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Anon is a businessman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/16/21 (Tue)11:22:47 No.849732160 >be me >get bored >order a pizza >pretend to be a pizza delivery guy >deliver pizzas to random people >hope to find a qt girl who lives alone and who likes pizza 154 KB PNG >thats all i need >eventually run into a few >p--- lied to me, whatever >around 70% of people actually decide to pay me for my pizza >others say they didnt order it >no loss >i guess people want pizzas some people just dont order them >idea.jpg >a pizza is 4 dollars at the store, ill sell it for 6 >buy 20 pizzas >sell all of them to random people pretending to be a delivery guy >40 dollar profit for selling 20 pizzas >do this when i need extra money
Anonymous 03/16/21 (Tue)11:22:47 No.849732160 >be me >get bored >order a pizza >pretend to be a pizza delivery guy >deliver pizzas to random people >hope to find a qt girl who lives alone and who likes pizza 154 KB PNG >thats all i need >eventually run into a few >p--- lied to me, whatever >around 70% of people actually decide to pay me for my pizza >others say they didnt order it >no loss >i guess people want pizzas some people just dont order them >idea.jpg >a pizza is 4 dollars at the store, ill sell it for 6 >buy 20 pizzas >sell all of them to random people pretending to be a delivery guy >40 dollar profit for selling 20 pizzas >do this when i need extra money

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Anon actually is an autist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)22:40:27 No.8030973 >Be me >born around 2lbs >survive that >pull out my oxygen tube and turn purple >nurse puts it back in AUTISTIC AUTISM ENPRISTAVER CHILD AREA 308 KB PNG >almost spawn killed myself >gets autism instead
Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)22:40:27 No.8030973 >Be me >born around 2lbs >survive that >pull out my oxygen tube and turn purple >nurse puts it back in AUTISTIC AUTISM ENPRISTAVER CHILD AREA 308 KB PNG >almost spawn killed myself >gets autism instead

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Anon gets mired from the other room | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)22:06:47 No.66834783 Happened recently >at work, minding my business >just came back from a 7 day long conference in Sardinia (perks of the job I guess) >colleagues I went with are showing pictures to hottie coworker in room next door (8,5/10 body with goldstein nose) >beach pictures were made >hear hottie say "wow anon is actually pretty hot" >spaghetti kicks in and yell "thanks" from the other room Still counts bros WAGMI >>66835079 # >>66835372 # >>66836192 # >>66840264 # Anonymous05/19/22(Thu)22:27:41 No.66835079 >>66834783 # >yell "thanks" from the other room F------ based 66834812
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)22:06:47 No.66834783 Happened recently >at work, minding my business >just came back from a 7 day long conference in Sardinia (perks of the job I guess) >colleagues I went with are showing pictures to hottie coworker in room next door (8,5/10 body with goldstein nose) >beach pictures were made >hear hottie say "wow anon is actually pretty hot" >spaghetti kicks in and yell "thanks" from the other room Still counts bros WAGMI >>66835079 # >>66835372 # >>66836192 # >>66840264 # Anonymous05/19/22(Thu)22:27:41 No.66835079 >>66834783 # >yell "thanks" from the other room F------ based 66834812

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anon watches porn | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)16:34:10 No.878473113 : Anonymous PicsArt_01-14-10.12.47.png 50 KB PNG >be me >Watching p--- on sketchy website >Have to use the bathroom, put phone down >2 minutes later hear my mom screaming my name >Apparently when setting my phone down my finger accidentally hit the cast button >Grandparents, sister, brother and parents all saw the i----- p--- on our 75" TV What do I do
05/19/22(Thu)16:34:10 No.878473113 : Anonymous PicsArt_01-14-10.12.47.png 50 KB PNG >be me >Watching p--- on sketchy website >Have to use the bathroom, put phone down >2 minutes later hear my mom screaming my name >Apparently when setting my phone down my finger accidentally hit the cast button >Grandparents, sister, brother and parents all saw the i----- p--- on our 75" TV What do I do

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Face the consequences | /r/Greentext

05/20/22(Fri)00:44:37 No.68701117 >get horny >install grindr >talk to guys that tell me they want to facefuck me and call me names >tell them they can roleplay as burglars and come to my house and r--- me : Anonymous 133 KB JPG >they tell me stuff that makes me hornier >j------- >c-- >uninstall grindr and feel sick >repeat
05/20/22(Fri)00:44:37 No.68701117 >get horny >install grindr >talk to guys that tell me they want to facefuck me and call me names >tell them they can roleplay as burglars and come to my house and r--- me : Anonymous 133 KB JPG >they tell me stuff that makes me hornier >j------- >c-- >uninstall grindr and feel sick >repeat

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Transform and roll out. | /r/Greentext

10/21/21(Thu)11:39:48 No.865318875 Anonymous TRANS RICHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS 103 KB JPG Anonymous FORMERS! 121 KB JPG >>865319701 # >>865319954 # >>865322013 # >>865323631 # Alright, /b/, when I say trans you say rights! Okay, got it? Great, let's go! TRANS! 10/21/21(Thu)11:40:12 No.865318885
10/21/21(Thu)11:39:48 No.865318875 Anonymous TRANS RICHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS 103 KB JPG Anonymous FORMERS! 121 KB JPG >>865319701 # >>865319954 # >>865322013 # >>865323631 # Alright, /b/, when I say trans you say rights! Okay, got it? Great, let's go! TRANS! 10/21/21(Thu)11:40:12 No.865318885

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Anon is the life of the party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)17:00:45 No.878474287 >be me, college student, 2005 >Not popular but still have friends >One of those friends is holding a get together just 10-15 people but there's drinks and a GameCube 129 KB JPG >Playing Smash Bros with a couple of guys there when a girl I talked to in high school chemistry shows up >She's happy to see me, we talk for a bit with a few drinks >She's getting kinda flirty, I've drank a bit too much >She says in a joking manner "I bet I could beat your ass in smash" >I take it personally/seriously and set up a 1v1 4 stock, no items match on fountain of dreams >Pick Falco, she picks captain falcon > 4 stock her ass because obviously she doesn't play smash and in my drunken voice I said "haha I just kicked your ass you dumb bitch" >She kinda laughs and goes back to talking with her friends, doesn't talk to me again the rest of the night It's been 17 years but I still can't sleep some nights, did I really blow it that bad?
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)17:00:45 No.878474287 >be me, college student, 2005 >Not popular but still have friends >One of those friends is holding a get together just 10-15 people but there's drinks and a GameCube 129 KB JPG >Playing Smash Bros with a couple of guys there when a girl I talked to in high school chemistry shows up >She's happy to see me, we talk for a bit with a few drinks >She's getting kinda flirty, I've drank a bit too much >She says in a joking manner "I bet I could beat your ass in smash" >I take it personally/seriously and set up a 1v1 4 stock, no items match on fountain of dreams >Pick Falco, she picks captain falcon > 4 stock her ass because obviously she doesn't play smash and in my drunken voice I said "haha I just kicked your ass you dumb bitch" >She kinda laughs and goes back to talking with her friends, doesn't talk to me again the rest of the night It's been 17 years but I still can't sleep some nights, did I really blow it that bad?

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Anon touches grass | /r/Greentext

05/20/22(Fri)02:54:03 No.66835606 >be autistic loner with no friends, gf, or family >hate wagecucking, but also hate days off due to loneliness >have 2 days off >very few matches on bumble, but none of them are replying >delete account out of pure depression : Anonymous 806 KB PNG and self loathing >absolutely nobody to talk to now >alone playing vidya all day >more depressed than ever >next day go for a bike ride out in the sun >take a route I never went on >find a creek a bit off the route I didn't even know existed >all alone again, out in the sun, just listening to the sound of running water >feel at peace Exercise and vitamin D, is this the ultimate cure for depression?
05/20/22(Fri)02:54:03 No.66835606 >be autistic loner with no friends, gf, or family >hate wagecucking, but also hate days off due to loneliness >have 2 days off >very few matches on bumble, but none of them are replying >delete account out of pure depression : Anonymous 806 KB PNG and self loathing >absolutely nobody to talk to now >alone playing vidya all day >more depressed than ever >next day go for a bike ride out in the sun >take a route I never went on >find a creek a bit off the route I didn't even know existed >all alone again, out in the sun, just listening to the sound of running water >feel at peace Exercise and vitamin D, is this the ultimate cure for depression?

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anon is a conspiracy theorist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 57 20-83 AM 04/20/99 18 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous Works Cited: 21 KB JPG 05/19/22(Thu)23:13:14 No.878485461 In 1999 the CIA paid columbine students to act as if they experienced a shooting within their school, when in actuality no shooting had ever taken place. Eric and Dylan were actors as well. The Columbine tragedy was a hoax. View Thread 05/19/22(Thu)23:15:38 No.878485634 >>878485461 (OP) #
: Anonymous 11 57 20-83 AM 04/20/99 18 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous Works Cited: 21 KB JPG 05/19/22(Thu)23:13:14 No.878485461 In 1999 the CIA paid columbine students to act as if they experienced a shooting within their school, when in actuality no shooting had ever taken place. Eric and Dylan were actors as well. The Columbine tragedy was a hoax. View Thread 05/19/22(Thu)23:15:38 No.878485634 >>878485461 (OP) #

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 878480103 163.7 kB PNG 7 min. ago.. >be me >at city hall acquiring legal documents for job >old man besides me is having tech troubles with his phone >he says he can't access his online banking because his phone keeps freezing >offer to assist him >also start having trouble because his phone won't respond >girl behind me decides to help >we both tinker with old man's phone >old man has a f--- ton of p--- tabs open on his phone >we both pretend to see nothing and as we exit every p--- tab >she hands phone to old man and tells him his phone is an old model that's why it's so slow >old man leaves and we bursts out laughing >chatting with her for a few mins about random interests >she tell me she's very interested in volcanoes and proceeds to show me volcanoes pictures on her phone >she can name almost every active volcanoes >just sit there and listen to her geeking out on volcanoes >exchange contacts before we part ways >after a few weeks of talking she agreed to meet with me at City Hall where we met >mfw i got a date because of an old coomer
Anonymous | 878480103 163.7 kB PNG 7 min. ago.. >be me >at city hall acquiring legal documents for job >old man besides me is having tech troubles with his phone >he says he can't access his online banking because his phone keeps freezing >offer to assist him >also start having trouble because his phone won't respond >girl behind me decides to help >we both tinker with old man's phone >old man has a f--- ton of p--- tabs open on his phone >we both pretend to see nothing and as we exit every p--- tab >she hands phone to old man and tells him his phone is an old model that's why it's so slow >old man leaves and we bursts out laughing >chatting with her for a few mins about random interests >she tell me she's very interested in volcanoes and proceeds to show me volcanoes pictures on her phone >she can name almost every active volcanoes >just sit there and listen to her geeking out on volcanoes >exchange contacts before we part ways >after a few weeks of talking she agreed to meet with me at City Hall where we met >mfw i got a date because of an old coomer

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anon goes grocery shopping | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)23:39:19 No.878470399 >Be me, go grocery shopping ENOUGH >Go to self checkout so I don't have to interact with people >Self checkout attendee welcomes me, tries to make small talk I'm never leaving the house again : Anonymous 14 KB JPG
05/19/22(Thu)23:39:19 No.878470399 >Be me, go grocery shopping ENOUGH >Go to self checkout so I don't have to interact with people >Self checkout attendee welcomes me, tries to make small talk I'm never leaving the house again : Anonymous 14 KB JPG

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Anon breaks the third wall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ume 548 KB PNG 05/13/22(Fri)20:08:30 No.66749772 >resting after set >think "just so you're aware, I know you're reading my mind" >car parked across the street speeds off
: Anonymous Ume 548 KB PNG 05/13/22(Fri)20:08:30 No.66749772 >resting after set >think "just so you're aware, I know you're reading my mind" >car parked across the street speeds off

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Anon is chillin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu) 19:50:49 No.878459446 >Favorite pastime: Chillin >Pet peeve: Not Chillin >Where I see myself in 10 years: >Still Chillin 10 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu) 19:50:49 No.878459446 >Favorite pastime: Chillin >Pet peeve: Not Chillin >Where I see myself in 10 years: >Still Chillin 10 KB JPG

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Anon should go to the doctor | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)16:09:43 No.237915002 ? >pee scene >theres no blood and the character isn't wincing in pain Anonymous 60 KB JPG
05/19/22(Thu)16:09:43 No.237915002 ? >pee scene >theres no blood and the character isn't wincing in pain Anonymous 60 KB JPG

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Anon makes an observation | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)09:54:12 No.878451959 : Anonymous Based? Based on what? 141 KB JPG You are all retarded and debased. >homos should be banned >some retard comments "this is based hehehee" >I have sexual intercourse with muscular men with no hesitation >Some retard comments "this is based hehehee"
05/19/22(Thu)09:54:12 No.878451959 : Anonymous Based? Based on what? 141 KB JPG You are all retarded and debased. >homos should be banned >some retard comments "this is based hehehee" >I have sexual intercourse with muscular men with no hesitation >Some retard comments "this is based hehehee"

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anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)21:36:19 No.878464413 : Anonymous 387 KB JPG >"You haven't seen it? no way, it's on netflix" >"sorry I don't have netflix" >awkward silence >look up the movie on google >notice it starred Dicaprio >tell her I will watch it later because I that guy >she makes a disgusted face >"You know what? nevermind" >grabs her purse and leaves >get blocked What the f--- >be me >go for dinner with a tinder date >it's going great, having laughs and stuff >ask her her favorite movie >says it's "don't look up" >"I think I've heard of it. what is it about?"
05/19/22(Thu)21:36:19 No.878464413 : Anonymous 387 KB JPG >"You haven't seen it? no way, it's on netflix" >"sorry I don't have netflix" >awkward silence >look up the movie on google >notice it starred Dicaprio >tell her I will watch it later because I that guy >she makes a disgusted face >"You know what? nevermind" >grabs her purse and leaves >get blocked What the f--- >be me >go for dinner with a tinder date >it's going great, having laughs and stuff >ask her her favorite movie >says it's "don't look up" >"I think I've heard of it. what is it about?"

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Anon has a little gym friend | /r/Greentext

05/13/22(Fri)17:20:29 No.66748258 : Anonymous uhm, cheesed to meet you? cheesed-.jpg 53 KB JPG >>66748005 (OP) # >going to the gym at 4 am >see gym rat coming out of the sewers
05/13/22(Fri)17:20:29 No.66748258 : Anonymous uhm, cheesed to meet you? cheesed-.jpg 53 KB JPG >>66748005 (OP) # >going to the gym at 4 am >see gym rat coming out of the sewers

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Anon is farto | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sat 28 Dec 2019 14:14:17 No.817176079 View Quoted By: >>817176124 >>817176178 > On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell > People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger.
Anonymous Sat 28 Dec 2019 14:14:17 No.817176079 View Quoted By: >>817176124 >>817176178 > On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell > People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger.

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Anon wakes up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:01:12 No.68694024 Girl Finally Liked Me 192 KB JPG So this girl approached me and asked for my number because she said that I was really good looking. I enthusiastically said yes but she looked sort of young so I asked her age but she wouldn't tell me. After a lot of deliberations she told me she was 23 years old (I assumed she thought I would think she is too old for me due to my baby face). I told her of course this is no problem and I'm 20 years old so we are exchanging numbers and having so much fun conversations she tells me she is graduating in a couple of months as well. She asks me to pick her up on my shoulders. This was the first girl that was ever genuinely attracted to me. It was so cool being able to experience that. Then I woke up abruptly from the dream. I almost cried, I had to lay there for 20 mins just processing what happened. My heart is aching right now. JAL
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:01:12 No.68694024 Girl Finally Liked Me 192 KB JPG So this girl approached me and asked for my number because she said that I was really good looking. I enthusiastically said yes but she looked sort of young so I asked her age but she wouldn't tell me. After a lot of deliberations she told me she was 23 years old (I assumed she thought I would think she is too old for me due to my baby face). I told her of course this is no problem and I'm 20 years old so we are exchanging numbers and having so much fun conversations she tells me she is graduating in a couple of months as well. She asks me to pick her up on my shoulders. This was the first girl that was ever genuinely attracted to me. It was so cool being able to experience that. Then I woke up abruptly from the dream. I almost cried, I had to lay there for 20 mins just processing what happened. My heart is aching right now. JAL

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anon gets owned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:37:55 No.878458957 1648190125481.jpg 9 KB JPG >be me >Walking down the sidewalk in San Francisco >Group of homeless guys are on my right looking at me funny >I ignore and keep walking >Another crackhead homeless guy roughly 40 feet in front of me >Starts charging at me, he's f------ fast and he's got a bucket of something >He catches me and pours the bucket on me >It's boiling diarrhea >I scream so f------ loud as the f----- laughs >He pushes me into the grass snd I lay there, covered in hot wet s---, crying, like a little bitch I've since moved to Idaho and I will never go back to San Francisco, this experience keeps me up every night but I can't afford therapy, what do I do
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:37:55 No.878458957 1648190125481.jpg 9 KB JPG >be me >Walking down the sidewalk in San Francisco >Group of homeless guys are on my right looking at me funny >I ignore and keep walking >Another crackhead homeless guy roughly 40 feet in front of me >Starts charging at me, he's f------ fast and he's got a bucket of something >He catches me and pours the bucket on me >It's boiling diarrhea >I scream so f------ loud as the f----- laughs >He pushes me into the grass snd I lay there, covered in hot wet s---, crying, like a little bitch I've since moved to Idaho and I will never go back to San Francisco, this experience keeps me up every night but I can't afford therapy, what do I do

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