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Anon is the latest in the Thurman saga | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 210 KB PNG 14 Replies / 2 Images 02/25/22(Fri) 19:16:19 No.67576853 >born >parents named me Goobins i never stood a f------ chance in this world View Thread
: Anonymous 210 KB PNG 14 Replies / 2 Images 02/25/22(Fri) 19:16:19 No.67576853 >born >parents named me Goobins i never stood a f------ chance in this world View Thread

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Anon mom ask about 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: PWaoE011) [ >be me >mom is standard tech illiterate boomer >sees me browse fit >suddenly knows it's 4chan >suddenly mom has a interest in 4Chan 42 KB PNG >keeps asking me about 4chan memes and what "my friends on 4Chan" are saying about current situations Uhm what do I do bros? Anonymous (ID: 1SmHj6Lh) 05/28/22(Sat)01:07:17 No.15317488 >>15317487 (OP) Is your mom cool? Anonymous (ID: IpCuYqsz) 05/28/22(Sat)01:07:32 No.15317491 >>15317487 (OP) Is your mom hot? 05/28/22(Sat)01:06:17 No.15317487
Anonymous (ID: PWaoE011) [ >be me >mom is standard tech illiterate boomer >sees me browse fit >suddenly knows it's 4chan >suddenly mom has a interest in 4Chan 42 KB PNG >keeps asking me about 4chan memes and what "my friends on 4Chan" are saying about current situations Uhm what do I do bros? Anonymous (ID: 1SmHj6Lh) 05/28/22(Sat)01:07:17 No.15317488 >>15317487 (OP) Is your mom cool? Anonymous (ID: IpCuYqsz) 05/28/22(Sat)01:07:32 No.15317491 >>15317487 (OP) Is your mom hot? 05/28/22(Sat)01:06:17 No.15317487

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Grandma's cookin' | /r/Greentext


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Anon steals coffee | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/27/22 (Fri)20:51:09 No.879002779 > go to starbucks > see coffee on counter > take coffee and leave Why arent you saving $6/day anon? 81 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/27/22 (Fri)20:51:09 No.879002779 > go to starbucks > see coffee on counter > take coffee and leave Why arent you saving $6/day anon? 81 KB JPG

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Anon on the job market | /r/Greentext

Anonymous boomers live in an alternate r(...) 03/06/22(Sun)14:18:18 No.67677766 boomers: >"THERE'S A HUGE LABOR SHORTAGE, 6 MILLION JOBS OPENED UP, THEY'LL HIRE ANYONE WITHOUT EXPEIRENCE AND PAY 6 FIGURES STARTING" 166 KB JPG reality: >apply to 500 jobs >get 1 call back >it's a pyramid scheme
Anonymous boomers live in an alternate r(...) 03/06/22(Sun)14:18:18 No.67677766 boomers: >"THERE'S A HUGE LABOR SHORTAGE, 6 MILLION JOBS OPENED UP, THEY'LL HIRE ANYONE WITHOUT EXPEIRENCE AND PAY 6 FIGURES STARTING" 166 KB JPG reality: >apply to 500 jobs >get 1 call back >it's a pyramid scheme

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Anon makes a discovery. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: klaZpqaG) H--------. >be me >be browsing r/greentext and realize their secret 42 KB JPG >redditors just go to 4chan to post a greentext so they can take a snapshot of it and post it on r/greentext for free karma >mfw >mfw I'm going to do it too : Anonymous (ID: 5+5HdrYy) 08/04/18(Sat)00:18:52 No.181088366 >>181088248 (OP) # No s---. That's why all the green texts on Reddit are so f------ bad Anonymous (ID: ai+A10eU 08/04/18(Sat)00:19:59 No.181088459 >>181088248 (OP) # Don't respond to this thread he'll use you in the reddit post 08/04/18(Sat)00:17:24 No.181088248
: Anonymous (ID: klaZpqaG) H--------. >be me >be browsing r/greentext and realize their secret 42 KB JPG >redditors just go to 4chan to post a greentext so they can take a snapshot of it and post it on r/greentext for free karma >mfw >mfw I'm going to do it too : Anonymous (ID: 5+5HdrYy) 08/04/18(Sat)00:18:52 No.181088366 >>181088248 (OP) # No s---. That's why all the green texts on Reddit are so f------ bad Anonymous (ID: ai+A10eU 08/04/18(Sat)00:19:59 No.181088459 >>181088248 (OP) # Don't respond to this thread he'll use you in the reddit post 08/04/18(Sat)00:17:24 No.181088248

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Anon watches Goodfellas | /r/Greentext

04/08/21(Thu)16:46:05 No.851616239 : Anonymous >Be me >Live in Florida >Not many people in my county have southern accents, but I do >girls seemed to really like it for some reason 150 KB JPG Then one day I decide to watch Goodfellas >really like it because I'm Italian (last name Fiorentino) and think being Italian is cool >Start repeating funny lines from the movie in a New York accent >It becomes my favorite movie >start watching other mob movies like Casino (sucked), Irishman (great story and movie but really long), Godfather part 2 (best in the trilogy by far), etc >start modeling my personality around these people >lose my accent >accidentally slip in to a New York accent at random times >begin wearing Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts >begin smoking cigars >talk in a New York accent al the time >go from 180lbs to 250 eating so much chicken parm and pinwheels >girls no longer interested in me Why do I do this to myself /b/? Is there any way to go back to normal?
04/08/21(Thu)16:46:05 No.851616239 : Anonymous >Be me >Live in Florida >Not many people in my county have southern accents, but I do >girls seemed to really like it for some reason 150 KB JPG Then one day I decide to watch Goodfellas >really like it because I'm Italian (last name Fiorentino) and think being Italian is cool >Start repeating funny lines from the movie in a New York accent >It becomes my favorite movie >start watching other mob movies like Casino (sucked), Irishman (great story and movie but really long), Godfather part 2 (best in the trilogy by far), etc >start modeling my personality around these people >lose my accent >accidentally slip in to a New York accent at random times >begin wearing Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts >begin smoking cigars >talk in a New York accent al the time >go from 180lbs to 250 eating so much chicken parm and pinwheels >girls no longer interested in me Why do I do this to myself /b/? Is there any way to go back to normal?

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Anon tries edibles | /r/Greentext

>work s----- retail job >coworker brings in edibles one day >get super high with everyone at work >feelsgoodman.png >decide I wanna make my own edibles >next weekend make firecrackers >recommended dose is .10 grams per 100 KB JPG cracker >put 1G per cracker because I'm autistic >invite over friends to come get high >eat the firecrackers >5/10 taste because of so much weed >waiting for edibles to kick in >45 minutes later >decide to watch shrek the musical >edibles start to kick in >immediately filled with regret >can't move >can't speak >look over at friends >one friend is praying to Jesus >he's an atheist >other friend is quietly talking to himself about lizards >still can't move >begin to have panic attack >think I'm dying >this whole time shrek the musical is still playing >can't reach phone to call for help >think my last moment in life will be dying to shrek the musical >suddenly pass out >wake up 15 hours later >friends are super mad at me >worth it
>work s----- retail job >coworker brings in edibles one day >get super high with everyone at work >feelsgoodman.png >decide I wanna make my own edibles >next weekend make firecrackers >recommended dose is .10 grams per 100 KB JPG cracker >put 1G per cracker because I'm autistic >invite over friends to come get high >eat the firecrackers >5/10 taste because of so much weed >waiting for edibles to kick in >45 minutes later >decide to watch shrek the musical >edibles start to kick in >immediately filled with regret >can't move >can't speak >look over at friends >one friend is praying to Jesus >he's an atheist >other friend is quietly talking to himself about lizards >still can't move >begin to have panic attack >think I'm dying >this whole time shrek the musical is still playing >can't reach phone to call for help >think my last moment in life will be dying to shrek the musical >suddenly pass out >wake up 15 hours later >friends are super mad at me >worth it

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Niceguy maniacal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)01:14:15 No.597894268 Nice guys can't f---. 1636606474796.jpg 134 KB JPG >>597894704 # >>597895668 # >>597896468 # >>597896580 # >>597896839 # >>597897047 # >>597897708 # >>597897832 # >>597899467 # >>597899634 # >>597899780 # >>597899934 # >>597901271 # : Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)01:19:43 No.597894704 >>597894268 # >nice guys can't f--- I can if I r--- you at gunpoint, stupid bitch >>597894802 # >>597894908 # >>597895013 # >>597895017 # >>597895368 # >>597895445 # Anonymous >>597896565 # >>597896820 # >>597897047 # >>597897583 # Anonymous 05/05 NYC ZOUR 2007 05/05/22(Thu)01:23:43 No.597895013 >>597894704 # That's not very nice.
Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)01:14:15 No.597894268 Nice guys can't f---. 1636606474796.jpg 134 KB JPG >>597894704 # >>597895668 # >>597896468 # >>597896580 # >>597896839 # >>597897047 # >>597897708 # >>597897832 # >>597899467 # >>597899634 # >>597899780 # >>597899934 # >>597901271 # : Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)01:19:43 No.597894704 >>597894268 # >nice guys can't f--- I can if I r--- you at gunpoint, stupid bitch >>597894802 # >>597894908 # >>597895013 # >>597895017 # >>597895368 # >>597895445 # Anonymous >>597896565 # >>597896820 # >>597897047 # >>597897583 # Anonymous 05/05 NYC ZOUR 2007 05/05/22(Thu)01:23:43 No.597895013 >>597894704 # That's not very nice.

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Anon is Brazilian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 KB JPG ridden s------- 05/26/22(Thu)07:08:37 No.165315173 >Only five months into 2022, more than 17000 people, including 650 children, have been shot and killed in the United States. >Five months into 2022, Brazil registers about 15000 homicides Things are starting to get really ugly for Shitmerica. Don't they dare call Brazil a crime- ever again
Anonymous 26 KB JPG ridden s------- 05/26/22(Thu)07:08:37 No.165315173 >Only five months into 2022, more than 17000 people, including 650 children, have been shot and killed in the United States. >Five months into 2022, Brazil registers about 15000 homicides Things are starting to get really ugly for Shitmerica. Don't they dare call Brazil a crime- ever again

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Anon uncovers the truth | /r/Greentext

12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling : Anonymous
12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling : Anonymous

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Anon cant stop eating | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/22(Fri)17:37:44 No.878966548 > be me > 18 > 6 feet and 160 pounds weight so I am somehow slim but I also hit the gym > every half year I get THE HUNGER for around two or three weeks 47 KB JPG > I eat around 3500 every day in my hunger period > I usually gain 5 pounds but I grow up for literally 1,5 inch in these 2 weeks > mfw I can feel that hunger period is coming soon > mfw I ate two whole pizzas and steak yesterday > my mom: "Please anon stop eating" How is this scientific possible? Why dont I gain any fat but only growing? I literally cant stop eating these days, I feel like a bear.
: Anonymous 05/27/22(Fri)17:37:44 No.878966548 > be me > 18 > 6 feet and 160 pounds weight so I am somehow slim but I also hit the gym > every half year I get THE HUNGER for around two or three weeks 47 KB JPG > I eat around 3500 every day in my hunger period > I usually gain 5 pounds but I grow up for literally 1,5 inch in these 2 weeks > mfw I can feel that hunger period is coming soon > mfw I ate two whole pizzas and steak yesterday > my mom: "Please anon stop eating" How is this scientific possible? Why dont I gain any fat but only growing? I literally cant stop eating these days, I feel like a bear.

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Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/22(Wed)13:40:26 No.17890685 Do you enjoy your gf's cooking? 662 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/25/22(Wed)14:24:26 No.17890779 >>17890685 (OP) # My grandfather died when I was very young so l have no idea >"sir he's asking about your girlfriend" OH yes girlfriend. I definitely have one of those. I'll just go talk to her about it >Exit stage right and gunshot goes off >>17890905 #
: Anonymous 05/25/22(Wed)13:40:26 No.17890685 Do you enjoy your gf's cooking? 662 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/25/22(Wed)14:24:26 No.17890779 >>17890685 (OP) # My grandfather died when I was very young so l have no idea >"sir he's asking about your girlfriend" OH yes girlfriend. I definitely have one of those. I'll just go talk to her about it >Exit stage right and gunshot goes off >>17890905 #

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Anon thinks outside the box. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)14:34:35 No.876694683 >be me >Mexican >depressed and suicidal, but don't want my death to look like a suicide >realize that elections are 60 KB JPG happening soon and get an idea >enter the race on a strong anti- crime platform, and say that I will pass laws to combat organized crime and drug trafficking in Mexico >a few days later, a nice cartel man knocks on my door and shoots me in the head Thank you cartel man
: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)14:34:35 No.876694683 >be me >Mexican >depressed and suicidal, but don't want my death to look like a suicide >realize that elections are 60 KB JPG happening soon and get an idea >enter the race on a strong anti- crime platform, and say that I will pass laws to combat organized crime and drug trafficking in Mexico >a few days later, a nice cartel man knocks on my door and shoots me in the head Thank you cartel man

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Anon had a dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/22(Fri) 12:54:58 No.878972831 hey b my dad just died yesterday and I really need to tell you who he was, what kind of man he was and why I am the luckiest man ever to have had him >be me 77 KB JPG >7 year old, happy kid >in school in 2nd grade, brother in 4th and sister in Kindergarten >getting out of school and looking for mom, see dad standing at the curb instead >f------ t---, dad is always at work, this is a Wednesday >asks my brother where he wants to go, Shawn says ICE CREAM M------------ >we get ice cream >asks me where I want to go >I saw the park >go to the park for a couple hours >asks my sister where she wants to go. We coached her at the park and she says "PIZZA" at our local place >get pizza, all of us freaking out, it's past 8 by this time >after dinner takes us to get ice cream AGAIN >we get home, he puts us right to bed, tucks us in and when we asked where mommy is he said "She's not here kiddo, go to sleep" >wake up next day at 10, we all freaking panic, missed school >dad sits us down, tells us the bad news. Mom won't be coming home. Mom is dead. In my teens find out suicide. >world is ruined that man, that man. he found out the woman he had been with since he was 17 years old killed herself, took an hour to grieve and then picked us all up from school and gave us one last day of happiness, one last great memory before everything changed. That's the kind of guy Mike was. And I miss Mike. hug your dad
: Anonymous 05/27/22(Fri) 12:54:58 No.878972831 hey b my dad just died yesterday and I really need to tell you who he was, what kind of man he was and why I am the luckiest man ever to have had him >be me 77 KB JPG >7 year old, happy kid >in school in 2nd grade, brother in 4th and sister in Kindergarten >getting out of school and looking for mom, see dad standing at the curb instead >f------ t---, dad is always at work, this is a Wednesday >asks my brother where he wants to go, Shawn says ICE CREAM M------------ >we get ice cream >asks me where I want to go >I saw the park >go to the park for a couple hours >asks my sister where she wants to go. We coached her at the park and she says "PIZZA" at our local place >get pizza, all of us freaking out, it's past 8 by this time >after dinner takes us to get ice cream AGAIN >we get home, he puts us right to bed, tucks us in and when we asked where mommy is he said "She's not here kiddo, go to sleep" >wake up next day at 10, we all freaking panic, missed school >dad sits us down, tells us the bad news. Mom won't be coming home. Mom is dead. In my teens find out suicide. >world is ruined that man, that man. he found out the woman he had been with since he was 17 years old killed herself, took an hour to grieve and then picked us all up from school and gave us one last day of happiness, one last great memory before everything changed. That's the kind of guy Mike was. And I miss Mike. hug your dad

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The US has a problem. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: YFbDozoa 05/24/22(Tue) 20:30:39 No.379332776 >be United States >have mass shootings back to back >not the only country whose citizens have guns >am the only country without universal Healthcare 72 KB JPG > also the cost of living is through the roof >rapid inflation >stagnant wages >out of touch boomers kept in congress >watch people blame the guns again >roll out some b------- policies that will never pass congress to make people happy >everyone argues over 2nd amendment and blames the conservatives >they'll riot across the country for one man dying but not for basic living standards >won't riot over dead children either >nobody argues about healthcare, cost of living, or congress term limits >another successful day completely avoiding the real issues
: Anonymous (ID: YFbDozoa 05/24/22(Tue) 20:30:39 No.379332776 >be United States >have mass shootings back to back >not the only country whose citizens have guns >am the only country without universal Healthcare 72 KB JPG > also the cost of living is through the roof >rapid inflation >stagnant wages >out of touch boomers kept in congress >watch people blame the guns again >roll out some b------- policies that will never pass congress to make people happy >everyone argues over 2nd amendment and blames the conservatives >they'll riot across the country for one man dying but not for basic living standards >won't riot over dead children either >nobody argues about healthcare, cost of living, or congress term limits >another successful day completely avoiding the real issues

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Anon cures his friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:33:19 No.63187523 >Be Incel virgin >gay friend offers me to give me a blowie >I pull down my c-- stained pants, pull away the layers of fat the gooish ultra long pubic hair half dried c-- mix to reveal my boner waiting for his gay mouth to suck it 35 KB JPG >as he starts sucking my c---, i immediately c-- and he pukes over me >a month later I see him holding hands with a girl >ask him why hes doing that, i thought he was a f-- >tells me that after this experience the male body no longer arouses him >mfw i cured my gay friend
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:33:19 No.63187523 >Be Incel virgin >gay friend offers me to give me a blowie >I pull down my c-- stained pants, pull away the layers of fat the gooish ultra long pubic hair half dried c-- mix to reveal my boner waiting for his gay mouth to suck it 35 KB JPG >as he starts sucking my c---, i immediately c-- and he pukes over me >a month later I see him holding hands with a girl >ask him why hes doing that, i thought he was a f-- >tells me that after this experience the male body no longer arouses him >mfw i cured my gay friend

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Satan wants some answers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: KFVdBc5Y 05/26/22(Thu)18:35:35 No.379655666 >gunman shoots grandma, no calls >gunman crashes truck in ditch and shoots at people in a graveyard >stands outside school for 12 minutes shooting rounds with no interference >walks inside unlocked back yard >shoots at two cops who show up inside hallway >cops run away >gunman walks into classroom that didn't get locked despite shooting outside for 12 minutes and inside hallway >a hundred cops show up, taking out their own kids out while shooter slaughters classroom >an hour passes with him continuing to kill >police mace, taze, and arrest parents trying to get inside >off duty border patrol agent goes in by himself with a key >why do you need a key to open a door when you have rifles and a hundred men >kills gunman The absolute f--- actually happened here? >>379655840 # >>379656028 # >>379656472 # >>379656636 # >>379657538 # >>379657570 # >>379657852 # >>379660186 # >>379660351 # >>379662303 # >>379662344 # >>379662622 # >>379662638 # >>379662855 # >>379663955 # >>379664991 # >>379665211 # >>379665246 # >>379666393 # >>379666564 # >>379666594 # >>379666827 # >>379666925 # >>379666965 # >>379667269 # >>379667297 # >>379667613 # >>379667790 # >>379667906 # >>379668152 # >>379668413 # >>379668816 # >>379668900 # >>379669981 #
: Anonymous (ID: KFVdBc5Y 05/26/22(Thu)18:35:35 No.379655666 >gunman shoots grandma, no calls >gunman crashes truck in ditch and shoots at people in a graveyard >stands outside school for 12 minutes shooting rounds with no interference >walks inside unlocked back yard >shoots at two cops who show up inside hallway >cops run away >gunman walks into classroom that didn't get locked despite shooting outside for 12 minutes and inside hallway >a hundred cops show up, taking out their own kids out while shooter slaughters classroom >an hour passes with him continuing to kill >police mace, taze, and arrest parents trying to get inside >off duty border patrol agent goes in by himself with a key >why do you need a key to open a door when you have rifles and a hundred men >kills gunman The absolute f--- actually happened here? >>379655840 # >>379656028 # >>379656472 # >>379656636 # >>379657538 # >>379657570 # >>379657852 # >>379660186 # >>379660351 # >>379662303 # >>379662344 # >>379662622 # >>379662638 # >>379662855 # >>379663955 # >>379664991 # >>379665211 # >>379665246 # >>379666393 # >>379666564 # >>379666594 # >>379666827 # >>379666925 # >>379666965 # >>379667269 # >>379667297 # >>379667613 # >>379667790 # >>379667906 # >>379668152 # >>379668413 # >>379668816 # >>379668900 # >>379669981 #

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Sorry grandpa | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/10(Wed)18:49 File :1279147765740.jpg-(18 bitch." >my face S---, I'm sorry, grandpa No.66942573 KB, 167x237, jesusfuckingchristfledgeling.jpg) >Grandfather watching me play Far Cry 2 >It's raining, and I'm in the middle of the jungle, trying to revive a fallen partner >"Keep trying, son" >I keep trying to revive him, but he dies anyway >Grandfather mutters "Aw s--- this brings me back. Son of a
Anonymous 07/14/10(Wed)18:49 File :1279147765740.jpg-(18 bitch." >my face S---, I'm sorry, grandpa No.66942573 KB, 167x237, jesusfuckingchristfledgeling.jpg) >Grandfather watching me play Far Cry 2 >It's raining, and I'm in the middle of the jungle, trying to revive a fallen partner >"Keep trying, son" >I keep trying to revive him, but he dies anyway >Grandfather mutters "Aw s--- this brings me back. Son of a

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Anon encounters the yeezy wearer | /r/Greentext

hace 1 hora ... >see some fuccboi highschooler wearing yeezys >dare my friend to go up to him and tell him they're fake >kid immediately gets defensive and butthurt >starts dissing on my friend's shoes >friend tells him to not care so much >kid is obviously p----- off until he walks off in a huff >I sit in the back laughing my ass off Are all Yeezy wearers like this? 1 REPLY 0 IMAGES Anonymous 10795391 Hace 54 min >walking about wearing my yeezys >guy comes up to my mumbling something about wanting a shake >ask him to raise his voice >Accuses my shoes of being fake >tell him to piss off with his skater shoes >accuses me of caring too much when he approa me in the first place >tells me it was a dare or some s--- like that >finally realize he's retarded and walk off >Notice his bf laughing in a corner Anonymous 10795355 REPLY +
hace 1 hora ... >see some fuccboi highschooler wearing yeezys >dare my friend to go up to him and tell him they're fake >kid immediately gets defensive and butthurt >starts dissing on my friend's shoes >friend tells him to not care so much >kid is obviously p----- off until he walks off in a huff >I sit in the back laughing my ass off Are all Yeezy wearers like this? 1 REPLY 0 IMAGES Anonymous 10795391 Hace 54 min >walking about wearing my yeezys >guy comes up to my mumbling something about wanting a shake >ask him to raise his voice >Accuses my shoes of being fake >tell him to piss off with his skater shoes >accuses me of caring too much when he approa me in the first place >tells me it was a dare or some s--- like that >finally realize he's retarded and walk off >Notice his bf laughing in a corner Anonymous 10795355 REPLY +

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