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Anon calls out fapper | /r/Greentext

05/21/22(Sat)01:13:12 No.68714957 Is it okay to fap to your close female friends that are barely legal? pic unrelated 05/21/22(Sat)01:16:04 No.68714975 05/21/22(Sat)01:18:09 No.68714995 05/21/22(Sat)01:18:20 No.68714997 05/21/22(Sat)01:30:25 No.68715074 : Anonymous 14 KB PNG : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>68714957 (OP) # B------- anon, we all know you fap to the pic related
05/21/22(Sat)01:13:12 No.68714957 Is it okay to fap to your close female friends that are barely legal? pic unrelated 05/21/22(Sat)01:16:04 No.68714975 05/21/22(Sat)01:18:09 No.68714995 05/21/22(Sat)01:18:20 No.68714997 05/21/22(Sat)01:30:25 No.68715074 : Anonymous 14 KB PNG : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>68714957 (OP) # B------- anon, we all know you fap to the pic related

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Anon makes fun of americans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)08:53:32 No.162998828 >Be unitedstatian >Government allows civilians to own german 88 cannons for self defense >Get shelled because a neighbor saw a black person and didn't want to risk it >It doesn't matter because even a .22 would have passed right through your paper front door anyway >Your house gets hit by a tornado while you wait for an ambulance >They take you to the hospital and miraculously survive >Get charged $9191991919199282819919191919191991 91991091727362771717178902010010988 37176161617177171 + tip Land of the free >>162998853 # >>162998895 # >>162999021 # >>162999182 # >>162999494 #
: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)08:53:32 No.162998828 >Be unitedstatian >Government allows civilians to own german 88 cannons for self defense >Get shelled because a neighbor saw a black person and didn't want to risk it >It doesn't matter because even a .22 would have passed right through your paper front door anyway >Your house gets hit by a tornado while you wait for an ambulance >They take you to the hospital and miraculously survive >Get charged $9191991919199282819919191919191991 91991091727362771717178902010010988 37176161617177171 + tip Land of the free >>162998853 # >>162998895 # >>162999021 # >>162999182 # >>162999494 #

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Well, i mean it kinda work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: aAQ7T/Wi 1.48 MB JPG 05/23/22(Mon)00:46:45 No.15273543 > "How do we make a male character that's appealing to women?" > Takes the average male > Makes them like women
Anonymous (ID: aAQ7T/Wi 1.48 MB JPG 05/23/22(Mon)00:46:45 No.15273543 > "How do we make a male character that's appealing to women?" > Takes the average male > Makes them like women

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Quad-Barrel Blunderbuss


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Anon dated a fembot. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)09:06:30 No.68730997 >date a fembot. My only gf at the time >she liked when I would call her a w----, being slapped during sex, spanked really hard, having her p---- slapped, hand on throat, etc >thought this was just normal for women 83 KB JPG >date a normie girl and try the same because this is just what normal sex is to me >she starts sobbing What the f--- fembots have ruined me for other women APOLOGIZE
Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)09:06:30 No.68730997 >date a fembot. My only gf at the time >she liked when I would call her a w----, being slapped during sex, spanked really hard, having her p---- slapped, hand on throat, etc >thought this was just normal for women 83 KB JPG >date a normie girl and try the same because this is just what normal sex is to me >she starts sobbing What the f--- fembots have ruined me for other women APOLOGIZE

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Anon likes skeletons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5JHcXzx6 Why are USA laws regarding dea(...) 1 05/22/22(Sun)18:27:31 No.378972882 >father dies >he was a massive man, 7'0 on a good day >ask coroner people if I can keep his skeleton >they act like I'm a weirdo and ask why 125 KB JPG >tell them I want to put his giant skelly on display in my house with some cool knight armor on it >they tell me it's illegal to take the body and do that >tell them they can keep the meat, and I'll bury that. I just want the skeleton >get kicked out and interviewed by a cop Why the f--- is the USA so butthurt about this? We glorify all the awesome displays from Europe but I can't do the same with my own father.
: Anonymous (ID: 5JHcXzx6 Why are USA laws regarding dea(...) 1 05/22/22(Sun)18:27:31 No.378972882 >father dies >he was a massive man, 7'0 on a good day >ask coroner people if I can keep his skeleton >they act like I'm a weirdo and ask why 125 KB JPG >tell them I want to put his giant skelly on display in my house with some cool knight armor on it >they tell me it's illegal to take the body and do that >tell them they can keep the meat, and I'll bury that. I just want the skeleton >get kicked out and interviewed by a cop Why the f--- is the USA so butthurt about this? We glorify all the awesome displays from Europe but I can't do the same with my own father.

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Anon has no life. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)10:11:11 No.68732183 >never had alcohol >never had coffee >never had drugs >never took meds >never used a bad word (e.g. s---, f--- or n-----) IRL >never had even a single friend >never had a gf >never had any form of sexual relations >never got into a fight >never played a multiplayer video game >never learned to appreciate music >never broke a bone >never found out what my mental illness is Can you beat me?
Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)10:11:11 No.68732183 >never had alcohol >never had coffee >never had drugs >never took meds >never used a bad word (e.g. s---, f--- or n-----) IRL >never had even a single friend >never had a gf >never had any form of sexual relations >never got into a fight >never played a multiplayer video game >never learned to appreciate music >never broke a bone >never found out what my mental illness is Can you beat me?

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Anon likes the pandemic. | /r/Greentext

04/14/22(Thu)22:18:13 No.876305571 : Anonymous 84 KB JPG >4/10 social anxiety >3/10 confidence Global disaster, personal growth I'm healing /b/ >ugly >10/10 social anxiety >0/10 confidence >pandemic.gif >masks.jpg >hide my ugly face >stay at home 90% of the time
04/14/22(Thu)22:18:13 No.876305571 : Anonymous 84 KB JPG >4/10 social anxiety >3/10 confidence Global disaster, personal growth I'm healing /b/ >ugly >10/10 social anxiety >0/10 confidence >pandemic.gif >masks.jpg >hide my ugly face >stay at home 90% of the time

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

Saare 15965029_1823782704528885_2088726311223753541_n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if I don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related
Saare 15965029_1823782704528885_2088726311223753541_n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if I don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related

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Anon has a toy fire truck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1804906840 158.5 kB PNG 9 min. ago positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck
Anonymous 1804906840 158.5 kB PNG 9 min. ago positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

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Some men just want to watch the world burn | /r/Greentext

07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 : Anonymous Movie idea >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech 20 KB JPG >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues
07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 : Anonymous Movie idea >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech 20 KB JPG >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

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Kiddy cornered | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)09:37:32 No.68731265 >be me >5'8 turbomanlet >need to buy new trousers >none fit my size, as they're apparently all cut for men with much longer legs than mine >ask the female shop assistant >she looks at me in disgust >with a dismissive voice and extra loud she says "Have you tried looking in the section for children's clothing over there?" 271 KB JPG >a few other customers look at me and laugh >I run away crying
: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)09:37:32 No.68731265 >be me >5'8 turbomanlet >need to buy new trousers >none fit my size, as they're apparently all cut for men with much longer legs than mine >ask the female shop assistant >she looks at me in disgust >with a dismissive voice and extra loud she says "Have you tried looking in the section for children's clothing over there?" 271 KB JPG >a few other customers look at me and laugh >I run away crying

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anon at the store | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 M:25 25.00 EUR 2 3 AMOUNT: 4TH 5tx 8 6% 9% 75M ss.jpg 60 KB JPG >Please insert your card >... >Do not remove card >Do not remove card >Do not re- >REMOVE YOUR CARD NOW >REMOVE IT NOW >ARE YOU CRAZY REMOVE IT NOW >OH MY GOD REMOVE IT NOW
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 M:25 25.00 EUR 2 3 AMOUNT: 4TH 5tx 8 6% 9% 75M ss.jpg 60 KB JPG >Please insert your card >... >Do not remove card >Do not remove card >Do not re- >REMOVE YOUR CARD NOW >REMOVE IT NOW >ARE YOU CRAZY REMOVE IT NOW >OH MY GOD REMOVE IT NOW

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anon drink gamer girl juice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous - GamerGirl Pee 19,999.00 pee 34 KB JPG back within minutes >gulp down the whole bottle >feel super tired, fall asleep >wake up, 100% cured holy heck Game 01/24/22(Mon)01:07:30 No.67120343 >get covid >getting worse over 2 week period >come to terms with my death >decide to crack open my gamer girl pee and take a sip, because why not >sense of smell and taste come
Anonymous - GamerGirl Pee 19,999.00 pee 34 KB JPG back within minutes >gulp down the whole bottle >feel super tired, fall asleep >wake up, 100% cured holy heck Game 01/24/22(Mon)01:07:30 No.67120343 >get covid >getting worse over 2 week period >come to terms with my death >decide to crack open my gamer girl pee and take a sip, because why not >sense of smell and taste come

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Anon knows it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: oPwzIKCG) 05/21/22(Sat)16:04:56 No.15268446 I'm sexy 00665d know it 184 KB PNG
Anonymous (ID: oPwzIKCG) 05/21/22(Sat)16:04:56 No.15268446 I'm sexy 00665d know it 184 KB PNG

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Anon loves kebab | /r/Greentext

04/29/22(Fri)17:32:59 No.877174970 : Anonymous >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab 145 KB JPG >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the ,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people
04/29/22(Fri)17:32:59 No.877174970 : Anonymous >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab 145 KB JPG >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the ,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people

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anon talks about ... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/17(Thu)23:02:38 No.745883403 > Enslaved by multiple other races and their own race throughout known history > considered subhuman by many for many years 24 KB JPG > stereotyped as violent, lazy drunkards still to this day > treated as second class citizens in several places > forced to live in ghettos in living memory > businesses used to have signs up prohibiting them from coming in, along with dogs > had their culture stolen and corrupted > costumes that mock their culture is commonplace and accepted > produce unique music only to have it either mocked relentlessly or usurped by others > notorious for homophobia, making it hard for them to come out > their women are highly sexualized and objectified > their accents are also highly sexualized The Irish have had it rough as f---. Pic unrelated.
: Anonymous 09/21/17(Thu)23:02:38 No.745883403 > Enslaved by multiple other races and their own race throughout known history > considered subhuman by many for many years 24 KB JPG > stereotyped as violent, lazy drunkards still to this day > treated as second class citizens in several places > forced to live in ghettos in living memory > businesses used to have signs up prohibiting them from coming in, along with dogs > had their culture stolen and corrupted > costumes that mock their culture is commonplace and accepted > produce unique music only to have it either mocked relentlessly or usurped by others > notorious for homophobia, making it hard for them to come out > their women are highly sexualized and objectified > their accents are also highly sexualized The Irish have had it rough as f---. Pic unrelated.

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Anon is thankful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: YLesrWaa) Oh my God /pol/ ruins your lif(...) 05/14/22(Sat)01:34:16 No.377532619 >be unemployed >have no f------ clue what to do with myself >sending out resumes, nobody responds >basically losing hope >browse/pol/ 7 KB JPG >some guy posts a thread on being an unemployed loser like me >some anon responds "go to a temp agency" >think "f--- it, let me google one and call it" >nowadays I make a decent amount of money >bosses are cool as f--- >work from home >company is well known and has prestige >my life had significantly improved because an anon a few months ago spent a few seconds typing out some basic advice I seriously mean it, thank you based anon, that random comment you made back in August 2021 made everything better.
: Anonymous (ID: YLesrWaa) Oh my God /pol/ ruins your lif(...) 05/14/22(Sat)01:34:16 No.377532619 >be unemployed >have no f------ clue what to do with myself >sending out resumes, nobody responds >basically losing hope >browse/pol/ 7 KB JPG >some guy posts a thread on being an unemployed loser like me >some anon responds "go to a temp agency" >think "f--- it, let me google one and call it" >nowadays I make a decent amount of money >bosses are cool as f--- >work from home >company is well known and has prestige >my life had significantly improved because an anon a few months ago spent a few seconds typing out some basic advice I seriously mean it, thank you based anon, that random comment you made back in August 2021 made everything better.

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Anon goes into the woods | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Yesterday 1413695 innawoods autism thread >be me >cub scouts camping trip >its getting dark >scout master tells us to get wood n s--- for a bonfire >go about 20 feet away from camp >see the perfect stick >grab it >its a rattlesnake tail >too retarded to run away >bring it over my head and swing it in circles >the snake can't come back and bite me >shout for help >everyone comes >sees me using a snake like a lasso >kids laughing, adults s------- pants >tell me to hit the snake against a tree as hard as I can >hope it breaks its neck >whip its head at mach speed into the biggest tree I could find >head explodes >adults don't know whether to congratulate or punish me >other kids think I'm hardcore >mfw my nickname was snake charmer from then on
Anonymous Yesterday 1413695 innawoods autism thread >be me >cub scouts camping trip >its getting dark >scout master tells us to get wood n s--- for a bonfire >go about 20 feet away from camp >see the perfect stick >grab it >its a rattlesnake tail >too retarded to run away >bring it over my head and swing it in circles >the snake can't come back and bite me >shout for help >everyone comes >sees me using a snake like a lasso >kids laughing, adults s------- pants >tell me to hit the snake against a tree as hard as I can >hope it breaks its neck >whip its head at mach speed into the biggest tree I could find >head explodes >adults don't know whether to congratulate or punish me >other kids think I'm hardcore >mfw my nickname was snake charmer from then on

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Full facial | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:26:19 No.68729417 >be me >in bed >can't sleep so I'm watching p--- >c-- >don't know what to do with the c--, the sink is too far away >heard that semen is really good for your skin 56 KB JPG >just rub it on my face as a joke and go to sleep >wake up the next day >mfw all of my pimples are gone What the f--- is this black magic sorcery : Anonymous 104 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)05:28:10 No.68729437 >>68729417 (OP) # im trying this tonight this better not be bait
: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:26:19 No.68729417 >be me >in bed >can't sleep so I'm watching p--- >c-- >don't know what to do with the c--, the sink is too far away >heard that semen is really good for your skin 56 KB JPG >just rub it on my face as a joke and go to sleep >wake up the next day >mfw all of my pimples are gone What the f--- is this black magic sorcery : Anonymous 104 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)05:28:10 No.68729437 >>68729417 (OP) # im trying this tonight this better not be bait

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