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Anon thinks about fantasy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)01:32:58 No.163869938 FIOR dragons-but-not-black.png 547 KB PNG You can accept dragons, elves and talking trees, but you can't accept a 2021 BMW 5 Series 530i with optional heated seating. Why are you so bigoted?
Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)01:32:58 No.163869938 FIOR dragons-but-not-black.png 547 KB PNG You can accept dragons, elves and talking trees, but you can't accept a 2021 BMW 5 Series 530i with optional heated seating. Why are you so bigoted?

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Anon went to bible camp | /r/Greentext

11/13/21(Sat)10:16:37 No.866631675 >be me >young >went to bible camp >talked about the gay >went to bed, we shared beds >man shalt never lay with man but here we were in our underwear laying next to Anonymous 3 KB JPG eachother >they say this wasnt gay >i said we layed with one another >called them f------ >left bible camp was gay
11/13/21(Sat)10:16:37 No.866631675 >be me >young >went to bible camp >talked about the gay >went to bed, we shared beds >man shalt never lay with man but here we were in our underwear laying next to Anonymous 3 KB JPG eachother >they say this wasnt gay >i said we layed with one another >called them f------ >left bible camp was gay

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Anon tries fasting. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Fasting 06/02/22(Thu)04:44:20 No.68880773 >be fat f--- >try water fasting for 3 days >tough at first but hunger begins to go away >suddenly feel energy I've never felt before in my life >finally feel alive 87 KB JPG >decide to break fast with a f------ juice box >each sip felt like I was shooting up heroin W-- why didn't anyone tell me fasting was this powerful?
Anonymous Fasting 06/02/22(Thu)04:44:20 No.68880773 >be fat f--- >try water fasting for 3 days >tough at first but hunger begins to go away >suddenly feel energy I've never felt before in my life >finally feel alive 87 KB JPG >decide to break fast with a f------ juice box >each sip felt like I was shooting up heroin W-- why didn't anyone tell me fasting was this powerful?

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Anon catches up with himself | /r/Greentext

02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on carpet and bed : Anonymous my 19 KB JPG >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me
02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on carpet and bed : Anonymous my 19 KB JPG >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me

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Anon supports the Legion | /r/Greentext

07/14/21 (Wed)13:30:39 No.64566197 : Anonymous >playing new vegas for the first time >go for legion faction and beat the game last night >post screenshot in discord gc about how I beat it 167 KB JPG >friend asks what faction I went for >say I went for legion cuz they seemed kinda cool >friend goes on a rant about how the legion is terrible because they r--- women and use them for slavery >tell him its just a video game and it doesnt matter >he tells me slavery is terrible and everyone who chooses the legion unironically is either a massive edgelord or just plain stupid holy f--- do people actually get this worked up about a f------ video game? it doesnt matter if i choose the people who enforce slavery or the people who commit war crimes its a f------ video game lol
07/14/21 (Wed)13:30:39 No.64566197 : Anonymous >playing new vegas for the first time >go for legion faction and beat the game last night >post screenshot in discord gc about how I beat it 167 KB JPG >friend asks what faction I went for >say I went for legion cuz they seemed kinda cool >friend goes on a rant about how the legion is terrible because they r--- women and use them for slavery >tell him its just a video game and it doesnt matter >he tells me slavery is terrible and everyone who chooses the legion unironically is either a massive edgelord or just plain stupid holy f--- do people actually get this worked up about a f------ video game? it doesnt matter if i choose the people who enforce slavery or the people who commit war crimes its a f------ video game lol

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Anon goes to the hairdresser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: VasOhbzw The Hairdresser That Wasn't(...) 06/02/22(Thu)14:58:18 No.380607206 >Be me >Go to a new place for haircut >Mum says she'll pay for it >18 year old out with his mum >Free haircut >worthit.png 11 KB JPG >Hairdresser is a 7/10 but she's my age >Never had a hairdresser under 40 before >Small talk about Tafe, she's also studying in the city as a hairdresser >I am completely socially retarded and nothing about this interaction comes naturally to me >Eventually conversation gets a little easier >Start imagining that she might be my wife some day >She mentions her boyfriend
: Anonymous (ID: VasOhbzw The Hairdresser That Wasn't(...) 06/02/22(Thu)14:58:18 No.380607206 >Be me >Go to a new place for haircut >Mum says she'll pay for it >18 year old out with his mum >Free haircut >worthit.png 11 KB JPG >Hairdresser is a 7/10 but she's my age >Never had a hairdresser under 40 before >Small talk about Tafe, she's also studying in the city as a hairdresser >I am completely socially retarded and nothing about this interaction comes naturally to me >Eventually conversation gets a little easier >Start imagining that she might be my wife some day >She mentions her boyfriend

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Anon is a murderer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Prisoner 36 Pepe aa 30 30 27 27 06/01/22(Wed)10:25:10 No.879294731 >Arrested for murder, case of mistaken identity >Homicide detective comes and starts to laugh. >Says I'm too much of a manlet to commit murder >Confess to murder. Sentenced to death PEPE 134 KB PNG >Who's the manlet now?
Anonymous Prisoner 36 Pepe aa 30 30 27 27 06/01/22(Wed)10:25:10 No.879294731 >Arrested for murder, case of mistaken identity >Homicide detective comes and starts to laugh. >Says I'm too much of a manlet to commit murder >Confess to murder. Sentenced to death PEPE 134 KB PNG >Who's the manlet now?

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Anon is optimistic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)16:51:02 No.50168540 File: 1522239664284.jpg (103 KB, 367x470) >>50156100 (OP) >22 years old >first time asking a girl on a date >she refused but thats ok because progress is progress 老厉害了 Awesome!
Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)16:51:02 No.50168540 File: 1522239664284.jpg (103 KB, 367x470) >>50156100 (OP) >22 years old >first time asking a girl on a date >she refused but thats ok because progress is progress 老厉害了 Awesome!

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Anon knows their abbreviations | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:09:37 No.335125501 >>335124507 # This info is outdated anyway, FWIW >>335125745 # >>335126071 # : Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:12:07 No.335125745 >>335125501 # FWIW means...? >>335125858 # : Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:13:19 No.335125858 >>335125745 # folga wooga imoga womp
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:09:37 No.335125501 >>335124507 # This info is outdated anyway, FWIW >>335125745 # >>335126071 # : Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:12:07 No.335125745 >>335125501 # FWIW means...? >>335125858 # : Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:13:19 No.335125858 >>335125745 # folga wooga imoga womp

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The epiphany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed) 23:50:28 No.879311945 Screenshot_20220601-233122.jpg 118 KB JPG >start watching a new show with my roommates >was suspicious of the concept at first but damn, it's actually got an interesting premise and gorgeous art, well written and everything >second episode in, already invested, when in the middle of a scene two of my roommates burst out laughing and the third one yells "SEE? F------ TOLD YOU!" >he hits pause >new character that was just introduced looks exactly f------ like me >down to the f------ haircut >show remains paused until they're done laughing about how the f--- does that even happen >never been more f------ baffled by something in my life, but try to act normal despite of seeing my own goddamn face on an animated screen >continue watching with them and do my best to just seem nonchalant about it >internally get mildly obsessed with this little guy >never read fanfiction in my life but look some up purely out of curiosity and satisfy some weird craving I've never had before >h-------- there's so much p--- >some of it incredibly sweet and gentle, some deeply f----- up >apparently doing both in the same story is a whole genre of fanfiction >there's women out there who would yearn to deeply brutalise, comfort, or do both to this sad mad scientist cripple shrimp guy >who f------ looks exactly like me >become invested in self-insert fics >there's girls writing themselves into the world of the show for no other reason than to f--- this sad little man >who looks like me >mfw it truly, deeply, viscerally, sinks in for me that the true reason I can't get laid is because of my personality
: Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed) 23:50:28 No.879311945 Screenshot_20220601-233122.jpg 118 KB JPG >start watching a new show with my roommates >was suspicious of the concept at first but damn, it's actually got an interesting premise and gorgeous art, well written and everything >second episode in, already invested, when in the middle of a scene two of my roommates burst out laughing and the third one yells "SEE? F------ TOLD YOU!" >he hits pause >new character that was just introduced looks exactly f------ like me >down to the f------ haircut >show remains paused until they're done laughing about how the f--- does that even happen >never been more f------ baffled by something in my life, but try to act normal despite of seeing my own goddamn face on an animated screen >continue watching with them and do my best to just seem nonchalant about it >internally get mildly obsessed with this little guy >never read fanfiction in my life but look some up purely out of curiosity and satisfy some weird craving I've never had before >h-------- there's so much p--- >some of it incredibly sweet and gentle, some deeply f----- up >apparently doing both in the same story is a whole genre of fanfiction >there's women out there who would yearn to deeply brutalise, comfort, or do both to this sad mad scientist cripple shrimp guy >who f------ looks exactly like me >become invested in self-insert fics >there's girls writing themselves into the world of the show for no other reason than to f--- this sad little man >who looks like me >mfw it truly, deeply, viscerally, sinks in for me that the true reason I can't get laid is because of my personality

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Upside down anons play the long game | /r/Greentext

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down
12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:07 No.132843276 03BFC167-6DBE-43ED-A53E-F7614ECDD2BA.jpg 24 KB JPG >"Rey.....Rey Skywalker" Absolute garbage. I left the theater after I heard it : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:18:02 No.132843321 >>132843276 (OP) # Ye no s--- that's when the movie ended >>132843340 # >>132843556 # >>132844401 #
: Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:07 No.132843276 03BFC167-6DBE-43ED-A53E-F7614ECDD2BA.jpg 24 KB JPG >"Rey.....Rey Skywalker" Absolute garbage. I left the theater after I heard it : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:18:02 No.132843321 >>132843276 (OP) # Ye no s--- that's when the movie ended >>132843340 # >>132843556 # >>132844401 #

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anon is a nerd | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG 06/01/22(Wed)16:33:48 No.879311113 >MFW I realize I'm the kind of guy my dad would have bullied in high school
: Anonymous 41 KB JPG 06/01/22(Wed)16:33:48 No.879311113 >MFW I realize I'm the kind of guy my dad would have bullied in high school

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The secret menu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Retail feels thread 118 KB JPG >wink at her as she leaves >she winks back That was actually kind of cool. 06/01/22(Wed)19:11:32 No.68875207 >woman comes up to me asking about some discount >tell her I can't do it and the higher ups probably won't do it but let her know that if she complains enough they'll just give it to her >watch her complain and finally get her way
: Anonymous Retail feels thread 118 KB JPG >wink at her as she leaves >she winks back That was actually kind of cool. 06/01/22(Wed)19:11:32 No.68875207 >woman comes up to me asking about some discount >tell her I can't do it and the higher ups probably won't do it but let her know that if she complains enough they'll just give it to her >watch her complain and finally get her way

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Anon is 99% of people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ajOjJ10+) 454 KB GIF 06/01/22(Wed)15:53:53 No.15357167 >NOOOOO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SEEING THINGS I DON'T LIKE TRIGGERS MY DYSPHORIA TOO HARD I NEED MY HECKING ECHO CHAMBER HUGBOX SAFESPACERINO
: Anonymous (ID: ajOjJ10+) 454 KB GIF 06/01/22(Wed)15:53:53 No.15357167 >NOOOOO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SEEING THINGS I DON'T LIKE TRIGGERS MY DYSPHORIA TOO HARD I NEED MY HECKING ECHO CHAMBER HUGBOX SAFESPACERINO

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Anon doesn’t like weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Was I right or wrong in this situation /b/? >Living in apartment >Next door neighbor is a pot addict, always smoking weed to a degree that I can smell it in my own residence 13 KB JPG >Weed is illegal in my state, additionally it ruined a good friendship of mine so I admit I'm a little biased against it >Called the cops on him and said I think he is dealing drugs next door (he might be actually) >Also emailed the landlord informing them of his criminal activity I think I did the right thing honestly, I don't want to smell his stupid drug and he's not legally allowed to consume it anyways. 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)12:24:09 No.879302527 9 KB JPG 06/01/22(Wed)12:11:14 No.879301967 >>879302275 # LOL. Look at this clown. I'd love to see what you look like having that mindset.
: Anonymous Was I right or wrong in this situation /b/? >Living in apartment >Next door neighbor is a pot addict, always smoking weed to a degree that I can smell it in my own residence 13 KB JPG >Weed is illegal in my state, additionally it ruined a good friendship of mine so I admit I'm a little biased against it >Called the cops on him and said I think he is dealing drugs next door (he might be actually) >Also emailed the landlord informing them of his criminal activity I think I did the right thing honestly, I don't want to smell his stupid drug and he's not legally allowed to consume it anyways. 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)12:24:09 No.879302527 9 KB JPG 06/01/22(Wed)12:11:14 No.879301967 >>879302275 # LOL. Look at this clown. I'd love to see what you look like having that mindset.

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Anon has been free loading | /r/Greentext

06/01/22(Wed)13:33:46 No.879305701, Anonymous >me >remote worker >have not worked even a minute for the past 6 weeks >been making up things to keep my manager off me 93 KB JPG >out of believable things to tell her >have to show her progress and deliverables tomorrow >have nothing to show for the last six weeks and don't have any excuses I think she might finally figure out I've been watching netflix and haven't done anything. What do I do?
06/01/22(Wed)13:33:46 No.879305701, Anonymous >me >remote worker >have not worked even a minute for the past 6 weeks >been making up things to keep my manager off me 93 KB JPG >out of believable things to tell her >have to show her progress and deliverables tomorrow >have nothing to show for the last six weeks and don't have any excuses I think she might finally figure out I've been watching netflix and haven't done anything. What do I do?

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Anon is white passing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why 06/01/22(Wed)18:18:16 No.68874573 >be me >be extremely white passing mixed guy >basically cant tell im mixed >mom is black like Extremely dark skin 29 KB JPG >dad is white as they come >my dad is literally also in the f------ KKK >dont get told this >i have never meet my dad >grow up with singel mom >turn 18 decided to look dad up and call him >call dad >hello is this mr anon >yes >im your son with ms anon >brief pause >all of a sudden loud screaming >LISTEN TO ME YOU F------ PEICE OF S--- I DONT CARE HOW WHITE YOU LOOK YOU GOT THEM F------ N----- GENETICS IN YOU THE FACT YOU LOOK SO WHITE SCARES ME THE FACT YOU COULD BE HIDING AMONG WHITE PEOPLE DONT F------ CALL ME AGAIN >he hangs up >sit there for a soild 3 minutes like what the f--- just happened >told my mom >she tells me about who he really is >spend a lot of time wondering why racist people f--- black women So thats my dad
Anonymous Why 06/01/22(Wed)18:18:16 No.68874573 >be me >be extremely white passing mixed guy >basically cant tell im mixed >mom is black like Extremely dark skin 29 KB JPG >dad is white as they come >my dad is literally also in the f------ KKK >dont get told this >i have never meet my dad >grow up with singel mom >turn 18 decided to look dad up and call him >call dad >hello is this mr anon >yes >im your son with ms anon >brief pause >all of a sudden loud screaming >LISTEN TO ME YOU F------ PEICE OF S--- I DONT CARE HOW WHITE YOU LOOK YOU GOT THEM F------ N----- GENETICS IN YOU THE FACT YOU LOOK SO WHITE SCARES ME THE FACT YOU COULD BE HIDING AMONG WHITE PEOPLE DONT F------ CALL ME AGAIN >he hangs up >sit there for a soild 3 minutes like what the f--- just happened >told my mom >she tells me about who he really is >spend a lot of time wondering why racist people f--- black women So thats my dad

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Anon buys a Spider-Man. | /r/Greentext

03/06/22(Sun)15:29:37 No.873885572 : Anonymous E0D9FD24-05A3-42ED-809F-568F84B55B62.png 120 KB PNG -be me -work hard to earn $50 -spend said $50 on a lego spiderman figure -it arrives -remember you already have one -mfw : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)15:54:08 No.873886719 >>873885572 (OP) # now you have 2 spidey dudes and they can be friends with each other >>873888801 #
03/06/22(Sun)15:29:37 No.873885572 : Anonymous E0D9FD24-05A3-42ED-809F-568F84B55B62.png 120 KB PNG -be me -work hard to earn $50 -spend said $50 on a lego spiderman figure -it arrives -remember you already have one -mfw : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)15:54:08 No.873886719 >>873885572 (OP) # now you have 2 spidey dudes and they can be friends with each other >>873888801 #

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Oof ouch owie | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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