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Anon is Skeptical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB JPG >Start reacting to her ig stories >She answers back >Decide to channel my inner chad >Ask her out >She accepts >Date goes well >Shared a dessert >Make out with her >We're planning another date Ok, what's wrong? Where's the catch now? 05/31/22(Tue)17:39:30 No.879251710 >be me >Not particularly ugly, good job, but socially awkward >Have years-long crush on 10/10 asian qt3.14 >Pic related, kinda looks like rae lil black before she became a bimbo
: Anonymous 21 KB JPG >Start reacting to her ig stories >She answers back >Decide to channel my inner chad >Ask her out >She accepts >Date goes well >Shared a dessert >Make out with her >We're planning another date Ok, what's wrong? Where's the catch now? 05/31/22(Tue)17:39:30 No.879251710 >be me >Not particularly ugly, good job, but socially awkward >Have years-long crush on 10/10 asian qt3.14 >Pic related, kinda looks like rae lil black before she became a bimbo

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Anon helps a homeless man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/18(Sun)21:15:30 No.758246137 1jxqqy.jpg 80 KB JPG Okay /b/ I have a story for you guys. > be me > walking home from work > see homeless guy asking for some change for food > I tell him I'll buy him some food in the 7/11 > he seems super happy about it > we walk into the 7/11 and I start buying him some food > I ask him if he is thirsty > he says yes so i take him to the cooler but he says "do you mind if I get something else?" > I was hoping he wouldn't ask for alcohol > "I haven't had chocolate milk in years" he said > I buy him his things > tfw when I go home and start crying in my living room over what just happened I am not kidding. I cried because of what he said about the chocolate milk.
: Anonymous 01/28/18(Sun)21:15:30 No.758246137 1jxqqy.jpg 80 KB JPG Okay /b/ I have a story for you guys. > be me > walking home from work > see homeless guy asking for some change for food > I tell him I'll buy him some food in the 7/11 > he seems super happy about it > we walk into the 7/11 and I start buying him some food > I ask him if he is thirsty > he says yes so i take him to the cooler but he says "do you mind if I get something else?" > I was hoping he wouldn't ask for alcohol > "I haven't had chocolate milk in years" he said > I buy him his things > tfw when I go home and start crying in my living room over what just happened I am not kidding. I cried because of what he said about the chocolate milk.

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>story.mp4 /...... | /r/Greentext

>Maxed out my weights (unrelated) >Go to D---'s Sporting Goods >Grab a 45lb plate in each hand, head to check out >Cashier is 8/10 petite in a pink t-shirt >Plates make a satisfying thud as I lay them on the counter >She mirin' >I feel like a bear >I realize I am bear >Maul the cashier >Hibernate for the winter
>Maxed out my weights (unrelated) >Go to D---'s Sporting Goods >Grab a 45lb plate in each hand, head to check out >Cashier is 8/10 petite in a pink t-shirt >Plates make a satisfying thud as I lay them on the counter >She mirin' >I feel like a bear >I realize I am bear >Maul the cashier >Hibernate for the winter

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Anon has doubts about christianity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31 KB JPG 03/09/21 (Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard View Thread Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images
Anonymous 31 KB JPG 03/09/21 (Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard View Thread Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images

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anon’s success story | /r/Greentext

05/31/22(Tue)16:45:43 No.68861947 >be me a few years ago, very autistic horrible alcoholic depressed NEET hungry skeleton, living with mom, can't even afford tendies >decide to just say f--- it and go for the trades 1004 KB JPG >get a few s--- construction jobs over the course of a year or so but learn a little bit each time, get a little stronger, a little smarter. make a few more friends, buy a few more tools, learn a little more espanol >eventually get hired as an electrician's helper at this one place >break a lot of stuff and dig a lot of holes >1 year later I'm promoted to crew leader and given my own van >2 years and they're asking me to head the entire field division at the new office in the next town over >meanwhile start working for my buddy on the weekends doing sketchy s--- and effectively double my income >move into $1500/month apartment >buy $42,000 truck >Doordash every night in front of my 75" TV >shop Amazon for fun >in the best physical shape of my life, able to afford decent clothing and regular haircuts When I look in the mirror these days, I think "Who's that guy? He's looking pretty good." Becomes a tradesman, Anon
05/31/22(Tue)16:45:43 No.68861947 >be me a few years ago, very autistic horrible alcoholic depressed NEET hungry skeleton, living with mom, can't even afford tendies >decide to just say f--- it and go for the trades 1004 KB JPG >get a few s--- construction jobs over the course of a year or so but learn a little bit each time, get a little stronger, a little smarter. make a few more friends, buy a few more tools, learn a little more espanol >eventually get hired as an electrician's helper at this one place >break a lot of stuff and dig a lot of holes >1 year later I'm promoted to crew leader and given my own van >2 years and they're asking me to head the entire field division at the new office in the next town over >meanwhile start working for my buddy on the weekends doing sketchy s--- and effectively double my income >move into $1500/month apartment >buy $42,000 truck >Doordash every night in front of my 75" TV >shop Amazon for fun >in the best physical shape of my life, able to afford decent clothing and regular haircuts When I look in the mirror these days, I think "Who's that guy? He's looking pretty good." Becomes a tradesman, Anon

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Everyone in that sub and me :) | /r/Greentext


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Anon lifts for all that we believe in | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/30/22(Mon)02:58:10 No.66976113 20220522_161446.jpg 1003 KB JPG I lift for my kitty so I can protect him from all danger
Anonymous 05/30/22(Mon)02:58:10 No.66976113 20220522_161446.jpg 1003 KB JPG I lift for my kitty so I can protect him from all danger

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anon tells a joke | /r/Greentext

●●● Anonymous No.264820315 4 hours ago >>264820071 >playing some uplink >friend comes into my dorm >"hey what's good- H-------- WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >Man I'm hacking this school database to give this guy a masters degree so I can get f------ paid. >H-------- BRO WHAT >he actually pulled the power cord out of the wall >I turn to him and yell WHAT THE F--- I DIDN'T COVER MY TRACKS YET, THE FBI WILL F--- ME UP FOR THIS, AND NOW YOU'RE AN ACCOMPLICE!! >he ran out of my room screaming >I had a good 20 minute laugh
●●● Anonymous No.264820315 4 hours ago >>264820071 >playing some uplink >friend comes into my dorm >"hey what's good- H-------- WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >Man I'm hacking this school database to give this guy a masters degree so I can get f------ paid. >H-------- BRO WHAT >he actually pulled the power cord out of the wall >I turn to him and yell WHAT THE F--- I DIDN'T COVER MY TRACKS YET, THE FBI WILL F--- ME UP FOR THIS, AND NOW YOU'RE AN ACCOMPLICE!! >he ran out of my room screaming >I had a good 20 minute laugh

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Be you | reddit fag | /r/Greentext

08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. View Thread Anonymous 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image
08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. View Thread Anonymous 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image

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anon finds the key to happiness | /r/Greentext

Greeks were polytheistic and believed that the gods were immortal, but also that they had human qualities; religion became the basis for Greek mythology >read the Iliad and the odyssey >decide to try living like the ancient Z King of the ge Atherin Goddess of wisdom atte Goddess of love Greeks Gad of an & mais fm Gad of w tedes God of underworld Goddess of family >start eating lots of lamb, vegetables, olive oil, garlic, fish >ready only Ancient 158 KB JPG Greek/Roman/Mediterranean literature and philosophy >sun my balls every day >start training more compounds, especially Olympic lifts >start growing a beard >listen to meditterranean music >drink only cheap red wine >refer to myself in the 3rd person as "zorba" >lifts skyrocket >interest from women skyrockets H-------- guys why didn't you tell me this was the key to happiness
Greeks were polytheistic and believed that the gods were immortal, but also that they had human qualities; religion became the basis for Greek mythology >read the Iliad and the odyssey >decide to try living like the ancient Z King of the ge Atherin Goddess of wisdom atte Goddess of love Greeks Gad of an & mais fm Gad of w tedes God of underworld Goddess of family >start eating lots of lamb, vegetables, olive oil, garlic, fish >ready only Ancient 158 KB JPG Greek/Roman/Mediterranean literature and philosophy >sun my balls every day >start training more compounds, especially Olympic lifts >start growing a beard >listen to meditterranean music >drink only cheap red wine >refer to myself in the 3rd person as "zorba" >lifts skyrocket >interest from women skyrockets H-------- guys why didn't you tell me this was the key to happiness

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Anon Likes TF2 Sniper

03/17/22(Thu)12:29:19 No.874585074 : Anonymous >be me >be fan of tf2 >love sniper >have figurine and body pillow >gotta smash 21 KB JPG >match with girl on tinder >whatasexysheila.mp3 >chat her up, eventually convince her to come to the sniper den >realizing on the way to my room >ohfuck.png >I left all my tf2 s--- out in the open >too late >she comes inside my room >sees my jarate >sees my body pillow I forgot to hide >sees my figurine >sees posters of commissioned art of sniper >sees hl2.exe open >looks at me with unbridled disgust >oh god what do >tard panick >flick her on the head with my finger >whisper under my breath >"boom headshawt" I haven't heard back from her since.
03/17/22(Thu)12:29:19 No.874585074 : Anonymous >be me >be fan of tf2 >love sniper >have figurine and body pillow >gotta smash 21 KB JPG >match with girl on tinder >whatasexysheila.mp3 >chat her up, eventually convince her to come to the sniper den >realizing on the way to my room >ohfuck.png >I left all my tf2 s--- out in the open >too late >she comes inside my room >sees my jarate >sees my body pillow I forgot to hide >sees my figurine >sees posters of commissioned art of sniper >sees hl2.exe open >looks at me with unbridled disgust >oh god what do >tard panick >flick her on the head with my finger >whisper under my breath >"boom headshawt" I haven't heard back from her since.

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Anon likes transformers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)02:16:31 No.879261593 >be me >3 years old >love transformers >power goes out while mom is making spaghetti >favorite dish is ruined 29 KB JPG >ask mom why power went out >she says transformer blew it up >now I hate transformers 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)02:16:31 No.879261593 >be me >3 years old >love transformers >power goes out while mom is making spaghetti >favorite dish is ruined 29 KB JPG >ask mom why power went out >she says transformer blew it up >now I hate transformers 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon cannot be fooled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/15(Wed)22:56:01 No.642863132 >>642860186 (OP) # >work at liqour store >see obviously underage girls enter and rush to the back >hear them whispering and discussing what to get >they grab heaven hill vodka >they try and check out and I ask for I'd >they "lost" it but one says her dad says its ok she's 22 >laugh at them and tell them gtfo >same girl tells me her dad is rich blah blah >they leave and I start eating a pickle in a bag >drive thru bell rings >walk over and see its the same girls >they freak out one says that there should have been someone else >I stare at them eating my pickle >they speed off >good pickle
: Anonymous 09/23/15(Wed)22:56:01 No.642863132 >>642860186 (OP) # >work at liqour store >see obviously underage girls enter and rush to the back >hear them whispering and discussing what to get >they grab heaven hill vodka >they try and check out and I ask for I'd >they "lost" it but one says her dad says its ok she's 22 >laugh at them and tell them gtfo >same girl tells me her dad is rich blah blah >they leave and I start eating a pickle in a bag >drive thru bell rings >walk over and see its the same girls >they freak out one says that there should have been someone else >I stare at them eating my pickle >they speed off >good pickle

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Anon learns a childhood lesson. | /r/Greentext

12/31/18(Mon)16:26:08 No.788735948 Anonymous Here's a childhood story for you /b/ros >be me a long time ago >age 8 86 KB PNG >at public pool because poor >there's a Chinese guy in the water in the deep end >all I know about Asians is shot I saw on looney tunes >so I'm sitting in the shallow end bowing and saying s--- like "oh herro, Ching Chong Ching" >badidea.jpg >this f------ guy doesn't say one word but after about 15 minutes of me mocking him he swims over >grabs me by my leg and drags me out to the deep end and swims away >Ididntknowhowtoswim.wav >so as he swims away like a silent water ninja I'm trying not to f------ die That was the day I learned not to f--- with Asians.
12/31/18(Mon)16:26:08 No.788735948 Anonymous Here's a childhood story for you /b/ros >be me a long time ago >age 8 86 KB PNG >at public pool because poor >there's a Chinese guy in the water in the deep end >all I know about Asians is shot I saw on looney tunes >so I'm sitting in the shallow end bowing and saying s--- like "oh herro, Ching Chong Ching" >badidea.jpg >this f------ guy doesn't say one word but after about 15 minutes of me mocking him he swims over >grabs me by my leg and drags me out to the deep end and swims away >Ididntknowhowtoswim.wav >so as he swims away like a silent water ninja I'm trying not to f------ die That was the day I learned not to f--- with Asians.

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anon goes on reddit | /r/Greentext

Us US Strategic Command !!OyDZQ6GDs9Q (ID: ybSNf/Oc) Anti-Work sentiment 10/17/21(Sun)09:24:58 No.343759254 >go onto reddit >there's a sub that's growing fast called "r/antiwork" >it's literally fast food employees saying they deserve $50/hr for pressing buttons all day 85 KB JPG >one person wanted $200 per hour because "that's how it was in the 50's" >everyone else just doesn't want to work at all and thinks working at all is against their human rights >complain that there are "poor" people in America (even though being poor in the US still means you have cable, smartphone, food, and usually internet) The f--- is this? Is this sub the epitome of wagie cope? Nobody on the sub has a meaningful job, it's all fast food employees who are retarded. Seriously, the most "respectable" occupation from someone on that sub was a BARTENDER. Fa
Us US Strategic Command !!OyDZQ6GDs9Q (ID: ybSNf/Oc) Anti-Work sentiment 10/17/21(Sun)09:24:58 No.343759254 >go onto reddit >there's a sub that's growing fast called "r/antiwork" >it's literally fast food employees saying they deserve $50/hr for pressing buttons all day 85 KB JPG >one person wanted $200 per hour because "that's how it was in the 50's" >everyone else just doesn't want to work at all and thinks working at all is against their human rights >complain that there are "poor" people in America (even though being poor in the US still means you have cable, smartphone, food, and usually internet) The f--- is this? Is this sub the epitome of wagie cope? Nobody on the sub has a meaningful job, it's all fast food employees who are retarded. Seriously, the most "respectable" occupation from someone on that sub was a BARTENDER. Fa

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Anon gets a blowjob | /r/Greentext

Ok /b/ros this is the story of the day my dad stopped loving me >it happened a while back >I was 13 308 KB JPG >had recently started jacking off >had a friend who was a 14 year old chad >he got a b------ from some thot at the winter dance >fuckingcoolguy.jpg >asked him what it was like >"it's the f------ best anon, nothing feels better than lips around your d---" >gotta get me some of that. >but am anon, am ugly, am not athletic >have never ran without holding down X >idea.wav >we have a koi pond in the backyard.. >so one night I act on my idea and sneak out and abduct one of the fish from the pond >look it in the eye because you have to respect your lady amirite? >shove d--- in fish mouth >f------ the life (literally)out of this koi's throat >dad just f------ barges in my room >sees me with my d--- in the fish's mouth >I stare at him in horror >the koi stares at him with hope >he just shakes his head says "god damn it" and leaves >he didn't say a word to me for 13 years.
Ok /b/ros this is the story of the day my dad stopped loving me >it happened a while back >I was 13 308 KB JPG >had recently started jacking off >had a friend who was a 14 year old chad >he got a b------ from some thot at the winter dance >fuckingcoolguy.jpg >asked him what it was like >"it's the f------ best anon, nothing feels better than lips around your d---" >gotta get me some of that. >but am anon, am ugly, am not athletic >have never ran without holding down X >idea.wav >we have a koi pond in the backyard.. >so one night I act on my idea and sneak out and abduct one of the fish from the pond >look it in the eye because you have to respect your lady amirite? >shove d--- in fish mouth >f------ the life (literally)out of this koi's throat >dad just f------ barges in my room >sees me with my d--- in the fish's mouth >I stare at him in horror >the koi stares at him with hope >he just shakes his head says "god damn it" and leaves >he didn't say a word to me for 13 years.

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Anon is alone | /r/Greentext

>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work 13 KB JPG >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work 13 KB JPG >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

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wholesome. | /r/Greentext

greentext @rgreentext - 12h + anon watches twitch bit.ly/2F2RFHS : Anonymous >be me >depressed because dad is cheating on mom >mom mad all the time >friends feel distant 338 KB PNG >watch some smash bros on twitch >find zero >he makes me laugh and is really good >he makes me happy >thanks zero 27 1224 2.8K Tempo ZeRo Follow @zerowondering Replying to @rgreentext Much love anon. Hope it gets better and I'm sorry you are going through that. 7:06 AM - 2 Jan 2019 73 Retweets 1,678 Likes 2 173 1.7K 01/01/19(Tue)23:42:08 No.788859723
greentext @rgreentext - 12h + anon watches twitch bit.ly/2F2RFHS : Anonymous >be me >depressed because dad is cheating on mom >mom mad all the time >friends feel distant 338 KB PNG >watch some smash bros on twitch >find zero >he makes me laugh and is really good >he makes me happy >thanks zero 27 1224 2.8K Tempo ZeRo Follow @zerowondering Replying to @rgreentext Much love anon. Hope it gets better and I'm sorry you are going through that. 7:06 AM - 2 Jan 2019 73 Retweets 1,678 Likes 2 173 1.7K 01/01/19(Tue)23:42:08 No.788859723

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Anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

File: a06.png (388 KB, 680x643) gf finds out.. Anonymous 05/31/22(Tue)17:15:34 No.68853728 [Reply] >be me >jacking off to anime tiddies when I am wfh >gf comes from work >grabs me from my balls >you jacked off today right?? >lol no >you did anon how tf did she knows that?? can anyone explain?
File: a06.png (388 KB, 680x643) gf finds out.. Anonymous 05/31/22(Tue)17:15:34 No.68853728 [Reply] >be me >jacking off to anime tiddies when I am wfh >gf comes from work >grabs me from my balls >you jacked off today right?? >lol no >you did anon how tf did she knows that?? can anyone explain?

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anon hates thots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/18(Fri)23:47:25 No.49457715 ... 6 mins WHO REPORTED MY PREMIUM SNAPCHAT TO THE IRS? I'M BEING F------ AUDITED. 7 2 Comments like Comment Share joogpgrne6021.jpg 41 KB JPG My new hobby is reporting thots to the IRS. You can help too. For every substantial tip, you can be financially rewarded. https://www.irs.gov/compliance/whistleblower- informant-award https://www.irs.gov/individuals/how-do-you- report-suspected-tax-fraud-activity Tumblr and Instagram are especially profitable hunting grounds. Do your part to stop cyber prostitution.
: Anonymous 11/23/18(Fri)23:47:25 No.49457715 ... 6 mins WHO REPORTED MY PREMIUM SNAPCHAT TO THE IRS? I'M BEING F------ AUDITED. 7 2 Comments like Comment Share joogpgrne6021.jpg 41 KB JPG My new hobby is reporting thots to the IRS. You can help too. For every substantial tip, you can be financially rewarded. https://www.irs.gov/compliance/whistleblower- informant-award https://www.irs.gov/individuals/how-do-you- report-suspected-tax-fraud-activity Tumblr and Instagram are especially profitable hunting grounds. Do your part to stop cyber prostitution.

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