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the sub is dying to 0 effort reposts | /r/Greentext


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Anon thinks up a new diet: | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The Famine diet. > Be me > Fat as f--- > Take a fuckton of LSD one day > Take a long shower around the peak > Become disgusted with body > Idea 31 KB JPG > The most retarded diet known to man > I call it The Famine Diet > I burn 2200Kcal a day. > My job consists of sitting still in a factory 12h a day. > Schedule is 3 to 4 days work, 5 to 6 days of no work. > Eat AT MOST 500kcal on working days, as if I'm in a famine. > Eat ~ 1700kcal every day that I don't work, maybe workout a bit too. > Repeat for the entire summer. > ??? > Profit, Not fat anymore. > Foolproof. All that's needed is discipline. I know that it's really f------ retarded, but I am going balls deep in it because I am curious of what's gonna happen. 06/12/22(Sun)08:56:12 No.69011751
: Anonymous The Famine diet. > Be me > Fat as f--- > Take a fuckton of LSD one day > Take a long shower around the peak > Become disgusted with body > Idea 31 KB JPG > The most retarded diet known to man > I call it The Famine Diet > I burn 2200Kcal a day. > My job consists of sitting still in a factory 12h a day. > Schedule is 3 to 4 days work, 5 to 6 days of no work. > Eat AT MOST 500kcal on working days, as if I'm in a famine. > Eat ~ 1700kcal every day that I don't work, maybe workout a bit too. > Repeat for the entire summer. > ??? > Profit, Not fat anymore. > Foolproof. All that's needed is discipline. I know that it's really f------ retarded, but I am going balls deep in it because I am curious of what's gonna happen. 06/12/22(Sun)08:56:12 No.69011751

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Anon watches adult content | /r/Greentext

06/12/22(Sun)13:45:34 No.69013158 Anonymous >be me 2 hours ago, watching p--- GAY 341 KB JPG >its the most generic p---- you can watch, a man and a woman having normal sex on a bed >the final scene is comming and the guy is moaning as he is doing her missionary and is signaling he is about to c-- >as this happens he immediately gets off her, lays on his back in the bed, puts his feet behind his neck, cooms on his own face and starts sucking his own c--- Why would you do this? There was literally no hint during the whole movie that something so gay would take place. Was this the directors idea of a funny joke? 2 Replies View Thread Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)13:46:35 No.69013164 >>69013158 (OP) # I don't see a link. Chop chop. : Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)14:16:58 No.69013350 >>69013158 (OP) # That's funny as f---. Mad respect for the producers.
06/12/22(Sun)13:45:34 No.69013158 Anonymous >be me 2 hours ago, watching p--- GAY 341 KB JPG >its the most generic p---- you can watch, a man and a woman having normal sex on a bed >the final scene is comming and the guy is moaning as he is doing her missionary and is signaling he is about to c-- >as this happens he immediately gets off her, lays on his back in the bed, puts his feet behind his neck, cooms on his own face and starts sucking his own c--- Why would you do this? There was literally no hint during the whole movie that something so gay would take place. Was this the directors idea of a funny joke? 2 Replies View Thread Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)13:46:35 No.69013164 >>69013158 (OP) # I don't see a link. Chop chop. : Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)14:16:58 No.69013350 >>69013158 (OP) # That's funny as f---. Mad respect for the producers.

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Anon Lives in Texas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)03:02:10 No.879982490 Post stories about your neighbors. I'll start. >be me >relocated to semi-rural Texas for new job contract 49 KB JPG >perfectly nice I guess except one thing: the birds are loud as F--- and wake me up at 4:30 every goddamn morning >decide to just accept it and change my routine >start having coffee on porch at 4:30 since I'm up anyway >FFWD a couple weeks and a family moves into the house across the street from us >one morning I'm having my bird.mp3 coffee >see neighbor throw open front door >holding a f------ shotgun >angrily marches over to the tree out front in his pajamas >aims shotgun up into branches gungobang.wav >birds.mp3 stops completely >twigs and shredded leaves gently rain down >blissful silence >he walks back inside and closes the door >anons I think I like Texas
: Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)03:02:10 No.879982490 Post stories about your neighbors. I'll start. >be me >relocated to semi-rural Texas for new job contract 49 KB JPG >perfectly nice I guess except one thing: the birds are loud as F--- and wake me up at 4:30 every goddamn morning >decide to just accept it and change my routine >start having coffee on porch at 4:30 since I'm up anyway >FFWD a couple weeks and a family moves into the house across the street from us >one morning I'm having my bird.mp3 coffee >see neighbor throw open front door >holding a f------ shotgun >angrily marches over to the tree out front in his pajamas >aims shotgun up into branches gungobang.wav >birds.mp3 stops completely >twigs and shredded leaves gently rain down >blissful silence >he walks back inside and closes the door >anons I think I like Texas

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Anon gives lyf hax | /r/Greentext

08/15/19(Thu)11:16:26 No.51997604 : Anonymous >>51997489 # >live a beautiful, strenuous life for your mom >get a well paying, respectable job >beautiful, loving wife >many happy, bright eyed children >learn new languages >get fit as f--- >learn several martial arts >make wise investments >wait for mom to die >on her deathbed she tells you how proud she is of you, and how sorry she is that she almost failed you, and she's just so happy that you turned things around THEN you can kill yourself. >>51997649 #
08/15/19(Thu)11:16:26 No.51997604 : Anonymous >>51997489 # >live a beautiful, strenuous life for your mom >get a well paying, respectable job >beautiful, loving wife >many happy, bright eyed children >learn new languages >get fit as f--- >learn several martial arts >make wise investments >wait for mom to die >on her deathbed she tells you how proud she is of you, and how sorry she is that she almost failed you, and she's just so happy that you turned things around THEN you can kill yourself. >>51997649 #

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Outstanding move by anon | /r/Greentext

12/04/18(Tue)19:07:03 No.49670991 : Anonymous 17 KB JPG > suddenly she sprints forward and grabs my arm casually >"hey anon! its me from highschool! u remember?" >ive never seen this girl in my life >she then pushes me against a building wall and puts her hand on my benis >i close my eyes, autism kicks in >i kick her in the stomack with my knee >while she screams a tall fat bigger comes out of a car >"w-what the f-- u doin! >he had a knife >they were trying to rob me >escape into the shadows with a boner mfw when autism saved my life >be me 18 year old >walking alone back from uni at night >i see some girl in a hoodie behind me >whatever.avi >i go forward several blocks taking multiple turns because autism (think shes following me)
12/04/18(Tue)19:07:03 No.49670991 : Anonymous 17 KB JPG > suddenly she sprints forward and grabs my arm casually >"hey anon! its me from highschool! u remember?" >ive never seen this girl in my life >she then pushes me against a building wall and puts her hand on my benis >i close my eyes, autism kicks in >i kick her in the stomack with my knee >while she screams a tall fat bigger comes out of a car >"w-what the f-- u doin! >he had a knife >they were trying to rob me >escape into the shadows with a boner mfw when autism saved my life >be me 18 year old >walking alone back from uni at night >i see some girl in a hoodie behind me >whatever.avi >i go forward several blocks taking multiple turns because autism (think shes following me)

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anon gives a history lesson | /r/Greentext

** * * * * * * * 94 KB PNG >enslave people >other states decide it's wrong >"hey yall should stop that s---" >"MUH STATE RIGHTS!!!!" >secede >fight 1 war >lose
** * * * * * * * 94 KB PNG >enslave people >other states decide it's wrong >"hey yall should stop that s---" >"MUH STATE RIGHTS!!!!" >secede >fight 1 war >lose

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Anon gets blue balls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Be me >Watching p--- >Amateur couple >She's on top of him 7 KB JPG >They're gazing deep into each other's eyes very lovingly >"You're my best friend" she says to him while smiling >"You're my best friend too" He replies back to her >Realize that I can't j------- to such a wholesome video of two lovers having intimacy >Stop watching video >No longer have it in me to c-- so I just sit there and get blue balls Mfw 2 Replies View Thread 06/12/22(Sun)01:45:20 No.879974964
: Anonymous >Be me >Watching p--- >Amateur couple >She's on top of him 7 KB JPG >They're gazing deep into each other's eyes very lovingly >"You're my best friend" she says to him while smiling >"You're my best friend too" He replies back to her >Realize that I can't j------- to such a wholesome video of two lovers having intimacy >Stop watching video >No longer have it in me to c-- so I just sit there and get blue balls Mfw 2 Replies View Thread 06/12/22(Sun)01:45:20 No.879974964

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Anons investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39)-863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this
5m (9/20 9:39)-863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this

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Anon becomes empowered | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)09:23:00 No.46793130 >be me >have twin sister >she starts menstruating at 12 >feel left out >start scraping the inside of my rectum 806 KB PNG with a toothbrush >causes it to bleed >insert tampon >feel feminine and empowered >46793182 # >>46793386 #
: Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)09:23:00 No.46793130 >be me >have twin sister >she starts menstruating at 12 >feel left out >start scraping the inside of my rectum 806 KB PNG with a toothbrush >causes it to bleed >insert tampon >feel feminine and empowered >46793182 # >>46793386 #

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Anon is accurate | /r/Greentext

> hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally - P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- Anonymous 07/22/20(Wed)23:38:22 No.96910896 So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter
> hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally - P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- Anonymous 07/22/20(Wed)23:38:22 No.96910896 So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter

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Anon is too shy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >me at the gym V >see girl bench pressing w/o spotter >omg she is going to hurt herself >says nothing to avoid giving creep vibes >do my thing, half an hour passes >hear a terrible scream 64 KB JPG >apparently she broke her clavicle >she would probably carry that injury for a couple of years >is this my fault? i feel is my fault. 06/11/22(Sat)23:20:46 No.879947955
: Anonymous >me at the gym V >see girl bench pressing w/o spotter >omg she is going to hurt herself >says nothing to avoid giving creep vibes >do my thing, half an hour passes >hear a terrible scream 64 KB JPG >apparently she broke her clavicle >she would probably carry that injury for a couple of years >is this my fault? i feel is my fault. 06/11/22(Sat)23:20:46 No.879947955

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Balkan Moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)01:13:03 No.155774893 Imagine if instead of killing each other slavs worked together. We could steal every car in Germany in three days.
Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)01:13:03 No.155774893 Imagine if instead of killing each other slavs worked together. We could steal every car in Germany in three days.

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Anon being germ*n | /r/Greentext

No.87571996 11 hours ago Germany >Jurgen WHY THE F--- CANT YOU JUST WRITE JUERGEN ITS F------ JUERGEN IF YOU DONT HAVE AN UMLAUT HIS NAME IS NOT JURGEN 25 replies No.87572151 11 hours ago * Israel >>87571996 how about killing yourself you disgusting germ*n 24 replies No.87572244 11 hours ago Germany >>87572151 how about you leave through the chimney like your grandpa 32 replies ●●● ●●● ●●●
No.87571996 11 hours ago Germany >Jurgen WHY THE F--- CANT YOU JUST WRITE JUERGEN ITS F------ JUERGEN IF YOU DONT HAVE AN UMLAUT HIS NAME IS NOT JURGEN 25 replies No.87572151 11 hours ago * Israel >>87571996 how about killing yourself you disgusting germ*n 24 replies No.87572244 11 hours ago Germany >>87572151 how about you leave through the chimney like your grandpa 32 replies ●●● ●●● ●●●

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Anon is suffering | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: fLN+Eukj) 06/11/22(Sat) 19:03:14 No.49539966 291 KB PNG >can't hold cash because inflation >can't hold stocks because crashing >can't hold crypto because crashing >can't hold gold because manipulated >can't hold assets because interest rates crashing market >can't short due scamwicks Anonymous (ID: CA/T2/T7) 06/11/22(Sat) 19:04:03 No.49539975 1/22(Sat)1 you're gonna hold that spatula and be happy
Anonymous (ID: fLN+Eukj) 06/11/22(Sat) 19:03:14 No.49539966 291 KB PNG >can't hold cash because inflation >can't hold stocks because crashing >can't hold crypto because crashing >can't hold gold because manipulated >can't hold assets because interest rates crashing market >can't short due scamwicks Anonymous (ID: CA/T2/T7) 06/11/22(Sat) 19:04:03 No.49539975 1/22(Sat)1 you're gonna hold that spatula and be happy

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Anon gets caught by his teacher | /r/Greentext

12/03/21(Fri)17:10:37 No.867916346 : Anonymous Parents ignored school shooter's depression >teacher caught him searching gun ammunition in school and contacted his parents 188 KB JPG >mom later sent him a text with "lol" and told him not to get caught next time >few days later teacher catches him drawing pictures of a gun and bullet with "my life is s---" and "kill classmates" quotes >contacted his parents again >they downplayed it and wanted him to go back to class >later on that day his dad sent him a text "please don't do it" after discovering his gun was missing 51 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
12/03/21(Fri)17:10:37 No.867916346 : Anonymous Parents ignored school shooter's depression >teacher caught him searching gun ammunition in school and contacted his parents 188 KB JPG >mom later sent him a text with "lol" and told him not to get caught next time >few days later teacher catches him drawing pictures of a gun and bullet with "my life is s---" and "kill classmates" quotes >contacted his parents again >they downplayed it and wanted him to go back to class >later on that day his dad sent him a text "please don't do it" after discovering his gun was missing 51 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon is waiting for the Nobel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/20(Sat)08:53:58 No.838978048 I just had the perfect idea. >vasectomies are reversible >[lightbulb] >enforce a new law 719 KB PNG >every child with a penis and testicles over the age of 5 must have a vasectomy performed on them >the vasectomy may not be legally reversed until the child becomes an adult and deliberately decides that he wants children >reversal is free >libtards are happy because they can f--- each other day in and day out without worrying about making babies >conservatrash is happy because abortions have dropped to zero as they are now rendered obsolete >where's my nobel Thoughts?
: Anonymous 10/31/20(Sat)08:53:58 No.838978048 I just had the perfect idea. >vasectomies are reversible >[lightbulb] >enforce a new law 719 KB PNG >every child with a penis and testicles over the age of 5 must have a vasectomy performed on them >the vasectomy may not be legally reversed until the child becomes an adult and deliberately decides that he wants children >reversal is free >libtards are happy because they can f--- each other day in and day out without worrying about making babies >conservatrash is happy because abortions have dropped to zero as they are now rendered obsolete >where's my nobel Thoughts?

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Jarl balgruuf | /r/Greentext

OLE meficrow: >random guy in s--- tier iron armor shows up one day saying a dragon is burning down a city >don't know why the guards let him in >figure I can throw another body at my court wizard so I shuffle him over >Comes back with arrows sticking out of his body and holding the tablet out for my court wizard like its nothing >Hear reports someone killed literally every bandit, rat, wolf, and rabbit between here and the spot he was sent >I now need to get this pain immune lunatic murderer out of my city. >Dragon shows up >Ohthankthegods >Send the guy out on a suicide mission to kill a dragon >End of my worries >He comes back, apparently having killed the dragon and eaten its soul >According to reports just stood there and let the dragon burn him while chugging addictive and dangerous health potions he made himself. >Now standing in front of me eating an entire bushel of apples, two loaves of bread, and an entire side of beef while everyone looks on in horror and disgust >Need to get him away from my children as fast as possible >Tell him he needs to climb the tallest mountain in Skyrim and stay with the Graybeards >He leaves without a word >Hopefully thats the last I'll see of him.
OLE meficrow: >random guy in s--- tier iron armor shows up one day saying a dragon is burning down a city >don't know why the guards let him in >figure I can throw another body at my court wizard so I shuffle him over >Comes back with arrows sticking out of his body and holding the tablet out for my court wizard like its nothing >Hear reports someone killed literally every bandit, rat, wolf, and rabbit between here and the spot he was sent >I now need to get this pain immune lunatic murderer out of my city. >Dragon shows up >Ohthankthegods >Send the guy out on a suicide mission to kill a dragon >End of my worries >He comes back, apparently having killed the dragon and eaten its soul >According to reports just stood there and let the dragon burn him while chugging addictive and dangerous health potions he made himself. >Now standing in front of me eating an entire bushel of apples, two loaves of bread, and an entire side of beef while everyone looks on in horror and disgust >Need to get him away from my children as fast as possible >Tell him he needs to climb the tallest mountain in Skyrim and stay with the Graybeards >He leaves without a word >Hopefully thats the last I'll see of him.

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Anon formally apologize | /r/Greentext

06/12/22(Sun)06:42:26 No.879968580 >be me >autistic >browse this cursed forum >give my retarded opinion on something >someome replied "shut your autistic ass up you retard" >w--... how did he know about my medical condition! >i thought this site was based on anonymity >i would like to formerly apologise for everthing i said here >pls black anon don't come to my house : Anonymous 133 KB JPG
06/12/22(Sun)06:42:26 No.879968580 >be me >autistic >browse this cursed forum >give my retarded opinion on something >someome replied "shut your autistic ass up you retard" >w--... how did he know about my medical condition! >i thought this site was based on anonymity >i would like to formerly apologise for everthing i said here >pls black anon don't come to my house : Anonymous 133 KB JPG

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Anon learns about continents | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/11/22(Sat)21:49:06 No.879962523 >be me >Junior high >Keep hearing people talking about youth in Asia >People are very against them >Find myself wondering what the youth in Asia are doing 1.63 MB PNG >People get upset when I ask what is wrong with youth in Asia >Stop asking about it and keep curiosity to myself >Had graduated highschool by the time I realized it was euthanasia I am not a clever man...
Anonymous 06/11/22(Sat)21:49:06 No.879962523 >be me >Junior high >Keep hearing people talking about youth in Asia >People are very against them >Find myself wondering what the youth in Asia are doing 1.63 MB PNG >People get upset when I ask what is wrong with youth in Asia >Stop asking about it and keep curiosity to myself >Had graduated highschool by the time I realized it was euthanasia I am not a clever man...

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