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russianon tells a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 13 KB PNG 06/02/22(Thu)14:06:20 No.165692085 a Russian, a German and a Ukrainian are measuring their cocks. Russian: mine is 15cm. German: mine is 16cm. Ukrainian: AMERICAN C--- IS 25CM!!!!!!!!
: Anonymous 13 KB PNG 06/02/22(Thu)14:06:20 No.165692085 a Russian, a German and a Ukrainian are measuring their cocks. Russian: mine is 15cm. German: mine is 16cm. Ukrainian: AMERICAN C--- IS 25CM!!!!!!!!

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Anon plays WoW | /r/Greentext


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feels bad manAnon asks for a PC | /r/Greentext


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Anon's tracking investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this :
5m (9/20 9:39) 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this :

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Anon is special | /r/Greentext

>and here is our son's room >opens door >REEEEEEEEEEEE >closes door >he doesn't get out much
>and here is our son's room >opens door >REEEEEEEEEEEE >closes door >he doesn't get out much

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To the strongest | /r/Greentext

06/01/22(Wed)18:04:01 No.68874397 >be alpha af >have everything >hot wife >money >power >land >nothing left to conquer >dominate smooth twinks to 06/01/22(Wed)19:07:53 No.68875171 >Noooooooo you don't heckin understanindo, I'm f------ twinkerinos because I'm hecking powerful and dominant, I'm not a sodomite : Anonymous 32 KB JPG reclaim your masculinity This is still happening today btw : Anonymous 122 KB PNG
06/01/22(Wed)18:04:01 No.68874397 >be alpha af >have everything >hot wife >money >power >land >nothing left to conquer >dominate smooth twinks to 06/01/22(Wed)19:07:53 No.68875171 >Noooooooo you don't heckin understanindo, I'm f------ twinkerinos because I'm hecking powerful and dominant, I'm not a sodomite : Anonymous 32 KB JPG reclaim your masculinity This is still happening today btw : Anonymous 122 KB PNG

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#BlackLivesMatterAnon gets a new gaming buddy | /r/Greentext


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Anon welcomes Aliens, with a condition. | /r/Greentext

1/4 njDctHvu (OP). 15m (6/1 21:29) - 380595023 13 Re 6 Img JPG 19KB (362 × 362) 3 Replies BROS GET IN HERE THE FAKE ALIEN INVASION STARTS ON 6/6 THEY ARE REALLY DEMONS ITS ACTUALLY F------ HAPPENING 1/2 7JginU+e 14m (6/1 21:31). 380595176 JPG 33KB (750 × 552) 2 Replies as long as the aliens aren't black they are welcome
1/4 njDctHvu (OP). 15m (6/1 21:29) - 380595023 13 Re 6 Img JPG 19KB (362 × 362) 3 Replies BROS GET IN HERE THE FAKE ALIEN INVASION STARTS ON 6/6 THEY ARE REALLY DEMONS ITS ACTUALLY F------ HAPPENING 1/2 7JginU+e 14m (6/1 21:31). 380595176 JPG 33KB (750 × 552) 2 Replies as long as the aliens aren't black they are welcome

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Anon is bad at jokes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)08:47:12 No.879351067 Can I salvage this? >be me >on first date with girl at KFC >single mom two kids KFC >date is going well, teasing eachother 63 KB JPG >covid/food shortages get brought up >"so did the toilet paper thing affect you?" >"um, yea haha, we ran out and had to use our bare hands and a hose outside to clean ourselves" >cringe from asking her an embarrassing question >autism.exe >"finger licking good" >she stays pretty quite the rest of the date >we barely hug goodbye when we leave I guess I was trying to make a joke? I wasn't even thinking though. The date was yesterday, what should I message her today to smooth things over?
: Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)08:47:12 No.879351067 Can I salvage this? >be me >on first date with girl at KFC >single mom two kids KFC >date is going well, teasing eachother 63 KB JPG >covid/food shortages get brought up >"so did the toilet paper thing affect you?" >"um, yea haha, we ran out and had to use our bare hands and a hose outside to clean ourselves" >cringe from asking her an embarrassing question >autism.exe >"finger licking good" >she stays pretty quite the rest of the date >we barely hug goodbye when we leave I guess I was trying to make a joke? I wasn't even thinking though. The date was yesterday, what should I message her today to smooth things over?

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Anon listened to music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:19:45 No.852672830 >be me >Be audiophile >Spend 5 hours trying to find new song in lossless format >Can't buy since out 100 000 on equipment 9 KB JPG >finally find song >It is .exe file but whatever >Spend next 5 hours tuning my setup for R&B >Finally listen to song >Hear that the power company turbine is slightly off it's magnetic field >Makes slight hiss in my headphones >Instantly s--- and throw up over myself >Be safe out there fellow audiophiles
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:19:45 No.852672830 >be me >Be audiophile >Spend 5 hours trying to find new song in lossless format >Can't buy since out 100 000 on equipment 9 KB JPG >finally find song >It is .exe file but whatever >Spend next 5 hours tuning my setup for R&B >Finally listen to song >Hear that the power company turbine is slightly off it's magnetic field >Makes slight hiss in my headphones >Instantly s--- and throw up over myself >Be safe out there fellow audiophiles

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So accurate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/18(Sun)20:21:51 No.49762909 what is this place >be me >be reddit f-- >see funny greentexts >looks fun 7 KB JPG >checks out 4chan. >see loli hentai, people posting pictures of relatives they want to f--- etc. >aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is wrong with you people 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 12/09/18(Sun)20:21:51 No.49762909 what is this place >be me >be reddit f-- >see funny greentexts >looks fun 7 KB JPG >checks out 4chan. >see loli hentai, people posting pictures of relatives they want to f--- etc. >aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is wrong with you people 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Breaking Cope | /r/Greentext

1h (6/1 11:09) 68870306 4 Re. 1 Img. JPG 213KB (900 × 900) 2 Replies Jesse I have indeed broken bad because my wife is a cheating w----, my son is a crippling retard and my brother in law is a bully chad. >therefore I will now cook drugs to have normies overdose and die as I laugh and stack cash, also I'll kill your emo gf and latina singlemom because f--- those hoes >problems, n----?
1h (6/1 11:09) 68870306 4 Re. 1 Img. JPG 213KB (900 × 900) 2 Replies Jesse I have indeed broken bad because my wife is a cheating w----, my son is a crippling retard and my brother in law is a bully chad. >therefore I will now cook drugs to have normies overdose and die as I laugh and stack cash, also I'll kill your emo gf and latina singlemom because f--- those hoes >problems, n----?

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Anon got his first PC for xmas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)15:00:35 No.5885078 3D Pinbell >be 10 Space Code >want a PC >parents say if Im able to pay 1/4 of it I can get one for christmas BALL 1 >birthday in september 7102750 >ask for money from grandparents and aunt >also save up my allowance for months (pocket money if ya bri'ish) >get a PC for christmas >stay up until 1 am at christmas night playing space cadet pinball things were simpler back then
Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)15:00:35 No.5885078 3D Pinbell >be 10 Space Code >want a PC >parents say if Im able to pay 1/4 of it I can get one for christmas BALL 1 >birthday in september 7102750 >ask for money from grandparents and aunt >also save up my allowance for months (pocket money if ya bri'ish) >get a PC for christmas >stay up until 1 am at christmas night playing space cadet pinball things were simpler back then

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Anon is in a midlife crisis | /r/Greentext


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Anon moves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 131 KB JPG 07/05/18(Thu)16:31:04 No.773480835 >live in virginia >move to north carolina >see ya later virginians
: Anonymous 131 KB JPG 07/05/18(Thu)16:31:04 No.773480835 >live in virginia >move to north carolina >see ya later virginians

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Anon protects his virginity........... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous CO 09/02/21(Thu)13:06:04 No.63322782 >getting mcdonalds late at night >going up the elevator with a girl who just came home from a party alone >she says "those fries smell good" >I say "yup" 90 KB PNG >she says "i'm hungry for some fries" >I say "fries are pretty good" >on her floor she stands in the elevator door and leans up against the frame in an attempt to be seductive and says "i sure would like some fries" and bites her lip >I say "they're open 24 hours" >she leaves I managed to protect my fries and my virginity.
Anonymous CO 09/02/21(Thu)13:06:04 No.63322782 >getting mcdonalds late at night >going up the elevator with a girl who just came home from a party alone >she says "those fries smell good" >I say "yup" 90 KB PNG >she says "i'm hungry for some fries" >I say "fries are pretty good" >on her floor she stands in the elevator door and leans up against the frame in an attempt to be seductive and says "i sure would like some fries" and bites her lip >I say "they're open 24 hours" >she leaves I managed to protect my fries and my virginity.

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Anon calculates work hours required to pay off debt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MA LM RIS PARI 06/02/22(Thu)15:28:06 No.168979473 Amber heard owes 15 million to Jonny. She does not have 15 million dollars. Lets figure out how she can pay off her debt. LM If she were to charge $60 for a b------ that would mean 308 KB JPG 15000000 / 60 = 250000 she only has to suck off 250,000 men. The average flaccid-to-orgasm (F20) b------ lasts somewhere between 5 to 7 minutes, so lets say 6 minutes. Considering this, assuming perfect efficiency - that means she'll spend 1500000 minutes slobering on c---. 250000*6 = 1500000 minutes 1500000 / 60 = 25000 hours 25000/24 = 1041.666(repeating) days (sleep not factored in) to get a more realistic approximation, let's assume she's sleeping for 8 hours. 24-8 = 16 25000/16 = 1562.5 days 1562.4 / 365.24 = 4.27 years A little over four and a quarter years of non stop d--- sucking from waking up to going to sleep, and she'll have easily paid off her DEBT to the DEPP! Now of course, our calculations are a little rough, we aren't taking into account weekends or meals (although she'd probably be able to survive on the high protein, high calorie c-- diet) I hope this was educational.
: Anonymous MA LM RIS PARI 06/02/22(Thu)15:28:06 No.168979473 Amber heard owes 15 million to Jonny. She does not have 15 million dollars. Lets figure out how she can pay off her debt. LM If she were to charge $60 for a b------ that would mean 308 KB JPG 15000000 / 60 = 250000 she only has to suck off 250,000 men. The average flaccid-to-orgasm (F20) b------ lasts somewhere between 5 to 7 minutes, so lets say 6 minutes. Considering this, assuming perfect efficiency - that means she'll spend 1500000 minutes slobering on c---. 250000*6 = 1500000 minutes 1500000 / 60 = 25000 hours 25000/24 = 1041.666(repeating) days (sleep not factored in) to get a more realistic approximation, let's assume she's sleeping for 8 hours. 24-8 = 16 25000/16 = 1562.5 days 1562.4 / 365.24 = 4.27 years A little over four and a quarter years of non stop d--- sucking from waking up to going to sleep, and she'll have easily paid off her DEBT to the DEPP! Now of course, our calculations are a little rough, we aren't taking into account weekends or meals (although she'd probably be able to survive on the high protein, high calorie c-- diet) I hope this was educational.

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/19(Thu)10:56:29 No.800433348 >Talking to the girl I love about her boyfriend >She's so happy around him >She gets excited just talking about him 22 KB JPG I'm glad she's happy. It makes me happy.
: Anonymous 05/23/19(Thu)10:56:29 No.800433348 >Talking to the girl I love about her boyfriend >She's so happy around him >She gets excited just talking about him 22 KB JPG I'm glad she's happy. It makes me happy.

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Anon realizes his purpose | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/12/18(Fri)04:19:14 No.48641922 I don't have anywhere else to go so I'll tell you guys what happened. >Be me, 19 y/o loser >Virgin, never had a gf >Not very good socially 26 KB JPG >Not completely autistic though >Can be a good friend if people gave me opportunity >Appear as loner cause of situation >In class one day, most popular, hottest girls come up >Start talking to me casually, ask my name, my interests >Immediately suspiscious, but okay >They end up being really cool, conversation drifts but they kinda half keep me engaged >At the end, they invite me out with them >Automatic yes, best thing that could've happened >Over the course of about 6 months I go out with them a lot >They text me all the time to go places or do things with them >It's always stuff they like, malls, lunches, festivals, etc, but I'm cool with it >Get introduced to some really cool guys >50% popular guys 50% straight up Chads >Get along with them >Get invited to parties by the girls >My life has completely changed, and I assume it's because of the kindness of these girls Board /r9k/-ROBOT9001 ▼ Settings Home >My life has completely changed, and I assume it's because of the kindness of these girls >One day at the mall with them >They're shopping and stuff >I'm there helping carry their bags and whatever >They say they want me to wait outside the store for a sec while they run inside quick >Get a text from one of the Chads they introduced me to >"Hey, is this anon?" >"Yeah, who's this?" >"It's Chad. Hey, man, I don't want to bum you out or anything, but I think you should know. Those bitches are using you. They're actually laughing at you behind your back. You don't seem like a bad guy, but they're taking advantage of you on purpose." >w--.jpg >He then sends me a screenshot of a snapchat from one of the girls >It's a picture of me outside the store holding, like, 10 bags waiting for them. >Caption says: "Haha, who knew losers make the best servants <3" >No f------ way >"Sorry, man. I just felt like you should know." >I dropped their s--- and left as fast as possible >They haven't texted me yet, and I assume they won't 29 Replies /4 Images View Thread
Anonymous 10/12/18(Fri)04:19:14 No.48641922 I don't have anywhere else to go so I'll tell you guys what happened. >Be me, 19 y/o loser >Virgin, never had a gf >Not very good socially 26 KB JPG >Not completely autistic though >Can be a good friend if people gave me opportunity >Appear as loner cause of situation >In class one day, most popular, hottest girls come up >Start talking to me casually, ask my name, my interests >Immediately suspiscious, but okay >They end up being really cool, conversation drifts but they kinda half keep me engaged >At the end, they invite me out with them >Automatic yes, best thing that could've happened >Over the course of about 6 months I go out with them a lot >They text me all the time to go places or do things with them >It's always stuff they like, malls, lunches, festivals, etc, but I'm cool with it >Get introduced to some really cool guys >50% popular guys 50% straight up Chads >Get along with them >Get invited to parties by the girls >My life has completely changed, and I assume it's because of the kindness of these girls Board /r9k/-ROBOT9001 ▼ Settings Home >My life has completely changed, and I assume it's because of the kindness of these girls >One day at the mall with them >They're shopping and stuff >I'm there helping carry their bags and whatever >They say they want me to wait outside the store for a sec while they run inside quick >Get a text from one of the Chads they introduced me to >"Hey, is this anon?" >"Yeah, who's this?" >"It's Chad. Hey, man, I don't want to bum you out or anything, but I think you should know. Those bitches are using you. They're actually laughing at you behind your back. You don't seem like a bad guy, but they're taking advantage of you on purpose." >w--.jpg >He then sends me a screenshot of a snapchat from one of the girls >It's a picture of me outside the store holding, like, 10 bags waiting for them. >Caption says: "Haha, who knew losers make the best servants <3" >No f------ way >"Sorry, man. I just felt like you should know." >I dropped their s--- and left as fast as possible >They haven't texted me yet, and I assume they won't 29 Replies /4 Images View Thread

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Anon is hopeless | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Virgin 5 KB PNG 93 Replies / 6 Images : Anonymous >>879306199 # Anonymous Anonymous Kill yourself 06/01/22 (Wed)06:37:07 No.879293123 This f------ thread again! Ask a 35 year old virgin anything. View Thread 06/01/22(Wed)11:39:04 No.879305932 06/01/22(Wed)11:44:35 No.879306199 06/01/22(Wed)11:53:15 No.879306594
Anonymous Virgin 5 KB PNG 93 Replies / 6 Images : Anonymous >>879306199 # Anonymous Anonymous Kill yourself 06/01/22 (Wed)06:37:07 No.879293123 This f------ thread again! Ask a 35 year old virgin anything. View Thread 06/01/22(Wed)11:39:04 No.879305932 06/01/22(Wed)11:44:35 No.879306199 06/01/22(Wed)11:53:15 No.879306594

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