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Anon the mastermind | /r/Greentext

n File: 1721340920925315.jpg (51 KB, 704x396) >he says I owe him at $160 Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)13:18:26 No.78207491 [Reply] >>78207591 >>78207734 >my brother and sister-in-law go out of town for five days >up to me to babysit my niece >I tell my friend that I will pay him $200 if he watches her all five days >he agrees >after the fourth day, I fire him from the job and watch her on day 5 >he asks me when I'll pay him >I say never, because he didn't work all five days >that was my plan all along, get out of work and keep the money >I reply "No, because I never said I would pay you $40 per day, but that I would pay you $200 if you watched her all five days. Note the wording." >he threatens to sue me in civil court >I say okay Would I lose the case?
n File: 1721340920925315.jpg (51 KB, 704x396) >he says I owe him at $160 Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)13:18:26 No.78207491 [Reply] >>78207591 >>78207734 >my brother and sister-in-law go out of town for five days >up to me to babysit my niece >I tell my friend that I will pay him $200 if he watches her all five days >he agrees >after the fourth day, I fire him from the job and watch her on day 5 >he asks me when I'll pay him >I say never, because he didn't work all five days >that was my plan all along, get out of work and keep the money >I reply "No, because I never said I would pay you $40 per day, but that I would pay you $200 if you watched her all five days. Note the wording." >he threatens to sue me in civil court >I say okay Would I lose the case?

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Paul Bunny-nyan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 54 KB JPG 07/12/22(Tue)12:46:55 No.881902 >be me >work at a paul bunyan musuem >one day a group of college age kids walk in >one's a femboy and has f------ bunny ears on and a weird paul bunyan cosplay on >his friends kept calling him paul bunny-nyan >all laughed as he took pics with the statues and other artifacts >girl kept making jokes about wanting to peg him dressed as babe the big blue ox >week later just her dressed as babe and him dressed as "bunny-nyan" return >Had to clean c-- off the bathroom stalls Why are people like this? I just wanted to work at someplace cool but this isn't even the first time people have gone here specifically to have sex. It's suprisingly common and some of my co-workers encourage it for some reason, making jokes to visitors about paul's "wood". It's a disgrace to american cultural history to let this be sexualized. Anonymous 07/12/22(Tue)13:10:40 No.881904289 Bathroom stalls should be designed to specifically have enough space for only one person and no more including a roof for the stalls with a low ceiling so dumb f------ kids don't f--- in the stalls
Anonymous 54 KB JPG 07/12/22(Tue)12:46:55 No.881902 >be me >work at a paul bunyan musuem >one day a group of college age kids walk in >one's a femboy and has f------ bunny ears on and a weird paul bunyan cosplay on >his friends kept calling him paul bunny-nyan >all laughed as he took pics with the statues and other artifacts >girl kept making jokes about wanting to peg him dressed as babe the big blue ox >week later just her dressed as babe and him dressed as "bunny-nyan" return >Had to clean c-- off the bathroom stalls Why are people like this? I just wanted to work at someplace cool but this isn't even the first time people have gone here specifically to have sex. It's suprisingly common and some of my co-workers encourage it for some reason, making jokes to visitors about paul's "wood". It's a disgrace to american cultural history to let this be sexualized. Anonymous 07/12/22(Tue)13:10:40 No.881904289 Bathroom stalls should be designed to specifically have enough space for only one person and no more including a roof for the stalls with a low ceiling so dumb f------ kids don't f--- in the stalls

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Anon relives the glory days | /r/Greentext

>be me >on discord with the people that ghosted me >having the best time of my life >wakes up >mfw
>be me >on discord with the people that ghosted me >having the best time of my life >wakes up >mfw

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You're right, sir, but this is America | /r/Greentext

Pizza delivery man runs into burning home to save 5 children, jumps from second floor holding child The mayor and the Police Department hailed Nicholas Bostic's heroic actions and expressed gratitude for his selflessness 2822-87-11 08:36 16-8488 AXON BODY 3 X6839CJBR LAFAYETTE POLICE DEPARTMENT By Sethuraman S July 18, 2022 Untitled.png Share On f 708 KB PNG >Save 5 children from a burning building >Get injured in the process of being a hero >Needs to start a go fund me for the medical bills
Pizza delivery man runs into burning home to save 5 children, jumps from second floor holding child The mayor and the Police Department hailed Nicholas Bostic's heroic actions and expressed gratitude for his selflessness 2822-87-11 08:36 16-8488 AXON BODY 3 X6839CJBR LAFAYETTE POLICE DEPARTMENT By Sethuraman S July 18, 2022 Untitled.png Share On f 708 KB PNG >Save 5 children from a burning building >Get injured in the process of being a hero >Needs to start a go fund me for the medical bills

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Memories of an old fren | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/24(Sat)00:29:20 No.78210908 1704702905072734.jpg 41 KB JPG 03-59 >be me >just wasting my friday >suddenly remember a post a few months ago from an anon with terminal cancer that had a few months to live >remember he might not be with us anymore if he wasn't larping >start crying any other crybabies on this board
Anonymous 07/20/24(Sat)00:29:20 No.78210908 1704702905072734.jpg 41 KB JPG 03-59 >be me >just wasting my friday >suddenly remember a post a few months ago from an anon with terminal cancer that had a few months to live >remember he might not be with us anymore if he wasn't larping >start crying any other crybabies on this board

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Tardy Prices | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Every Driving job ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/19/24(Fri)16:34:36 No.78209774 on 576 KB PNG prime First day of training on the job >Its okay to be late guys, better late than dead Two months into probation >Anon, you are late on too many of your deliveries. You will have to improve that or we will consider disciplinary action. Every single f------ time.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Every Driving job ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/19/24(Fri)16:34:36 No.78209774 on 576 KB PNG prime First day of training on the job >Its okay to be late guys, better late than dead Two months into probation >Anon, you are late on too many of your deliveries. You will have to improve that or we will consider disciplinary action. Every single f------ time.

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Bro ate too much kebab | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/16/24(Tue)15:50:44 No.20678782 Man who called 999 after 'eating too much kebab' among 'most inappropriate calls' Paramedics revealed they received around 188 non-emergency calls a day last year By MATT JACKSON 01:16, Wed, Jan 24, 2024 | UPDATED: 01:16, Wed, Jan 24, 2024 >>20681893 # in BOOKMARK ☐ 17 Anonymous >>20678782 # 07/17/24(Wed)18:19:02 No.20681893 i like to imagine he dialed them while on the toilet >sir what's your emergency >oi i had a... ugh... *fart* dodgy kebab mate... *louder fart* too many... *KAPLOOSH* hrrrgghhh *loudest fart* oi the babys commin lassie *BOOM* *SPLASH* i'm gonna need some help here *keeps farting* >operator hangs up
Anonymous 07/16/24(Tue)15:50:44 No.20678782 Man who called 999 after 'eating too much kebab' among 'most inappropriate calls' Paramedics revealed they received around 188 non-emergency calls a day last year By MATT JACKSON 01:16, Wed, Jan 24, 2024 | UPDATED: 01:16, Wed, Jan 24, 2024 >>20681893 # in BOOKMARK ☐ 17 Anonymous >>20678782 # 07/17/24(Wed)18:19:02 No.20681893 i like to imagine he dialed them while on the toilet >sir what's your emergency >oi i had a... ugh... *fart* dodgy kebab mate... *louder fart* too many... *KAPLOOSH* hrrrgghhh *loudest fart* oi the babys commin lassie *BOOM* *SPLASH* i'm gonna need some help here *keeps farting* >operator hangs up

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Anon is a troll | /r/Greentext

Grindr >be me >straight >bored and curious one day so I download grindr >immediately start getting messages with my profile blank >decide to troll and lead gay guys on >go onto gay p--- page and steal a photo of some dude lifting his shirt exposing his 6 pack >make it my profile pic >get a bunch of guys messaging me >I take pictures of guys asses off the internet and send them out pretending its mine >I get them to send me pictures of their cocks in return >everytime a guy sends one I tell him I prefer bigger and that i'm no longer interested >one guy wants to go on a date instead of just f------ right away >tell him that i'll be at the nearby coffee/ breakfast shop at 9am sunday morning >never show up >he messages me asking why I ghosted him and I say I found a new guy Why are gay people so gullible? I don't know why I enjoy trolling them so much, but it's like guys are so horny that they become legally retarded.
Grindr >be me >straight >bored and curious one day so I download grindr >immediately start getting messages with my profile blank >decide to troll and lead gay guys on >go onto gay p--- page and steal a photo of some dude lifting his shirt exposing his 6 pack >make it my profile pic >get a bunch of guys messaging me >I take pictures of guys asses off the internet and send them out pretending its mine >I get them to send me pictures of their cocks in return >everytime a guy sends one I tell him I prefer bigger and that i'm no longer interested >one guy wants to go on a date instead of just f------ right away >tell him that i'll be at the nearby coffee/ breakfast shop at 9am sunday morning >never show up >he messages me asking why I ghosted him and I say I found a new guy Why are gay people so gullible? I don't know why I enjoy trolling them so much, but it's like guys are so horny that they become legally retarded.

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Unconditional Lover | /r/Greentext

07/19/24(Fri)16:41:48 No.921584031 Anonymous >Walk into gay bar >See brother >leave 618 KB PNG
07/19/24(Fri)16:41:48 No.921584031 Anonymous >Walk into gay bar >See brother >leave 618 KB PNG

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Electric Boogaloo | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/19/24(Fri)16:56:59 No.78209993 BLOODBORNE PATHOG >Get a job as bus company 271 KB PNG >Have to ban people with E-scooters/bikes. >reason being is that the battery might explode >That has never happened before on a bus but whatever. Also bus company: >We want an all electric fleet by 2030 Are they retarded?
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/19/24(Fri)16:56:59 No.78209993 BLOODBORNE PATHOG >Get a job as bus company 271 KB PNG >Have to ban people with E-scooters/bikes. >reason being is that the battery might explode >That has never happened before on a bus but whatever. Also bus company: >We want an all electric fleet by 2030 Are they retarded?

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Hell Hills | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: NU10ZwhT) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/19/24(Fri)14:30:10 No.474858435 Jabeel 333 KB PNG >Be Gyppos >Drop you baby out of window >Social services arrive ("CPS" USA english) >Take the children away due to abusive living conditions >Notify other gyppos >They all take your side >Destroy your own neighbourhood >Burn down a bus >Only mode of transport gone >Still don't get your kids back They really are stupider than American n------. The KKK needs to owe them an apology. KNEZARO
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: NU10ZwhT) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/19/24(Fri)14:30:10 No.474858435 Jabeel 333 KB PNG >Be Gyppos >Drop you baby out of window >Social services arrive ("CPS" USA english) >Take the children away due to abusive living conditions >Notify other gyppos >They all take your side >Destroy your own neighbourhood >Burn down a bus >Only mode of transport gone >Still don't get your kids back They really are stupider than American n------. The KKK needs to owe them an apology. KNEZARO

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How to pick up your co-workers | /r/Greentext

File: 15.jpg (154 KB, 1400x700) "That's almost twice me." Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)14:11:58 No.74735248 >>74735262 >>74735272 >>74735313 >>74736041 >>>74736447 >>74736464 >>74736545 >be me, at work on monday >everyone talking about how their weekend was, it seems like I'm the only one who didn't do anything special >I was just at the gym >finally bench pressed 225 tho >the 5'6 manlet I work with gets wide-eyed, staring at me >I do some quick math very slowly because I'm f------ stupid "Wait so you're like 113 lbs or something?" *130. Almost 130. Like 125 or so." >try my best not to laugh, but agree that I could probably pick him up really easy >this dude's face f------ lights up with joy like a little kid on christmas morning >no choice but to go through with it >s--- this guy is f------ nothing, like picking up a puppy >he gasps while going up, a legit f------ faint shivery breathy little hentai girl gasp >do my best to ignore the fact that I am instantly rock f------ hard >almost loses his balance when I put him back down, has to grab me for support >he's got tiny cold hands like a raccoon "Sorry I get lightheaded real easy." "You gotta eat more." >guy looks at me with that starry eyed look again >I could probably fit my whole d--- in his mouth >>get so f------ confused that I excuse myself to the bathroom to furiously j------- to clear my head >post-nut clarity gods have forsaken me, still confused as f--- >been avoiding him at work the best I can all week Brothers what the f--- do I do with this. Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)14:15:01 No.74735262 >>74735248 (OP) F----- Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)14:17:41 No.74735272 >>74735248 (OP) Is he cute? >>74735987
File: 15.jpg (154 KB, 1400x700) "That's almost twice me." Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)14:11:58 No.74735248 >>74735262 >>74735272 >>74735313 >>74736041 >>>74736447 >>74736464 >>74736545 >be me, at work on monday >everyone talking about how their weekend was, it seems like I'm the only one who didn't do anything special >I was just at the gym >finally bench pressed 225 tho >the 5'6 manlet I work with gets wide-eyed, staring at me >I do some quick math very slowly because I'm f------ stupid "Wait so you're like 113 lbs or something?" *130. Almost 130. Like 125 or so." >try my best not to laugh, but agree that I could probably pick him up really easy >this dude's face f------ lights up with joy like a little kid on christmas morning >no choice but to go through with it >s--- this guy is f------ nothing, like picking up a puppy >he gasps while going up, a legit f------ faint shivery breathy little hentai girl gasp >do my best to ignore the fact that I am instantly rock f------ hard >almost loses his balance when I put him back down, has to grab me for support >he's got tiny cold hands like a raccoon "Sorry I get lightheaded real easy." "You gotta eat more." >guy looks at me with that starry eyed look again >I could probably fit my whole d--- in his mouth >>get so f------ confused that I excuse myself to the bathroom to furiously j------- to clear my head >post-nut clarity gods have forsaken me, still confused as f--- >been avoiding him at work the best I can all week Brothers what the f--- do I do with this. Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)14:15:01 No.74735262 >>74735248 (OP) F----- Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)14:17:41 No.74735272 >>74735248 (OP) Is he cute? >>74735987

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How did they do it? | /r/Greentext

Gross domestic product in billion U.S. dollars Source IMF Statista 2024 Anonymous (ID: nrmubu+V) > 07/19/24(Fri)17:03:01 No.474837423 30,000 25,000 20,000 15,000 10,000 5,000 0 Gross domestic product (GDP) at current prices in China from 1985 to 2023 with forecasts until 2029 (in billion U.S. dollars) 1985 1987 1989 1991 1993 1995 1997 1999 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 2017 2019 2021 2023 2025° 2027 2029° Additional Information: China; 1985 to 2023 1705113729614072.png 90 KB PNG >Communism doesn't work >But it's skyrocketed two shitholes into world leaders Explain
Gross domestic product in billion U.S. dollars Source IMF Statista 2024 Anonymous (ID: nrmubu+V) > 07/19/24(Fri)17:03:01 No.474837423 30,000 25,000 20,000 15,000 10,000 5,000 0 Gross domestic product (GDP) at current prices in China from 1985 to 2023 with forecasts until 2029 (in billion U.S. dollars) 1985 1987 1989 1991 1993 1995 1997 1999 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 2017 2019 2021 2023 2025° 2027 2029° Additional Information: China; 1985 to 2023 1705113729614072.png 90 KB PNG >Communism doesn't work >But it's skyrocketed two shitholes into world leaders Explain

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Familial connections | /r/Greentext

Krager 07/18/24(Thu)14:26:14 No.201418180 2ED51C9300000578-0-image-a-31_1448549770676.jpg 319 KB JPG >Daddy, I want to start in a big budget HBO show!!! >Sure thing pumpkin, just let me make a few calls... Life is unfair.
Krager 07/18/24(Thu)14:26:14 No.201418180 2ED51C9300000578-0-image-a-31_1448549770676.jpg 319 KB JPG >Daddy, I want to start in a big budget HBO show!!! >Sure thing pumpkin, just let me make a few calls... Life is unfair.

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Peak Pokemon. | /r/Greentext

1d (07/18/24 06:28) 56182231 · 16 Re - 6 Img JPG 1023KB (1200x1600) peak.jpg 5 Replies Cort Complete it's peak regirock thread REGIROCK PEAK POKÉMON 5'07" 507.1 lbs. e entirely of ro the others are welcome too I guess 1d (07/18/24 07:14) · 56182412 3 Replies >5'07 I MOG regirock 1d (07/18/24 07:15) · 56182417 5 Replies >>56182412 In weight too probably
1d (07/18/24 06:28) 56182231 · 16 Re - 6 Img JPG 1023KB (1200x1600) peak.jpg 5 Replies Cort Complete it's peak regirock thread REGIROCK PEAK POKÉMON 5'07" 507.1 lbs. e entirely of ro the others are welcome too I guess 1d (07/18/24 07:14) · 56182412 3 Replies >5'07 I MOG regirock 1d (07/18/24 07:15) · 56182417 5 Replies >>56182412 In weight too probably

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Anon did the math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I did the math 32 KB JPG 07/19/24(Fri)15:25:34 No.78205162 I'm cooked So here's the math. About 1% of women my age (rounding up because I like clean numbers) are virgins. Aka that's my dating pool.. but my dating pool is actually less. What I mean is of that 1%, I might be attracted to 10% of them and of those, 10% might be attracted back (well could be higher, but I'm lowballing). In other words .01% of all women would be a perfect match. How many women are there on earth? 3.95 Billion. .01% of 3.95Billion is 39.5Million woman. Wow, big number! Quite a few women that would be perfect! But no. The issue is it is calculated that we only meet around 80k people throughout our entire lives (and since I'm introverted, that number is much lower, but let's just stick to 80k). Of that 80k, maybe about 40% are women. Feels more like 20-30%, but whatever. Let's just stick to 40%. So in other words I'll meet about 30k women throughout my life. (30k/39.5M)*100= .076%. I have a .076% chance to meet the perfect woman when factoring in my entire lifespan. Throughout my life, women bave wanted me. Hotties too, BUT make NO exceptions. I ONLY would bother with a virgin. Insane to me how low my odds are. Oh well. I give up on love. For the best. : Anonymous >>78205162 (OP) # >30k 07/19/24(Fri)15:30:42 No.78205197 It was supposed to be 32k, but whatever. I'm sticking with 30k : Anonymous >>78205162 (OP) # 07/19/24(Fri)15:33:33 No.78205221 >incel finds out he has way too high standards nothing new >>78205229 #
Anonymous I did the math 32 KB JPG 07/19/24(Fri)15:25:34 No.78205162 I'm cooked So here's the math. About 1% of women my age (rounding up because I like clean numbers) are virgins. Aka that's my dating pool.. but my dating pool is actually less. What I mean is of that 1%, I might be attracted to 10% of them and of those, 10% might be attracted back (well could be higher, but I'm lowballing). In other words .01% of all women would be a perfect match. How many women are there on earth? 3.95 Billion. .01% of 3.95Billion is 39.5Million woman. Wow, big number! Quite a few women that would be perfect! But no. The issue is it is calculated that we only meet around 80k people throughout our entire lives (and since I'm introverted, that number is much lower, but let's just stick to 80k). Of that 80k, maybe about 40% are women. Feels more like 20-30%, but whatever. Let's just stick to 40%. So in other words I'll meet about 30k women throughout my life. (30k/39.5M)*100= .076%. I have a .076% chance to meet the perfect woman when factoring in my entire lifespan. Throughout my life, women bave wanted me. Hotties too, BUT make NO exceptions. I ONLY would bother with a virgin. Insane to me how low my odds are. Oh well. I give up on love. For the best. : Anonymous >>78205162 (OP) # >30k 07/19/24(Fri)15:30:42 No.78205197 It was supposed to be 32k, but whatever. I'm sticking with 30k : Anonymous >>78205162 (OP) # 07/19/24(Fri)15:33:33 No.78205221 >incel finds out he has way too high standards nothing new >>78205229 #

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Anon wished to not leave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous R*ddit FBI 121 KB JPG 05/14/23(Sun)18:17:28 No.73315805 >attempt to use R*ddit a year ago >get a bunch of karma and avatar costumes over the year >it's kinda fun but everyone just seems so uptight >find myself arguing with people online more often >they have the literal basementdweller takes on everything >as if their entire experience with the world is Reddit >it's almost like interacting with a bunch of autistic high school art kids >see a video of some a------ kid verbally abusing their teacher >post "this is why we need to beat kids again." >permanently banned >come back here >post some absolutely horrendous s--- >everyone here laughs or ignores it Why did I ever leave 4chan? I will never leave you guys again.
: Anonymous R*ddit FBI 121 KB JPG 05/14/23(Sun)18:17:28 No.73315805 >attempt to use R*ddit a year ago >get a bunch of karma and avatar costumes over the year >it's kinda fun but everyone just seems so uptight >find myself arguing with people online more often >they have the literal basementdweller takes on everything >as if their entire experience with the world is Reddit >it's almost like interacting with a bunch of autistic high school art kids >see a video of some a------ kid verbally abusing their teacher >post "this is why we need to beat kids again." >permanently banned >come back here >post some absolutely horrendous s--- >everyone here laughs or ignores it Why did I ever leave 4chan? I will never leave you guys again.

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Anon now loves history | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 165 KB JPG 02/28/19(Thu)13:22:26 No.793824259 True Story >Be me in middle school. >Around 10 or 11. >Assassin's Creed 2 comes out. >My favorite game growing up. >Always thought Ezio was the coolest since I was a social outcast that was bullied. >Wanted to be strong and cool like him. >Anyways, we're learning about European history in my history class. >My state holds an educational assessment for all students to take. >Playing Assassin's Creed and this game sparks my love for history. >Reading books, articles online, etc. >Just filling my head with all this info. >Day of the assessment and I'm breezing through it. >Month or two later and we get our results back. >Teacher tells the class, "Only one person got a perfect score on this test in the whole school." >Kids say, "Who? WHO?!" Teacher makes a long pause, looks at me, and says, "It's Anon." >Everybody in the class was shocked. >Where my love for history started. Thanks, Ezio.
Anonymous 165 KB JPG 02/28/19(Thu)13:22:26 No.793824259 True Story >Be me in middle school. >Around 10 or 11. >Assassin's Creed 2 comes out. >My favorite game growing up. >Always thought Ezio was the coolest since I was a social outcast that was bullied. >Wanted to be strong and cool like him. >Anyways, we're learning about European history in my history class. >My state holds an educational assessment for all students to take. >Playing Assassin's Creed and this game sparks my love for history. >Reading books, articles online, etc. >Just filling my head with all this info. >Day of the assessment and I'm breezing through it. >Month or two later and we get our results back. >Teacher tells the class, "Only one person got a perfect score on this test in the whole school." >Kids say, "Who? WHO?!" Teacher makes a long pause, looks at me, and says, "It's Anon." >Everybody in the class was shocked. >Where my love for history started. Thanks, Ezio.

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Beauty Queen's kino | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/12/24(Fri)05:02:21 No.201206648 jill.gif 3.64 MB GIF >incredibly pretty >doesn't get a spinoff movie What went wrong
Anonymous 07/12/24(Fri)05:02:21 No.201206648 jill.gif 3.64 MB GIF >incredibly pretty >doesn't get a spinoff movie What went wrong

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Desert Raid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)12:52:32 No.78053063 1719806456955344.jpg 36 KB JPG >spent the day walking around rome >girls smile at me and are nice and kind >people are kind everywhere >no one is rude like in america I don't ever want to go back to the s------- country.
: Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)12:52:32 No.78053063 1719806456955344.jpg 36 KB JPG >spent the day walking around rome >girls smile at me and are nice and kind >people are kind everywhere >no one is rude like in america I don't ever want to go back to the s------- country.

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