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Anon writes a greentext. | /r/Greentext

06/16/18(Sat)22:53:06 No.771737312 >/b/ me >write incredibly long greentext about the sad story of my relationship with my gf and our breakup >go to post it >remember i haven't linked a picture >put this stupid picture of this fish in a : Anonymous 200 KB JPG mousetrap >file was too big >lost the story Kms
06/16/18(Sat)22:53:06 No.771737312 >/b/ me >write incredibly long greentext about the sad story of my relationship with my gf and our breakup >go to post it >remember i haven't linked a picture >put this stupid picture of this fish in a : Anonymous 200 KB JPG mousetrap >file was too big >lost the story Kms

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Anon feels betrayed | /r/Greentext

>see 4chan users praising how this site is "not against free speech like other social media" solely because they can write slurs like "f-----" and "t-----" 260 KB JPG >Make a post saying to worship badass strong feminine looking male characters like Ash Crimson from KOF instead of uwu delicated femboys like the norm >post gets deleted in less than an hour You m------------ lied to me, this ain't free speech lemme talk about my fighting game characters Anonymous >>880178726 (OP) # You got your hour of fame, don't ask for more FATAL FURY 06/15/22(Wed)12:44:45 No.880178753
>see 4chan users praising how this site is "not against free speech like other social media" solely because they can write slurs like "f-----" and "t-----" 260 KB JPG >Make a post saying to worship badass strong feminine looking male characters like Ash Crimson from KOF instead of uwu delicated femboys like the norm >post gets deleted in less than an hour You m------------ lied to me, this ain't free speech lemme talk about my fighting game characters Anonymous >>880178726 (OP) # You got your hour of fame, don't ask for more FATAL FURY 06/15/22(Wed)12:44:45 No.880178753

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Anon likes oreos | /r/Greentext

06/15/22(Wed)09:22:05 No.69052441 = Screenshot_20220614-221322_Chrome.jpg 196 KB JPG >be me >want oreos >no money >post address on craigs list >tell people they can come to my apartment and do whatever as long as they bring oreos >like 10 guys show up within an hour >an o--- breaks out I got doublestuffed : Anonymous
06/15/22(Wed)09:22:05 No.69052441 = Screenshot_20220614-221322_Chrome.jpg 196 KB JPG >be me >want oreos >no money >post address on craigs list >tell people they can come to my apartment and do whatever as long as they bring oreos >like 10 guys show up within an hour >an o--- breaks out I got doublestuffed : Anonymous

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Exactly what would happen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)16:24:45 No.880148023 >be me >have ability to brings anyone who's ever lived back to life WHAT HAVE I DONE? >resurrect Isaac Newton >spend a whole week catching him on society and technology 401 KB JPG >let him live in my guest room >give him computer to work on >tell him humanity needs him >just interact with him to ask him to fix problems, encourage him to publish any findings to the world also to feed him >ffw 2 years >still nothing on news on any breakthroughs >thought he was working on a huge project >turns out he was just jerking off to gay p--- and playing Valorant >bwaun moment >pic related
Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)16:24:45 No.880148023 >be me >have ability to brings anyone who's ever lived back to life WHAT HAVE I DONE? >resurrect Isaac Newton >spend a whole week catching him on society and technology 401 KB JPG >let him live in my guest room >give him computer to work on >tell him humanity needs him >just interact with him to ask him to fix problems, encourage him to publish any findings to the world also to feed him >ffw 2 years >still nothing on news on any breakthroughs >thought he was working on a huge project >turns out he was just jerking off to gay p--- and playing Valorant >bwaun moment >pic related

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Valentine's Day | /r/Greentext

TMXTH No.749218743 20 minutes ago JPG 14.3 KiB 395x372 Wanted to share something with you /b/ >Be me 21, very poor and broke at Uni. >Has a rich qt as gf. >She loves me, never asks for gifts. >just my company and me helping her in studies. >Life is good. >Valentines week comes and GF not even once mentions about it. >Still.. I love her and wants to impress her. >I collect all my savings and finally have enough bucks to buy something. Go to the mall. >Everything is so expensive. >Everything is out of reach. >Luckily finds a nice perfume, because she loves perfumes. >hoping she would like. >Spends the rest of money on nice gift wrap. >Left with no money even for the public transport. >Doesn't matter cuz in love. >Walks 3 miles to home. The V-Day comes. >We both chillin in my room. >I show her the gift. >She gets really excited. >Opens it up, in a hurry. >Me scared if she will like it. >She really loves it. >Hellyeah.jpeg >Starts jumping around with tears in her eyes. >Hugs me tight, >Kisses me. >We both cry, Alot! >That gift was only worth 25$ and it meant the world to her. >I would never let her go lads. >I love her. Peace 2 replies
TMXTH No.749218743 20 minutes ago JPG 14.3 KiB 395x372 Wanted to share something with you /b/ >Be me 21, very poor and broke at Uni. >Has a rich qt as gf. >She loves me, never asks for gifts. >just my company and me helping her in studies. >Life is good. >Valentines week comes and GF not even once mentions about it. >Still.. I love her and wants to impress her. >I collect all my savings and finally have enough bucks to buy something. Go to the mall. >Everything is so expensive. >Everything is out of reach. >Luckily finds a nice perfume, because she loves perfumes. >hoping she would like. >Spends the rest of money on nice gift wrap. >Left with no money even for the public transport. >Doesn't matter cuz in love. >Walks 3 miles to home. The V-Day comes. >We both chillin in my room. >I show her the gift. >She gets really excited. >Opens it up, in a hurry. >Me scared if she will like it. >She really loves it. >Hellyeah.jpeg >Starts jumping around with tears in her eyes. >Hugs me tight, >Kisses me. >We both cry, Alot! >That gift was only worth 25$ and it meant the world to her. >I would never let her go lads. >I love her. Peace 2 replies

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Anon hides his money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:38:58 No.805356843 What is the best way to hide cash ? please be serious. Don't say up my ass. Give me genius tier ideas. I don't like keeping everything in bank. 128 KB JPG And don't say obvious things like under the bed, in a shoe box. : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue) 18:40:06 No.805356891 (OP) # >>805356843 Up your ass : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:13 No.805356894 >>805356843 (OP) # Up my ass : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:22 No.805356902 >>805356843 (OP) # Hide it under your bed then shove the entire bed up your ass
: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:38:58 No.805356843 What is the best way to hide cash ? please be serious. Don't say up my ass. Give me genius tier ideas. I don't like keeping everything in bank. 128 KB JPG And don't say obvious things like under the bed, in a shoe box. : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue) 18:40:06 No.805356891 (OP) # >>805356843 Up your ass : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:13 No.805356894 >>805356843 (OP) # Up my ass : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:22 No.805356902 >>805356843 (OP) # Hide it under your bed then shove the entire bed up your ass

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Clear and present danger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Guys am I in trouble? 06/14/22(Tue)19:27:50 No.69046266 >be me >in communications class in college >task is to create a 5 minute presentation on anything you want 257 KB PNG >everyone chose normal subjects like sports, fitness, their pet >I tried to be funny by making a presentation titled "how to do a 5 minute presentation" >plugged in USB and started >intentionally linked a broken video, asked the teacher for help, said never mind I'll continue >revealed the first step being "1. link a broken video" >fiddled with the remote for 10 seconds then flipped the slide to "2. pretend the remote isn't working" >dropped it slide 3 "3. drop the remote" >not a single person laughed in the entire room and I started feeling super awkward, tried to continue >teacher told me to sit down and I'm wasting everyone's time and if I didn't actually prepare anything I should've said so >awkward silence until the next person went up >teacher emailed me to meet with the counselor tomorrow about this what the f--- bros this seemed funny in my mind but in execution it was absolutely terrible am i retarded or some s--- what's the most amount of trouble i can get in for this s---
: Anonymous Guys am I in trouble? 06/14/22(Tue)19:27:50 No.69046266 >be me >in communications class in college >task is to create a 5 minute presentation on anything you want 257 KB PNG >everyone chose normal subjects like sports, fitness, their pet >I tried to be funny by making a presentation titled "how to do a 5 minute presentation" >plugged in USB and started >intentionally linked a broken video, asked the teacher for help, said never mind I'll continue >revealed the first step being "1. link a broken video" >fiddled with the remote for 10 seconds then flipped the slide to "2. pretend the remote isn't working" >dropped it slide 3 "3. drop the remote" >not a single person laughed in the entire room and I started feeling super awkward, tried to continue >teacher told me to sit down and I'm wasting everyone's time and if I didn't actually prepare anything I should've said so >awkward silence until the next person went up >teacher emailed me to meet with the counselor tomorrow about this what the f--- bros this seemed funny in my mind but in execution it was absolutely terrible am i retarded or some s--- what's the most amount of trouble i can get in for this s---

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anon wastes life | /r/Greentext

File: 1466327322537s.jpg (6 KB, 250x162) Engineering Anonymous 06/15/22 (Wed)09:20:05 No.69048904 ► >>69048933 >be me >engineer >known to fix problems >can't fix life
File: 1466327322537s.jpg (6 KB, 250x162) Engineering Anonymous 06/15/22 (Wed)09:20:05 No.69048904 ► >>69048933 >be me >engineer >known to fix problems >can't fix life

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Anon is a wagie | /r/Greentext

06/15/22(Wed)12:48:11 No.69051257 : Anonymous Wagie feels >be me, wagecuck >work dead end job with s----- (none) benefits >work really hard for over a year to hopefully get a promotion 164 KB JPG >bosstard doesnt care,salary is the same and he piles me with more work to reward my ambition >the office is full of lazy losers who dont put in effort and barely have the will to even get to work >suddenclarity.jpeg >turns out they know that no matter what you do here you will never elevate to better pay or working conditions >start being lazy and careless >basically come to work to drink coffee, s--- and fap in the office bathroom and scroll memes on my phone >no one f------ notices or cares >its been 2 years and im frankly getting paid to coom and be a lazy degenerate >ill take what i can get
06/15/22(Wed)12:48:11 No.69051257 : Anonymous Wagie feels >be me, wagecuck >work dead end job with s----- (none) benefits >work really hard for over a year to hopefully get a promotion 164 KB JPG >bosstard doesnt care,salary is the same and he piles me with more work to reward my ambition >the office is full of lazy losers who dont put in effort and barely have the will to even get to work >suddenclarity.jpeg >turns out they know that no matter what you do here you will never elevate to better pay or working conditions >start being lazy and careless >basically come to work to drink coffee, s--- and fap in the office bathroom and scroll memes on my phone >no one f------ notices or cares >its been 2 years and im frankly getting paid to coom and be a lazy degenerate >ill take what i can get

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anon won a pizza party! | /r/Greentext

06/15/22(Wed)03:57:05 No.69050534 Anonymous Pizza Party!! >be me >in elementary school >caprisun is doing promotion with schools. >Objective: collect empty caprisun pouches >notice kids are still throwing away their pouches in the trashcan >lightbulb.jpg 129 KB JPG >ask my fren if she wants to collect caprisuns by going thru trash with me >she agrees >we go through the trashcans outside during recess and start collecting a s--- ton >do this together for several weeks >results day rolls by >our class collected the most caprisuns! we won a pizza party! >PIZZAAA!!!
06/15/22(Wed)03:57:05 No.69050534 Anonymous Pizza Party!! >be me >in elementary school >caprisun is doing promotion with schools. >Objective: collect empty caprisun pouches >notice kids are still throwing away their pouches in the trashcan >lightbulb.jpg 129 KB JPG >ask my fren if she wants to collect caprisuns by going thru trash with me >she agrees >we go through the trashcans outside during recess and start collecting a s--- ton >do this together for several weeks >results day rolls by >our class collected the most caprisuns! we won a pizza party! >PIZZAAA!!!

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Anon's mom knows | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)02:41:30 No.65173498 >be f------ me >mom tells me about black mirror and recommends one episode >keeps talking about it and decide to watch it so she shuts the hell up >its about some coomer that gets blackmailed because he watched 38 KB JPG loli p--- >tell her it was cool >tells me it reminded her of me Anons what the f--- did she mean by that? What the f--- does she know?
Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)02:41:30 No.65173498 >be f------ me >mom tells me about black mirror and recommends one episode >keeps talking about it and decide to watch it so she shuts the hell up >its about some coomer that gets blackmailed because he watched 38 KB JPG loli p--- >tell her it was cool >tells me it reminded her of me Anons what the f--- did she mean by that? What the f--- does she know?

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The Alliance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >the rats have unionized 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 ss.jpg 60 KB JPG
: Anonymous >the rats have unionized 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 ss.jpg 60 KB JPG

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what do you mean WE!?!?! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # >>779218221 + >>7793219251 # 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248229 # >we 207 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # >>779218221 + >>7793219251 # 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248229 # >we 207 KB PNG

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AI is funnier than most users | /r/Greentext

Write a 4chan greentext >be me >drive to the gas station to get some gas >see a black guy walking around >i'm not racist but i'm a little scared >be black guy >walking around the gas station >see a white guy in a car >i'm not racist Submit ņ but i'm a little scared ≈ 76
Write a 4chan greentext >be me >drive to the gas station to get some gas >see a black guy walking around >i'm not racist but i'm a little scared >be black guy >walking around the gas station >see a white guy in a car >i'm not racist Submit ņ but i'm a little scared ≈ 76

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Reddit be like | /r/Greentext

>be me >20 and just got license >go on road trip across canada >end up in alaska 609 KB PNG >stop at tourist place that lets you rent gold pans and pan for gold in their river >they let you keep whatever you find >spend an hour and a half and get nothing >not a single speck >go back in and turn in the pan >owner asks me if I need a container for my gold, I tell him I didn't find anything >about to leave when an older gentleman who was out there with me taps my shoulder >"here son" >hands me small glass vial with a few tiny nuggets >smile at this nice gesture and leave slightly happier than when I arrived Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
>be me >20 and just got license >go on road trip across canada >end up in alaska 609 KB PNG >stop at tourist place that lets you rent gold pans and pan for gold in their river >they let you keep whatever you find >spend an hour and a half and get nothing >not a single speck >go back in and turn in the pan >owner asks me if I need a container for my gold, I tell him I didn't find anything >about to leave when an older gentleman who was out there with me taps my shoulder >"here son" >hands me small glass vial with a few tiny nuggets >smile at this nice gesture and leave slightly happier than when I arrived Thanks for the gold, kind stranger

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Anon likes bees | /r/Greentext

File: b11.png (134 KB, 794x668) Anonymous 06/14/22 (Tue)13:13:35 No.69038965 [Reply] > Be me > Have a crummy day > Go on balcony and see some bumbles collect nectar > Feel better Thanks bumbles
File: b11.png (134 KB, 794x668) Anonymous 06/14/22 (Tue)13:13:35 No.69038965 [Reply] > Be me > Have a crummy day > Go on balcony and see some bumbles collect nectar > Feel better Thanks bumbles

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anon kills a man | /r/Greentext


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Samson and Delilah | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue) 16:40:10 No.69044316 > 24 virgin > been growing my hair since I was 12. I used to just be the long haired dude at school > a couple weeks ago I decided to cut it short 26 KB JPG > started recieving female attention. I am meeting up with a girl from university tomorrow and she came to me to ask me out. Don't tell me guys that all this was due to my own idiocity. I even had a mgtow phase.
: Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue) 16:40:10 No.69044316 > 24 virgin > been growing my hair since I was 12. I used to just be the long haired dude at school > a couple weeks ago I decided to cut it short 26 KB JPG > started recieving female attention. I am meeting up with a girl from university tomorrow and she came to me to ask me out. Don't tell me guys that all this was due to my own idiocity. I even had a mgtow phase.

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last one i promise, but holy shit im beginning to worry that this is sentient | /r/Greentext

X eset, and a completion ontext or completes model. n sharing em to your more. ur models improve re. ta cuts off in ay not have ents. Playground Load a preset... write me a 4chan greentext >be me >glass blower >get a commission to make a bong >use some extra clear glass to make a little man inside the bong >have him hold a tiny sign that says "hi, I'm high" >deliver the bong >get a call a few days later >the guy who commissioned it says his girlfriend loves it, but she's a little worried about the man inside >tell him it's just a decoration and not to worry about it >get another call a few days later >the guy says his girlfriend is pregnant >he's worried that the bong man might be the father m ~ ✔ Opgrade Save 1/7 View Μοι Μοι te Ten Ma: Sta Ent Top Fre Pre
X eset, and a completion ontext or completes model. n sharing em to your more. ur models improve re. ta cuts off in ay not have ents. Playground Load a preset... write me a 4chan greentext >be me >glass blower >get a commission to make a bong >use some extra clear glass to make a little man inside the bong >have him hold a tiny sign that says "hi, I'm high" >deliver the bong >get a call a few days later >the guy who commissioned it says his girlfriend loves it, but she's a little worried about the man inside >tell him it's just a decoration and not to worry about it >get another call a few days later >the guy says his girlfriend is pregnant >he's worried that the bong man might be the father m ~ ✔ Opgrade Save 1/7 View Μοι Μοι te Ten Ma: Sta Ent Top Fre Pre

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

02/10/21 (Wed) 20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? View Thread 02/10/21 (Wed) 20:15:21 No.62270750 : Anonymous 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 8 KB PNG >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again
02/10/21 (Wed) 20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? View Thread 02/10/21 (Wed) 20:15:21 No.62270750 : Anonymous 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 8 KB PNG >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again

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