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Never been into dieting until now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/22(Tue)17:42:04 No.24602366 Anyone else /cummaxxing/? >Construct my diet exclusively around making my c-- taste as thick and delicious as possible >Max out on high-fructose fruits; chug down pineapple, blueberries, plums, kiwis etc. regularly 144 KB JPG >Cut out caffeine, drink only decaf Chai lattes with almond milk >No meat, no dairy, going practically vegan to remove seminal unpleasantries >No smoking, no alcohol, as both could damage the pure taste >Frequent doses of Zinc supplements for maximum load size and thickness With any luck my seminal fluids will within weeks become the sticky white ambrosia of the gods. Girls, femboys, and c------ twinks will come from miles around just for the chance to drink from my fountain of youth.
: Anonymous 02/22/22(Tue)17:42:04 No.24602366 Anyone else /cummaxxing/? >Construct my diet exclusively around making my c-- taste as thick and delicious as possible >Max out on high-fructose fruits; chug down pineapple, blueberries, plums, kiwis etc. regularly 144 KB JPG >Cut out caffeine, drink only decaf Chai lattes with almond milk >No meat, no dairy, going practically vegan to remove seminal unpleasantries >No smoking, no alcohol, as both could damage the pure taste >Frequent doses of Zinc supplements for maximum load size and thickness With any luck my seminal fluids will within weeks become the sticky white ambrosia of the gods. Girls, femboys, and c------ twinks will come from miles around just for the chance to drink from my fountain of youth.

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NAnon explains the rule of the interwebz | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)15:24:15 No.139971074 Goose.jpg 289 KB JPG >See that guy posted the letter N, now I have to reply to him with the letter I
: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)15:24:15 No.139971074 Goose.jpg 289 KB JPG >See that guy posted the letter N, now I have to reply to him with the letter I

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Anon has a car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E file.png 75 KB PNG >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes >engine explodes shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 # 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988
: Anonymous E file.png 75 KB PNG >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes >engine explodes shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 # 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988

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And they all lived happily ever after | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son?
Anonymous No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son?

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Anon gets called poor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles 83 KB JPG >Haven't been there for a couple of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles 83 KB JPG >Haven't been there for a couple of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw

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annon hates his life | /r/Greentext


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anon loves his toilet | /r/Greentext

132 KB PNG >sitting on toilet >lay two massive logs >"there's no way this is gonna go down" >flush >toilet takes it like a boss I love my toilet
132 KB PNG >sitting on toilet >lay two massive logs >"there's no way this is gonna go down" >flush >toilet takes it like a boss I love my toilet

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a dying wish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors 61 KB PNG >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight >>737630720 # 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40
Anonymous No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors 61 KB PNG >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight >>737630720 # 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40

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anon rubs his dick off | /r/Greentext


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Anon googles Alzheimer's symptoms | /r/Greentext


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It's for these moments I keep coming back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: RRUg9MIG) >>15237474 # F--- you Anonymous (ID: coqGpPX6 ) [] 30 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: RRUg9MIG) HOW 05/18/22(Wed)10:31:18 No. 15237654 05/18/22(Wed)10:33:32 No.15237659 >>15237654 # Hope that made you feel better 05/18/22(Wed)10:38:28 No.15237672 >>15237659 # Yeah it did. Thank you my italian friend, have a nice day
Anonymous (ID: RRUg9MIG) >>15237474 # F--- you Anonymous (ID: coqGpPX6 ) [] 30 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: RRUg9MIG) HOW 05/18/22(Wed)10:31:18 No. 15237654 05/18/22(Wed)10:33:32 No.15237659 >>15237654 # Hope that made you feel better 05/18/22(Wed)10:38:28 No.15237672 >>15237659 # Yeah it did. Thank you my italian friend, have a nice day

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Anon starts a cult | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know I'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know I'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

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anon hate cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon)18:43:23 No.878694046 /b/ros, i want to kill my cat. i adopted him from this young blonde bitch, he got run over by a cop car 4 weeks ago as a stray kitten. i think he's retarded since he took most of it to the face. I hate him. he follows me into every room and sleeps with me. I genuinely want to chop him up so he quits f------ everything in the house up. thoughts? am i crazy for feeling this way or are cats just evil? 59 KB JPG 29 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon) 20:34:07 No.878697218 >>878694046 (OP) # You're an evil person for wanting to kill a cat that has been hurt and just wants attention. You don't need to own animals you asshat. : Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon)20:45:57 No.878697726 >>878694046 (OP) # You harm that cat, you die. 795 KB WEBM
: Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon)18:43:23 No.878694046 /b/ros, i want to kill my cat. i adopted him from this young blonde bitch, he got run over by a cop car 4 weeks ago as a stray kitten. i think he's retarded since he took most of it to the face. I hate him. he follows me into every room and sleeps with me. I genuinely want to chop him up so he quits f------ everything in the house up. thoughts? am i crazy for feeling this way or are cats just evil? 59 KB JPG 29 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon) 20:34:07 No.878697218 >>878694046 (OP) # You're an evil person for wanting to kill a cat that has been hurt and just wants attention. You don't need to own animals you asshat. : Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon)20:45:57 No.878697726 >>878694046 (OP) # You harm that cat, you die. 795 KB WEBM

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anon matches with a girl on tinder | /r/Greentext

05/23/22(Mon)16:48:14 No.878700612 : Anonymous > be me > swipe through Tinder, match with a girl > ACAB personality, but huge t--- so whatever > meet at her place, things are going well 76 KB JPG > on her bed making out, dry humping, she only has panties on > about to f--- her > she stops me > she says "I can't do this, you remind me too much of a friend or brother" > w-- > literally sitting in her bed about to f--- her > awkwardly leave Am I retarded? Or is she?
05/23/22(Mon)16:48:14 No.878700612 : Anonymous > be me > swipe through Tinder, match with a girl > ACAB personality, but huge t--- so whatever > meet at her place, things are going well 76 KB JPG > on her bed making out, dry humping, she only has panties on > about to f--- her > she stops me > she says "I can't do this, you remind me too much of a friend or brother" > w-- > literally sitting in her bed about to f--- her > awkwardly leave Am I retarded? Or is she?

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Anon shares his wintertime activities | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)21:06:11 No.60926043 EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHTS >>60925869 # F--- it might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral LEAT MY OWN C-- 170 KB PNG >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >i try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >i want to say "even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones will let us see the dawn once more" >"even on the coldest nights, i eat my own c--"
: Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)21:06:11 No.60926043 EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHTS >>60925869 # F--- it might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral LEAT MY OWN C-- 170 KB PNG >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >i try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >i want to say "even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones will let us see the dawn once more" >"even on the coldest nights, i eat my own c--"

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anon has ten numbers | /r/Greentext


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Anon’s GF does a lil bit of trolling | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets TOPPED | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)11:56:09 No.862547989 >be me, not gay ST >have an irresistibly huge attraction to cocks, especially small feminine ones ASTEINING >don't really want to touch them, just want to f--- someone with 77 KB JPG one >realize God made femboys for this exact reason >set my Tinder bio to femboys only >have 5+ wanting me in a few hours >go through 3 of them within a few days, women never felt like this, it was an addiction >they keep calling me gay for some reason, but I'm not, it's not gay to f--- femboys I'm correct, right anons? : Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)11:57:10 No.862548030 >>862547989 (OP) # your gay as f--- h---
: Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)11:56:09 No.862547989 >be me, not gay ST >have an irresistibly huge attraction to cocks, especially small feminine ones ASTEINING >don't really want to touch them, just want to f--- someone with 77 KB JPG one >realize God made femboys for this exact reason >set my Tinder bio to femboys only >have 5+ wanting me in a few hours >go through 3 of them within a few days, women never felt like this, it was an addiction >they keep calling me gay for some reason, but I'm not, it's not gay to f--- femboys I'm correct, right anons? : Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)11:57:10 No.862548030 >>862547989 (OP) # your gay as f--- h---

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anon kills a possum | /r/Greentext

05/23/22(Mon)06:32:31 No.878692213 >be me, around 8yo >Playing at my grandmas house in a sandbox she had in her garden > She had a big ass f------ house with a huge ass garden, apple trees, flower beds strawberry fields and all that s---. 21 KB JPG >See somthing move on the field, immediately run up to it >Twas a possum, but i didn't know at the time. >It just roll over and dies. > Think i scared it to death, becuse that can happen you know (not really) >Horrified and sad, but also curious because im a dumb child and everything is new >Poke it a bit with a little green shovel i had in my sandbox and inspexting it, dont really know what to do >Decide to bury it, like we recently did with grandpa >Didn't have a nice coffin, but my trusty bucket in the sandbox would do the trick. >Put the possum in first, the filled the bucket with sand, tap the top layer as you do so its nice and firm >Bury it upside down in my grandmoms flower garden with me trusty green shovel >Made a cross with some sticks and said some stupid words or a retarded prayer, cant really remember what >Ran along and probarly got distracted by some other stupid s---, completely forgot about the possum. >Years later i i randomly remembered, had a "oh s--- lol" when i realize that possums play dead. Anonymous
05/23/22(Mon)06:32:31 No.878692213 >be me, around 8yo >Playing at my grandmas house in a sandbox she had in her garden > She had a big ass f------ house with a huge ass garden, apple trees, flower beds strawberry fields and all that s---. 21 KB JPG >See somthing move on the field, immediately run up to it >Twas a possum, but i didn't know at the time. >It just roll over and dies. > Think i scared it to death, becuse that can happen you know (not really) >Horrified and sad, but also curious because im a dumb child and everything is new >Poke it a bit with a little green shovel i had in my sandbox and inspexting it, dont really know what to do >Decide to bury it, like we recently did with grandpa >Didn't have a nice coffin, but my trusty bucket in the sandbox would do the trick. >Put the possum in first, the filled the bucket with sand, tap the top layer as you do so its nice and firm >Bury it upside down in my grandmoms flower garden with me trusty green shovel >Made a cross with some sticks and said some stupid words or a retarded prayer, cant really remember what >Ran along and probarly got distracted by some other stupid s---, completely forgot about the possum. >Years later i i randomly remembered, had a "oh s--- lol" when i realize that possums play dead. Anonymous

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You are anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 203 KB JPG 01/03/20(Fri)22:32:34 No.81768261 > be me > You are now me > Have fun with you terrible life
: Anonymous 203 KB JPG 01/03/20(Fri)22:32:34 No.81768261 > be me > You are now me > Have fun with you terrible life

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