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Anon does it again | /r/Greentext

>made the therapist cry again
>made the therapist cry again

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Anon saw a Belgian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)17:17:08 No.68465470 05/02/22(Mon)17:18:04 No.68465485 I saw a Belgian man today 25 KB JPG Anonymous >>68465470 (OP) im sorry you had to go through that, im praying for you anon
Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)17:17:08 No.68465470 05/02/22(Mon)17:18:04 No.68465485 I saw a Belgian man today 25 KB JPG Anonymous >>68465470 (OP) im sorry you had to go through that, im praying for you anon

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Anon gives it his best shot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/22(Mon)16:41:59 No.880075958 >waiting in classroom for the professor to get there and start class >notice cutie sitting near me watching pimple popping videos again >time to shoot my shot >stand up and get her attention 100 KB JPG >turn and lift my shirt so she can see my backne >mash one of the bigger ones and let it drip >she recoils and shouts how disgusting I am >everybody looks up and sees my pouty love handles >wipe away the goo with my shirt and sit back down >she carries her chair to the back of the room and people slide over so she can fit at an already full table >nobody else sits near me since she took the chair >now I have an email from the professor saying he has to see me in his office before the next class >he wasn't even there when it happened Seriously what did I do wrong anons?
: Anonymous 06/13/22(Mon)16:41:59 No.880075958 >waiting in classroom for the professor to get there and start class >notice cutie sitting near me watching pimple popping videos again >time to shoot my shot >stand up and get her attention 100 KB JPG >turn and lift my shirt so she can see my backne >mash one of the bigger ones and let it drip >she recoils and shouts how disgusting I am >everybody looks up and sees my pouty love handles >wipe away the goo with my shirt and sit back down >she carries her chair to the back of the room and people slide over so she can fit at an already full table >nobody else sits near me since she took the chair >now I have an email from the professor saying he has to see me in his office before the next class >he wasn't even there when it happened Seriously what did I do wrong anons?

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Anon gives in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)07:29:28 No.880103501 >be straight >4chan keeps telling me being the giver in a--- sex isn't gay >feeling insanely horny and not getting much attention on tinder and bumble with females 067 195 KB JPG >make a grindr for s---- and giggles >not even 10 minutes in and I have 10 guys messgaing me and 2 guys wanting to meet up right away to suck my d--- and get f----- by me >I'm so insanely horny, I figure that giving a--- sex to a guy isn't gay its only gay if you receive it >agree to f--- this one twink dude >he comes over, sucks my d---, I f--- his ass and c-- inside him >when the post nut clarity hits I am absolutely repulsed and disgusted with myself >tell the guy he has to leave immediately because I have to go someone >go for a drive and crank the music on the radio as loud as it can go and scream at the top of my lungs because I feel gay and that's something I can never take back >have to live with the fact that I have sexual relations with another dude >all because this site kept telling me it's not gay to have sex with another man's butt hole I'm so close to roping it's not even funny. Happy F------ Pride Month 38 Replies / 7 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)09:12:42 No.880108171 >>880108079 # Based : Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)09:23:37 No.880108606 Sigh. That's it. I give up. I have decided that I am at least bi and will live life on the gay side. I have already set up a date on grindr with another cute twink. We're going out for dinner and back to my place. F--- everything. 200 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)07:29:28 No.880103501 >be straight >4chan keeps telling me being the giver in a--- sex isn't gay >feeling insanely horny and not getting much attention on tinder and bumble with females 067 195 KB JPG >make a grindr for s---- and giggles >not even 10 minutes in and I have 10 guys messgaing me and 2 guys wanting to meet up right away to suck my d--- and get f----- by me >I'm so insanely horny, I figure that giving a--- sex to a guy isn't gay its only gay if you receive it >agree to f--- this one twink dude >he comes over, sucks my d---, I f--- his ass and c-- inside him >when the post nut clarity hits I am absolutely repulsed and disgusted with myself >tell the guy he has to leave immediately because I have to go someone >go for a drive and crank the music on the radio as loud as it can go and scream at the top of my lungs because I feel gay and that's something I can never take back >have to live with the fact that I have sexual relations with another dude >all because this site kept telling me it's not gay to have sex with another man's butt hole I'm so close to roping it's not even funny. Happy F------ Pride Month 38 Replies / 7 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)09:12:42 No.880108171 >>880108079 # Based : Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)09:23:37 No.880108606 Sigh. That's it. I give up. I have decided that I am at least bi and will live life on the gay side. I have already set up a date on grindr with another cute twink. We're going out for dinner and back to my place. F--- everything. 200 KB JPG

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Anon needs some bitches | /r/Greentext

Girls are weird Why are woman like this >be me > want to start getting girls >start going to the gym because I thought that's what girls like 434 KB JPG > year later and still no bitches >look up what girls like >turns out they like eyes the most >I have very basic eyes >just brown and nothing special about them >decide to get colored contacts >get contacts that are bluish purple >look like the night sky (pic related) >wear out in public next day >instant stares you can see them from a mile away >some girls start talking to me >finally getting some attention >decide to do online dating >find some 9/10 qt >Go on a date with her >I really like her >go back to my place >we do it >afterwards she goes to the bathroom >When she comes back all her makeup is gone >transforms from a 9 to a 7 real fast >Don't really care though still like her >then I go to the bathroom and take off my glasses >come out and this girl instantly gets mad >says I catfished her and that I should've told her they were contacts >so tired I could barely think >I said that if she didn't have makeup I would've never gone on a date with her >she starts crying and I kick her out Why are woman like this? She has to realize how stupid she sounds right?
Girls are weird Why are woman like this >be me > want to start getting girls >start going to the gym because I thought that's what girls like 434 KB JPG > year later and still no bitches >look up what girls like >turns out they like eyes the most >I have very basic eyes >just brown and nothing special about them >decide to get colored contacts >get contacts that are bluish purple >look like the night sky (pic related) >wear out in public next day >instant stares you can see them from a mile away >some girls start talking to me >finally getting some attention >decide to do online dating >find some 9/10 qt >Go on a date with her >I really like her >go back to my place >we do it >afterwards she goes to the bathroom >When she comes back all her makeup is gone >transforms from a 9 to a 7 real fast >Don't really care though still like her >then I go to the bathroom and take off my glasses >come out and this girl instantly gets mad >says I catfished her and that I should've told her they were contacts >so tired I could barely think >I said that if she didn't have makeup I would've never gone on a date with her >she starts crying and I kick her out Why are woman like this? She has to realize how stupid she sounds right?

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She's so heavy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/22(Mon)23:50:11 >actually managed to get a gf at the end of 2020 >relationship has been perfect so far >but she gained weight recently, a significant amount maybe 40 lbs >she likes how her body's 53 KB PNG changed >keeps going around calling herself "the skinny white boy's fat gf" when she's with me >even says this to my family members >keeps doing stuff like sitting on my lap or getting on top of me, even in public I would have been fine with it otherwise because it almost all went to her thighs hips and ass, and I like her being confident despite her weight, but I don't like her embarrassing me like this. How do I get her to stop doing this stuff? No.69035767
: Anonymous 06/13/22(Mon)23:50:11 >actually managed to get a gf at the end of 2020 >relationship has been perfect so far >but she gained weight recently, a significant amount maybe 40 lbs >she likes how her body's 53 KB PNG changed >keeps going around calling herself "the skinny white boy's fat gf" when she's with me >even says this to my family members >keeps doing stuff like sitting on my lap or getting on top of me, even in public I would have been fine with it otherwise because it almost all went to her thighs hips and ass, and I like her being confident despite her weight, but I don't like her embarrassing me like this. How do I get her to stop doing this stuff? No.69035767

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Anon is a complete dirtbag | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)09:46:19 No.864620424 >be me, 2005 >10 years old, had moved to a new school 2 years ago >keep in touch with old friends via RuneScape 216 KB JPG >one of their moms dies from cancer, has a mildly abusive dad with temper >go to funeral, first time I've seen this friend since I moved >he's really sad but handling it well, we talk about RuneScape and I tell him I can help level his skills >he gives me his password >I steal all of his valuable stuff, change the password, and sell his account to one of my friends at my new school for $5 >never talked to the old friend again Mfw I realize I was a sociopath as a child
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)09:46:19 No.864620424 >be me, 2005 >10 years old, had moved to a new school 2 years ago >keep in touch with old friends via RuneScape 216 KB JPG >one of their moms dies from cancer, has a mildly abusive dad with temper >go to funeral, first time I've seen this friend since I moved >he's really sad but handling it well, we talk about RuneScape and I tell him I can help level his skills >he gives me his password >I steal all of his valuable stuff, change the password, and sell his account to one of my friends at my new school for $5 >never talked to the old friend again Mfw I realize I was a sociopath as a child

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That's a ten out of ten pick-up line. | /r/Greentext

03/05/22(Sat) 19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'll be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes for me boys. 76 KB JPG Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat) 19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 # : Anonymous BURGER KING
03/05/22(Sat) 19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'll be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes for me boys. 76 KB JPG Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat) 19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 # : Anonymous BURGER KING

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anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

06/13/22(Mon)20:39:50 No.26685058 : Anonymous 27 KB JPG >mfw Should I unironically just kms? >be me at work >girl gives me her number >we talk for a little bit >texts me the next day and tells me "not to give up and that one day I'll find a girl who appreciates me because I'm sweet"
06/13/22(Mon)20:39:50 No.26685058 : Anonymous 27 KB JPG >mfw Should I unironically just kms? >be me at work >girl gives me her number >we talk for a little bit >texts me the next day and tells me "not to give up and that one day I'll find a girl who appreciates me because I'm sweet"

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It never ends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous TCL CALL-DUTY BLACK OP COLDWAR THX 175 KB PNG product It's such a draining cycle 06/14/22(Tue)02:44:13 No.69033588 >buy expensive product >feel good about it >go to store a few days later >see products better and more expensive than the one you bought >feel sad >work hard to consume more
Anonymous TCL CALL-DUTY BLACK OP COLDWAR THX 175 KB PNG product It's such a draining cycle 06/14/22(Tue)02:44:13 No.69033588 >buy expensive product >feel good about it >go to store a few days later >see products better and more expensive than the one you bought >feel sad >work hard to consume more

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Anon tries to get into 40k. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Getting into 40k > Be me. > Magic: The Gathering player. > Move to a different town for uni. > Not a single Magic player exists here. > HOWEVER, there are a fuckton of sweaty 40k players here. 59 KB JPG > F--- IT. > Decide to give 40k a go. > Spend >$100 on paints, like 20 orks, brushes, primer, glue, etc. > Assemble all orks. Learn to paint properly, spend a lot of time on my orks the coming week. > Listen to 40k lore while painting. > Watch vids of how to play. > Get hyped to finally go to a FLGS on the regular again. > A week later: > I go to the nearest gamestore and try to play with someone. > Everyone is already midgame with hours left to go. > One guy is ready to play tho. > I go up to him and ask him to play. > Tell him I've got like 20 boyz ready. > Show them. He compliments my painting, he especially liked the facial details I managed to paint. >:D > Mf then turns, looks me dead in the eyes, and goes: > "Hey anon if you wanna play 40k you're gonna need bigger orks to control the smaller ork squadrons, and a huge one to control the bigger orks. Also you should get more orks so that you reach 500p so we can have a skirmish battle." > Mfw I need to spend at least $100 more to even try the game and see if I like it. > I leave. Bro I just wanna play Magic even harder now. 06/14/22(Tue)01:30:49 No.69033129
: Anonymous Getting into 40k > Be me. > Magic: The Gathering player. > Move to a different town for uni. > Not a single Magic player exists here. > HOWEVER, there are a fuckton of sweaty 40k players here. 59 KB JPG > F--- IT. > Decide to give 40k a go. > Spend >$100 on paints, like 20 orks, brushes, primer, glue, etc. > Assemble all orks. Learn to paint properly, spend a lot of time on my orks the coming week. > Listen to 40k lore while painting. > Watch vids of how to play. > Get hyped to finally go to a FLGS on the regular again. > A week later: > I go to the nearest gamestore and try to play with someone. > Everyone is already midgame with hours left to go. > One guy is ready to play tho. > I go up to him and ask him to play. > Tell him I've got like 20 boyz ready. > Show them. He compliments my painting, he especially liked the facial details I managed to paint. >:D > Mf then turns, looks me dead in the eyes, and goes: > "Hey anon if you wanna play 40k you're gonna need bigger orks to control the smaller ork squadrons, and a huge one to control the bigger orks. Also you should get more orks so that you reach 500p so we can have a skirmish battle." > Mfw I need to spend at least $100 more to even try the game and see if I like it. > I leave. Bro I just wanna play Magic even harder now. 06/14/22(Tue)01:30:49 No.69033129

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Anon needs a statue | /r/Greentext

Screenshot_20220605-225654_Google.jpg 626 KB JPG >be me >drunk and horny >try to go to pornhub >keep typing it wrong >google be's a bitch and wont auto correct since p--- >somehow find pic related >most beautiful body I have ever seen but complete butter face >bust a decent nut Where can I buy this statue? I want to c-- on it.
Screenshot_20220605-225654_Google.jpg 626 KB JPG >be me >drunk and horny >try to go to pornhub >keep typing it wrong >google be's a bitch and wont auto correct since p--- >somehow find pic related >most beautiful body I have ever seen but complete butter face >bust a decent nut Where can I buy this statue? I want to c-- on it.

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Anon is about to tard rage | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: +HSrPhs8) BATTLESHIP >Be 17 >Miss 87 KB JPG 02/27/13(Wed)17:34:30 No.461742905
Anonymous (ID: +HSrPhs8) BATTLESHIP >Be 17 >Miss 87 KB JPG 02/27/13(Wed)17:34:30 No.461742905

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Anon becomes a Muslim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)15:18:07 No.62780438 >be me >Get VR headset >Download VR chat >Get a counter strike terrorist avatar >Go in furry and weeb servers and LARP as a Muslim/Jihadist 184 KB PNG >Get called out a couple of times for not being a Muslim >Watch some videos on islam, learn a bit of basic arabic, listen to Muslim music >Also read Koran so I could recite various passages >Pretty good read >My jihad larping abilities improve quite a bit >Eventually visit a local mosque >People there are very welcoming, expirence was quite calming and I felt very good afterwards >Want to go back again this weekend What's going on guys. My parents aren't religious and I've been an atheist my whole life. What do I do? لا إله إلا الله
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)15:18:07 No.62780438 >be me >Get VR headset >Download VR chat >Get a counter strike terrorist avatar >Go in furry and weeb servers and LARP as a Muslim/Jihadist 184 KB PNG >Get called out a couple of times for not being a Muslim >Watch some videos on islam, learn a bit of basic arabic, listen to Muslim music >Also read Koran so I could recite various passages >Pretty good read >My jihad larping abilities improve quite a bit >Eventually visit a local mosque >People there are very welcoming, expirence was quite calming and I felt very good afterwards >Want to go back again this weekend What's going on guys. My parents aren't religious and I've been an atheist my whole life. What do I do? لا إله إلا الله

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White people jokes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: gB4DnzwT /POL/ BTFO!!!!!!!!!! !!!(...) 08/14/16(Sun)04:53:43 No.85187695 I wish white people took jokes as well as they take lives, land and cultures. tukua mai.png 67 KB PNG How can whites EVER recover? : Anonymous (ID: jhvJzd5Y I wish blacks took jokes as well as they take bullets. >>85188793 # >>85189113 # >>85189200 # 08/14/16(Sun)05:04:36 No.85188623
: Anonymous (ID: gB4DnzwT /POL/ BTFO!!!!!!!!!! !!!(...) 08/14/16(Sun)04:53:43 No.85187695 I wish white people took jokes as well as they take lives, land and cultures. tukua mai.png 67 KB PNG How can whites EVER recover? : Anonymous (ID: jhvJzd5Y I wish blacks took jokes as well as they take bullets. >>85188793 # >>85189113 # >>85189200 # 08/14/16(Sun)05:04:36 No.85188623

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Anon was so close | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F--- you god 23 KB JPG abomination. 06/12/22(Sun)23:20:14 No.69022352 >hairless, smooth skin >effeminate physique >feminine face >6ft4 Why?!?! I could have had the perfect femboy physique if I was 5ft8 but you made me an
: Anonymous F--- you god 23 KB JPG abomination. 06/12/22(Sun)23:20:14 No.69022352 >hairless, smooth skin >effeminate physique >feminine face >6ft4 Why?!?! I could have had the perfect femboy physique if I was 5ft8 but you made me an

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Anon is banned | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: /DgTRDG0 >banned from Facebook >banned from Twitter >banned from Youtube >banned from OSRS, CSGO, many TF2 servers 40 KB JPG >banned from practically any vidya with any moderation at all, never once for micspam, ALWAYS for wrongthink "toxicity" >dozens of 3 day bans from 4chan >community admins always peering through past comments to find an offense to "punish", simply because they don't like me Real talk. Where can a gamer go to enjoy some based fun without being hounded by the thoughtpolice 24/7? 06/13/22(Mon)10:22:29 No.382180967
Anonymous (ID: /DgTRDG0 >banned from Facebook >banned from Twitter >banned from Youtube >banned from OSRS, CSGO, many TF2 servers 40 KB JPG >banned from practically any vidya with any moderation at all, never once for micspam, ALWAYS for wrongthink "toxicity" >dozens of 3 day bans from 4chan >community admins always peering through past comments to find an offense to "punish", simply because they don't like me Real talk. Where can a gamer go to enjoy some based fun without being hounded by the thoughtpolice 24/7? 06/13/22(Mon)10:22:29 No.382180967

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ah yes yes ah ah | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 22 minutes ago 773592874 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) >be me >have half j-- friend >try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime >calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads. 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES
Anonymous 22 minutes ago 773592874 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) >be me >have half j-- friend >try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime >calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads. 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES

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Anon fingers himself | /r/Greentext

05/17/22(Tue)08:27:40 No.68662744 How do I break a finger as painlessly as possible? Called in sick to work, boss asked why and my autism kicked in and I said I broke my finger. 24 KB PNG Have decided on right pinky. Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)08:28:59 No.68662755 >>68662744 (OP) Just put it in a cast/brace without breaking it dumbass No, actually on second thought go slam your finger in a door hinge. Sage. Anonymous
05/17/22(Tue)08:27:40 No.68662744 How do I break a finger as painlessly as possible? Called in sick to work, boss asked why and my autism kicked in and I said I broke my finger. 24 KB PNG Have decided on right pinky. Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)08:28:59 No.68662755 >>68662744 (OP) Just put it in a cast/brace without breaking it dumbass No, actually on second thought go slam your finger in a door hinge. Sage. Anonymous

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Wholesome Xmas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)19:31 26 No.435670409 > be me > 17 when rock band came out > read about rock band online every day 39 KB JPG > watch rock band videos every day > too old for xmas but really want rock band > brother has a ps3 but it's in his room > no other consoles in the house > he agrees to let me use his ps3 in his room if I were to get it for xmas > fast forward xmas eve > beg mom to let me open one gift early it's rock band for 360 > I'm so depressed because it means I won't be playing rock band on xmas after all > "I got it for the wrong system? Aww. I'm sorry anon. Here. You can open one more." > it's my very own 360 was best xmas ever >>435670583 # >>435673117 # >>435673494 # >>435677913 # >>435681208 #
: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)19:31 26 No.435670409 > be me > 17 when rock band came out > read about rock band online every day 39 KB JPG > watch rock band videos every day > too old for xmas but really want rock band > brother has a ps3 but it's in his room > no other consoles in the house > he agrees to let me use his ps3 in his room if I were to get it for xmas > fast forward xmas eve > beg mom to let me open one gift early it's rock band for 360 > I'm so depressed because it means I won't be playing rock band on xmas after all > "I got it for the wrong system? Aww. I'm sorry anon. Here. You can open one more." > it's my very own 360 was best xmas ever >>435670583 # >>435673117 # >>435673494 # >>435677913 # >>435681208 #

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