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Anon bit the hand that fed them. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- endocrinologist if it will ever >ask stop 408 KB JPG >he says no and that i need laser >it costs a fortune Wat do /b/? : Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP
: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- endocrinologist if it will ever >ask stop 408 KB JPG >he says no and that i need laser >it costs a fortune Wat do /b/? : Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP

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Very useful advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue) 18:58:16 No.8585129 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt 8 KB JPG >notice roommate doesn't have his seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car and I want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue) 18:58:16 No.8585129 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt 8 KB JPG >notice roommate doesn't have his seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car and I want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.

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Anon is a pioneer | /r/Greentext

CoolCola: Russia Launches Coca-Cola, Fanta and Sprite Alternatives After Soda Exodus Updated one day ago C S COOLCOLA FANCY STREET : Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)18:10:55 No.17856320 >>17856308 (OP) # >born too late to enjoy peak Western civilization >born to early to explore the cosmos >born just in time to become an international beverage smuggler KIED 118 CO
CoolCola: Russia Launches Coca-Cola, Fanta and Sprite Alternatives After Soda Exodus Updated one day ago C S COOLCOLA FANCY STREET : Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)18:10:55 No.17856320 >>17856308 (OP) # >born too late to enjoy peak Western civilization >born to early to explore the cosmos >born just in time to become an international beverage smuggler KIED 118 CO

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Anon graduates highschool | /r/Greentext

>be 18, just graduated hs today >go to graduation ceremony >am not in contact with any classmates, only ever had acquaintances >everyone theres knows eachother >i stand around like an asocial autist for the whole time >mom and dad driving me home after >they ask why i dont have any friends >mom starts tearing up >she gives me a f------ lecture on why communication is so important it feels bad being this much of a loser
>be 18, just graduated hs today >go to graduation ceremony >am not in contact with any classmates, only ever had acquaintances >everyone theres knows eachother >i stand around like an asocial autist for the whole time >mom and dad driving me home after >they ask why i dont have any friends >mom starts tearing up >she gives me a f------ lecture on why communication is so important it feels bad being this much of a loser

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Anon is monke | /r/Greentext

01/09/21 (Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 : Anonymous >at the zoo >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins 244 KB PNG >guy in the background screams "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling
01/09/21 (Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 : Anonymous >at the zoo >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins 244 KB PNG >guy in the background screams "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling

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Anon is a rapper. | /r/Greentext

04/06/18(Fri)21:03:40 No.765096120 : Anonymous Well... >Be me >Amateur rapper >Spend hours daily writing verses >Finally get a show 79 KB JPG >Fuckyesnotgonnabeawagecuck.midi >Night of the show >Get really f------ tense when I see the crowd must be like 200 people there >forget all my f------ lines >Mfw >Awkwardly start to mumble what I think my lines are into the microphone >THEY F------ START SCREAMING WITH EXCITEMENT >mfw the last few years of my life have been a waste of time when I could have mumbled f------ anything and been rly successful
04/06/18(Fri)21:03:40 No.765096120 : Anonymous Well... >Be me >Amateur rapper >Spend hours daily writing verses >Finally get a show 79 KB JPG >Fuckyesnotgonnabeawagecuck.midi >Night of the show >Get really f------ tense when I see the crowd must be like 200 people there >forget all my f------ lines >Mfw >Awkwardly start to mumble what I think my lines are into the microphone >THEY F------ START SCREAMING WITH EXCITEMENT >mfw the last few years of my life have been a waste of time when I could have mumbled f------ anything and been rly successful

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Anon has a point. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/20/22(Fri)08:14:43 No.68704229 >Women's hobbies: >Travel, shopping, reading, traveling, working, investing, yoga >Men's hobbies >moping about women on a website for 36 KB JPG virgins >video games (lol) You "men" need to make yourself interesting and less pathetic if you want a girlfriend. Anonymous >>68704229 (OP) >Travel >traveling subtle 05/20/22(Fri)08:17:30 No.68704249
Anonymous 05/20/22(Fri)08:14:43 No.68704229 >Women's hobbies: >Travel, shopping, reading, traveling, working, investing, yoga >Men's hobbies >moping about women on a website for 36 KB JPG virgins >video games (lol) You "men" need to make yourself interesting and less pathetic if you want a girlfriend. Anonymous >>68704229 (OP) >Travel >traveling subtle 05/20/22(Fri)08:17:30 No.68704249

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Pop secret | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/22(Fri)09:37:25 No.68704913 why do people think its okay to be gay >be me >reading a book by a supposedly asexual author >scene where a character licks a popsicle comes on 6 KB JPG >I kid you not it's structured exactly like a sex scene >put the book down and start exercising so that I don't lose my nofap streak I feel like for a person who claims to be asexual this guys knows a bit too much about human sexuality. : Anonymous 05/20/22(Fri)09:46:23 No.68705006 >>68704913 (OP) # >be OP >reading a book hmmm >overly horny from years of pent up sexual frustration 134 cham 62 KB PNG >"[insert character here] licks a popsicle" >OMG-THIS-IS-JUST-LIKE-THE-SEX.webm >make this terrible thread 3:04
: Anonymous 05/20/22(Fri)09:37:25 No.68704913 why do people think its okay to be gay >be me >reading a book by a supposedly asexual author >scene where a character licks a popsicle comes on 6 KB JPG >I kid you not it's structured exactly like a sex scene >put the book down and start exercising so that I don't lose my nofap streak I feel like for a person who claims to be asexual this guys knows a bit too much about human sexuality. : Anonymous 05/20/22(Fri)09:46:23 No.68705006 >>68704913 (OP) # >be OP >reading a book hmmm >overly horny from years of pent up sexual frustration 134 cham 62 KB PNG >"[insert character here] licks a popsicle" >OMG-THIS-IS-JUST-LIKE-THE-SEX.webm >make this terrible thread 3:04

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barely greentextGermany vs Israel 2 Electric Boogaloo | /r/Greentext

No.87571996 11 hours ago Germany >Jurgen WHY THE F--- CANT YOU JUST WRITE JUERGEN ITS F------ JUERGEN IF YOU DONT HAVE AN UMLAUT HIS NAME IS NOT JURGEN 25 replies No.87572151 11 hours ago Israel >>87571996 how about killing yourself you disgusting germ*n 24 replies No.87572244 11 hours ago Germany >>87572151 how about you leave through the chimney like your grandpa 32 replies 800 ... ...
No.87571996 11 hours ago Germany >Jurgen WHY THE F--- CANT YOU JUST WRITE JUERGEN ITS F------ JUERGEN IF YOU DONT HAVE AN UMLAUT HIS NAME IS NOT JURGEN 25 replies No.87572151 11 hours ago Israel >>87571996 how about killing yourself you disgusting germ*n 24 replies No.87572244 11 hours ago Germany >>87572151 how about you leave through the chimney like your grandpa 32 replies 800 ... ...

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pedos get the ropeRiddle me this Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)00:10:33 No.64953756 1565166747388.jpg 141 KB JPG Riddle me this >"Is yaoi gay? If not, is it secretly straight?" >"Of course yaoi is gay, its two guys f------" >"Then loli is p---" >"um WELL UM ASKHAULLY NO.. ITS.. UMM uHHHH"
: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)00:10:33 No.64953756 1565166747388.jpg 141 KB JPG Riddle me this >"Is yaoi gay? If not, is it secretly straight?" >"Of course yaoi is gay, its two guys f------" >"Then loli is p---" >"um WELL UM ASKHAULLY NO.. ITS.. UMM uHHHH"

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Anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext

02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 : Anonymous Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0
02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 : Anonymous Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0

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Anon is a pedophile | /r/Greentext

> finally get home from university > go to visit family and cousins > little bro tells me about an 8 year old in his class who still pulls his pants down the whole way to pee > laugh because there was a weirdo in my class that used to do that too > later on call up my gf to bang > she strips and walks towards me sexily with her panties around her ankles > now can't stop thinking about that 8 year old boy while we have sex what do you think anons? should I tell my gf that I was thinking of her older brother the whole time we were doing it?
> finally get home from university > go to visit family and cousins > little bro tells me about an 8 year old in his class who still pulls his pants down the whole way to pee > laugh because there was a weirdo in my class that used to do that too > later on call up my gf to bang > she strips and walks towards me sexily with her panties around her ankles > now can't stop thinking about that 8 year old boy while we have sex what do you think anons? should I tell my gf that I was thinking of her older brother the whole time we were doing it?

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Anon's retirement plans have been ruined. | /r/Greentext

05/20/22(Fri) 18:04:53 No.878505060 >withdraw everything from 401k >only get 17k where is my other 384k? 05/20/22(Fri)18:06:40 No.878505128 : Anonymous Mos 174 KB JPG : Anonymous Did I get scammed by the bank?
05/20/22(Fri) 18:04:53 No.878505060 >withdraw everything from 401k >only get 17k where is my other 384k? 05/20/22(Fri)18:06:40 No.878505128 : Anonymous Mos 174 KB JPG : Anonymous Did I get scammed by the bank?

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This one hurts me bad | /r/Greentext

Duv9i6eW4AAQCuq.jpg 105 KB JPG >tfw red dead redemption 2 made me realize that there's no hiding from civilization since it's everywhere >tfw can't even really homestead today bc of stupid laws >can't even properly explore anything anymore because there isn't anything still left to explore All I ever wanted was to be free
Duv9i6eW4AAQCuq.jpg 105 KB JPG >tfw red dead redemption 2 made me realize that there's no hiding from civilization since it's everywhere >tfw can't even really homestead today bc of stupid laws >can't even properly explore anything anymore because there isn't anything still left to explore All I ever wanted was to be free

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Anon gets drunk | /r/Greentext


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Anon has ADHD | /r/Greentext


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Anon is alpha male | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates femcels. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)20:46:35 No.68699042 >being a "femcel" is now a cool alt thing >0% of "femcels" are actually celibate >none of them even pretend to know anything about 4chan culture >90% of them are underage b& high schoolers >"r9kcore" is now a thing 43 KB JPG I felt physically sick when I discovered this. I wish untold suffering on all foids. Anonymous >>68699042 (OP) >"r9kcore" is now a thing please tell me youre joking anon 05/19/22(Thu)20:48:28 No.68699061
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)20:46:35 No.68699042 >being a "femcel" is now a cool alt thing >0% of "femcels" are actually celibate >none of them even pretend to know anything about 4chan culture >90% of them are underage b& high schoolers >"r9kcore" is now a thing 43 KB JPG I felt physically sick when I discovered this. I wish untold suffering on all foids. Anonymous >>68699042 (OP) >"r9kcore" is now a thing please tell me youre joking anon 05/19/22(Thu)20:48:28 No.68699061

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Anon is a good singer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 181 KB PNG 11/08/19(Fri)20:30:51 No.55252651 11/08/19(Fri)20:33:45 No.55252698 I JUST CAAALLED TO SAAAAY I LOOOVE YOUUUU >>55252651 (OP) # damn anon, you have such a beautiful voice
: Anonymous 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 181 KB PNG 11/08/19(Fri)20:30:51 No.55252651 11/08/19(Fri)20:33:45 No.55252698 I JUST CAAALLED TO SAAAAY I LOOOVE YOUUUU >>55252651 (OP) # damn anon, you have such a beautiful voice

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Found this in my archives, here you go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)19:55:19 No.754163302 >be 14 >Don't know how to masturbate >Home alone 486 KB JPG >Go on a s----- p--- site that I honestly thought was the only source for p--- on the internet >Has images of Brittany Spears nude >I just sit there naked for almost an hour, occasionally patting my d--- >>754169608 # >>754169961 # >>754173777 #
Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)19:55:19 No.754163302 >be 14 >Don't know how to masturbate >Home alone 486 KB JPG >Go on a s----- p--- site that I honestly thought was the only source for p--- on the internet >Has images of Brittany Spears nude >I just sit there naked for almost an hour, occasionally patting my d--- >>754169608 # >>754169961 # >>754173777 #

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