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Femanon and mating calls | /r/Greentext

File: 1294722426.jpg-(6 KB, 251x199, crab.jpg) Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:07:06 No.301513XXX Femanon here I just need some quick advice. My boyfriend is into weird things sexually. Like just the other day I was in his room and I was about to go lie down with him when he said: "CRAB WALK TO THE DRESSER, PUT ON LINGERIE, THEN CRAB WALK TO MY BED." So I did what he said then I got on his bed. Then he said to me: May-25 10 "MAKE UP A MATING CALL." I told him I didn't know any so he said: "MAKE UP ONE!!!" So I started going HORK HORK HORK Then he got a boner and started going WHERG WHERG WHERG. We had sex but I'm still feeling really weird about the whole thing. Do I tell him how I feel, or do I play along with this roleplay of his? Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:08:44 No.301514XXX i cant stop laughing Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:08:47 No.301514XXX that did make me go lol Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:09:20 No.301514XXX this is f------ hilarious
File: 1294722426.jpg-(6 KB, 251x199, crab.jpg) Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:07:06 No.301513XXX Femanon here I just need some quick advice. My boyfriend is into weird things sexually. Like just the other day I was in his room and I was about to go lie down with him when he said: "CRAB WALK TO THE DRESSER, PUT ON LINGERIE, THEN CRAB WALK TO MY BED." So I did what he said then I got on his bed. Then he said to me: May-25 10 "MAKE UP A MATING CALL." I told him I didn't know any so he said: "MAKE UP ONE!!!" So I started going HORK HORK HORK Then he got a boner and started going WHERG WHERG WHERG. We had sex but I'm still feeling really weird about the whole thing. Do I tell him how I feel, or do I play along with this roleplay of his? Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:08:44 No.301514XXX i cant stop laughing Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:08:47 No.301514XXX that did make me go lol Anonymous 01/11/11 (Tue)00:09:20 No.301514XXX this is f------ hilarious

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It's my turn to post this. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a fucking idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue)16:38:33 No.63628255 >tip $1,200 to female streamer >she simply says "thx for the tip" then goes back to playing the game
: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue)16:38:33 No.63628255 >tip $1,200 to female streamer >she simply says "thx for the tip" then goes back to playing the game

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Daddy's girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)03:31:45 No.68728679 So I was ficing my dads laptop >The problem was he forgot the internet login and he somehow unconnected his laptopt from the internet And it turns out he has a whole stash of loli p--- hidden solely behind a folder called taxes
: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 05/22/22(Sun)03:31:45 No.68728679 So I was ficing my dads laptop >The problem was he forgot the internet login and he somehow unconnected his laptopt from the internet And it turns out he has a whole stash of loli p--- hidden solely behind a folder called taxes

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Anon is the Nixon guy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I have a problem... 05/22/22(Sun)18:35:58 No.6071922 >be me, get interested in drawing caricatures >look for recognisable politician with notable features to learn the style 104 KB JPG >pick Richard Nixon and JFK to start off with >Nixon was much easier than JFK >Start experimenting with different styles >start with Nixon every time habitually because I know his features by heart >all my drawings have Nixon on them >all friends and family who I ask for critique now know me as the Nixon guy >cousin drew Nixon on my birthday card as a present >can't stop drawing him What do anons? Should I just fully embrace being the Nixon guy? I heard girls love a peak at a Tricky D--- S
Anonymous I have a problem... 05/22/22(Sun)18:35:58 No.6071922 >be me, get interested in drawing caricatures >look for recognisable politician with notable features to learn the style 104 KB JPG >pick Richard Nixon and JFK to start off with >Nixon was much easier than JFK >Start experimenting with different styles >start with Nixon every time habitually because I know his features by heart >all my drawings have Nixon on them >all friends and family who I ask for critique now know me as the Nixon guy >cousin drew Nixon on my birthday card as a present >can't stop drawing him What do anons? Should I just fully embrace being the Nixon guy? I heard girls love a peak at a Tricky D--- S

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Anon is very busy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous B 8 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image 01/09/19(Wed)21:23:49 No.789583097 >be me >play minecraft >use hoe later, virgins View Thread
: Anonymous B 8 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image 01/09/19(Wed)21:23:49 No.789583097 >be me >play minecraft >use hoe later, virgins View Thread

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anon gets the chance to reject | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 426 KB PNG 05/22/22(Sun)22:59:25 No.878652624 >be me >lost a bunch of weight >finally decided to go on dating app >actually get a like >she wasn't overweight but was mixed >decline >mfw I'm the one rejecting now >feels good man
: Anonymous 426 KB PNG 05/22/22(Sun)22:59:25 No.878652624 >be me >lost a bunch of weight >finally decided to go on dating app >actually get a like >she wasn't overweight but was mixed >decline >mfw I'm the one rejecting now >feels good man

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well its true tho | /r/Greentext

Anonymous MUSPEDSC1290245506 44 mins. ago TRANSGENDER WOMAN BECOMES MISS NEW ZEALAND 2020 W-- is wrong with you kiwis? https://www.boredpanda.com/transgender -woman-crowned-miss-intercontinental -new-zealand-2020/ 122 B JPG Anonymous 2Tm3 Tr5s | 290248383 30 mins. ago >>290245506 (OP) This proves once again that men are better at everything. Even being a women.
Anonymous MUSPEDSC1290245506 44 mins. ago TRANSGENDER WOMAN BECOMES MISS NEW ZEALAND 2020 W-- is wrong with you kiwis? https://www.boredpanda.com/transgender -woman-crowned-miss-intercontinental -new-zealand-2020/ 122 B JPG Anonymous 2Tm3 Tr5s | 290248383 30 mins. ago >>290245506 (OP) This proves once again that men are better at everything. Even being a women.

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Anon exposes Africa | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/17(Wed)09:11:28 No.79676775 >>79675930 # This reminds me of something I read from the Bush War >Rhodies recover enemy rifles after each engagement >They keep finding rifles with the rear sight dialed in to the highest setting, practically f------ indirect fire >They are extremely confused by this >Eventually they ask a prisoner about it during interrogation >Literally none of them know what the sights are for, they think that choosing the bigger number makes the gun shoot harder Warfare in Africa is truly unbelievable >>79678011 # >>79678022 # >>79678742 #
: Anonymous 02/22/17(Wed)09:11:28 No.79676775 >>79675930 # This reminds me of something I read from the Bush War >Rhodies recover enemy rifles after each engagement >They keep finding rifles with the rear sight dialed in to the highest setting, practically f------ indirect fire >They are extremely confused by this >Eventually they ask a prisoner about it during interrogation >Literally none of them know what the sights are for, they think that choosing the bigger number makes the gun shoot harder Warfare in Africa is truly unbelievable >>79678011 # >>79678022 # >>79678742 #

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Anon is skinny. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)16:57:41 No.68737041 [Reply] >>68737113 >>68737531 >be me >average weight, by no means underweight >hanging out with friends & family >"hey anon, want some food?" >"no thanks, im not hungry" >constantly get pestered by family & friends telling me to eat more >"do you ever even eat anon" >"anon youre anorexic lol" >"you know having an appetite is attractive right anon" Stop trying to make me fat you f------ losers, I'll eat when I'm hungry.
Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)16:57:41 No.68737041 [Reply] >>68737113 >>68737531 >be me >average weight, by no means underweight >hanging out with friends & family >"hey anon, want some food?" >"no thanks, im not hungry" >constantly get pestered by family & friends telling me to eat more >"do you ever even eat anon" >"anon youre anorexic lol" >"you know having an appetite is attractive right anon" Stop trying to make me fat you f------ losers, I'll eat when I'm hungry.

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Anon writes shit code | /r/Greentext

#5, No. 86797043 1 hour ago 9187fj3nyxz31 JPG 1062x1080 146.7 kB >write s--- code >has bugs >boss says fix bugs to get money >infinite money cheat irl
#5, No. 86797043 1 hour ago 9187fj3nyxz31 JPG 1062x1080 146.7 kB >write s--- code >has bugs >boss says fix bugs to get money >infinite money cheat irl

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As sharp as a pin! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's cop an undercover > how f------ cool is that for someone her age No.515425318
Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's cop an undercover > how f------ cool is that for someone her age No.515425318

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Anon calls out fapper | /r/Greentext

05/21/22(Sat)01:13:12 No.68714957 Is it okay to fap to your close female friends that are barely legal? pic unrelated 05/21/22(Sat)01:16:04 No.68714975 05/21/22(Sat)01:18:09 No.68714995 05/21/22(Sat)01:18:20 No.68714997 05/21/22(Sat)01:30:25 No.68715074 : Anonymous 14 KB PNG : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>68714957 (OP) # B------- anon, we all know you fap to the pic related
05/21/22(Sat)01:13:12 No.68714957 Is it okay to fap to your close female friends that are barely legal? pic unrelated 05/21/22(Sat)01:16:04 No.68714975 05/21/22(Sat)01:18:09 No.68714995 05/21/22(Sat)01:18:20 No.68714997 05/21/22(Sat)01:30:25 No.68715074 : Anonymous 14 KB PNG : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>68714957 (OP) # B------- anon, we all know you fap to the pic related

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Anon makes fun of americans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)08:53:32 No.162998828 >Be unitedstatian >Government allows civilians to own german 88 cannons for self defense >Get shelled because a neighbor saw a black person and didn't want to risk it >It doesn't matter because even a .22 would have passed right through your paper front door anyway >Your house gets hit by a tornado while you wait for an ambulance >They take you to the hospital and miraculously survive >Get charged $9191991919199282819919191919191991 91991091727362771717178902010010988 37176161617177171 + tip Land of the free >>162998853 # >>162998895 # >>162999021 # >>162999182 # >>162999494 #
: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)08:53:32 No.162998828 >Be unitedstatian >Government allows civilians to own german 88 cannons for self defense >Get shelled because a neighbor saw a black person and didn't want to risk it >It doesn't matter because even a .22 would have passed right through your paper front door anyway >Your house gets hit by a tornado while you wait for an ambulance >They take you to the hospital and miraculously survive >Get charged $9191991919199282819919191919191991 91991091727362771717178902010010988 37176161617177171 + tip Land of the free >>162998853 # >>162998895 # >>162999021 # >>162999182 # >>162999494 #

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Well, i mean it kinda work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: aAQ7T/Wi 1.48 MB JPG 05/23/22(Mon)00:46:45 No.15273543 > "How do we make a male character that's appealing to women?" > Takes the average male > Makes them like women
Anonymous (ID: aAQ7T/Wi 1.48 MB JPG 05/23/22(Mon)00:46:45 No.15273543 > "How do we make a male character that's appealing to women?" > Takes the average male > Makes them like women

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Anon dated a fembot. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)09:06:30 No.68730997 >date a fembot. My only gf at the time >she liked when I would call her a w----, being slapped during sex, spanked really hard, having her p---- slapped, hand on throat, etc >thought this was just normal for women 83 KB JPG >date a normie girl and try the same because this is just what normal sex is to me >she starts sobbing What the f--- fembots have ruined me for other women APOLOGIZE
Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)09:06:30 No.68730997 >date a fembot. My only gf at the time >she liked when I would call her a w----, being slapped during sex, spanked really hard, having her p---- slapped, hand on throat, etc >thought this was just normal for women 83 KB JPG >date a normie girl and try the same because this is just what normal sex is to me >she starts sobbing What the f--- fembots have ruined me for other women APOLOGIZE

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Anon likes skeletons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5JHcXzx6 Why are USA laws regarding dea(...) 1 05/22/22(Sun)18:27:31 No.378972882 >father dies >he was a massive man, 7'0 on a good day >ask coroner people if I can keep his skeleton >they act like I'm a weirdo and ask why 125 KB JPG >tell them I want to put his giant skelly on display in my house with some cool knight armor on it >they tell me it's illegal to take the body and do that >tell them they can keep the meat, and I'll bury that. I just want the skeleton >get kicked out and interviewed by a cop Why the f--- is the USA so butthurt about this? We glorify all the awesome displays from Europe but I can't do the same with my own father.
: Anonymous (ID: 5JHcXzx6 Why are USA laws regarding dea(...) 1 05/22/22(Sun)18:27:31 No.378972882 >father dies >he was a massive man, 7'0 on a good day >ask coroner people if I can keep his skeleton >they act like I'm a weirdo and ask why 125 KB JPG >tell them I want to put his giant skelly on display in my house with some cool knight armor on it >they tell me it's illegal to take the body and do that >tell them they can keep the meat, and I'll bury that. I just want the skeleton >get kicked out and interviewed by a cop Why the f--- is the USA so butthurt about this? We glorify all the awesome displays from Europe but I can't do the same with my own father.

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Anon has no life. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)10:11:11 No.68732183 >never had alcohol >never had coffee >never had drugs >never took meds >never used a bad word (e.g. s---, f--- or n-----) IRL >never had even a single friend >never had a gf >never had any form of sexual relations >never got into a fight >never played a multiplayer video game >never learned to appreciate music >never broke a bone >never found out what my mental illness is Can you beat me?
Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)10:11:11 No.68732183 >never had alcohol >never had coffee >never had drugs >never took meds >never used a bad word (e.g. s---, f--- or n-----) IRL >never had even a single friend >never had a gf >never had any form of sexual relations >never got into a fight >never played a multiplayer video game >never learned to appreciate music >never broke a bone >never found out what my mental illness is Can you beat me?

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Anon likes the pandemic. | /r/Greentext

04/14/22(Thu)22:18:13 No.876305571 : Anonymous 84 KB JPG >4/10 social anxiety >3/10 confidence Global disaster, personal growth I'm healing /b/ >ugly >10/10 social anxiety >0/10 confidence >pandemic.gif >masks.jpg >hide my ugly face >stay at home 90% of the time
04/14/22(Thu)22:18:13 No.876305571 : Anonymous 84 KB JPG >4/10 social anxiety >3/10 confidence Global disaster, personal growth I'm healing /b/ >ugly >10/10 social anxiety >0/10 confidence >pandemic.gif >masks.jpg >hide my ugly face >stay at home 90% of the time

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