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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

Saare 15965029_1823782704528885_2088726311223753541_n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if I don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related
Saare 15965029_1823782704528885_2088726311223753541_n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if I don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related

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Anon has a toy fire truck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1804906840 158.5 kB PNG 9 min. ago positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck
Anonymous 1804906840 158.5 kB PNG 9 min. ago positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

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Some men just want to watch the world burn | /r/Greentext

07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 : Anonymous Movie idea >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech 20 KB JPG >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues
07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 : Anonymous Movie idea >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech 20 KB JPG >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

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Kiddy cornered | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)09:37:32 No.68731265 >be me >5'8 turbomanlet >need to buy new trousers >none fit my size, as they're apparently all cut for men with much longer legs than mine >ask the female shop assistant >she looks at me in disgust >with a dismissive voice and extra loud she says "Have you tried looking in the section for children's clothing over there?" 271 KB JPG >a few other customers look at me and laugh >I run away crying
: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)09:37:32 No.68731265 >be me >5'8 turbomanlet >need to buy new trousers >none fit my size, as they're apparently all cut for men with much longer legs than mine >ask the female shop assistant >she looks at me in disgust >with a dismissive voice and extra loud she says "Have you tried looking in the section for children's clothing over there?" 271 KB JPG >a few other customers look at me and laugh >I run away crying

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anon at the store | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 M:25 25.00 EUR 2 3 AMOUNT: 4TH 5tx 8 6% 9% 75M ss.jpg 60 KB JPG >Please insert your card >... >Do not remove card >Do not remove card >Do not re- >REMOVE YOUR CARD NOW >REMOVE IT NOW >ARE YOU CRAZY REMOVE IT NOW >OH MY GOD REMOVE IT NOW
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 M:25 25.00 EUR 2 3 AMOUNT: 4TH 5tx 8 6% 9% 75M ss.jpg 60 KB JPG >Please insert your card >... >Do not remove card >Do not remove card >Do not re- >REMOVE YOUR CARD NOW >REMOVE IT NOW >ARE YOU CRAZY REMOVE IT NOW >OH MY GOD REMOVE IT NOW

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anon drink gamer girl juice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous - GamerGirl Pee 19,999.00 pee 34 KB JPG back within minutes >gulp down the whole bottle >feel super tired, fall asleep >wake up, 100% cured holy heck Game 01/24/22(Mon)01:07:30 No.67120343 >get covid >getting worse over 2 week period >come to terms with my death >decide to crack open my gamer girl pee and take a sip, because why not >sense of smell and taste come
Anonymous - GamerGirl Pee 19,999.00 pee 34 KB JPG back within minutes >gulp down the whole bottle >feel super tired, fall asleep >wake up, 100% cured holy heck Game 01/24/22(Mon)01:07:30 No.67120343 >get covid >getting worse over 2 week period >come to terms with my death >decide to crack open my gamer girl pee and take a sip, because why not >sense of smell and taste come

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Anon knows it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: oPwzIKCG) 05/21/22(Sat)16:04:56 No.15268446 I'm sexy 00665d know it 184 KB PNG
Anonymous (ID: oPwzIKCG) 05/21/22(Sat)16:04:56 No.15268446 I'm sexy 00665d know it 184 KB PNG

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Anon loves kebab | /r/Greentext

04/29/22(Fri)17:32:59 No.877174970 : Anonymous >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab 145 KB JPG >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the ,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people
04/29/22(Fri)17:32:59 No.877174970 : Anonymous >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab 145 KB JPG >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the ,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people

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anon talks about ... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/17(Thu)23:02:38 No.745883403 > Enslaved by multiple other races and their own race throughout known history > considered subhuman by many for many years 24 KB JPG > stereotyped as violent, lazy drunkards still to this day > treated as second class citizens in several places > forced to live in ghettos in living memory > businesses used to have signs up prohibiting them from coming in, along with dogs > had their culture stolen and corrupted > costumes that mock their culture is commonplace and accepted > produce unique music only to have it either mocked relentlessly or usurped by others > notorious for homophobia, making it hard for them to come out > their women are highly sexualized and objectified > their accents are also highly sexualized The Irish have had it rough as f---. Pic unrelated.
: Anonymous 09/21/17(Thu)23:02:38 No.745883403 > Enslaved by multiple other races and their own race throughout known history > considered subhuman by many for many years 24 KB JPG > stereotyped as violent, lazy drunkards still to this day > treated as second class citizens in several places > forced to live in ghettos in living memory > businesses used to have signs up prohibiting them from coming in, along with dogs > had their culture stolen and corrupted > costumes that mock their culture is commonplace and accepted > produce unique music only to have it either mocked relentlessly or usurped by others > notorious for homophobia, making it hard for them to come out > their women are highly sexualized and objectified > their accents are also highly sexualized The Irish have had it rough as f---. Pic unrelated.

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Anon is thankful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: YLesrWaa) Oh my God /pol/ ruins your lif(...) 05/14/22(Sat)01:34:16 No.377532619 >be unemployed >have no f------ clue what to do with myself >sending out resumes, nobody responds >basically losing hope >browse/pol/ 7 KB JPG >some guy posts a thread on being an unemployed loser like me >some anon responds "go to a temp agency" >think "f--- it, let me google one and call it" >nowadays I make a decent amount of money >bosses are cool as f--- >work from home >company is well known and has prestige >my life had significantly improved because an anon a few months ago spent a few seconds typing out some basic advice I seriously mean it, thank you based anon, that random comment you made back in August 2021 made everything better.
: Anonymous (ID: YLesrWaa) Oh my God /pol/ ruins your lif(...) 05/14/22(Sat)01:34:16 No.377532619 >be unemployed >have no f------ clue what to do with myself >sending out resumes, nobody responds >basically losing hope >browse/pol/ 7 KB JPG >some guy posts a thread on being an unemployed loser like me >some anon responds "go to a temp agency" >think "f--- it, let me google one and call it" >nowadays I make a decent amount of money >bosses are cool as f--- >work from home >company is well known and has prestige >my life had significantly improved because an anon a few months ago spent a few seconds typing out some basic advice I seriously mean it, thank you based anon, that random comment you made back in August 2021 made everything better.

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Anon goes into the woods | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Yesterday 1413695 innawoods autism thread >be me >cub scouts camping trip >its getting dark >scout master tells us to get wood n s--- for a bonfire >go about 20 feet away from camp >see the perfect stick >grab it >its a rattlesnake tail >too retarded to run away >bring it over my head and swing it in circles >the snake can't come back and bite me >shout for help >everyone comes >sees me using a snake like a lasso >kids laughing, adults s------- pants >tell me to hit the snake against a tree as hard as I can >hope it breaks its neck >whip its head at mach speed into the biggest tree I could find >head explodes >adults don't know whether to congratulate or punish me >other kids think I'm hardcore >mfw my nickname was snake charmer from then on
Anonymous Yesterday 1413695 innawoods autism thread >be me >cub scouts camping trip >its getting dark >scout master tells us to get wood n s--- for a bonfire >go about 20 feet away from camp >see the perfect stick >grab it >its a rattlesnake tail >too retarded to run away >bring it over my head and swing it in circles >the snake can't come back and bite me >shout for help >everyone comes >sees me using a snake like a lasso >kids laughing, adults s------- pants >tell me to hit the snake against a tree as hard as I can >hope it breaks its neck >whip its head at mach speed into the biggest tree I could find >head explodes >adults don't know whether to congratulate or punish me >other kids think I'm hardcore >mfw my nickname was snake charmer from then on

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Full facial | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:26:19 No.68729417 >be me >in bed >can't sleep so I'm watching p--- >c-- >don't know what to do with the c--, the sink is too far away >heard that semen is really good for your skin 56 KB JPG >just rub it on my face as a joke and go to sleep >wake up the next day >mfw all of my pimples are gone What the f--- is this black magic sorcery : Anonymous 104 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)05:28:10 No.68729437 >>68729417 (OP) # im trying this tonight this better not be bait
: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:26:19 No.68729417 >be me >in bed >can't sleep so I'm watching p--- >c-- >don't know what to do with the c--, the sink is too far away >heard that semen is really good for your skin 56 KB JPG >just rub it on my face as a joke and go to sleep >wake up the next day >mfw all of my pimples are gone What the f--- is this black magic sorcery : Anonymous 104 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)05:28:10 No.68729437 >>68729417 (OP) # im trying this tonight this better not be bait

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Burning down the house | /r/Greentext

05/22/22(Sun)07:05:05 No.68730090 >my mom asks me to go help her childhood friend who is a redneck boomer tear down a house >begrudgingly say yes >get there, nervous to work as I basically haven't moved in 2 years >he's actually a good guy 1.35 MB WEBM >gives me advice and we talk about life while we're working >after 6 hours of demolishing this house he tosses me a cold beer and gives me a c-------- >we smoke and drink and talk about politics >he gives me $60 for my work, tells me I did good work >I head home drenched in sweat and dirt but proud that I accomplished something Specific feel, i wish my Dad wasnt such a retard f----- and was a good father figure : Anonymous
05/22/22(Sun)07:05:05 No.68730090 >my mom asks me to go help her childhood friend who is a redneck boomer tear down a house >begrudgingly say yes >get there, nervous to work as I basically haven't moved in 2 years >he's actually a good guy 1.35 MB WEBM >gives me advice and we talk about life while we're working >after 6 hours of demolishing this house he tosses me a cold beer and gives me a c-------- >we smoke and drink and talk about politics >he gives me $60 for my work, tells me I did good work >I head home drenched in sweat and dirt but proud that I accomplished something Specific feel, i wish my Dad wasnt such a retard f----- and was a good father figure : Anonymous

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Anon is an expert on camping. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 00 07/05/21(Mon)11:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about 89 KB JPG >Like the idea of camping >Decide I'm going to be the Camp Bro NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 00 07/05/21(Mon)11:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about 89 KB JPG >Like the idea of camping >Decide I'm going to be the Camp Bro NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much 6 Replies View Thread

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You're my superhero | /r/Greentext


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Anon wonders | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight View Thread

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Anon finds out he’s black | /r/Greentext

05/22/22(Sun)11:17:13 No.66867334 : Anonymous Weirdest experience ever What was your weirdest experience at the gym? VE Heres mine >be me 64 KB JPG >mixed white and black >go to gym >have a relatively fit build >do pull-ups >some skinny white dude asks if he can do pull-ups with me >k >"go ahead man” >"aye bro youre black" >wat >"wdym" >"youre black" >i mean hes not wrong >"yeah?" >pats my shoulder >"youre black" >he smiles at me >walks away >mfw a white guy explained in the nicest way possible that im black Has anyone encountered something similar before? Im so confused
05/22/22(Sun)11:17:13 No.66867334 : Anonymous Weirdest experience ever What was your weirdest experience at the gym? VE Heres mine >be me 64 KB JPG >mixed white and black >go to gym >have a relatively fit build >do pull-ups >some skinny white dude asks if he can do pull-ups with me >k >"go ahead man” >"aye bro youre black" >wat >"wdym" >"youre black" >i mean hes not wrong >"yeah?" >pats my shoulder >"youre black" >he smiles at me >walks away >mfw a white guy explained in the nicest way possible that im black Has anyone encountered something similar before? Im so confused

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anon tricks the system | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/23/19(Wed)21:52:08 No.48262613 >pirate game 1 KB PNG >delete it and download it again 9 more times >company loses $600
Anonymous 10/23/19(Wed)21:52:08 No.48262613 >pirate game 1 KB PNG >delete it and download it again 9 more times >company loses $600

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I am Anon lol | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >I'm depressed 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies
Anonymous 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >I'm depressed 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies

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anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 153 KB PNG 05/22/22(Sun) 07:48:15 No.878614079 >hate myself for being a foreveralone virgin >lose my virginity >don't feel any different F---
: Anonymous 153 KB PNG 05/22/22(Sun) 07:48:15 No.878614079 >hate myself for being a foreveralone virgin >lose my virginity >don't feel any different F---

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