddenly like taking in poor, traumatized refugees?
Anonymous (ID: dWFKDSS5) Poland 05/18/22(Wed)23:11:16 No.378392269 >be Yazidi man >ISIS attacked my home in Northern Iraq >they massacre our people, shooting civilians and burying them alive 152 KB JPG >Yazidi women were being burned alive in cages for refusing to become sex slaves >me and my family manage to flee, & we take residence in a refugee camp >some years pass and we try to find a better life in Poland >in 2021 we head to Belarus, only to be told we were no longer welcome there >they push us to the border, beating us with batons >we go towards the Polish border, and the Polish guards attack us with tear gas >me and my family stay in the freezing forest with nowhere else to go >we are forced to eat leaves and snow for nutrients >my son freezes to death while armed Polish border guards watch >after a few weeks we are sent back to our camp in Iraq 2022 Invasion of Ukraine happens >the Poles welcome the Ukrainians with open arms as they flee the horrible war in their home country. They get toys and candy, & host families from all over treat them like family after offering them a warm place to stay Where was this compassion when we were fleeing war and hardship? Where was the food & shelter from Poland when Syrians were trying to escape the war in their home? How come we all escaped hell only to be shown no remorse by the Poles, who suddenly like taking in poor, traumatized refugees?

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anon orders food from doordash | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:53:58 No.851359630 >Be me >order food from DoorDash >says it will take 20 minutes >hard af >it's been 2 hours w-- >look outside to see trail of blood and a 597 KB JPG collapsed body >look down street and see horrific car crash >driver crashed and in his final moments brought me my food >rate him 1 star for being late and leaving his trash body in my driveway
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:53:58 No.851359630 >Be me >order food from DoorDash >says it will take 20 minutes >hard af >it's been 2 hours w-- >look outside to see trail of blood and a 597 KB JPG collapsed body >look down street and see horrific car crash >driver crashed and in his final moments brought me my food >rate him 1 star for being late and leaving his trash body in my driveway

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Anon be poofin & goofin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IMYM+SFj ) = 05/19/22(Thu)07:00:11 No.15245256 >smoke a fat blunt >flyin high feelin good >turn on my internet machine, open web browser >all of my previously open youtube tabs 535 KB PNG open and start playing >my feeble weed brain begins to break down as 25+ seperate videos start playing at once and i can't process what the f--- is going on or where the sound is coming from
: Anonymous (ID: IMYM+SFj ) = 05/19/22(Thu)07:00:11 No.15245256 >smoke a fat blunt >flyin high feelin good >turn on my internet machine, open web browser >all of my previously open youtube tabs 535 KB PNG open and start playing >my feeble weed brain begins to break down as 25+ seperate videos start playing at once and i can't process what the f--- is going on or where the sound is coming from

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anon realizes something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)06:29:55 No.878430035 >2008 was 19 years ago 72 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)06:29:55 No.878430035 >2008 was 19 years ago 72 KB JPG

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Anon tries to fight the hive | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/18/22(Wed)15:13:41 No.878389110 >r/blackpeopletwitter >This sub is intended for social media posts made by black people. Only post social media content from black people. >ok 35 KB PNG > r/whitepeopletwitter > No rule for only whites posting > "ok, so why is there no such rule for this subreddit?" >"because it's not fair!,creates divide, blah blah blah" >why are redditors such donkeys? Anonymous 05/18/22(Wed)15:16:00 No.878389202 >>878389110 (OP) # Imaoing@op Anonymous 05/18/22(Wed)15:17:44 No.878389257 >>878389110 (OP) # Reddit is the worst of modern over-socialization and effeminacy.
Anonymous 05/18/22(Wed)15:13:41 No.878389110 >r/blackpeopletwitter >This sub is intended for social media posts made by black people. Only post social media content from black people. >ok 35 KB PNG > r/whitepeopletwitter > No rule for only whites posting > "ok, so why is there no such rule for this subreddit?" >"because it's not fair!,creates divide, blah blah blah" >why are redditors such donkeys? Anonymous 05/18/22(Wed)15:16:00 No.878389202 >>878389110 (OP) # Imaoing@op Anonymous 05/18/22(Wed)15:17:44 No.878389257 >>878389110 (OP) # Reddit is the worst of modern over-socialization and effeminacy.

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