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I think my man took it a bit too far | /r/Greentext

Your most retarded moment so f(...) 06/04/20(Thu)07:44:33 No.58486215 This morning I was f------ the mouth side of my pocket p---- while watching a Bibi Jones b------ scene. I manage to nut at about the same time as the dude while I was keeping pace with Bibi's sucking motions. 1.45 MB JPG After I pulled out and still watching the scene, Bibi kisses the guy, and my not-fully-awake brain instinctively kisses the pocket p----, which I also try to tongue. So I basically licked my own c-- out of a piece of silicone I had just f----- because my loneliness had me so engaged in a p--- scene I was disconnected from reality. Can anyone beat this Stupid Moment of the Day today?
Your most retarded moment so f(...) 06/04/20(Thu)07:44:33 No.58486215 This morning I was f------ the mouth side of my pocket p---- while watching a Bibi Jones b------ scene. I manage to nut at about the same time as the dude while I was keeping pace with Bibi's sucking motions. 1.45 MB JPG After I pulled out and still watching the scene, Bibi kisses the guy, and my not-fully-awake brain instinctively kisses the pocket p----, which I also try to tongue. So I basically licked my own c-- out of a piece of silicone I had just f----- because my loneliness had me so engaged in a p--- scene I was disconnected from reality. Can anyone beat this Stupid Moment of the Day today?

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Anon turns it off and back on | /r/Greentext


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Italian Stallion | /r/Greentext


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anon goes to the bathroom | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an entrepreneur | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 06/03/22(Fri)01:22:30 No.879376456 >sell car >$5,000 cash >guy drives off with car >call police >report car stolen >get car back >free $5,000
: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 06/03/22(Fri)01:22:30 No.879376456 >sell car >$5,000 cash >guy drives off with car >call police >report car stolen >get car back >free $5,000

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Anon meets a redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)23:43:54 No.879394626 >be me on public bus >sitting next to this fat neck beard f--- head >he literally looks like every stereotypical redditor, he was even wearing a f------ fedora 50 KB PNG >suddenly a small girl walks onto the bus with what im assuming is her mom. >looks no older than 12 >only seat available was next to reddit f-- >she sits down while her mom stands near by >already thinking to myself "this wont end well" >this guy is visibly sweating and beet red making short glances at this girl >I hear him mutter something from under his breath and he begun to lunge at the girl >oh no >he tried to reach out to her and kiss her in what im assuming was an attempt to recreate some hentai he probably watched last night >everyone is screaming at him and the girl and mom are crying >the bus driver slams his breaks and tells the guy to get the f--- of his bus >guy waddles his fat ass off the bus >little girl is visibly shaking and crying while her mom tries to comfort her and call the cops If you are a chronic hentai/p--- viewer, please dont do this s--- out in public or else you will be put on death row.
: Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)23:43:54 No.879394626 >be me on public bus >sitting next to this fat neck beard f--- head >he literally looks like every stereotypical redditor, he was even wearing a f------ fedora 50 KB PNG >suddenly a small girl walks onto the bus with what im assuming is her mom. >looks no older than 12 >only seat available was next to reddit f-- >she sits down while her mom stands near by >already thinking to myself "this wont end well" >this guy is visibly sweating and beet red making short glances at this girl >I hear him mutter something from under his breath and he begun to lunge at the girl >oh no >he tried to reach out to her and kiss her in what im assuming was an attempt to recreate some hentai he probably watched last night >everyone is screaming at him and the girl and mom are crying >the bus driver slams his breaks and tells the guy to get the f--- of his bus >guy waddles his fat ass off the bus >little girl is visibly shaking and crying while her mom tries to comfort her and call the cops If you are a chronic hentai/p--- viewer, please dont do this s--- out in public or else you will be put on death row.

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Anon wants a GF. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)23:01:03 No.68891353 I will spend an entire year lo(...) It's settled, I'm 21 and refuse to be without the company of a loving woman any longer. The journey starts here and I will give it my all, there is a Chad in me and the only thing stopping me is my lack of dedication. I will: >Go to church and cons to scout for awkward girls and strike a conversation with them >Shower at least two times a week >Download Bumble, Tinder and Hinge and make profiles for them 18 KB GIF >Spot women alone in the street and approach them with a fake purse to ask if it's theirs to start a conversation without looking creepy >Get to know my friend's sisters and their friends to grow the pool of options >Hit the gym to see if there's any cute girls and figure out ways to approach them without seeimg stupid or imposing >Make a spreadsheet for my possible candidates and see how well they conform to my ideal gf standards on a graded scale It's on f---, the bloodline will not end with me and I will have good looking kids with my ideal girl.
Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)23:01:03 No.68891353 I will spend an entire year lo(...) It's settled, I'm 21 and refuse to be without the company of a loving woman any longer. The journey starts here and I will give it my all, there is a Chad in me and the only thing stopping me is my lack of dedication. I will: >Go to church and cons to scout for awkward girls and strike a conversation with them >Shower at least two times a week >Download Bumble, Tinder and Hinge and make profiles for them 18 KB GIF >Spot women alone in the street and approach them with a fake purse to ask if it's theirs to start a conversation without looking creepy >Get to know my friend's sisters and their friends to grow the pool of options >Hit the gym to see if there's any cute girls and figure out ways to approach them without seeimg stupid or imposing >Make a spreadsheet for my possible candidates and see how well they conform to my ideal gf standards on a graded scale It's on f---, the bloodline will not end with me and I will have good looking kids with my ideal girl.

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Anon is wage-cuck | /r/Greentext

Orgel& Hanter Wageerk Anonymous 01/14/22(Fri)22:09:51 No.158152556 >>158152778 >>158153215 >>158153368 >>158153473 >>158153842 >>158153928 >>158154064 >be McCuck wagie >work 8 hr shift to pay tuition >have no car >walk 5 miles home in blistering cold >feet practically bleeding >open up Instagram >see w---- making 6 figures showing her ass Man f--- this s---. It's either I kill my self or become the next Lenin Anonymous 01/14/22(Fri)22:12:55 No.158152622 >>158154085 >>158154205 use a bike??
Orgel& Hanter Wageerk Anonymous 01/14/22(Fri)22:09:51 No.158152556 >>158152778 >>158153215 >>158153368 >>158153473 >>158153842 >>158153928 >>158154064 >be McCuck wagie >work 8 hr shift to pay tuition >have no car >walk 5 miles home in blistering cold >feet practically bleeding >open up Instagram >see w---- making 6 figures showing her ass Man f--- this s---. It's either I kill my self or become the next Lenin Anonymous 01/14/22(Fri)22:12:55 No.158152622 >>158154085 >>158154205 use a bike??

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anon like to pick up kids | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon)19:26:03 No.878695145 I use to cruise around and pick up street kids, offer them a place to stay and some food in return for sex, you'd be surprised how easy it is. I tried and pick ones that were legal, but it's not like I asked for ID and if they lie they lie. Anyway, I got to do all kinds of f----- up s--- to some of them. This one girl, 13, slightly autistic, got her to do the whole pet play thing. Collar, cat ears, tail plug, the works. She loved it, the dirty little pervert. She was a squirter too. She stayed with me for a while, fun times. >>878695164 # >>878698556 # : Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon)19:26:51 No.878695164 >>878695145 # Exploiting people is gay >>878695708 #
: Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon)19:26:03 No.878695145 I use to cruise around and pick up street kids, offer them a place to stay and some food in return for sex, you'd be surprised how easy it is. I tried and pick ones that were legal, but it's not like I asked for ID and if they lie they lie. Anyway, I got to do all kinds of f----- up s--- to some of them. This one girl, 13, slightly autistic, got her to do the whole pet play thing. Collar, cat ears, tail plug, the works. She loved it, the dirty little pervert. She was a squirter too. She stayed with me for a while, fun times. >>878695164 # >>878698556 # : Anonymous 05/23/22(Mon)19:26:51 No.878695164 >>878695145 # Exploiting people is gay >>878695708 #

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Anon breaks down the 2A | /r/Greentext

1:22 Anonymous (ID: y0Felkci SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED The 2Amendment A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed. 2ndAmendment.jpg 718 KB JPG >we just had yet another school sho- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >the US has a higher rate of gun vi- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >we need to put tighter restriction on g- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >should we really allow people to buy assau- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >Europe has gun bans and they ha- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >we're going to take your g- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED : Anonymous (ID: 8HY3fMOH) ME 05/24/22(Tue)23:39:30 No.379333842 >>379333674 (OP) # It's literally the second amendment The only thing more important than the right to bear arms is the right to talk s--- about the government >>379335927 # >>379339505 # >>379341133 # >>379342152 # >>379344047 # Anonymous (ID: Wg35RKpY) 05/24/22(Tue)23:40:42 No.379334002 05/24/22(Tue)23:38:10 No.379333674
1:22 Anonymous (ID: y0Felkci SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED The 2Amendment A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed. 2ndAmendment.jpg 718 KB JPG >we just had yet another school sho- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >the US has a higher rate of gun vi- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >we need to put tighter restriction on g- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >should we really allow people to buy assau- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >Europe has gun bans and they ha- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED >we're going to take your g- SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED : Anonymous (ID: 8HY3fMOH) ME 05/24/22(Tue)23:39:30 No.379333842 >>379333674 (OP) # It's literally the second amendment The only thing more important than the right to bear arms is the right to talk s--- about the government >>379335927 # >>379339505 # >>379341133 # >>379342152 # >>379344047 # Anonymous (ID: Wg35RKpY) 05/24/22(Tue)23:40:42 No.379334002 05/24/22(Tue)23:38:10 No.379333674

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Anon spends too much time on 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34524884 55 min. ago >be me >be in communications class >persuasive speech >autism = activate >start speech with "be me" >awkward silence from class should i just drop out? ye
Anonymous 34524884 55 min. ago >be me >be in communications class >persuasive speech >autism = activate >start speech with "be me" >awkward silence from class should i just drop out? ye

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Anon becomes an incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)22:46:08 No.842434393 >download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me 267 KB PNG > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am >this back fired tremendously
: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)22:46:08 No.842434393 >download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me 267 KB PNG > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am >this back fired tremendously

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Anon drops the mic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/20(Mon)15:59:11 No.508602648 If trans women demand representation, it means women don't represent them. They don't even see themselves as women 38 KB JPG >>508603564 # >>508603848 # >>508603980 # >>508604082 # >>508604123 # >>508604141 # >>508604148 # >>508604187 # >>508604240 # >>508604265 # >>508604443 # >>508604450 # >>508604532 # >>508604637 # >>508604702 # >>508604805 # >>508604814 # >>508604820 # >>508604843 # >>508604875 # >>508604935 # >>508604981 # >>508604994 # >>508605167 # >>508605317 # >>508605414 # >>508605416 # >>508605429 # >>508605542 # >>508605645 # >>508605653 # >>508605683 # >>508605704 # >>508605767 # >>508605906 # >>508605923 # >>508605949 # >>508606020 # >>508606116 # >>508606203 # >>508606223 # >>508606232 # >>508606353 # >>508606475 # >>508606545 # >>508606558 # >>508606614 # >>508606650 # >>508606668 # >>508606771 # >>508606796 # >>508606891 # >>508606928 #
: Anonymous 05/18/20(Mon)15:59:11 No.508602648 If trans women demand representation, it means women don't represent them. They don't even see themselves as women 38 KB JPG >>508603564 # >>508603848 # >>508603980 # >>508604082 # >>508604123 # >>508604141 # >>508604148 # >>508604187 # >>508604240 # >>508604265 # >>508604443 # >>508604450 # >>508604532 # >>508604637 # >>508604702 # >>508604805 # >>508604814 # >>508604820 # >>508604843 # >>508604875 # >>508604935 # >>508604981 # >>508604994 # >>508605167 # >>508605317 # >>508605414 # >>508605416 # >>508605429 # >>508605542 # >>508605645 # >>508605653 # >>508605683 # >>508605704 # >>508605767 # >>508605906 # >>508605923 # >>508605949 # >>508606020 # >>508606116 # >>508606203 # >>508606223 # >>508606232 # >>508606353 # >>508606475 # >>508606545 # >>508606558 # >>508606614 # >>508606650 # >>508606668 # >>508606771 # >>508606796 # >>508606891 # >>508606928 #

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Anon plays Terraria | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)18:05:10 No.68883795 >develop emotional attachment to the zoologist in my terraria world >unironically sad when i have to make her and the golfer a house together to make them both happy anyone else? 48 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)18:09:18 No.68883832 >>68883795 (OP) # no. let me guess, you give all the npc's custom and unique decorated houses don't you? >>68883855 # : Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)18:12:11 No.68883855 >68883832 # yeah, i did... it's my first playthrough okay >>68883917 #
: Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)18:05:10 No.68883795 >develop emotional attachment to the zoologist in my terraria world >unironically sad when i have to make her and the golfer a house together to make them both happy anyone else? 48 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)18:09:18 No.68883832 >>68883795 (OP) # no. let me guess, you give all the npc's custom and unique decorated houses don't you? >>68883855 # : Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)18:12:11 No.68883855 >68883832 # yeah, i did... it's my first playthrough okay >>68883917 #

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Anon is colorblind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 5 Replies 12/31/18(Mon) 22:35:48 No.50170649 Be Me Colorblind Want to make a Greentext >So how did I do? View Thread
: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 5 Replies 12/31/18(Mon) 22:35:48 No.50170649 Be Me Colorblind Want to make a Greentext >So how did I do? View Thread

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Anon feels bold. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)20:49:23 No.68890013 >feeling a wee bit bold with the end of the semester >see one of the "hot" girls post about their graduation party happening in a few days >dm her and ask if i can go, we've had a few interactions in the past so fairly normal thing to do 1.29 MB PNG >she says no oh yeah, we're back in business boys
Anonymous 06/02/22(Thu)20:49:23 No.68890013 >feeling a wee bit bold with the end of the semester >see one of the "hot" girls post about their graduation party happening in a few days >dm her and ask if i can go, we've had a few interactions in the past so fairly normal thing to do 1.29 MB PNG >she says no oh yeah, we're back in business boys

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Anon loses all hope in humanity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/03/18 (Wed)00:13:01 No.781354558 Hey f--- heres a greentext threat about Irony >be me >have female friend who likes shitpost as much as I do 15 KB JPG >notificationtojoinashitpostgroupfromher.exe >Flat Earth etc... >seems like a decent shitpost group >everyone has a top tier shitposting/Irony humor >"NASA uses Eyefish lence" >Laugh at funny ironical memes and s--- they write >my friend likes NASA and space bs >see a post where she is arguing w/ some random guy >Find out the FB group is not a shitpost group >Mfw I've been in this group for at least 2 months >Mfw I thought their posts were memes >Mfw these people actually think Earth is flat >Mfw top excuse is "NASA uses eyefish lence"
: Anonymous 10/03/18 (Wed)00:13:01 No.781354558 Hey f--- heres a greentext threat about Irony >be me >have female friend who likes shitpost as much as I do 15 KB JPG >notificationtojoinashitpostgroupfromher.exe >Flat Earth etc... >seems like a decent shitpost group >everyone has a top tier shitposting/Irony humor >"NASA uses Eyefish lence" >Laugh at funny ironical memes and s--- they write >my friend likes NASA and space bs >see a post where she is arguing w/ some random guy >Find out the FB group is not a shitpost group >Mfw I've been in this group for at least 2 months >Mfw I thought their posts were memes >Mfw these people actually think Earth is flat >Mfw top excuse is "NASA uses eyefish lence"

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What's his secret? | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes hiking | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)01:52:50 No.62492809 >wake up >feelin kinda depressed >google highest point in my county >mt. whatever >drive 45mins to some trailhead >hike 3 hours to summit 6 KB JPG >it's pretty cool. pretty windy tho >get back to my car as it's getting dark >chug hot Monster Zero Ultra that's been sitting in my center console all day >m,mmm sippy sipp >drive home feeling somewhat less depressed 7/10 it was ok 3 Replies View Thread
Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)01:52:50 No.62492809 >wake up >feelin kinda depressed >google highest point in my county >mt. whatever >drive 45mins to some trailhead >hike 3 hours to summit 6 KB JPG >it's pretty cool. pretty windy tho >get back to my car as it's getting dark >chug hot Monster Zero Ultra that's been sitting in my center console all day >m,mmm sippy sipp >drive home feeling somewhat less depressed 7/10 it was ok 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon gets revenge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 754091586 721,1 kB JPG 35 min. geleden ... >be me >Indian >find out about 4chan >go on a board >people are f------ racists >"but yeah India will be a superpower by 2020" >people laugh at me >call me a streetshitter >how offensive, my grandpa died in a streetshitting incident >years later >I ruined their internet >I did it >sweet revenge REPLY 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES
Anonymous | 754091586 721,1 kB JPG 35 min. geleden ... >be me >Indian >find out about 4chan >go on a board >people are f------ racists >"but yeah India will be a superpower by 2020" >people laugh at me >call me a streetshitter >how offensive, my grandpa died in a streetshitting incident >years later >I ruined their internet >I did it >sweet revenge REPLY 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES

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