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Anon becomes cool | /r/Greentext

02/24/18(Sat)22:49:12 No.43452373 Anonymous story time >be me >be in 7th grade >obsessed with the movie fight club >start pretending to fight myself because autism 143 KB JPG >people at school ask why i have bruises >tell them i got into fight >with who? >tell them im not gonna snitch >people believe me >tfw people start to think im a little bit cooler due to autism View Thread 1 Reply
02/24/18(Sat)22:49:12 No.43452373 Anonymous story time >be me >be in 7th grade >obsessed with the movie fight club >start pretending to fight myself because autism 143 KB JPG >people at school ask why i have bruises >tell them i got into fight >with who? >tell them im not gonna snitch >people believe me >tfw people start to think im a little bit cooler due to autism View Thread 1 Reply

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Anon got dumped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous !!+mjfJQ4IljD >Be me >Be with girlfriend >Girlfriend cheats on me >I break up >She goes with the guy who cucked me 133 KB PNG >A few weeks passes >I stalk the guy a little >Realize he's a drug dealer >Realize he's not very smart >Make a folder with all the proofs >Send the folder to the police by mail >Local narcotic team thank me >They do their job >Ex gf and drug dealer are both in jail right now Did I do the right thing anon ? 04/22/21(Thu)21:53:41 No.63335714
Anonymous !!+mjfJQ4IljD >Be me >Be with girlfriend >Girlfriend cheats on me >I break up >She goes with the guy who cucked me 133 KB PNG >A few weeks passes >I stalk the guy a little >Realize he's a drug dealer >Realize he's not very smart >Make a folder with all the proofs >Send the folder to the police by mail >Local narcotic team thank me >They do their job >Ex gf and drug dealer are both in jail right now Did I do the right thing anon ? 04/22/21(Thu)21:53:41 No.63335714

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Anon lost the genetic lottery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 KB JPG 05/21/22(Sat)19:12:24 No.878604472 >25% brazillian >25% french >50% filipino my genes are made up of only the worst
Anonymous 26 KB JPG 05/21/22(Sat)19:12:24 No.878604472 >25% brazillian >25% french >50% filipino my genes are made up of only the worst

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laugh..... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous B12 Cobalamin 65 KB JPG >be 12 >vitamin 03/03/18(Sat)09:09:13
: Anonymous B12 Cobalamin 65 KB JPG >be 12 >vitamin 03/03/18(Sat)09:09:13

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Anon goes to 7/11. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ATTEN WHITENTER NGAON 39 KB JPG w-- bros? 05/21/22(Sat)23:55:04 No.68727077 >at 7/11 to get some cash from ATM >some guy is using it so just wander store until he's done >think he's done but he's kind of standing next to it so I'm not sure >as him "hey bro you done with that" >"I'm not your bro bitch ass n----" >exits store
Anonymous ATTEN WHITENTER NGAON 39 KB JPG w-- bros? 05/21/22(Sat)23:55:04 No.68727077 >at 7/11 to get some cash from ATM >some guy is using it so just wander store until he's done >think he's done but he's kind of standing next to it so I'm not sure >as him "hey bro you done with that" >"I'm not your bro bitch ass n----" >exits store

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Anon tries to seduce an older woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me > 19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651
: Anonymous 41 KB JPG >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me > 19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651

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Buy it secondhand | /r/Greentext


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Anon crossdresses | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes on a tinder date | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)20:36:04 No.865947950 weird ass tinder date >me n her meetup, date goes as planned >even get to go back to her house and smash, f--- yeah >finishing up, need to piss >get in the bathroom, prepared to open the floodgates >"anon, dont flush, the toilet has a plumbing issue, you might make it flood." >aight whatever >piss super f------ hard >omw out the door, realize i need to s--- >head back to the bathroom 80 >shockandhorror.jpg >MFW SHE WAS DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET BOWL >she says she lied about the plumbing issue so she could drink my piss >asks me to keep in touch >nope the f--- out of there >block on every platform i f------ hate nashville
Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)20:36:04 No.865947950 weird ass tinder date >me n her meetup, date goes as planned >even get to go back to her house and smash, f--- yeah >finishing up, need to piss >get in the bathroom, prepared to open the floodgates >"anon, dont flush, the toilet has a plumbing issue, you might make it flood." >aight whatever >piss super f------ hard >omw out the door, realize i need to s--- >head back to the bathroom 80 >shockandhorror.jpg >MFW SHE WAS DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET BOWL >she says she lied about the plumbing issue so she could drink my piss >asks me to keep in touch >nope the f--- out of there >block on every platform i f------ hate nashville

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Anon found his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)15:38:39 No.790158110 >Be me 21 >At food store to get food >Go up to cash register >7/10 qt3.14 working >buy food >try to say "Thank you" >Say "love you" instead >MFW autism strikes >She responds "You Too" >We realise we are both autistic >she is now my gf of 2 years.
Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)15:38:39 No.790158110 >Be me 21 >At food store to get food >Go up to cash register >7/10 qt3.14 working >buy food >try to say "Thank you" >Say "love you" instead >MFW autism strikes >She responds "You Too" >We realise we are both autistic >she is now my gf of 2 years.

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Anon loses out to beta orbiters. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 09/09/18(Sun)09:47:11 No.48027679 >go to uni >even the neckbeard fedora autists have gf's >fat landwhales have 4 beta orbiters at a minimum >meanwhile no one talks to me and I'm completely friendless
: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 09/09/18(Sun)09:47:11 No.48027679 >go to uni >even the neckbeard fedora autists have gf's >fat landwhales have 4 beta orbiters at a minimum >meanwhile no one talks to me and I'm completely friendless

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Anon makes an announcement | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 05/21/22(Sat)11:50:04 No.878579835 >hey 4chan users >friendly reminder to not be racist and commit mass murder because that's not cool
: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 05/21/22(Sat)11:50:04 No.878579835 >hey 4chan users >friendly reminder to not be racist and commit mass murder because that's not cool

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Anon is american | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Born In the USA 06/22/18(Fri)17:34:29 No.6826333 >Be Me >American >Internet's down >Bored >Go Outside 68 KB JPG >Don't get shot because most gun owners are completely cautious and safe people and exceptions are rare >Go back inside >Get stabbed by wife
Anonymous Born In the USA 06/22/18(Fri)17:34:29 No.6826333 >Be Me >American >Internet's down >Bored >Go Outside 68 KB JPG >Don't get shot because most gun owners are completely cautious and safe people and exceptions are rare >Go back inside >Get stabbed by wife

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Anon faces discrimination | /r/Greentext

04/12/22(Tue)09:54:39 No.68186407 : Anonymous Arab tinder 11 KB JPG >install tinder >seldomly match but okay >match with qt3.14 >asks "are you arab?" >say yes >"sorry I don't date arabs" >happens a few times >mfw >be me >arab israeli >hear caucasian friends talk about their tinder experience >"Yeah it's though, all the girls on there are lusting for arabs" >ohshitherewego.webm
04/12/22(Tue)09:54:39 No.68186407 : Anonymous Arab tinder 11 KB JPG >install tinder >seldomly match but okay >match with qt3.14 >asks "are you arab?" >say yes >"sorry I don't date arabs" >happens a few times >mfw >be me >arab israeli >hear caucasian friends talk about their tinder experience >"Yeah it's though, all the girls on there are lusting for arabs" >ohshitherewego.webm

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Anon hates Bulgarians | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)01:54:08 No.149805166 A cop pulls over a car with two Bulgarians. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, "We're looking for two child molesters." 102 KB JPG The Bulgarians look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop. "We'll do it." >>149810182 # >>149812455 #
Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)01:54:08 No.149805166 A cop pulls over a car with two Bulgarians. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, "We're looking for two child molesters." 102 KB JPG The Bulgarians look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop. "We'll do it." >>149810182 # >>149812455 #

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It's not my fault | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me seventh grade >new foreign exchange student from germany >name is Lermond or something >kids make fun of his german accent 21 KB JPG >decide to be his friend >invite him to hang out with my friends >start calling him Ler as a nickname >he's happy to have friends, really nice guy >playing dodgeball against each other in gym class >he's really good, gets me out >point to him and yell to my friend to "hit Ler" >kids start laughing >some start yelling it too >more get in on it >mfw the entire gym class is chanting hitler and pointing to the german exchange student 01/14/19(Mon)17:16:49 No.790014011
: Anonymous >be me seventh grade >new foreign exchange student from germany >name is Lermond or something >kids make fun of his german accent 21 KB JPG >decide to be his friend >invite him to hang out with my friends >start calling him Ler as a nickname >he's happy to have friends, really nice guy >playing dodgeball against each other in gym class >he's really good, gets me out >point to him and yell to my friend to "hit Ler" >kids start laughing >some start yelling it too >more get in on it >mfw the entire gym class is chanting hitler and pointing to the german exchange student 01/14/19(Mon)17:16:49 No.790014011

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Dad beats the shit out of anon | /r/Greentext

10/17/20(Sat)15:37:32 No.838054717 >be me at 15 >share pc with family >dad screams at me >beats me up because I "installed a virus on the pc" >the neighbors call the police because they saw me getting his s--- kicked out Anonymous 20 KB JPG >look at pc >it's the windows 10 update
10/17/20(Sat)15:37:32 No.838054717 >be me at 15 >share pc with family >dad screams at me >beats me up because I "installed a virus on the pc" >the neighbors call the police because they saw me getting his s--- kicked out Anonymous 20 KB JPG >look at pc >it's the windows 10 update

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Anon plays multiplayer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76 KB JPG 05/21/22(Sat)15:08:21 No.878583922 "Hey anyone got mic?" Turns mic on "No." Refuse to talk rest of game
Anonymous 76 KB JPG 05/21/22(Sat)15:08:21 No.878583922 "Hey anyone got mic?" Turns mic on "No." Refuse to talk rest of game

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Anon shares his evil shenanigans. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB PNG 08/29/18 (Wed) 20:42:24 No.47814801 >build big block tower >kick it down >hahahahah > >:D
: Anonymous 31 KB PNG 08/29/18 (Wed) 20:42:24 No.47814801 >build big block tower >kick it down >hahahahah > >:D

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Would you like some taco bell? | /r/Greentext

01/08/19(Tue)03:31:42 No.789437948 Anonymous >be me >hunterfag >sitting out in the cold ass swamp at 6 in the morning doing some duck hunting 49 KB JPG >before first light my stomach starts going f------ nuts >ate Taco Bell for breakfast. >realize I'm about to s--- myself >run behind some tall grass, pull waders down so I can s--- >right as I start I hear something move behind me >I turn my head to look >it's a f------ gator >said gator is now covered in my Taco Bell diarrhea Pic related
01/08/19(Tue)03:31:42 No.789437948 Anonymous >be me >hunterfag >sitting out in the cold ass swamp at 6 in the morning doing some duck hunting 49 KB JPG >before first light my stomach starts going f------ nuts >ate Taco Bell for breakfast. >realize I'm about to s--- myself >run behind some tall grass, pull waders down so I can s--- >right as I start I hear something move behind me >I turn my head to look >it's a f------ gator >said gator is now covered in my Taco Bell diarrhea Pic related

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