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Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21 (Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro
: Anonymous 04/27/21 (Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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Anon giving girl a ride | /r/Greentext

>Be me, giving girl a ride >Remember that girls get excited and horny if you do a handbrake turn >A corner approaches, i put my foot hard on the pedal. 185 KB PNG >As I reach the corner I apply the handbrake and turn the steering. >Her seat detaches from the mounts >Girl flies off of my bicycle and faceplants on the asphalt >Girl has her jaw and front teeth broken and >She is crying and spitting blood and teeth >Bystanders call 911 >MFW I am convicted of reckless endangerment of a child, social services take away my 2 y.o. daughter and I will go to prison.
>Be me, giving girl a ride >Remember that girls get excited and horny if you do a handbrake turn >A corner approaches, i put my foot hard on the pedal. 185 KB PNG >As I reach the corner I apply the handbrake and turn the steering. >Her seat detaches from the mounts >Girl flies off of my bicycle and faceplants on the asphalt >Girl has her jaw and front teeth broken and >She is crying and spitting blood and teeth >Bystanders call 911 >MFW I am convicted of reckless endangerment of a child, social services take away my 2 y.o. daughter and I will go to prison.

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Anon is a movie critic: 2.0 | /r/Greentext

file.png (2.24 MB, 1890x1012) google yandex iqdb wait >>366875715 They charge money to see her "panda" in the bathroom. The charge money for photos of her "panda" and videos of her "panda" Her mother tells her not to show her "panda" in public and to stay away from boys. The mc refuses and shows her "panda" to the entire school, then keeps the "panda". at the end of the film her mother tells her "You aren't going out with your "panda" out like that" and she replies "my panda my choice" It's pretty obvious what "panda" is
file.png (2.24 MB, 1890x1012) google yandex iqdb wait >>366875715 They charge money to see her "panda" in the bathroom. The charge money for photos of her "panda" and videos of her "panda" Her mother tells her not to show her "panda" in public and to stay away from boys. The mc refuses and shows her "panda" to the entire school, then keeps the "panda". at the end of the film her mother tells her "You aren't going out with your "panda" out like that" and she replies "my panda my choice" It's pretty obvious what "panda" is

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Anon is a chef. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)00:44:21 No.68784092 >be me >lvl 18 boy >feeling horny >near orgasm think how my c-- tastes >Oh idea, lets find out >c-- directly in the mouth 42 KB JPG >it was thick and there was sooo much of it >taste was neither tasty nor disgusting >was doing that s--- for 3 month >recently post nut clarity hits >feel a bit ashamed and disgusting Guys how should i stop doing that s---? Am I gay now? Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)00:47:28 No.68784114 >>68784092 (OP) a chef has to taste his own food.
Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)00:44:21 No.68784092 >be me >lvl 18 boy >feeling horny >near orgasm think how my c-- tastes >Oh idea, lets find out >c-- directly in the mouth 42 KB JPG >it was thick and there was sooo much of it >taste was neither tasty nor disgusting >was doing that s--- for 3 month >recently post nut clarity hits >feel a bit ashamed and disgusting Guys how should i stop doing that s---? Am I gay now? Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)00:47:28 No.68784114 >>68784092 (OP) a chef has to taste his own food.

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Anon on Republicans. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)06:26:06 No.68786322 329 KB PNG >MONDAY: mass shooting >TUESDAY: mass shooting >WEDNESDAY: mass shooting >THURSDAY: mass shooting >FRIDAY: mass shooting >SATURDAY: mass shooting >SUNDAY: mass shooting REPUBLICANS: "we gotta do something about trans people playing sports"
Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)06:26:06 No.68786322 329 KB PNG >MONDAY: mass shooting >TUESDAY: mass shooting >WEDNESDAY: mass shooting >THURSDAY: mass shooting >FRIDAY: mass shooting >SATURDAY: mass shooting >SUNDAY: mass shooting REPUBLICANS: "we gotta do something about trans people playing sports"

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Anon is happy for other’s success | /r/Greentext


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Anon talks about Joe Arridy | /r/Greentext

05/26/22(Thu)07:38:10 No.68784433 : Anonymous VICE >Joe Arridy, in 1936 was falsely convinced of the r--- and murder of an innocent woman >While on death-row, three separate therapists had described him as "having the mind of of a six year-old child" 862 KB PNG >During the appeals process, Arridy often played with a toy train given to him by prison warden. >The warden said that Arridy was "the happiest prisoner on death row". >He was liked and treated well by both the prisoners and guards alike >The warden became one of Arridy's supporters and joined the effort to save his life; he was said to have "cared for Arridy like a son", regularly bringing him gifts. >Before Arridy's execution via gas-chamber in 1939, the warden said, "He probably didn't even know he was about to die, all he did was happily sit and play with a toy train I had given him." Feels, bros. Feels.
05/26/22(Thu)07:38:10 No.68784433 : Anonymous VICE >Joe Arridy, in 1936 was falsely convinced of the r--- and murder of an innocent woman >While on death-row, three separate therapists had described him as "having the mind of of a six year-old child" 862 KB PNG >During the appeals process, Arridy often played with a toy train given to him by prison warden. >The warden said that Arridy was "the happiest prisoner on death row". >He was liked and treated well by both the prisoners and guards alike >The warden became one of Arridy's supporters and joined the effort to save his life; he was said to have "cared for Arridy like a son", regularly bringing him gifts. >Before Arridy's execution via gas-chamber in 1939, the warden said, "He probably didn't even know he was about to die, all he did was happily sit and play with a toy train I had given him." Feels, bros. Feels.

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Anon isn’t telling the full story | /r/Greentext


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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)13:30:42 No.855507130 >on a night out >absolutely twatted >no car >call a cab >cab shows up, Nigerian driver >black as midnight 245 KB JPG >he keeps trying to talk to me >whygod.jpeg >at least his accent is kinda cool >notice he's driving by people waving at the car >"hey bud, shouldn't you pick those people up?" >"oh, them? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are black." what.
: Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)13:30:42 No.855507130 >on a night out >absolutely twatted >no car >call a cab >cab shows up, Nigerian driver >black as midnight 245 KB JPG >he keeps trying to talk to me >whygod.jpeg >at least his accent is kinda cool >notice he's driving by people waving at the car >"hey bud, shouldn't you pick those people up?" >"oh, them? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are black." what.

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Sex is a mystery for anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)07:23:22 No.56974348 Imao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed 9 KB PNG >I assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >I assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >I assumed that threatening to s--- the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >I bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! f--- me before i go for a spin!'
Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)07:23:22 No.56974348 Imao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed 9 KB PNG >I assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >I assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >I assumed that threatening to s--- the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >I bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! f--- me before i go for a spin!'

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Anon reviews Minecraft 1.8 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)01:13:43 No.547982001 ► >>547982175 >>547982342 >>547982548 File: enderman.jpg (176 KB, 800x800) MOUNTING XOXOUXUNUL sluc >adds tall black enemies that steal blocks >they attack you if you look them in the eyes >their language is distorted english >they run fast and can't swim >same update as melons and cooked chicken >same update as iron bars and jungle vines >same update as sprinting and hunger >adds big nosed merchants weeks later and golems that protect them months later >this is the most popular game of all time Unironically how the f--- did he get away with this?
Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)01:13:43 No.547982001 ► >>547982175 >>547982342 >>547982548 File: enderman.jpg (176 KB, 800x800) MOUNTING XOXOUXUNUL sluc >adds tall black enemies that steal blocks >they attack you if you look them in the eyes >their language is distorted english >they run fast and can't swim >same update as melons and cooked chicken >same update as iron bars and jungle vines >same update as sprinting and hunger >adds big nosed merchants weeks later and golems that protect them months later >this is the most popular game of all time Unironically how the f--- did he get away with this?

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Nice kid gives anon a hotdog | /r/Greentext

01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry rare maybe the real pro >see much older kid (15) behind we found along the way me open his hot dog pepes were the friends 12 KB JPG >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro. : Anonymous
01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry rare maybe the real pro >see much older kid (15) behind we found along the way me open his hot dog pepes were the friends 12 KB JPG >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro. : Anonymous

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Anon wan go flawda | /r/Greentext

52 KB PNG : Anonymous 93 KB PNG >>45822388 # Anonymous 93 KB PNG >>45822413 # : Anonymous >wan go diney wurl 06/01/18 (Fri) 13:23:40 No.45822357 06/01/18(Fri)13:25:46 No.45822388 06/01/18 (Fri) 13:27:25 No.45822413 >>45822325 (OP) # flawda? >>45822357 # orthando >>45822388 # wan go flawda
52 KB PNG : Anonymous 93 KB PNG >>45822388 # Anonymous 93 KB PNG >>45822413 # : Anonymous >wan go diney wurl 06/01/18 (Fri) 13:23:40 No.45822357 06/01/18(Fri)13:25:46 No.45822388 06/01/18 (Fri) 13:27:25 No.45822413 >>45822325 (OP) # flawda? >>45822357 # orthando >>45822388 # wan go flawda

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anon is sus | /r/Greentext

Lig 87866d4ceb1924274dc9e479430ade52.jpg 41 KB JPG >work in environment like pic related >Floor boards are able to be lifted up and people can go under them to do work and s--- >Walking across cleanroom with coworkers to go and do something >See a floor board lifted up and some guy is down in one >Turn to coworkers >"Hey, he's looking pretty Sus" >Coworkers look at me like I'm insane >"He's venting" >AnonWhatTheFuckAreYou TalkingAbout.exe >"You know, like in among us" >None of my coworkers know what among us is >Try to explain among us to my coworkers >One guy asks me if I'm talking about trouble in terrorist town >Tell him no >Everyone just stops talking to me >Now anytime someone within eyesight is going into the floor my coworkers just start screaming Sus and laughing at me Should I quit?
Lig 87866d4ceb1924274dc9e479430ade52.jpg 41 KB JPG >work in environment like pic related >Floor boards are able to be lifted up and people can go under them to do work and s--- >Walking across cleanroom with coworkers to go and do something >See a floor board lifted up and some guy is down in one >Turn to coworkers >"Hey, he's looking pretty Sus" >Coworkers look at me like I'm insane >"He's venting" >AnonWhatTheFuckAreYou TalkingAbout.exe >"You know, like in among us" >None of my coworkers know what among us is >Try to explain among us to my coworkers >One guy asks me if I'm talking about trouble in terrorist town >Tell him no >Everyone just stops talking to me >Now anytime someone within eyesight is going into the floor my coworkers just start screaming Sus and laughing at me Should I quit?

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Anon is fake and gay | /r/Greentext


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Anon is Murican | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)11:15:01 No.878865799 >be me >ameritard >ponder spate of school shootings >confusion.exe >could it be a mental illness problem 37 KB JPG >could it be not enough security in schools >could it be not enuf Jesus >could it be violent vidya >could it be lack of parental supervision >prage to red white and blue flag for the answer "Please our founding fathers help me understand WHY this is happening in the greatest country on earth!" The problem is your f------ guns you absolute retards
Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)11:15:01 No.878865799 >be me >ameritard >ponder spate of school shootings >confusion.exe >could it be a mental illness problem 37 KB JPG >could it be not enough security in schools >could it be not enuf Jesus >could it be violent vidya >could it be lack of parental supervision >prage to red white and blue flag for the answer "Please our founding fathers help me understand WHY this is happening in the greatest country on earth!" The problem is your f------ guns you absolute retards

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Anon forgets to jack off. | /r/Greentext


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Anon works as a bus driver. | /r/Greentext

11/15/21(Mon) 03:57:30 No.66166587 My first time here, thought I'd share a story >be student >no gf, pretty boring life 38 KB JPG >when I have nothing to do, I take a bus in my city and when it arrives at its last stop I take the one that goes the other way >listening to music the whole time >repeat until my phone dies or I get hungry Am I autistic for doing this? Anonymous
11/15/21(Mon) 03:57:30 No.66166587 My first time here, thought I'd share a story >be student >no gf, pretty boring life 38 KB JPG >when I have nothing to do, I take a bus in my city and when it arrives at its last stop I take the one that goes the other way >listening to music the whole time >repeat until my phone dies or I get hungry Am I autistic for doing this? Anonymous

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Anon gets a present | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Gabba goods G f Clip-On Phone Selfie be used for grm & Marel, 0856575560 05/25/22(Wed)03:26:21 No.87080708 Social Media Video Recording Kit 191 oft LED Light Strip Multi-Color with remote 525090 Heavy Duty Phone Holder & Ring Light Stand 1.79 MB JPG >Be me, tech girl >IT for small family company, -30 employees >Wear anime girl t-shirt every day >Seclude myself in the server closet >No friends, people nicknamed me "the ghost" >Clearly not a typical girl >Moid colleague buys this for my birthday WHAT THE F--- IS WRONG WITH YOU 45998 006657525090
Anonymous Gabba goods G f Clip-On Phone Selfie be used for grm & Marel, 0856575560 05/25/22(Wed)03:26:21 No.87080708 Social Media Video Recording Kit 191 oft LED Light Strip Multi-Color with remote 525090 Heavy Duty Phone Holder & Ring Light Stand 1.79 MB JPG >Be me, tech girl >IT for small family company, -30 employees >Wear anime girl t-shirt every day >Seclude myself in the server closet >No friends, people nicknamed me "the ghost" >Clearly not a typical girl >Moid colleague buys this for my birthday WHAT THE F--- IS WRONG WITH YOU 45998 006657525090

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Anon isn't an incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous WILINICA WAAAA 45 KB JPG 05/17/22(Tue)13:14:03 >random girl is nice to you for 5 seconds >daydream a whole relationship with her for weeks What a loser r-right bros? N-never happened to me. No.168138175
: Anonymous WILINICA WAAAA 45 KB JPG 05/17/22(Tue)13:14:03 >random girl is nice to you for 5 seconds >daydream a whole relationship with her for weeks What a loser r-right bros? N-never happened to me. No.168138175

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