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Anon is an expert in tomfoolery | /r/Greentext

02/01/22(Tue)18:49:22 No.67247464 >get a call from random number >"Greetings, am I speaking to mister anon?" >"Yes" >"We would like to inform you about a new offer for your mobile plan" etc etc 16 KB JPG >wait until they finish >"I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear you" >they are forced to repeat it >do this for about 4 times >finally say "Sorry, I am not interested." >hang up Anonymous
02/01/22(Tue)18:49:22 No.67247464 >get a call from random number >"Greetings, am I speaking to mister anon?" >"Yes" >"We would like to inform you about a new offer for your mobile plan" etc etc 16 KB JPG >wait until they finish >"I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear you" >they are forced to repeat it >do this for about 4 times >finally say "Sorry, I am not interested." >hang up Anonymous

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Anon is a bladesmith | /r/Greentext

06/10/22(Fri)08:51:53 No.169390013 >be me >master bladesmith >make it on forged in fire >make it to final round >go home to make sword for finals >actually make sword so camera crew doesn't get suspicious : Anonymous BEST BLADE WINS FORGED INFIRE H HISTORY 69 KB JPG >go back to show >turn in aluminum baseball bat to troll >technically meets the parameters >theyactuallytestit.gif >other tards sword breaks >mine doesn't What do with my 10,000 anons?
06/10/22(Fri)08:51:53 No.169390013 >be me >master bladesmith >make it on forged in fire >make it to final round >go home to make sword for finals >actually make sword so camera crew doesn't get suspicious : Anonymous BEST BLADE WINS FORGED INFIRE H HISTORY 69 KB JPG >go back to show >turn in aluminum baseball bat to troll >technically meets the parameters >theyactuallytestit.gif >other tards sword breaks >mine doesn't What do with my 10,000 anons?

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Anon knows love | /r/Greentext

04/21/22(Thu)16:23:01 No.68311233 love isn't about sex. sex and love often conflict each other. maybe the goal is to find someone you both love as a person, for who they are, and enjoy having sex with 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)16:26:33 No.68311260 Anon hitting us with those spicy 89 IQ revelations >>68311266 # Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)16:27:23 No.68311266 >>68311260 # im drunk bitch ayoooo : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)16:27:59 No.68311270 >>68311233 (OP) # thats so deep man where'd you read that, fortune cookie or popsicle stick? Anonymous TAT 6 KB JPG
04/21/22(Thu)16:23:01 No.68311233 love isn't about sex. sex and love often conflict each other. maybe the goal is to find someone you both love as a person, for who they are, and enjoy having sex with 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)16:26:33 No.68311260 Anon hitting us with those spicy 89 IQ revelations >>68311266 # Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)16:27:23 No.68311266 >>68311260 # im drunk bitch ayoooo : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)16:27:59 No.68311270 >>68311233 (OP) # thats so deep man where'd you read that, fortune cookie or popsicle stick? Anonymous TAT 6 KB JPG

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Anon is a good gifter | /r/Greentext

04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >I got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >"just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies: >>187606189>>187606194 >>187606297 >>187606380 >>187606458 >>187606547 >>187606763 >>187607212 >>187609156 >>187609419 >>187609460
04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >I got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >"just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies: >>187606189>>187606194 >>187606297 >>187606380 >>187606458 >>187606547 >>187606763 >>187607212 >>187609156 >>187609419 >>187609460

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Anon‘s brother :( | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Be me, 8 years old >Mother dies of lung cancer f------ cigarettes >Dad becomes super depressed. Alcohol and such. >Older brother is 17 738 B PNG >He drops out of school to take 4 jobs >Almost never home >Every morning he gets up at 5AM to make me sandwich and capri-sun for lunch. >Packs in my Spider man lunch box. >Also pre makes me a dinner. Sometimes lasagna, sometimes tendies. >Older brother comes home at 1-2AM each night. >Brother gets me nice things for birthday and christmas. Gameboy, clothes, etc. >He makes sure my life is good. >Be me, 14 >This has been going on for 6 years. Brother still lives at home. Dad still does nothing but lay in bed and drink. >Staying up late playing pokemon on my gameboy advance. Pokemon Leaf Green (My favorite one) >One week before my birthday. >Pokemon Diamond and Pearl had just come out for the Nintendo DS. >I really wanted it for my birthday >I had been bugging my brother about it for months, asking to go to the game store to try out the demo units and such. >We went as much as we could to play and to check out what new games were released. 07/09/18(Mon)23:24:39 No.773886578 : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)23:24:45 No.773886589 >About 1:30AM >Someone knocks on the door >It's the police. >"Is this the Anon residence?" >"Yes" >"Your brother was in a very serious car accident, we aren't sure if he's going to be okay" >I go and talk to my dad. He tells me to f--- off. >I get in the car with the police man. We ride down to the busy area of my town. >My brothers car is upside down in the middle of the road. >Another truck is off to the side. It was red. >There's fire trucks and ambulances, and like 4 police cars. >My brother is laying on a stretcher near one of the ambulances. People all around him >They bring me over to him. His head is covered in blood and so are the blankets. >"Anon hey! Where's dad?" >"I don't know." >"Well, when you get home I want you to tell him that he's a s----- parent and that he deserves to die." >"o-okay" >"I love you Anon, don't you ever forget that" >Brother dies from bleeding out. >In the car was a bag from walmart. >In the bag there was a brand new Nintendo DS and a copy of pokemon Diamond. >S----- dad doesn't even come to the funeral. >Play pokemon Diamond all the way through, catching every single pokemon. I miss you David. It's been more than 12 years, but I still have that DS and that game that you got for me.
: Anonymous >Be me, 8 years old >Mother dies of lung cancer f------ cigarettes >Dad becomes super depressed. Alcohol and such. >Older brother is 17 738 B PNG >He drops out of school to take 4 jobs >Almost never home >Every morning he gets up at 5AM to make me sandwich and capri-sun for lunch. >Packs in my Spider man lunch box. >Also pre makes me a dinner. Sometimes lasagna, sometimes tendies. >Older brother comes home at 1-2AM each night. >Brother gets me nice things for birthday and christmas. Gameboy, clothes, etc. >He makes sure my life is good. >Be me, 14 >This has been going on for 6 years. Brother still lives at home. Dad still does nothing but lay in bed and drink. >Staying up late playing pokemon on my gameboy advance. Pokemon Leaf Green (My favorite one) >One week before my birthday. >Pokemon Diamond and Pearl had just come out for the Nintendo DS. >I really wanted it for my birthday >I had been bugging my brother about it for months, asking to go to the game store to try out the demo units and such. >We went as much as we could to play and to check out what new games were released. 07/09/18(Mon)23:24:39 No.773886578 : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)23:24:45 No.773886589 >About 1:30AM >Someone knocks on the door >It's the police. >"Is this the Anon residence?" >"Yes" >"Your brother was in a very serious car accident, we aren't sure if he's going to be okay" >I go and talk to my dad. He tells me to f--- off. >I get in the car with the police man. We ride down to the busy area of my town. >My brothers car is upside down in the middle of the road. >Another truck is off to the side. It was red. >There's fire trucks and ambulances, and like 4 police cars. >My brother is laying on a stretcher near one of the ambulances. People all around him >They bring me over to him. His head is covered in blood and so are the blankets. >"Anon hey! Where's dad?" >"I don't know." >"Well, when you get home I want you to tell him that he's a s----- parent and that he deserves to die." >"o-okay" >"I love you Anon, don't you ever forget that" >Brother dies from bleeding out. >In the car was a bag from walmart. >In the bag there was a brand new Nintendo DS and a copy of pokemon Diamond. >S----- dad doesn't even come to the funeral. >Play pokemon Diamond all the way through, catching every single pokemon. I miss you David. It's been more than 12 years, but I still have that DS and that game that you got for me.

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Anon gets new friend | /r/Greentext

07/07/19(Sun)20:35:17 No.804061 Anonymous >be me >look at contacts • O >text the most recent person >"hey wanna play minecraft?" >he replies "i'm your drug dealer >feel.jpg 441 KB PNG >"that's the closest i've had to a friend" >he says "damn bro..." >embarrassment.jpg >he says he will come over and what to bring >i tell him to bring an xbox controller >silence >more silence >worry.jpg >he replies an hour later >"i'm at your door brought some doritos and dew, what gamemode we playing?" >wipe the tears off my face >tfw first friend
07/07/19(Sun)20:35:17 No.804061 Anonymous >be me >look at contacts • O >text the most recent person >"hey wanna play minecraft?" >he replies "i'm your drug dealer >feel.jpg 441 KB PNG >"that's the closest i've had to a friend" >he says "damn bro..." >embarrassment.jpg >he says he will come over and what to bring >i tell him to bring an xbox controller >silence >more silence >worry.jpg >he replies an hour later >"i'm at your door brought some doritos and dew, what gamemode we playing?" >wipe the tears off my face >tfw first friend

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the great cockalypse is upon us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri)08:36:19 No.68986060 62 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/10/22 (Fri)08:42:31 No.68986108 >>68986060 (OP) # >look at different surveys on d--- size >realize all cocks are shrinking at an alarming rate The end is near >look up average penis size It's over...
: Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri)08:36:19 No.68986060 62 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/10/22 (Fri)08:42:31 No.68986108 >>68986060 (OP) # >look at different surveys on d--- size >realize all cocks are shrinking at an alarming rate The end is near >look up average penis size It's over...

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anon learns about women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Z9FA795m) 2DB5BC3C-2E3D-4B1A-B14B-E3C7F05318E9.jpg 10 KB JPG >snoop girl I'm dating phone >Im listed as "free food guy" >scroll more >there's also "free movies guy" and "free drinks guy" and "homework guy" >confront her about it >says it's her friends who edited her contacts for fun 02/21/22(Mon)16:58:35 No.362259363
: Anonymous (ID: Z9FA795m) 2DB5BC3C-2E3D-4B1A-B14B-E3C7F05318E9.jpg 10 KB JPG >snoop girl I'm dating phone >Im listed as "free food guy" >scroll more >there's also "free movies guy" and "free drinks guy" and "homework guy" >confront her about it >says it's her friends who edited her contacts for fun 02/21/22(Mon)16:58:35 No.362259363

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Why are women like this? | /r/Greentext

06/09/22(Thu)14:19:12 No.26651696 >have ex-bf >was really the nicest guy I've ever met, and took me this long to realise what a positive influence he left >wasn't ready for him back then, as personal life drama made maintaining relationships : Anonymous 458 KB GIF impossible >look him up for the first time in eight years >he's now with a girl, and traveling to all the places he and I talked about traveling >she's 12 years younger than him Why do men do this? : Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)23:44:37 No.26654402 >>26651696 (OP) # >break up with a guy >he moves on and finds someone else >"why do men do this?" Are you mentally challenged?
06/09/22(Thu)14:19:12 No.26651696 >have ex-bf >was really the nicest guy I've ever met, and took me this long to realise what a positive influence he left >wasn't ready for him back then, as personal life drama made maintaining relationships : Anonymous 458 KB GIF impossible >look him up for the first time in eight years >he's now with a girl, and traveling to all the places he and I talked about traveling >she's 12 years younger than him Why do men do this? : Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)23:44:37 No.26654402 >>26651696 (OP) # >break up with a guy >he moves on and finds someone else >"why do men do this?" Are you mentally challenged?

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Anon offers advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 78 KB GIF 06/09/22(Thu)23:22:05 No.68984983 If you still havent had a gf by 20 its time accept your a perma virgin and focus on getting rich
Anonymous 78 KB GIF 06/09/22(Thu)23:22:05 No.68984983 If you still havent had a gf by 20 its time accept your a perma virgin and focus on getting rich

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Anon gets a GF | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/21 (Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free? 12/15/21 (Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822
Anonymous 12/15/21 (Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free? 12/15/21 (Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822

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anon's party story | /r/Greentext

>be me >Loser female when I was younger >I was emo as hell, not alone, had a few friends >One invited me to a party 16 KB JPG >I show up and they're off doing their own thing, I talk to a guy from one of my classes who's there instead >I know we're both awkward and I'm amazed how much I'm able to get out to him, he was comfortable with me >I offer to take him on a drive >He accepts >I vent for a bit, he's very caring, we make dirty jokes, laugh a lot >I pull off to a dark area saying I need a minute >I look him in the eyes for a second and for the first time in my life I offer someone a b------ >He starts mumbling and begins crying for some reason >I tell him I can take him home if he's uncomfortable >On the way home he calms down a bit and he's struggling to speak to me >Tell him I'm sorry and he just whispers it's ok before getting out It's been years.. I hope the poor guy got over his shyness
>be me >Loser female when I was younger >I was emo as hell, not alone, had a few friends >One invited me to a party 16 KB JPG >I show up and they're off doing their own thing, I talk to a guy from one of my classes who's there instead >I know we're both awkward and I'm amazed how much I'm able to get out to him, he was comfortable with me >I offer to take him on a drive >He accepts >I vent for a bit, he's very caring, we make dirty jokes, laugh a lot >I pull off to a dark area saying I need a minute >I look him in the eyes for a second and for the first time in my life I offer someone a b------ >He starts mumbling and begins crying for some reason >I tell him I can take him home if he's uncomfortable >On the way home he calms down a bit and he's struggling to speak to me >Tell him I'm sorry and he just whispers it's ok before getting out It's been years.. I hope the poor guy got over his shyness

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21 (Tue) 23:54:35 No.858941903 STORY THREAD. >be me THUG LIFE >walk into gym wearing tiny 80's shorts and fake mustache >see literal 9.5/10 girl running on treadmill with earphones in 41 KB JPG >walk up to her, motion for her to take her earphones out >tell her she's alright looking but not really my type >walk away and leave the gym >hang out in my car in the parking lot, flying my rc helicopter all over the place >girl walks out >do 30mph fly-bys inches above her head and chase her running and screaming to her car >drink the rest of my nesquik and head home
: Anonymous 07/13/21 (Tue) 23:54:35 No.858941903 STORY THREAD. >be me THUG LIFE >walk into gym wearing tiny 80's shorts and fake mustache >see literal 9.5/10 girl running on treadmill with earphones in 41 KB JPG >walk up to her, motion for her to take her earphones out >tell her she's alright looking but not really my type >walk away and leave the gym >hang out in my car in the parking lot, flying my rc helicopter all over the place >girl walks out >do 30mph fly-bys inches above her head and chase her running and screaming to her car >drink the rest of my nesquik and head home

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anon got scammed | /r/Greentext

No matter how fast I run... I cannot run away from the pain... 71 KB JPG Was at a party yesterday >playing truth or dare >someone dares me to go home mfw
No matter how fast I run... I cannot run away from the pain... 71 KB JPG Was at a party yesterday >playing truth or dare >someone dares me to go home mfw

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Anon is the only fan | /r/Greentext


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Anon learns the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DOY 403 KB JPG Anonymous Your situation is unfortunate 02/15/20(Sat)22:08:34 No.820790868 Honest truth, /b/. Am I ugly? Like could I pull a girl who is a high 8 to 9/10 level? Also faces of /b/ thread View Thread 02/15/20(Sat)22:14:07 No.820791165 1 Reply
Anonymous DOY 403 KB JPG Anonymous Your situation is unfortunate 02/15/20(Sat)22:08:34 No.820790868 Honest truth, /b/. Am I ugly? Like could I pull a girl who is a high 8 to 9/10 level? Also faces of /b/ thread View Thread 02/15/20(Sat)22:14:07 No.820791165 1 Reply

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Anon gets banned | /r/Greentext

06/09/22(Thu)23:15:08 No.879811414 >be me >get banned from omegle >goddamit.png >download vpn >still banned 101 KB JPG >pay for vpn >still banned mfw i spent 12 dollars just to access this s--- again and it doesnt work : Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)23:16:49 No.879811499 >>879811414 (OP) # Did you show your pp to children again anon? Shame on you. >>879811969 # : Anonymous Zil
06/09/22(Thu)23:15:08 No.879811414 >be me >get banned from omegle >goddamit.png >download vpn >still banned 101 KB JPG >pay for vpn >still banned mfw i spent 12 dollars just to access this s--- again and it doesnt work : Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)23:16:49 No.879811499 >>879811414 (OP) # Did you show your pp to children again anon? Shame on you. >>879811969 # : Anonymous Zil

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Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/17(Sun)22:57:38 No.35580872 >>35580130 # Because the airforce is the closest thing we have to a mecha anime irl. Think about it. >brave hero pilots going off to war in 64 KB JPG extravagant multiblllion dollar machines >technology out the ass >massive support team dedicated solely to sucking the pilot's d--- >literally like 100 non pilots for every pilot >techno cyberpunk nonsense filled cockpit >crazy f------ "look at that guy and kill him" style war machines >can't take out the crazy f------ war machines too often because the [animation] bill is too large >when combat does come it lasts for 5 minutes and is the most spectacular thing in the world >immediately after it's right back to stupid minor social problems at the airbase The airforce is literally Gundam but somehow more gay.
: Anonymous 10/22/17(Sun)22:57:38 No.35580872 >>35580130 # Because the airforce is the closest thing we have to a mecha anime irl. Think about it. >brave hero pilots going off to war in 64 KB JPG extravagant multiblllion dollar machines >technology out the ass >massive support team dedicated solely to sucking the pilot's d--- >literally like 100 non pilots for every pilot >techno cyberpunk nonsense filled cockpit >crazy f------ "look at that guy and kill him" style war machines >can't take out the crazy f------ war machines too often because the [animation] bill is too large >when combat does come it lasts for 5 minutes and is the most spectacular thing in the world >immediately after it's right back to stupid minor social problems at the airbase The airforce is literally Gundam but somehow more gay.

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Anon has an autistic girlfriend | /r/Greentext

06/09/22(Thu)22:22:02 No.879837548 : Anonymous I think my girlfriend is autistic >Be driving >Park in restaurant parking lot >Gf in passenger seat sees a Volkswagen beetle 32 KB JPG >screams PUNCH BUGGY YELLOW NO PUNCH BACK >Punches me right in the face with the force of a thousand gorillas >Laughing her ass off while i try not to bleed all over my car
06/09/22(Thu)22:22:02 No.879837548 : Anonymous I think my girlfriend is autistic >Be driving >Park in restaurant parking lot >Gf in passenger seat sees a Volkswagen beetle 32 KB JPG >screams PUNCH BUGGY YELLOW NO PUNCH BACK >Punches me right in the face with the force of a thousand gorillas >Laughing her ass off while i try not to bleed all over my car

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Femnon goes to the bathroom. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/03/18(Tue)15:47:36 No.764796496 >be me >24yo femanon >need to take a s--- >go to the bathroom >push out a massive thick STIFF s--- 75% of the way >pull it back in >push it back out 3/4 of the way >pull it back in >repeat several times >like i'm getting f----- by a qt boy >then accidentally push too much >my qt bf falls into the toilet >shed a tear as i flush him +12 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. No.764797525 Anonymous 04/03/18(Tue)15:58:39 >>764796496 (OP) Well, thats enough Internet for today
Anonymous 04/03/18(Tue)15:47:36 No.764796496 >be me >24yo femanon >need to take a s--- >go to the bathroom >push out a massive thick STIFF s--- 75% of the way >pull it back in >push it back out 3/4 of the way >pull it back in >repeat several times >like i'm getting f----- by a qt boy >then accidentally push too much >my qt bf falls into the toilet >shed a tear as i flush him +12 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. No.764797525 Anonymous 04/03/18(Tue)15:58:39 >>764796496 (OP) Well, thats enough Internet for today

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