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Full facial | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:26:19 No.68729417 >be me >in bed >can't sleep so I'm watching p--- >c-- >don't know what to do with the c--, the sink is too far away >heard that semen is really good for your skin 56 KB JPG >just rub it on my face as a joke and go to sleep >wake up the next day >mfw all of my pimples are gone What the f--- is this black magic sorcery : Anonymous 104 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)05:28:10 No.68729437 >>68729417 (OP) # im trying this tonight this better not be bait
: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:26:19 No.68729417 >be me >in bed >can't sleep so I'm watching p--- >c-- >don't know what to do with the c--, the sink is too far away >heard that semen is really good for your skin 56 KB JPG >just rub it on my face as a joke and go to sleep >wake up the next day >mfw all of my pimples are gone What the f--- is this black magic sorcery : Anonymous 104 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)05:28:10 No.68729437 >>68729417 (OP) # im trying this tonight this better not be bait

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Burning down the house | /r/Greentext

05/22/22(Sun)07:05:05 No.68730090 >my mom asks me to go help her childhood friend who is a redneck boomer tear down a house >begrudgingly say yes >get there, nervous to work as I basically haven't moved in 2 years >he's actually a good guy 1.35 MB WEBM >gives me advice and we talk about life while we're working >after 6 hours of demolishing this house he tosses me a cold beer and gives me a c-------- >we smoke and drink and talk about politics >he gives me $60 for my work, tells me I did good work >I head home drenched in sweat and dirt but proud that I accomplished something Specific feel, i wish my Dad wasnt such a retard f----- and was a good father figure : Anonymous
05/22/22(Sun)07:05:05 No.68730090 >my mom asks me to go help her childhood friend who is a redneck boomer tear down a house >begrudgingly say yes >get there, nervous to work as I basically haven't moved in 2 years >he's actually a good guy 1.35 MB WEBM >gives me advice and we talk about life while we're working >after 6 hours of demolishing this house he tosses me a cold beer and gives me a c-------- >we smoke and drink and talk about politics >he gives me $60 for my work, tells me I did good work >I head home drenched in sweat and dirt but proud that I accomplished something Specific feel, i wish my Dad wasnt such a retard f----- and was a good father figure : Anonymous

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Anon is an expert on camping. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 00 07/05/21(Mon)11:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about 89 KB JPG >Like the idea of camping >Decide I'm going to be the Camp Bro NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 00 07/05/21(Mon)11:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about 89 KB JPG >Like the idea of camping >Decide I'm going to be the Camp Bro NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much 6 Replies View Thread

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You're my superhero | /r/Greentext


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Anon wonders | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight View Thread

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Anon finds out he’s black | /r/Greentext

05/22/22(Sun)11:17:13 No.66867334 : Anonymous Weirdest experience ever What was your weirdest experience at the gym? VE Heres mine >be me 64 KB JPG >mixed white and black >go to gym >have a relatively fit build >do pull-ups >some skinny white dude asks if he can do pull-ups with me >k >"go ahead man” >"aye bro youre black" >wat >"wdym" >"youre black" >i mean hes not wrong >"yeah?" >pats my shoulder >"youre black" >he smiles at me >walks away >mfw a white guy explained in the nicest way possible that im black Has anyone encountered something similar before? Im so confused
05/22/22(Sun)11:17:13 No.66867334 : Anonymous Weirdest experience ever What was your weirdest experience at the gym? VE Heres mine >be me 64 KB JPG >mixed white and black >go to gym >have a relatively fit build >do pull-ups >some skinny white dude asks if he can do pull-ups with me >k >"go ahead man” >"aye bro youre black" >wat >"wdym" >"youre black" >i mean hes not wrong >"yeah?" >pats my shoulder >"youre black" >he smiles at me >walks away >mfw a white guy explained in the nicest way possible that im black Has anyone encountered something similar before? Im so confused

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anon tricks the system | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/23/19(Wed)21:52:08 No.48262613 >pirate game 1 KB PNG >delete it and download it again 9 more times >company loses $600
Anonymous 10/23/19(Wed)21:52:08 No.48262613 >pirate game 1 KB PNG >delete it and download it again 9 more times >company loses $600

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I am Anon lol | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >I'm depressed 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies
Anonymous 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >I'm depressed 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies

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anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 153 KB PNG 05/22/22(Sun) 07:48:15 No.878614079 >hate myself for being a foreveralone virgin >lose my virginity >don't feel any different F---
: Anonymous 153 KB PNG 05/22/22(Sun) 07:48:15 No.878614079 >hate myself for being a foreveralone virgin >lose my virginity >don't feel any different F---

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Anon becomes cool | /r/Greentext

02/24/18(Sat)22:49:12 No.43452373 Anonymous story time >be me >be in 7th grade >obsessed with the movie fight club >start pretending to fight myself because autism 143 KB JPG >people at school ask why i have bruises >tell them i got into fight >with who? >tell them im not gonna snitch >people believe me >tfw people start to think im a little bit cooler due to autism View Thread 1 Reply
02/24/18(Sat)22:49:12 No.43452373 Anonymous story time >be me >be in 7th grade >obsessed with the movie fight club >start pretending to fight myself because autism 143 KB JPG >people at school ask why i have bruises >tell them i got into fight >with who? >tell them im not gonna snitch >people believe me >tfw people start to think im a little bit cooler due to autism View Thread 1 Reply

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Anon got dumped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous !!+mjfJQ4IljD >Be me >Be with girlfriend >Girlfriend cheats on me >I break up >She goes with the guy who cucked me 133 KB PNG >A few weeks passes >I stalk the guy a little >Realize he's a drug dealer >Realize he's not very smart >Make a folder with all the proofs >Send the folder to the police by mail >Local narcotic team thank me >They do their job >Ex gf and drug dealer are both in jail right now Did I do the right thing anon ? 04/22/21(Thu)21:53:41 No.63335714
Anonymous !!+mjfJQ4IljD >Be me >Be with girlfriend >Girlfriend cheats on me >I break up >She goes with the guy who cucked me 133 KB PNG >A few weeks passes >I stalk the guy a little >Realize he's a drug dealer >Realize he's not very smart >Make a folder with all the proofs >Send the folder to the police by mail >Local narcotic team thank me >They do their job >Ex gf and drug dealer are both in jail right now Did I do the right thing anon ? 04/22/21(Thu)21:53:41 No.63335714

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Anon lost the genetic lottery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 KB JPG 05/21/22(Sat)19:12:24 No.878604472 >25% brazillian >25% french >50% filipino my genes are made up of only the worst
Anonymous 26 KB JPG 05/21/22(Sat)19:12:24 No.878604472 >25% brazillian >25% french >50% filipino my genes are made up of only the worst

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laugh..... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous B12 Cobalamin 65 KB JPG >be 12 >vitamin 03/03/18(Sat)09:09:13
: Anonymous B12 Cobalamin 65 KB JPG >be 12 >vitamin 03/03/18(Sat)09:09:13

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Anon goes to 7/11. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ATTEN WHITENTER NGAON 39 KB JPG w-- bros? 05/21/22(Sat)23:55:04 No.68727077 >at 7/11 to get some cash from ATM >some guy is using it so just wander store until he's done >think he's done but he's kind of standing next to it so I'm not sure >as him "hey bro you done with that" >"I'm not your bro bitch ass n----" >exits store
Anonymous ATTEN WHITENTER NGAON 39 KB JPG w-- bros? 05/21/22(Sat)23:55:04 No.68727077 >at 7/11 to get some cash from ATM >some guy is using it so just wander store until he's done >think he's done but he's kind of standing next to it so I'm not sure >as him "hey bro you done with that" >"I'm not your bro bitch ass n----" >exits store

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Anon tries to seduce an older woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me > 19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651
: Anonymous 41 KB JPG >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me > 19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651

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Buy it secondhand | /r/Greentext


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Anon crossdresses | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes on a tinder date | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)20:36:04 No.865947950 weird ass tinder date >me n her meetup, date goes as planned >even get to go back to her house and smash, f--- yeah >finishing up, need to piss >get in the bathroom, prepared to open the floodgates >"anon, dont flush, the toilet has a plumbing issue, you might make it flood." >aight whatever >piss super f------ hard >omw out the door, realize i need to s--- >head back to the bathroom 80 >shockandhorror.jpg >MFW SHE WAS DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET BOWL >she says she lied about the plumbing issue so she could drink my piss >asks me to keep in touch >nope the f--- out of there >block on every platform i f------ hate nashville
Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)20:36:04 No.865947950 weird ass tinder date >me n her meetup, date goes as planned >even get to go back to her house and smash, f--- yeah >finishing up, need to piss >get in the bathroom, prepared to open the floodgates >"anon, dont flush, the toilet has a plumbing issue, you might make it flood." >aight whatever >piss super f------ hard >omw out the door, realize i need to s--- >head back to the bathroom 80 >shockandhorror.jpg >MFW SHE WAS DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET BOWL >she says she lied about the plumbing issue so she could drink my piss >asks me to keep in touch >nope the f--- out of there >block on every platform i f------ hate nashville

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Anon found his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)15:38:39 No.790158110 >Be me 21 >At food store to get food >Go up to cash register >7/10 qt3.14 working >buy food >try to say "Thank you" >Say "love you" instead >MFW autism strikes >She responds "You Too" >We realise we are both autistic >she is now my gf of 2 years.
Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)15:38:39 No.790158110 >Be me 21 >At food store to get food >Go up to cash register >7/10 qt3.14 working >buy food >try to say "Thank you" >Say "love you" instead >MFW autism strikes >She responds "You Too" >We realise we are both autistic >she is now my gf of 2 years.

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Anon loses out to beta orbiters. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 09/09/18(Sun)09:47:11 No.48027679 >go to uni >even the neckbeard fedora autists have gf's >fat landwhales have 4 beta orbiters at a minimum >meanwhile no one talks to me and I'm completely friendless
: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 09/09/18(Sun)09:47:11 No.48027679 >go to uni >even the neckbeard fedora autists have gf's >fat landwhales have 4 beta orbiters at a minimum >meanwhile no one talks to me and I'm completely friendless

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