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Anon goes to hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)17:48:19 No.44469729 >die >go to hell >devil says I'm forced to browse 4chan for all eternity 7 KB PNG >says it's supposed to be ironic about my life or something >okay sure lol >6 billion years later >still cool with this
: Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)17:48:19 No.44469729 >die >go to hell >devil says I'm forced to browse 4chan for all eternity 7 KB PNG >says it's supposed to be ironic about my life or something >okay sure lol >6 billion years later >still cool with this

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Anon's privacy gets violated | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 106 KB JPG : Anonymous 402 KB PNG 04/09/22(Sat)20:17:09 No.68140959 >mom cleans my room while i'm at work >have panic attack when i get home 04/09/22(Sat)20:19:01 No.68140986 >tfw mom organized the dildos by size
Anonymous 106 KB JPG : Anonymous 402 KB PNG 04/09/22(Sat)20:17:09 No.68140959 >mom cleans my room while i'm at work >have panic attack when i get home 04/09/22(Sat)20:19:01 No.68140986 >tfw mom organized the dildos by size

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Anon is white | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)20:56:15 No.307324631 ► File: pic.jpg (131 KB, 1600x902) >>307322435 Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)20:57:25 No.307324746 ► >>307324631 this website is for whites only Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)21:02:30 No.307325124 File: pic2.jpg (1.42 MB, 3264x1840) >>307324746
Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)20:56:15 No.307324631 ► File: pic.jpg (131 KB, 1600x902) >>307322435 Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)20:57:25 No.307324746 ► >>307324631 this website is for whites only Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)21:02:30 No.307325124 File: pic2.jpg (1.42 MB, 3264x1840) >>307324746

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Anon works for the Amazon marketing team | /r/Greentext


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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: rhJN7bjZ 06/10/22(Fri)20:58:04 No.381848611 > the year is 2052 > your government mandated VaxPASS ™ has just detected that you skipped Gender Class at George Floyd Memorial High School 164 KB JPG > you quietly walk down the intersection between Kamala Harris St. and Right- to-Abortion Avenue > suddenly, you're swarmed in all directions by a diverse team of Anti-Bigotry Specialists > you try to fight but they close in and apprehend you > you feel something sharp poke into your arm > a warm mixture of Pfizer TM Puberty Blockers, J&JTM Brand Estrogen, and Antidepressants courses through your veins > you feel weak and collapse onto the pavement > you wake up in a dark room > a bright light flickers on > all you can make in your hazy view is a swirl of gay pride flags and BLM Fists > you hear a nonbinary voice come over an intercom > "patient #68493 has been approved for anti-hate neural rewiring treatment" > as your vision clears you can make out the portrait of a familiar face on the wall > welcome to Joe Biden's America
Anonymous (ID: rhJN7bjZ 06/10/22(Fri)20:58:04 No.381848611 > the year is 2052 > your government mandated VaxPASS ™ has just detected that you skipped Gender Class at George Floyd Memorial High School 164 KB JPG > you quietly walk down the intersection between Kamala Harris St. and Right- to-Abortion Avenue > suddenly, you're swarmed in all directions by a diverse team of Anti-Bigotry Specialists > you try to fight but they close in and apprehend you > you feel something sharp poke into your arm > a warm mixture of Pfizer TM Puberty Blockers, J&JTM Brand Estrogen, and Antidepressants courses through your veins > you feel weak and collapse onto the pavement > you wake up in a dark room > a bright light flickers on > all you can make in your hazy view is a swirl of gay pride flags and BLM Fists > you hear a nonbinary voice come over an intercom > "patient #68493 has been approved for anti-hate neural rewiring treatment" > as your vision clears you can make out the portrait of a familiar face on the wall > welcome to Joe Biden's America

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Anon has a supportive dad | /r/Greentext


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Anon dislikes his cousin | /r/Greentext

1 Anonymous #665681321 28/01 00:28:36 JPG 458x305 14 KB >Be me >2009 (12 years old) >Cousins coming over >Hated the autistic 10 year old from the minute he could speak English >Kinda looks like pic related >Really wants to see the movie Up >Just so happens we have it on DVD, or I do at least >Notices it when he arrives >Asks if he can have it >Tell him no right off the bat >Of course, being the autist he is, he doesn't stop there >He won't stop bothering people about it >Eventually quiets down until dinnertime >F------ spaghetti again >He's sat opposite me and starts going on about it again >I get sick of his s--- and yell NO at him >He literally grabs his bowl of spaghetti and runs up my little brothers treehouse with it >I'm asked to go check if he's OK >Arrive and he starts going off at me again >Little did he know the ladder wasn't attached so I could just remove it >So I did >Go back and tell everyone that he's fine, he just wants to be alone >10 minutes later and f--- yeah it's ice cream time >Asked to ask him if he wants any >Head back, the retard threw his fork on the other side of the tree in anger >Asks me to run around and get it him >Obviously tell him no, and that he's retarded for throwing it in the first place >Tell him how delicious the ice cream was and that he wasn't getting any >He breaks into tears, gets on his knees, begs for it and mutters out "Please let me d- down I-I j-just wanna t-tell you how I'm feeling, I've got to make y-you u-understand" >HRW I respond "I'm never gonna give you "Up", never gonna let you down, never gonnal run around and dessert you" Haven't seen em since.
1 Anonymous #665681321 28/01 00:28:36 JPG 458x305 14 KB >Be me >2009 (12 years old) >Cousins coming over >Hated the autistic 10 year old from the minute he could speak English >Kinda looks like pic related >Really wants to see the movie Up >Just so happens we have it on DVD, or I do at least >Notices it when he arrives >Asks if he can have it >Tell him no right off the bat >Of course, being the autist he is, he doesn't stop there >He won't stop bothering people about it >Eventually quiets down until dinnertime >F------ spaghetti again >He's sat opposite me and starts going on about it again >I get sick of his s--- and yell NO at him >He literally grabs his bowl of spaghetti and runs up my little brothers treehouse with it >I'm asked to go check if he's OK >Arrive and he starts going off at me again >Little did he know the ladder wasn't attached so I could just remove it >So I did >Go back and tell everyone that he's fine, he just wants to be alone >10 minutes later and f--- yeah it's ice cream time >Asked to ask him if he wants any >Head back, the retard threw his fork on the other side of the tree in anger >Asks me to run around and get it him >Obviously tell him no, and that he's retarded for throwing it in the first place >Tell him how delicious the ice cream was and that he wasn't getting any >He breaks into tears, gets on his knees, begs for it and mutters out "Please let me d- down I-I j-just wanna t-tell you how I'm feeling, I've got to make y-you u-understand" >HRW I respond "I'm never gonna give you "Up", never gonna let you down, never gonnal run around and dessert you" Haven't seen em since.

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Anons Making Progress | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri) 14:05:26 No.879880360 hoarding puzzle.jpg 434 KB JPG So for the past 3 years my 1 bed apartment began looking like this, it eventually became a very similar mess to pic related. I got a note in the mail that there was an inspection for moist in all apartments, I had 5 days to clean it. I cleaned from 7 in the morning to 22 in the evening 5 days straight and it's now spotless. I haven't cleaned in 3 years. I feel pretty good about it as I had wonderful dreams for years that my place would be clean at some point. An insane amount of stress waking up to the mess every day. Im not sure where I want to go with this but I can't share this story with anyone I actually know but i felt like I need to tell someone, anyways I just wanted to say that if your facing a challenge the best way is just to start. 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri) 14:52:04 No.879882851 bertik It made me feel better sharing this thanks to those who read it
: Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri) 14:05:26 No.879880360 hoarding puzzle.jpg 434 KB JPG So for the past 3 years my 1 bed apartment began looking like this, it eventually became a very similar mess to pic related. I got a note in the mail that there was an inspection for moist in all apartments, I had 5 days to clean it. I cleaned from 7 in the morning to 22 in the evening 5 days straight and it's now spotless. I haven't cleaned in 3 years. I feel pretty good about it as I had wonderful dreams for years that my place would be clean at some point. An insane amount of stress waking up to the mess every day. Im not sure where I want to go with this but I can't share this story with anyone I actually know but i felt like I need to tell someone, anyways I just wanted to say that if your facing a challenge the best way is just to start. 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri) 14:52:04 No.879882851 bertik It made me feel better sharing this thanks to those who read it

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Anon channels his inner chad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vpWzL8dn )= Did I win? 06/09/22(Thu)21:56:58 No.1543387 >be me >loner > in library AUTISM IS MY SUPERNO >go there everyday to study because in my apartment is noisy 19 KB JPG >go out for a small eating break >tattoed+piercings ugly bitch tries to make fun of me talking to their friends >"Haha he is always here alone poor boy!" >answer "At least I don't have to destroy my face to distract people from the fact that I am ugly" >Their friends laugh >Bitch starts shouting random noise >Go back to study
Anonymous (ID: vpWzL8dn )= Did I win? 06/09/22(Thu)21:56:58 No.1543387 >be me >loner > in library AUTISM IS MY SUPERNO >go there everyday to study because in my apartment is noisy 19 KB JPG >go out for a small eating break >tattoed+piercings ugly bitch tries to make fun of me talking to their friends >"Haha he is always here alone poor boy!" >answer "At least I don't have to destroy my face to distract people from the fact that I am ugly" >Their friends laugh >Bitch starts shouting random noise >Go back to study

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Anon is a sigma | /r/Greentext

74 KB JPG Today at work I walked by a girl who smiled warmly after wishing me a good morning. She proceeded to stumble a bit on the carpet and spilled her coffee all over the floor. I said "Oh darn, let me grab some paper towels for you!" She was insanely embarrassed and replied "Thank you so much! That's a huge help." I went into the bathroom but instead of getting paper towels I proceeded to one of the stalls and took one of the longest s---- of my entire life. I was in there for probably about 30 minutes. When I came out the coffee was cleaned up and the girl was gone.
74 KB JPG Today at work I walked by a girl who smiled warmly after wishing me a good morning. She proceeded to stumble a bit on the carpet and spilled her coffee all over the floor. I said "Oh darn, let me grab some paper towels for you!" She was insanely embarrassed and replied "Thank you so much! That's a huge help." I went into the bathroom but instead of getting paper towels I proceeded to one of the stalls and took one of the longest s---- of my entire life. I was in there for probably about 30 minutes. When I came out the coffee was cleaned up and the girl was gone.

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 06/11/22(Sat)10:50:36 No.879915618 > be me > write "who" > wait for the opponent reply > respond "asked?" > mfw
: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 06/11/22(Sat)10:50:36 No.879915618 > be me > write "who" > wait for the opponent reply > respond "asked?" > mfw

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Best anime of the Middle East | /r/Greentext

File :1167506930.gif-(46 KB, 310x235, Gold02saddam.gif) 12/30/06(Sat) 14:28:50 No. 18161475 THERE ONCE WAS A MAN NAMED SADDAM HUSSEIN, WHO WAS PRESIDENT OF IRAQ. HE HAD FAME, POWER, AND WEALTH, BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. BEFORE THEY HUNG HIM FROM THE GALLOWS, THESE WERE THE FINAL WORDS HE SAID. "MY WMD'S ARE YOURS FOR THE TAKING, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND IT FIRST. I LEFT EVERYTHING I OWN IN ONE PIECE." EVER SINCE, TERRORISTS ALL OVER THE WORLD SET SAIL FOR THE MIDDLE EAST, SEARCHING FOR ONE PIECE, THE WEAPON THAT WOULD MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE!
File :1167506930.gif-(46 KB, 310x235, Gold02saddam.gif) 12/30/06(Sat) 14:28:50 No. 18161475 THERE ONCE WAS A MAN NAMED SADDAM HUSSEIN, WHO WAS PRESIDENT OF IRAQ. HE HAD FAME, POWER, AND WEALTH, BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. BEFORE THEY HUNG HIM FROM THE GALLOWS, THESE WERE THE FINAL WORDS HE SAID. "MY WMD'S ARE YOURS FOR THE TAKING, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND IT FIRST. I LEFT EVERYTHING I OWN IN ONE PIECE." EVER SINCE, TERRORISTS ALL OVER THE WORLD SET SAIL FOR THE MIDDLE EAST, SEARCHING FOR ONE PIECE, THE WEAPON THAT WOULD MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE!

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Kiwifag gets stopped in South America | /r/Greentext

18:34 How about one from equador, just out of Colombia in the mountains. > be me, be cycling from Canada to argentina > been on the road for around a year so have seen it all by now >Road blocks are pretty typical, sometimes military, sometimes just some family looking for a few coins donation >just ride through and wave, they might stand in front but they all get out of the way of you if you keep riding at them. > ride past a little hut, a guy with a semiauto runs out and tells me to stop >nah I'm good wave and keep going >another guy walks out of the bush in front of me and levels his rifle at me >fine, I stop. >notice no uniforms, notice 2 more guys come out of the hut. Now am surrounded >they say they want money >Soz boss I don't speak spanish >guy brings his hand to his mouth, we are hungry, want money >oh I got ya >open up one of my bags and offer him a crushed 2 min noodle, all the rest is dirty clothes >no, money! Money! >guy pulls out his wallet and takes out a note >I take the note out of his hand and start thanking him >the guy in front of me with the rifle keels over laughing > the other twos sides have left orbit >guy snatches the note back and the vein in his forehead is about to burst >points down the road and tells me to f--- off >I ride off and wave Can't outwit and idiot m8
18:34 How about one from equador, just out of Colombia in the mountains. > be me, be cycling from Canada to argentina > been on the road for around a year so have seen it all by now >Road blocks are pretty typical, sometimes military, sometimes just some family looking for a few coins donation >just ride through and wave, they might stand in front but they all get out of the way of you if you keep riding at them. > ride past a little hut, a guy with a semiauto runs out and tells me to stop >nah I'm good wave and keep going >another guy walks out of the bush in front of me and levels his rifle at me >fine, I stop. >notice no uniforms, notice 2 more guys come out of the hut. Now am surrounded >they say they want money >Soz boss I don't speak spanish >guy brings his hand to his mouth, we are hungry, want money >oh I got ya >open up one of my bags and offer him a crushed 2 min noodle, all the rest is dirty clothes >no, money! Money! >guy pulls out his wallet and takes out a note >I take the note out of his hand and start thanking him >the guy in front of me with the rifle keels over laughing > the other twos sides have left orbit >guy snatches the note back and the vein in his forehead is about to burst >points down the road and tells me to f--- off >I ride off and wave Can't outwit and idiot m8

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anon makes a point | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)11:08:54 No.581852657 >specifically designed to kill Jedi >not even one Jedi was killed by it 97 KB JPG Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)11:10:32 No.581852794 your penis was designed to reproduce yet not even one girl has been f----- by it >>581852882 # >>581852907 # >>581853461 # >>581853567 # >>581853720 # >>581853840 # >>581854234 #
Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)11:08:54 No.581852657 >specifically designed to kill Jedi >not even one Jedi was killed by it 97 KB JPG Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)11:10:32 No.581852794 your penis was designed to reproduce yet not even one girl has been f----- by it >>581852882 # >>581852907 # >>581853461 # >>581853567 # >>581853720 # >>581853840 # >>581854234 #

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Anon discovers sugar induced cope-metabolism. | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2022-05-20 231440.jpg (35 KB, 756x599) Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri) 16:58:34 No.879866326 >be me, fat f--- >have GF, even fatter, even tho she was just chubby when we met >been slim all my life, till I adapted her eating patterns >decide to break that pattern, do fasting, eat low carbs-high fat, also work out a bit >GF laughs at me for doing all of that "ridiculous and stupid" stuff >tells my family and her friends >I'm soon to be known as the keto-tinfoilhead >"You get fat from fat, not from sugar dummy" they say >show them data saying otherwise, get laughed at >whatever, keep going >6 months in, im basically back to my old self >lost 18 kg of fat >skin glows, feel healthy and full of energy >taste improved >no cravings anymore >GF doesn't laugh at me anymore, but is visibly upset all the time >gives me s--- for reminding her of her own stupidity just by existing >she breaks up with me, tells her family how I was abusive and fat-shaming, which I wasn't >get death threats >don't stick you d--- in fatty bois.
File: Screenshot 2022-05-20 231440.jpg (35 KB, 756x599) Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri) 16:58:34 No.879866326 >be me, fat f--- >have GF, even fatter, even tho she was just chubby when we met >been slim all my life, till I adapted her eating patterns >decide to break that pattern, do fasting, eat low carbs-high fat, also work out a bit >GF laughs at me for doing all of that "ridiculous and stupid" stuff >tells my family and her friends >I'm soon to be known as the keto-tinfoilhead >"You get fat from fat, not from sugar dummy" they say >show them data saying otherwise, get laughed at >whatever, keep going >6 months in, im basically back to my old self >lost 18 kg of fat >skin glows, feel healthy and full of energy >taste improved >no cravings anymore >GF doesn't laugh at me anymore, but is visibly upset all the time >gives me s--- for reminding her of her own stupidity just by existing >she breaks up with me, tells her family how I was abusive and fat-shaming, which I wasn't >get death threats >don't stick you d--- in fatty bois.

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Anon reachin the wizard status | /r/Greentext

Ok, what to do anons > be me > notice 8/10 lookin at me in the college > w--.jpg > she is doing it when I am not looking > after month I met her outside of the 9 KB JPG school > we talked a bit and then I wrote her > mfw she didnt reply > after month > she is staring at me again, still didnt reply > asked my friend who is also her friend about it > "Oh yeah femanon had a crush on you but she thinks that you are a player and she is moving on" W-- ANONS. I am f------ VIRGIN in my early twenties, w-- is wrong with her. Pls help me what should I do? It seems like she is avoiding me but she cant help herself. This is my last chance before reaching the Wizard status pls help
Ok, what to do anons > be me > notice 8/10 lookin at me in the college > w--.jpg > she is doing it when I am not looking > after month I met her outside of the 9 KB JPG school > we talked a bit and then I wrote her > mfw she didnt reply > after month > she is staring at me again, still didnt reply > asked my friend who is also her friend about it > "Oh yeah femanon had a crush on you but she thinks that you are a player and she is moving on" W-- ANONS. I am f------ VIRGIN in my early twenties, w-- is wrong with her. Pls help me what should I do? It seems like she is avoiding me but she cant help herself. This is my last chance before reaching the Wizard status pls help

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Anon makes a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image 11/28/18 (Wed)19:48:39 No.49553714 >the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm View Thread
: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image 11/28/18 (Wed)19:48:39 No.49553714 >the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm View Thread

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Anon is a monster | /r/Greentext

03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone 33 KB PNG >oh s--- it's a bloody possum >think its dead, go to put it in garbage >notice its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead Anonymous
03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone 33 KB PNG >oh s--- it's a bloody possum >think its dead, go to put it in garbage >notice its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead Anonymous

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:09:24 No.872097529 >Tfw I've been out as a gay male for over 10 years >now gay sex is so normal I started to develop a forced straight kink >fantasize constantly about a girl forcing me to blow my load into her womb, have babies, and get married 39 KB JPG >tfw I'm a gay man getting off to the idea of having seven or eight kids with a loving, tradwife
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:09:24 No.872097529 >Tfw I've been out as a gay male for over 10 years >now gay sex is so normal I started to develop a forced straight kink >fantasize constantly about a girl forcing me to blow my load into her womb, have babies, and get married 39 KB JPG >tfw I'm a gay man getting off to the idea of having seven or eight kids with a loving, tradwife

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Anon works in reddit HQ | /r/Greentext

>work at mid-sized software company >IT support >some new guy gets a job as a programmer >claims he has worked at very big projects before >can't name them >fast forward 2 weeks >calls me and claims his computer is crashing every few minutes >walk up to his desk and watch him work until it crashes again >have leenux on a stick with me at all times >boot it up >ask him if he's been visiting any kind of not-so-legit websites >"No man, I'm clean" >gets sweaty and nervous once I browse trough the personal files >Downloads folder has multiple zip's with cryptic names inside them >"I dunno man, they were always there" >one of them is 163GB big >opening it takes almost 10 minutes >tons of folders with russian names >all of them are filled with videos of sheeps being shaved for whatever reason
>work at mid-sized software company >IT support >some new guy gets a job as a programmer >claims he has worked at very big projects before >can't name them >fast forward 2 weeks >calls me and claims his computer is crashing every few minutes >walk up to his desk and watch him work until it crashes again >have leenux on a stick with me at all times >boot it up >ask him if he's been visiting any kind of not-so-legit websites >"No man, I'm clean" >gets sweaty and nervous once I browse trough the personal files >Downloads folder has multiple zip's with cryptic names inside them >"I dunno man, they were always there" >one of them is 163GB big >opening it takes almost 10 minutes >tons of folders with russian names >all of them are filled with videos of sheeps being shaved for whatever reason

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