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Anon fails. | /r/Greentext

05/24/22(Tue)12:33:43 No.68761310 Anonymous Three simple criteria 149 KB JPG Anonymous 05/24/22(Tue)12:41:41 No.68761387 >>68761310 (OP) >dont be a p--- addict >dont be a misogynist >dont be spend all of your free time on video games, social media (4chan), or watching s--- online Yet all of you fail >dont be a slut >be interesting and have interests >dont be obese Yet women fail
05/24/22(Tue)12:33:43 No.68761310 Anonymous Three simple criteria 149 KB JPG Anonymous 05/24/22(Tue)12:41:41 No.68761387 >>68761310 (OP) >dont be a p--- addict >dont be a misogynist >dont be spend all of your free time on video games, social media (4chan), or watching s--- online Yet all of you fail >dont be a slut >be interesting and have interests >dont be obese Yet women fail

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Alpha Pikachu | /r/Greentext

>girlfriend is moving out of her dorm for the summer >lobby is filled with s--- people don't want >go looking for a small fan >find treasure >brand new adult Pikachu onesie pajamas, tail included >scamper home with my prize >promptly cut the arms off to make it sleeveless >saturday comes >deadlift day >go in at busiest time >strut into weight room in my pikachu lifting suit and chucks >everyone mirin >work up to a 405 single >"Pika..........CHUUUUUUUUUU" >lock that s--- out >strut out sipping brotein shake from a pokeball goblet I had from child >alpha as f---
>girlfriend is moving out of her dorm for the summer >lobby is filled with s--- people don't want >go looking for a small fan >find treasure >brand new adult Pikachu onesie pajamas, tail included >scamper home with my prize >promptly cut the arms off to make it sleeveless >saturday comes >deadlift day >go in at busiest time >strut into weight room in my pikachu lifting suit and chucks >everyone mirin >work up to a 405 single >"Pika..........CHUUUUUUUUUU" >lock that s--- out >strut out sipping brotein shake from a pokeball goblet I had from child >alpha as f---

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homicide or genocide? | /r/Greentext

File: 1388722303576.jpg-(78 KB, 500x347, smileys.jpg) Anonymous 01/03/14(Fri)05:11:43 UTC+1 No.524848398 [Reply] If I killed a thousand clones of myself, would it be homicide or genocide? +21 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 01/03/14(Fri)05:28:48 UTC+1 No.524851649 it would be a hate crime because op is a f-----
File: 1388722303576.jpg-(78 KB, 500x347, smileys.jpg) Anonymous 01/03/14(Fri)05:11:43 UTC+1 No.524848398 [Reply] If I killed a thousand clones of myself, would it be homicide or genocide? +21 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 01/03/14(Fri)05:28:48 UTC+1 No.524851649 it would be a hate crime because op is a f-----

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Anons deserve respect | /r/Greentext

>be me >drinking vodka and singing old Irish songs with friends >I end up passing out >wake up to my phone stolen and wallet empty 27 KB PNG >call friends with home phone >"ya hey man sorry about that we were playing poker and you lost them to john ill give him a call" >john calls me >"hey anon do you want your s--- back I know you were drunk and all" >get my money and phone back >mfw im a respected part of my friend group
>be me >drinking vodka and singing old Irish songs with friends >I end up passing out >wake up to my phone stolen and wallet empty 27 KB PNG >call friends with home phone >"ya hey man sorry about that we were playing poker and you lost them to john ill give him a call" >john calls me >"hey anon do you want your s--- back I know you were drunk and all" >get my money and phone back >mfw im a respected part of my friend group

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Anon doesn't like marvel fans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/22 (Tue)10:35:38 No. 168499561 File: 7128485.png (549 KB, 810x575) anden! ARTIGES THOR LOVE THUNDER Sum THA LOVE THUN REACT 12:19 THAR LOVE THUNDER 9:16 >"This marvel movie will change EVERYTHING!!" >"Remember to sit through 5 minutes of credits, GLURBO will appear in the post-credits!" >"Here is a what you missed from trailer you watched 20 times!" >"This is the beginning of a new era" >"Here is the REAL meaning of movie trailer" I am convinced cape movie fans are retarded. Kone, your plac THUND cher | T MARVEL H 9K Here New
Anonymous 05/24/22 (Tue)10:35:38 No. 168499561 File: 7128485.png (549 KB, 810x575) anden! ARTIGES THOR LOVE THUNDER Sum THA LOVE THUN REACT 12:19 THAR LOVE THUNDER 9:16 >"This marvel movie will change EVERYTHING!!" >"Remember to sit through 5 minutes of credits, GLURBO will appear in the post-credits!" >"Here is a what you missed from trailer you watched 20 times!" >"This is the beginning of a new era" >"Here is the REAL meaning of movie trailer" I am convinced cape movie fans are retarded. Kone, your plac THUND cher | T MARVEL H 9K Here New

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Anon tries DayZ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 07/2h1q0) 04/13/14(Sun)20:49:40 UTC-4 M >Be me >Just started DayZ >Suck so hard >Being chased by zombies >When all of a sudden >Pop pop >All zombies are dead >There is only one person standing >Oh no, I'm going to get robbed and killed. DAYZ >"WOOOHOOO, HELLO THERE PATRIOT!" >Check name >Mr. America >"WHAT STATE ARE YOU STATIONED IN PATRIOT?" >C-California sir >"LET'S GO KILL SOME COMMIES BROTHER!" >Gives me pristine M4A1 and hiking backpack >Go out and kill communists >I handcuff someone >Mr. America administers test >"WHAT'S THE TEMPERATURE LIKE WHERE YOU'RE FROM?" >9 >9 WHAT? >9 Celsius >Gets shot >handcuff black guy >Gets shot by Mr. America >Accent >Shot >Mr. America goes out to look for supplies and plays the song by Team America World police >Stay and protect our loot >See someone in the distance >Was taught by Mr. America to shoot on sight > Shoot >It's Mr. America >f--- >Go to Mr. America >Almost dying >I'm so sorry! >"DON'T BE SORRY PATRIOT, EVERY EAGLE MUST LEAVE THE NEST AT SOME POINT >Dies >Miss him >Run off building and die DayZ stories thread.
Anonymous (ID: 07/2h1q0) 04/13/14(Sun)20:49:40 UTC-4 M >Be me >Just started DayZ >Suck so hard >Being chased by zombies >When all of a sudden >Pop pop >All zombies are dead >There is only one person standing >Oh no, I'm going to get robbed and killed. DAYZ >"WOOOHOOO, HELLO THERE PATRIOT!" >Check name >Mr. America >"WHAT STATE ARE YOU STATIONED IN PATRIOT?" >C-California sir >"LET'S GO KILL SOME COMMIES BROTHER!" >Gives me pristine M4A1 and hiking backpack >Go out and kill communists >I handcuff someone >Mr. America administers test >"WHAT'S THE TEMPERATURE LIKE WHERE YOU'RE FROM?" >9 >9 WHAT? >9 Celsius >Gets shot >handcuff black guy >Gets shot by Mr. America >Accent >Shot >Mr. America goes out to look for supplies and plays the song by Team America World police >Stay and protect our loot >See someone in the distance >Was taught by Mr. America to shoot on sight > Shoot >It's Mr. America >f--- >Go to Mr. America >Almost dying >I'm so sorry! >"DON'T BE SORRY PATRIOT, EVERY EAGLE MUST LEAVE THE NEST AT SOME POINT >Dies >Miss him >Run off building and die DayZ stories thread.

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Anon confronts bully | /r/Greentext


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anon give advice | /r/Greentext


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Duality of Anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)22:03:19 No.68739758 I'm extremely good looking. 728 KB PNG : Syd 05/22/22(Sun)22:07:00 No.68739796 : Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)22:08:49 No.68739810 >frogposter Nah, you're not, you delusional f-----. : Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)23:16:14 No.68740483 >>68739758 (OP) # Woah anon, I like your suit. You're looking very handsome today
: Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)22:03:19 No.68739758 I'm extremely good looking. 728 KB PNG : Syd 05/22/22(Sun)22:07:00 No.68739796 : Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)22:08:49 No.68739810 >frogposter Nah, you're not, you delusional f-----. : Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)23:16:14 No.68740483 >>68739758 (OP) # Woah anon, I like your suit. You're looking very handsome today

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anon is in a relationship | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >have gf >shes an autistic medical student >be autistic econ degree who posts on 4chan >she loves science and examines bacterial samples for fun >buy her a microscope for her birthday >we have sex later >c-- on her stomach >"wow anon that was great but i need to get up" >think she didnt like the sex >she just wanted put my semen on a microscope slide >shes standing there naked examining my sperm under a microscope >we spend an hour examining my sperm and using stats to determine my fertility >she gets aroused by the sperm density >have sex again I love this woman but our children would be mega autists 10/09/20(Fri)15:06:46 No.60397618
Anonymous >have gf >shes an autistic medical student >be autistic econ degree who posts on 4chan >she loves science and examines bacterial samples for fun >buy her a microscope for her birthday >we have sex later >c-- on her stomach >"wow anon that was great but i need to get up" >think she didnt like the sex >she just wanted put my semen on a microscope slide >shes standing there naked examining my sperm under a microscope >we spend an hour examining my sperm and using stats to determine my fertility >she gets aroused by the sperm density >have sex again I love this woman but our children would be mega autists 10/09/20(Fri)15:06:46 No.60397618

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anon is in the saw movie | /r/Greentext

01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 : Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs inc 14 KB JPG >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb 10 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 : Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs inc 14 KB JPG >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb 10 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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When your whole country needs a tard wrangler | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 7X2p614y)-09/29/16(Thu)08:54:12 No.90824490 >>90825527 >>90825889 >>90833398 >>90841149 >>90841295 >>90844292 File: article-2729055-20A3D2720().jpg (128 KB, 634x582) Nöd & C50 ⒸIBL/REX >>90823877 >You never know. You think this is weird? Well take a gander at pic related. It's a gay Muslim Imam conducting a wedding ceremony for two lesbian Muslims. One of them is pregnant and other one is a deformed m-----. Sweden is so bad that even Muslims are going f------ insane over there. There are no limits with what they can come up with.
Anonymous (ID: 7X2p614y)-09/29/16(Thu)08:54:12 No.90824490 >>90825527 >>90825889 >>90833398 >>90841149 >>90841295 >>90844292 File: article-2729055-20A3D2720().jpg (128 KB, 634x582) Nöd & C50 ⒸIBL/REX >>90823877 >You never know. You think this is weird? Well take a gander at pic related. It's a gay Muslim Imam conducting a wedding ceremony for two lesbian Muslims. One of them is pregnant and other one is a deformed m-----. Sweden is so bad that even Muslims are going f------ insane over there. There are no limits with what they can come up with.

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Anon makes magic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB JPG 03/08/22(Tue)10:34:23 No. >rub magic paper on your ass >s--- just goes away Yeah f------ right.
: Anonymous 49 KB JPG 03/08/22(Tue)10:34:23 No. >rub magic paper on your ass >s--- just goes away Yeah f------ right.

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Anon cringes at his past | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/22(Tue)10:13:16 No.68757419 >posted some things online years ago when I was a dumb teenager that could be traced back to my real identity >not even anything career-ruining, edgy, pornographic, etc 55 KB JPG >just talking about being ugly, depressed, and unable to get a girlfriend >still randomly get paranoid that someone will find it and judge me for it
Anonymous 05/24/22(Tue)10:13:16 No.68757419 >posted some things online years ago when I was a dumb teenager that could be traced back to my real identity >not even anything career-ruining, edgy, pornographic, etc 55 KB JPG >just talking about being ugly, depressed, and unable to get a girlfriend >still randomly get paranoid that someone will find it and judge me for it

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Anon is in a vicious cycle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 61 KB JPG 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >I post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >I get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >I post the frog
: Anonymous 61 KB JPG 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >I post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >I get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >I post the frog

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You come at the king, you best not miss | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together 33 KB JPG >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level
Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together 33 KB JPG >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level

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anon destroys his lust | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/23/22(Mon)22:56:38 No.878740347 Please help.. How can I get rid of all sexual desires? It's making me super suicidal. Not joking. The intensity of the hormones along with the fact that no one could ever love me is ripping my brain to 05/23/22(Mon)22:58:40 No.878740458 05/23/22(Mon)22:59:23 No.878740491 shreds : Anonymous >>878740347 (OP) # buddhism, meditation, and kung fu : Anonymous >>878740347 (OP) # become a monk of self discipline
: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/23/22(Mon)22:56:38 No.878740347 Please help.. How can I get rid of all sexual desires? It's making me super suicidal. Not joking. The intensity of the hormones along with the fact that no one could ever love me is ripping my brain to 05/23/22(Mon)22:58:40 No.878740458 05/23/22(Mon)22:59:23 No.878740491 shreds : Anonymous >>878740347 (OP) # buddhism, meditation, and kung fu : Anonymous >>878740347 (OP) # become a monk of self discipline

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Anon's a scumbag | /r/Greentext

Okay here goes. >married five years >four years ago we bought a house together >six months later I start f------ the woman next door 369 KB JPG >wife and I are in our early 30s, neighbor is 26 >a year later neighbor gets pregnant >whoopsie >she doesn't want an abortion, says she will keep quiet and raise the child >she has a good job and her family has money so l trust her on this >she has the kid, a boy, kind of looks like me (gee I wonder why) >wife tells me neighbor has a baby >wife goes and meets neighbor and baby >wife becomes friends with neighbor and spends time with baby >we babysit when neighbor has to work late or spend time with friends >wife starts getting baby envy, wants one of her own now >"our baby can grow up with Anonette's baby and they can play together!" >two years ago wife gets preggo >it's a girl That was a little over a year ago. Currently: >wife and I spend an increasing amount of time with neighbor lady and my son >wife encourages me to spend time with the boy because "he needs a father figure" >we babysit for neighbor, she babysits for us >neighbor tells me that if wife ever leaves me she will be there for me (still f------ her)
Okay here goes. >married five years >four years ago we bought a house together >six months later I start f------ the woman next door 369 KB JPG >wife and I are in our early 30s, neighbor is 26 >a year later neighbor gets pregnant >whoopsie >she doesn't want an abortion, says she will keep quiet and raise the child >she has a good job and her family has money so l trust her on this >she has the kid, a boy, kind of looks like me (gee I wonder why) >wife tells me neighbor has a baby >wife goes and meets neighbor and baby >wife becomes friends with neighbor and spends time with baby >we babysit when neighbor has to work late or spend time with friends >wife starts getting baby envy, wants one of her own now >"our baby can grow up with Anonette's baby and they can play together!" >two years ago wife gets preggo >it's a girl That was a little over a year ago. Currently: >wife and I spend an increasing amount of time with neighbor lady and my son >wife encourages me to spend time with the boy because "he needs a father figure" >we babysit for neighbor, she babysits for us >neighbor tells me that if wife ever leaves me she will be there for me (still f------ her)

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Anon makes a realization | /r/Greentext

File: first black president.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) Anonymous (ID: toWldaty Reply] ► >played jazz sax >could reliably hoop a free throw >ordered fried chicken on every Airforce One flight >almost lost his job over some phat white ass Was Bill Clinton the first black president? 02/06/18(Tue)23:25:28 No.159548327
File: first black president.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) Anonymous (ID: toWldaty Reply] ► >played jazz sax >could reliably hoop a free throw >ordered fried chicken on every Airforce One flight >almost lost his job over some phat white ass Was Bill Clinton the first black president? 02/06/18(Tue)23:25:28 No.159548327

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Anon was addicted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 2zuVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 >lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you >everyone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s---" >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.
Anonymous (ID: 2zuVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 >lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you >everyone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s---" >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.

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