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anon is a conspiracy theorist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 57 20-83 AM 04/20/99 18 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous Works Cited: 21 KB JPG 05/19/22(Thu)23:13:14 No.878485461 In 1999 the CIA paid columbine students to act as if they experienced a shooting within their school, when in actuality no shooting had ever taken place. Eric and Dylan were actors as well. The Columbine tragedy was a hoax. View Thread 05/19/22(Thu)23:15:38 No.878485634 >>878485461 (OP) #
: Anonymous 11 57 20-83 AM 04/20/99 18 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous Works Cited: 21 KB JPG 05/19/22(Thu)23:13:14 No.878485461 In 1999 the CIA paid columbine students to act as if they experienced a shooting within their school, when in actuality no shooting had ever taken place. Eric and Dylan were actors as well. The Columbine tragedy was a hoax. View Thread 05/19/22(Thu)23:15:38 No.878485634 >>878485461 (OP) #

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 878480103 163.7 kB PNG 7 min. ago.. >be me >at city hall acquiring legal documents for job >old man besides me is having tech troubles with his phone >he says he can't access his online banking because his phone keeps freezing >offer to assist him >also start having trouble because his phone won't respond >girl behind me decides to help >we both tinker with old man's phone >old man has a f--- ton of p--- tabs open on his phone >we both pretend to see nothing and as we exit every p--- tab >she hands phone to old man and tells him his phone is an old model that's why it's so slow >old man leaves and we bursts out laughing >chatting with her for a few mins about random interests >she tell me she's very interested in volcanoes and proceeds to show me volcanoes pictures on her phone >she can name almost every active volcanoes >just sit there and listen to her geeking out on volcanoes >exchange contacts before we part ways >after a few weeks of talking she agreed to meet with me at City Hall where we met >mfw i got a date because of an old coomer
Anonymous | 878480103 163.7 kB PNG 7 min. ago.. >be me >at city hall acquiring legal documents for job >old man besides me is having tech troubles with his phone >he says he can't access his online banking because his phone keeps freezing >offer to assist him >also start having trouble because his phone won't respond >girl behind me decides to help >we both tinker with old man's phone >old man has a f--- ton of p--- tabs open on his phone >we both pretend to see nothing and as we exit every p--- tab >she hands phone to old man and tells him his phone is an old model that's why it's so slow >old man leaves and we bursts out laughing >chatting with her for a few mins about random interests >she tell me she's very interested in volcanoes and proceeds to show me volcanoes pictures on her phone >she can name almost every active volcanoes >just sit there and listen to her geeking out on volcanoes >exchange contacts before we part ways >after a few weeks of talking she agreed to meet with me at City Hall where we met >mfw i got a date because of an old coomer

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anon goes grocery shopping | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)23:39:19 No.878470399 >Be me, go grocery shopping ENOUGH >Go to self checkout so I don't have to interact with people >Self checkout attendee welcomes me, tries to make small talk I'm never leaving the house again : Anonymous 14 KB JPG
05/19/22(Thu)23:39:19 No.878470399 >Be me, go grocery shopping ENOUGH >Go to self checkout so I don't have to interact with people >Self checkout attendee welcomes me, tries to make small talk I'm never leaving the house again : Anonymous 14 KB JPG

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Anon breaks the third wall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ume 548 KB PNG 05/13/22(Fri)20:08:30 No.66749772 >resting after set >think "just so you're aware, I know you're reading my mind" >car parked across the street speeds off
: Anonymous Ume 548 KB PNG 05/13/22(Fri)20:08:30 No.66749772 >resting after set >think "just so you're aware, I know you're reading my mind" >car parked across the street speeds off

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Anon is chillin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu) 19:50:49 No.878459446 >Favorite pastime: Chillin >Pet peeve: Not Chillin >Where I see myself in 10 years: >Still Chillin 10 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu) 19:50:49 No.878459446 >Favorite pastime: Chillin >Pet peeve: Not Chillin >Where I see myself in 10 years: >Still Chillin 10 KB JPG

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Anon should go to the doctor | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)16:09:43 No.237915002 ? >pee scene >theres no blood and the character isn't wincing in pain Anonymous 60 KB JPG
05/19/22(Thu)16:09:43 No.237915002 ? >pee scene >theres no blood and the character isn't wincing in pain Anonymous 60 KB JPG

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Anon makes an observation | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)09:54:12 No.878451959 : Anonymous Based? Based on what? 141 KB JPG You are all retarded and debased. >homos should be banned >some retard comments "this is based hehehee" >I have sexual intercourse with muscular men with no hesitation >Some retard comments "this is based hehehee"
05/19/22(Thu)09:54:12 No.878451959 : Anonymous Based? Based on what? 141 KB JPG You are all retarded and debased. >homos should be banned >some retard comments "this is based hehehee" >I have sexual intercourse with muscular men with no hesitation >Some retard comments "this is based hehehee"

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anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

05/19/22(Thu)21:36:19 No.878464413 : Anonymous 387 KB JPG >"You haven't seen it? no way, it's on netflix" >"sorry I don't have netflix" >awkward silence >look up the movie on google >notice it starred Dicaprio >tell her I will watch it later because I that guy >she makes a disgusted face >"You know what? nevermind" >grabs her purse and leaves >get blocked What the f--- >be me >go for dinner with a tinder date >it's going great, having laughs and stuff >ask her her favorite movie >says it's "don't look up" >"I think I've heard of it. what is it about?"
05/19/22(Thu)21:36:19 No.878464413 : Anonymous 387 KB JPG >"You haven't seen it? no way, it's on netflix" >"sorry I don't have netflix" >awkward silence >look up the movie on google >notice it starred Dicaprio >tell her I will watch it later because I that guy >she makes a disgusted face >"You know what? nevermind" >grabs her purse and leaves >get blocked What the f--- >be me >go for dinner with a tinder date >it's going great, having laughs and stuff >ask her her favorite movie >says it's "don't look up" >"I think I've heard of it. what is it about?"

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Anon has a little gym friend | /r/Greentext

05/13/22(Fri)17:20:29 No.66748258 : Anonymous uhm, cheesed to meet you? cheesed-.jpg 53 KB JPG >>66748005 (OP) # >going to the gym at 4 am >see gym rat coming out of the sewers
05/13/22(Fri)17:20:29 No.66748258 : Anonymous uhm, cheesed to meet you? cheesed-.jpg 53 KB JPG >>66748005 (OP) # >going to the gym at 4 am >see gym rat coming out of the sewers

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Anon is farto | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sat 28 Dec 2019 14:14:17 No.817176079 View Quoted By: >>817176124 >>817176178 > On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell > People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger.
Anonymous Sat 28 Dec 2019 14:14:17 No.817176079 View Quoted By: >>817176124 >>817176178 > On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell > People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger.

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Anon wakes up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:01:12 No.68694024 Girl Finally Liked Me 192 KB JPG So this girl approached me and asked for my number because she said that I was really good looking. I enthusiastically said yes but she looked sort of young so I asked her age but she wouldn't tell me. After a lot of deliberations she told me she was 23 years old (I assumed she thought I would think she is too old for me due to my baby face). I told her of course this is no problem and I'm 20 years old so we are exchanging numbers and having so much fun conversations she tells me she is graduating in a couple of months as well. She asks me to pick her up on my shoulders. This was the first girl that was ever genuinely attracted to me. It was so cool being able to experience that. Then I woke up abruptly from the dream. I almost cried, I had to lay there for 20 mins just processing what happened. My heart is aching right now. JAL
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)14:01:12 No.68694024 Girl Finally Liked Me 192 KB JPG So this girl approached me and asked for my number because she said that I was really good looking. I enthusiastically said yes but she looked sort of young so I asked her age but she wouldn't tell me. After a lot of deliberations she told me she was 23 years old (I assumed she thought I would think she is too old for me due to my baby face). I told her of course this is no problem and I'm 20 years old so we are exchanging numbers and having so much fun conversations she tells me she is graduating in a couple of months as well. She asks me to pick her up on my shoulders. This was the first girl that was ever genuinely attracted to me. It was so cool being able to experience that. Then I woke up abruptly from the dream. I almost cried, I had to lay there for 20 mins just processing what happened. My heart is aching right now. JAL

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anon gets owned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:37:55 No.878458957 1648190125481.jpg 9 KB JPG >be me >Walking down the sidewalk in San Francisco >Group of homeless guys are on my right looking at me funny >I ignore and keep walking >Another crackhead homeless guy roughly 40 feet in front of me >Starts charging at me, he's f------ fast and he's got a bucket of something >He catches me and pours the bucket on me >It's boiling diarrhea >I scream so f------ loud as the f----- laughs >He pushes me into the grass snd I lay there, covered in hot wet s---, crying, like a little bitch I've since moved to Idaho and I will never go back to San Francisco, this experience keeps me up every night but I can't afford therapy, what do I do
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:37:55 No.878458957 1648190125481.jpg 9 KB JPG >be me >Walking down the sidewalk in San Francisco >Group of homeless guys are on my right looking at me funny >I ignore and keep walking >Another crackhead homeless guy roughly 40 feet in front of me >Starts charging at me, he's f------ fast and he's got a bucket of something >He catches me and pours the bucket on me >It's boiling diarrhea >I scream so f------ loud as the f----- laughs >He pushes me into the grass snd I lay there, covered in hot wet s---, crying, like a little bitch I've since moved to Idaho and I will never go back to San Francisco, this experience keeps me up every night but I can't afford therapy, what do I do

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Anon’s cryptonite | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)13:19:35 No.878460655 >me, engaged for over a year >been delaying wedding because no cash >have a 401k >never touching that because future is important 152 KB JPG >crypto though >pull out everything from 401k >$25000 after fees and taxes >put it all in shitcoins >4 days later I have $37000 >f--- yeah >next week I have $9000 >it's been five months and still no signs of a bounce back >stuck around $7500 >have not told my fiance about pulling out 401k and the crypto yeeting What do I do /b/
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)13:19:35 No.878460655 >me, engaged for over a year >been delaying wedding because no cash >have a 401k >never touching that because future is important 152 KB JPG >crypto though >pull out everything from 401k >$25000 after fees and taxes >put it all in shitcoins >4 days later I have $37000 >f--- yeah >next week I have $9000 >it's been five months and still no signs of a bounce back >stuck around $7500 >have not told my fiance about pulling out 401k and the crypto yeeting What do I do /b/

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anon joins fitness class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)19:50:49 No.878459446 >be me, 7 months ago >be fat, wheeze climbing stairs >join fitness class, older guys and wine mom's laugh at me >trainer gers tired of me struggling >tells me to start with home exercises to get used to it 10 KB JPG >be me, months later >start back at fitness class >"wow anon you lost so much weight" thanks wine milf >"you listened you learned, good job anon welcome back" thanks trainer Jokes on them, it's the heroin
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)19:50:49 No.878459446 >be me, 7 months ago >be fat, wheeze climbing stairs >join fitness class, older guys and wine mom's laugh at me >trainer gers tired of me struggling >tells me to start with home exercises to get used to it 10 KB JPG >be me, months later >start back at fitness class >"wow anon you lost so much weight" thanks wine milf >"you listened you learned, good job anon welcome back" thanks trainer Jokes on them, it's the heroin

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Anon is a proud boozer | /r/Greentext

03/02/21 (Tue) 14:37:12 No.15685527 : Anonymous >>15684060 # >be alcoholic >move to new town >first thought is to scout liquor stores and compare prices 411 KB GIF >halfway through realize how bad this is >keep doing it >cheapest prices are also closest to me >they have a points system for in store bonus' >blessing and a curse >go every other day for 3 weeks >I catch the same worker every time without fail >walk in one day >worker looks at me >punches in my points number without asking me what it is bros.....
03/02/21 (Tue) 14:37:12 No.15685527 : Anonymous >>15684060 # >be alcoholic >move to new town >first thought is to scout liquor stores and compare prices 411 KB GIF >halfway through realize how bad this is >keep doing it >cheapest prices are also closest to me >they have a points system for in store bonus' >blessing and a curse >go every other day for 3 weeks >I catch the same worker every time without fail >walk in one day >worker looks at me >punches in my points number without asking me what it is bros.....

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Anon Likes Transformers. | /r/Greentext

10/21/21(Thu)11:39:48 No.865318875 Alright, /b/, when I say trans you say rights! Okay, got it? Great, let's go! TRANS! 10/21/21(Thu)11:40:12 No.865318885 Anonymous TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS 103 KB JPG Anonymous FORMERS! 121 KB JPG >>865319701 # >>865319954 # >>865322013 # >>865323631 #
10/21/21(Thu)11:39:48 No.865318875 Alright, /b/, when I say trans you say rights! Okay, got it? Great, let's go! TRANS! 10/21/21(Thu)11:40:12 No.865318885 Anonymous TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS 103 KB JPG Anonymous FORMERS! 121 KB JPG >>865319701 # >>865319954 # >>865322013 # >>865323631 #

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Anon can’t get it up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:31:29 No.168224377 >get whisky d--- even if i drink oen pint >every single time a womans been interestted in me ive been drinking and cant get hard 437 KB GIF >>168224434 # >>168231695 # >>168232087 # >>168232434 # >>168233306 # >>168239293 # >>168239396 # : Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:32:51 No.168224434 >>168224377 # stop drinking retard >>168224489 # >>168224507 #
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:31:29 No.168224377 >get whisky d--- even if i drink oen pint >every single time a womans been interestted in me ive been drinking and cant get hard 437 KB GIF >>168224434 # >>168231695 # >>168232087 # >>168232434 # >>168233306 # >>168239293 # >>168239396 # : Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:32:51 No.168224434 >>168224377 # stop drinking retard >>168224489 # >>168224507 #

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Anon is a businessman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)15:50:37 No.65823522 >make a reddit account posing as a girl >repost nudes i got from /b/ >invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG >send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff >return that stuff for money >use that money to tip camgirls
: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)15:50:37 No.65823522 >make a reddit account posing as a girl >repost nudes i got from /b/ >invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG >send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff >return that stuff for money >use that money to tip camgirls

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue)09:52:57 No.3792971 >first date >ask what's her favorite dinosaur >ummm I don't know,stegosaurus maybe? >explain why she's wrong for next two hours
: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue)09:52:57 No.3792971 >first date >ask what's her favorite dinosaur >ummm I don't know,stegosaurus maybe? >explain why she's wrong for next two hours

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)08:41:44 No.878446942 >Be with friend >Friend goes to take a s--- >Friend leaves phone on table and unlocked >See opportunity to do a little trolling 39 KB JPG >Open his Facebook >"I'm gay." >Kek.jpeg >Phone starts blowing up >"Omg anon I knew it!" >"I still support you bro." >Dad starts yelling what's the f--- is this s---?! From upstairs >most people supporting and believing it. >Friend comes back out and notices all the notifications and hears dad yelling >Some people still question him to this day
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)08:41:44 No.878446942 >Be with friend >Friend goes to take a s--- >Friend leaves phone on table and unlocked >See opportunity to do a little trolling 39 KB JPG >Open his Facebook >"I'm gay." >Kek.jpeg >Phone starts blowing up >"Omg anon I knew it!" >"I still support you bro." >Dad starts yelling what's the f--- is this s---?! From upstairs >most people supporting and believing it. >Friend comes back out and notices all the notifications and hears dad yelling >Some people still question him to this day

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