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Mean Mr. Mustard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)17:54:57 No.68737017 Any other failed normalshits here? >first job worked at this sandwich place >meet this insanely cute red head >she works with me most days >we start getting along really well >one day we're in the walk in together >she squirts a bottle of honey mustard at me >block it with my hand >its all over my fingers >try to wipe the honey mustard fingers on her face >she grabs my hand and literally sucks the honey mustard off of my fingers >moves her mouth up and down my finger and licks the end of it >im the hardest ive ever been in my entire life >she gives me this smile as she walks out of the walk-in >I quit the next day because I was so scared of making a fool out of myself God I was so f------ retarded at 16
: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)17:54:57 No.68737017 Any other failed normalshits here? >first job worked at this sandwich place >meet this insanely cute red head >she works with me most days >we start getting along really well >one day we're in the walk in together >she squirts a bottle of honey mustard at me >block it with my hand >its all over my fingers >try to wipe the honey mustard fingers on her face >she grabs my hand and literally sucks the honey mustard off of my fingers >moves her mouth up and down my finger and licks the end of it >im the hardest ive ever been in my entire life >she gives me this smile as she walks out of the walk-in >I quit the next day because I was so scared of making a fool out of myself God I was so f------ retarded at 16

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Anon wonders about monkeypox | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: wUGSAOJG) >me be >sad frog > go to nature wilderness time > traverse the mountains and ford the rivers > rise with the sun and sleep with the stars 6 KB JPG > feel happy > come home > w-- is monkeypox > mfw I realize i'm about to be put under house arrest again you guys were right about covid. What the f--- is monkeypox? 006657 05/23/22 (Mon)00:45:50 No.379012823 00665745090 0066575
Anonymous (ID: wUGSAOJG) >me be >sad frog > go to nature wilderness time > traverse the mountains and ford the rivers > rise with the sun and sleep with the stars 6 KB JPG > feel happy > come home > w-- is monkeypox > mfw I realize i'm about to be put under house arrest again you guys were right about covid. What the f--- is monkeypox? 006657 05/23/22 (Mon)00:45:50 No.379012823 00665745090 0066575

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Anon likes the Space Force | /r/Greentext

05/22/22(Sun)19:16:47 No.87048599 Anonymous USA Space Force Go! I wanted to join the Space Force as a programmer, but they wouldn't take me because I have diagnosed schizo so I'm not fit for military service. I was confused because I don't want a gun or a rocket I just want IntelliJ and like some office snacks. 79 KB PNG So I got a different programmer job making not Space code. Now every time I go on the internet I get Space Force joining ads. Do they want me to join now? Did they change the standard because of Russia? Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)19:18:33 No.87048620 >>87048599 (OP) What makes you think a schizo should be given security clearance to anything?
05/22/22(Sun)19:16:47 No.87048599 Anonymous USA Space Force Go! I wanted to join the Space Force as a programmer, but they wouldn't take me because I have diagnosed schizo so I'm not fit for military service. I was confused because I don't want a gun or a rocket I just want IntelliJ and like some office snacks. 79 KB PNG So I got a different programmer job making not Space code. Now every time I go on the internet I get Space Force joining ads. Do they want me to join now? Did they change the standard because of Russia? Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)19:18:33 No.87048620 >>87048599 (OP) What makes you think a schizo should be given security clearance to anything?

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Anon's neigbors are GoT fans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)20:07:00 No.20405277 1547513629133.gif 2.51 MB GIF >>20405247 # > neighbors were typical GoT fans, shows only never the books "don't have time for it lol!" >named their eldest daughter Daenerys >see them altogether a few weeks after the finale aired >insisted that the daughter's name is Daniella
: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)20:07:00 No.20405277 1547513629133.gif 2.51 MB GIF >>20405247 # > neighbors were typical GoT fans, shows only never the books "don't have time for it lol!" >named their eldest daughter Daenerys >see them altogether a few weeks after the finale aired >insisted that the daughter's name is Daniella

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Simply the best. Love it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/12 (Fri)21:23 No.147872126 [] >>147872228 1341708121363.png (376 KB, 900x702) iqdb google >press any button to continue >press the power button >pc turns off
Anonymous 07/20/12 (Fri)21:23 No.147872126 [] >>147872228 1341708121363.png (376 KB, 900x702) iqdb google >press any button to continue >press the power button >pc turns off

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Under the arches of gold | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/21(Sun)20:50:51 No.65888397 >Meet female friend (not gf, but I do have a mild crush on her) in a cafe >decide to pay for both of us, because I have a well paid job while she is in university and broke af 32 KB JPG >after we meed a few times she tells me she doesnt want me to pay for her, she doesnt want to seem like a beggar >she wants to pay for me too instead >when I refuse and tell her she no income while I make 2.5k every month she gets p----- tf is wrong with that thot : Anonymous 10/24/21(Sun)20:59:41 No.65888475 M >well paid job >2500 a month How's the mcdonalds job going anon? 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/24/21(Sun)20:50:51 No.65888397 >Meet female friend (not gf, but I do have a mild crush on her) in a cafe >decide to pay for both of us, because I have a well paid job while she is in university and broke af 32 KB JPG >after we meed a few times she tells me she doesnt want me to pay for her, she doesnt want to seem like a beggar >she wants to pay for me too instead >when I refuse and tell her she no income while I make 2.5k every month she gets p----- tf is wrong with that thot : Anonymous 10/24/21(Sun)20:59:41 No.65888475 M >well paid job >2500 a month How's the mcdonalds job going anon? 40 KB JPG

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Anon helps the challenged | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug
Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug

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The end is near for UK anons | /r/Greentext

12/24/20(Thu)09:33:41 No.18300540 >The Ottoman Empire decriminalized homosexuality in 1858 >The UK decriminalized homosexuality in 1967 Good Lord Bongland is a special kind of f----- isn't it 12/24/20(Thu)09:35:53 No.18300556 : Anonymous 166 KB PNG : Anonymous >>18300540 (OP) # >ottoman empire collapsed 50 years later >UK collapsing now Really makes you think
12/24/20(Thu)09:33:41 No.18300540 >The Ottoman Empire decriminalized homosexuality in 1858 >The UK decriminalized homosexuality in 1967 Good Lord Bongland is a special kind of f----- isn't it 12/24/20(Thu)09:35:53 No.18300556 : Anonymous 166 KB PNG : Anonymous >>18300540 (OP) # >ottoman empire collapsed 50 years later >UK collapsing now Really makes you think

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Femanon and mating calls | /r/Greentext

File: 1294722426.jpg-(6 KB, 251x199, crab.jpg) Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:07:06 No.301513XXX Femanon here I just need some quick advice. My boyfriend is into weird things sexually. Like just the other day I was in his room and I was about to go lie down with him when he said: "CRAB WALK TO THE DRESSER, PUT ON LINGERIE, THEN CRAB WALK TO MY BED." So I did what he said then I got on his bed. Then he said to me: May-25 10 "MAKE UP A MATING CALL." I told him I didn't know any so he said: "MAKE UP ONE!!!" So I started going HORK HORK HORK Then he got a boner and started going WHERG WHERG WHERG. We had sex but I'm still feeling really weird about the whole thing. Do I tell him how I feel, or do I play along with this roleplay of his? Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:08:44 No.301514XXX i cant stop laughing Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:08:47 No.301514XXX that did make me go lol Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:09:20 No.301514XXX this is f------ hilarious
File: 1294722426.jpg-(6 KB, 251x199, crab.jpg) Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:07:06 No.301513XXX Femanon here I just need some quick advice. My boyfriend is into weird things sexually. Like just the other day I was in his room and I was about to go lie down with him when he said: "CRAB WALK TO THE DRESSER, PUT ON LINGERIE, THEN CRAB WALK TO MY BED." So I did what he said then I got on his bed. Then he said to me: May-25 10 "MAKE UP A MATING CALL." I told him I didn't know any so he said: "MAKE UP ONE!!!" So I started going HORK HORK HORK Then he got a boner and started going WHERG WHERG WHERG. We had sex but I'm still feeling really weird about the whole thing. Do I tell him how I feel, or do I play along with this roleplay of his? Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:08:44 No.301514XXX i cant stop laughing Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:08:47 No.301514XXX that did make me go lol Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:09:20 No.301514XXX this is f------ hilarious

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It's my turn to post this. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a fucking idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue)16:38:33 No.63628255 >tip $1,200 to female streamer >she simply says "thx for the tip" then goes back to playing the game
: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue)16:38:33 No.63628255 >tip $1,200 to female streamer >she simply says "thx for the tip" then goes back to playing the game

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Daddy's girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)03:31:45 No.68728679 So I was ficing my dads laptop >The problem was he forgot the internet login and he somehow unconnected his laptopt from the internet And it turns out he has a whole stash of loli p--- hidden solely behind a folder called taxes
: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)03:31:45 No.68728679 So I was ficing my dads laptop >The problem was he forgot the internet login and he somehow unconnected his laptopt from the internet And it turns out he has a whole stash of loli p--- hidden solely behind a folder called taxes

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Anon is the Nixon guy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I have a problem... 05/22/22(Sun)18:35:58 No.6071922 >be me, get interested in drawing caricatures >look for recognisable politician with notable features to learn the style 104 KB JPG >pick Richard Nixon and JFK to start off with >Nixon was much easier than JFK >Start experimenting with different styles >start with Nixon every time habitually because I know his features by heart >all my drawings have Nixon on them >all friends and family who I ask for critique now know me as the Nixon guy >cousin drew Nixon on my birthday card as a present >can't stop drawing him What do anons? Should I just fully embrace being the Nixon guy? I heard girls love a peak at a Tricky D--- S
Anonymous I have a problem... 05/22/22(Sun)18:35:58 No.6071922 >be me, get interested in drawing caricatures >look for recognisable politician with notable features to learn the style 104 KB JPG >pick Richard Nixon and JFK to start off with >Nixon was much easier than JFK >Start experimenting with different styles >start with Nixon every time habitually because I know his features by heart >all my drawings have Nixon on them >all friends and family who I ask for critique now know me as the Nixon guy >cousin drew Nixon on my birthday card as a present >can't stop drawing him What do anons? Should I just fully embrace being the Nixon guy? I heard girls love a peak at a Tricky D--- S

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Anon is very busy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous B 8 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image 01/09/19(Wed)21:23:49 No.789583097 >be me >play minecraft >use hoe later, virgins View Thread
: Anonymous B 8 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image 01/09/19(Wed)21:23:49 No.789583097 >be me >play minecraft >use hoe later, virgins View Thread

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anon gets the chance to reject | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 426 KB PNG 05/22/22(Sun)22:59:25 No.878652624 >be me >lost a bunch of weight >finally decided to go on dating app >actually get a like >she wasn't overweight but was mixed >decline >mfw I'm the one rejecting now >feels good man
: Anonymous 426 KB PNG 05/22/22(Sun)22:59:25 No.878652624 >be me >lost a bunch of weight >finally decided to go on dating app >actually get a like >she wasn't overweight but was mixed >decline >mfw I'm the one rejecting now >feels good man

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well its true tho | /r/Greentext

Anonymous MUSPEDSC1290245506 44 mins. ago TRANSGENDER WOMAN BECOMES MISS NEW ZEALAND 2020 W-- is wrong with you kiwis? https://www.boredpanda.com/transgender -woman-crowned-miss-intercontinental -new-zealand-2020/ 122 B JPG Anonymous 2Tm3 Tr5s | 290248383 30 mins. ago >>290245506 (OP) This proves once again that men are better at everything. Even being a women.
Anonymous MUSPEDSC1290245506 44 mins. ago TRANSGENDER WOMAN BECOMES MISS NEW ZEALAND 2020 W-- is wrong with you kiwis? https://www.boredpanda.com/transgender -woman-crowned-miss-intercontinental -new-zealand-2020/ 122 B JPG Anonymous 2Tm3 Tr5s | 290248383 30 mins. ago >>290245506 (OP) This proves once again that men are better at everything. Even being a women.

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Anon exposes Africa | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/17(Wed)09:11:28 No.79676775 >>79675930 # This reminds me of something I read from the Bush War >Rhodies recover enemy rifles after each engagement >They keep finding rifles with the rear sight dialed in to the highest setting, practically f------ indirect fire >They are extremely confused by this >Eventually they ask a prisoner about it during interrogation >Literally none of them know what the sights are for, they think that choosing the bigger number makes the gun shoot harder Warfare in Africa is truly unbelievable >>79678011 # >>79678022 # >>79678742 #
: Anonymous 02/22/17(Wed)09:11:28 No.79676775 >>79675930 # This reminds me of something I read from the Bush War >Rhodies recover enemy rifles after each engagement >They keep finding rifles with the rear sight dialed in to the highest setting, practically f------ indirect fire >They are extremely confused by this >Eventually they ask a prisoner about it during interrogation >Literally none of them know what the sights are for, they think that choosing the bigger number makes the gun shoot harder Warfare in Africa is truly unbelievable >>79678011 # >>79678022 # >>79678742 #

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Anon is skinny. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)16:57:41 No.68737041 [Reply] >>68737113 >>68737531 >be me >average weight, by no means underweight >hanging out with friends & family >"hey anon, want some food?" >"no thanks, im not hungry" >constantly get pestered by family & friends telling me to eat more >"do you ever even eat anon" >"anon youre anorexic lol" >"you know having an appetite is attractive right anon" Stop trying to make me fat you f------ losers, I'll eat when I'm hungry.
Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)16:57:41 No.68737041 [Reply] >>68737113 >>68737531 >be me >average weight, by no means underweight >hanging out with friends & family >"hey anon, want some food?" >"no thanks, im not hungry" >constantly get pestered by family & friends telling me to eat more >"do you ever even eat anon" >"anon youre anorexic lol" >"you know having an appetite is attractive right anon" Stop trying to make me fat you f------ losers, I'll eat when I'm hungry.

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Anon writes shit code | /r/Greentext

#5, No. 86797043 1 hour ago 9187fj3nyxz31 JPG 1062x1080 146.7 kB >write s--- code >has bugs >boss says fix bugs to get money >infinite money cheat irl
#5, No. 86797043 1 hour ago 9187fj3nyxz31 JPG 1062x1080 146.7 kB >write s--- code >has bugs >boss says fix bugs to get money >infinite money cheat irl

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As sharp as a pin! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's cop an undercover > how f------ cool is that for someone her age No.515425318
Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's cop an undercover > how f------ cool is that for someone her age No.515425318

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