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anon feels unwell | /r/Greentext

>be me in college >drinking because friends birthday >friend brings in a pack of 6/10s to lighten up the mood >after drinking around like 8 shots of vodka one girl is starting to look like breeding material >as i start to approach the girl i start sweating profusely >i shrugged it off as the heat because our dorm room's AC was down for the day >just when i was about to flirt with her the vodka comes out the same way it came down >all of the girls and my friend look in shock as I throw up the New Amsterdam and the burrito that I had a few hours on her > all of the 6/10s scattered out of the dorm room > girl looked like she wanted to kill me and her self >timetogtfo.jpg
>be me in college >drinking because friends birthday >friend brings in a pack of 6/10s to lighten up the mood >after drinking around like 8 shots of vodka one girl is starting to look like breeding material >as i start to approach the girl i start sweating profusely >i shrugged it off as the heat because our dorm room's AC was down for the day >just when i was about to flirt with her the vodka comes out the same way it came down >all of the girls and my friend look in shock as I throw up the New Amsterdam and the burrito that I had a few hours on her > all of the 6/10s scattered out of the dorm room > girl looked like she wanted to kill me and her self >timetogtfo.jpg

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Anon's soulmate | /r/Greentext

No. 904650587 08/20/23(Sun)02:59:26 1659677289377481.jpg 62 KB 900x900 >be me >in Ukraine teaching English this summer >have a Ukie last name Khomyak >masculine term for 'hamster' >leaving Kyiv via bus to Germany >bus breaks down in Czechia >stranded with a Ukrainian girl who spoke English >she buys me a train ticket for last stretch of trip >feeds me when she learns I have no money >she tells me her name is the feminine word for hamster Khomenko i think my soulmate found me 4 replies, 2 images
No. 904650587 08/20/23(Sun)02:59:26 1659677289377481.jpg 62 KB 900x900 >be me >in Ukraine teaching English this summer >have a Ukie last name Khomyak >masculine term for 'hamster' >leaving Kyiv via bus to Germany >bus breaks down in Czechia >stranded with a Ukrainian girl who spoke English >she buys me a train ticket for last stretch of trip >feeds me when she learns I have no money >she tells me her name is the feminine word for hamster Khomenko i think my soulmate found me 4 replies, 2 images

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Rising Sun Enjoyer hates paying salaries | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 7mZap7Q9 108/20/23(Sun)08:07:55 No.438502769 File: 1604638085936 (1).jpg (43 KB, 751x282) File: Audrey Hepburn_screentest(...).jpg (35 KB, 399x528) Anonymous (ID: AhirCQ6b) 04/21/16(Thu)04:02:19 No.71589610 Should old films be remastered to include more people of colour? Anonymous (ID: (k/w2wp/N) 04/21/16(Thu)04:04:56 No.71589837 >>71593436 >>71593511 >>71593647 >>71593738 >>71594011 >>71594265 >>71594816 >>71599974 >>71600054 >>71600121 >>71600140 >>71600367 >>71600385 >>71600426 File: image.png (72 KB, 435x338) >>71589610 (OP) No, people of color should be remastered
Anonymous (ID: 7mZap7Q9 108/20/23(Sun)08:07:55 No.438502769 File: 1604638085936 (1).jpg (43 KB, 751x282) File: Audrey Hepburn_screentest(...).jpg (35 KB, 399x528) Anonymous (ID: AhirCQ6b) 04/21/16(Thu)04:02:19 No.71589610 Should old films be remastered to include more people of colour? Anonymous (ID: (k/w2wp/N) 04/21/16(Thu)04:04:56 No.71589837 >>71593436 >>71593511 >>71593647 >>71593738 >>71594011 >>71594265 >>71594816 >>71599974 >>71600054 >>71600121 >>71600140 >>71600367 >>71600385 >>71600426 File: image.png (72 KB, 435x338) >>71589610 (OP) No, people of color should be remastered

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Anon likes to piss off the Marines | /r/Greentext

Anonymous C 75 KB JPG 01/07/16(Thu)02:30:24 No.28460265 >mfw I purposely refer to Marines by the generic term "army" just to piss them off because they think they have special snowflake status
Anonymous C 75 KB JPG 01/07/16(Thu)02:30:24 No.28460265 >mfw I purposely refer to Marines by the generic term "army" just to piss them off because they think they have special snowflake status

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Anon tries to get their flip-flops | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 08/19/23(Sat)13:15:07 No.74439573 >be me >go to retrieve a pair of flip flops i left at a friend's place >hang out with friend and go to catch a tram home >go drinking instead >we get a beer each and hide away in a dingy alleyway >1 beer turns into 2 >tram is not coming >dont really wanna go home either >2 beers turn into a quick trip behind a corner to piss >realise i left my backpack Anonymous >go back >backpack is gone >i am upset >try to go home >next bus is at 4 am >sleep over at friend's place instead >wake up early and go to check the alley again >on the way, me and friend spot Columbo >the closest a human being can look to Columbo, his beige coat glowing brilliantly in the morning sun >arrive at alley and search >find a book i bought yesterday and my earbuds next to a wall 555 KB JPG >no bag, just the book and earbuds >confused, but happy to have them back >mfw i never brought back my flipflops 08/19/23(Sat)13:18:42 No.74439591 the contents of the backpack included an umbrella, my wallet with my id, a box of herring marinated in tomatoes and oil and of course, the flip flops. this is the book i bought btw
Anonymous 9 KB JPG 08/19/23(Sat)13:15:07 No.74439573 >be me >go to retrieve a pair of flip flops i left at a friend's place >hang out with friend and go to catch a tram home >go drinking instead >we get a beer each and hide away in a dingy alleyway >1 beer turns into 2 >tram is not coming >dont really wanna go home either >2 beers turn into a quick trip behind a corner to piss >realise i left my backpack Anonymous >go back >backpack is gone >i am upset >try to go home >next bus is at 4 am >sleep over at friend's place instead >wake up early and go to check the alley again >on the way, me and friend spot Columbo >the closest a human being can look to Columbo, his beige coat glowing brilliantly in the morning sun >arrive at alley and search >find a book i bought yesterday and my earbuds next to a wall 555 KB JPG >no bag, just the book and earbuds >confused, but happy to have them back >mfw i never brought back my flipflops 08/19/23(Sat)13:18:42 No.74439591 the contents of the backpack included an umbrella, my wallet with my id, a box of herring marinated in tomatoes and oil and of course, the flip flops. this is the book i bought btw

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Anon loses his hyper fixation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)19:00:56 No.74368136 IT'S JOEVER fetchimage (1).jpg 72 KB JPG > be me > bored > nothing feels appealing to do > nothing to watch on youtube > memes aren't funny > endless scrolling makes me sick > just lie in bed feeling s--- for the entire day Am I depressed or something? Genuine question. Because I don't feel sad, just numb.
: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)19:00:56 No.74368136 IT'S JOEVER fetchimage (1).jpg 72 KB JPG > be me > bored > nothing feels appealing to do > nothing to watch on youtube > memes aren't funny > endless scrolling makes me sick > just lie in bed feeling s--- for the entire day Am I depressed or something? Genuine question. Because I don't feel sad, just numb.

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anon wastes countless hours hoarding worthless shit | /r/Greentext

AL AVAVAVA U Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)15:37:38 No.647818537 >playing an RPG >heading to destination >see shiny herb off path >It's worth like .01 gold and makes a s--- potion I never use >already have thousands in my inventory >go and collect it anyway >every >single >time >I must have the shiny Can't tell if this is my autism or if I have Jewish ancestry
AL AVAVAVA U Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)15:37:38 No.647818537 >playing an RPG >heading to destination >see shiny herb off path >It's worth like .01 gold and makes a s--- potion I never use >already have thousands in my inventory >go and collect it anyway >every >single >time >I must have the shiny Can't tell if this is my autism or if I have Jewish ancestry

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Anon is pushed to the edge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)05:59:52 No.29602920 File: 1686675173661455.png (148 KB, 645x363) >be me >a week ago >doordashing to make ends meet >go up elevator >waiting >doors open >11/10 qt with amazing t---, cute face on the other side >she recoils at the sight of me >think about how I ruined her mood by being me >she was disgusted >I am less of a human than her >I am trying so hard to survive for people to look at me like this >blink >Im in the sporting goods section of a D---- walking towards guns >my phone is buzzing >Ive had an alert running for 40 minutes and I didnt even notice.
Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)05:59:52 No.29602920 File: 1686675173661455.png (148 KB, 645x363) >be me >a week ago >doordashing to make ends meet >go up elevator >waiting >doors open >11/10 qt with amazing t---, cute face on the other side >she recoils at the sight of me >think about how I ruined her mood by being me >she was disgusted >I am less of a human than her >I am trying so hard to survive for people to look at me like this >blink >Im in the sporting goods section of a D---- walking towards guns >my phone is buzzing >Ive had an alert running for 40 minutes and I didnt even notice.

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Anon loves Chuck E Cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cheesed to meet 61 KB JPG No.878577169 05/21/22(Sat)12:50:57 What's your opinion on Chuck E Cheese? >be me, talking to qtpi for a week >went on a lovely date at the zoo >plan to go to a concert by the river >texting till midnight the night before >she says she used to like Chuck E Cheese as a kid but not anymore >triggered.jpg >lay out all the reasons why CEC is the greatest arcade of all time >flash forward to concert >shesnothere.jpeg >ghosted, blocked, unmatched Why are women like this? Chuck E is an excellent arcade with great food and entertainment.
: Anonymous cheesed to meet 61 KB JPG No.878577169 05/21/22(Sat)12:50:57 What's your opinion on Chuck E Cheese? >be me, talking to qtpi for a week >went on a lovely date at the zoo >plan to go to a concert by the river >texting till midnight the night before >she says she used to like Chuck E Cheese as a kid but not anymore >triggered.jpg >lay out all the reasons why CEC is the greatest arcade of all time >flash forward to concert >shesnothere.jpeg >ghosted, blocked, unmatched Why are women like this? Chuck E is an excellent arcade with great food and entertainment.

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Anon and her mother's paranormal story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Reptile eyes/sideways blinking 08/19/23(Sat) 20:53:47 No.35655411 >2009 >family telling stories >mom tells this story about visiting her mother in the hospital >says she talked to a man at the front desk and noticed a woman sitting behind him >said she saw her blink sideways >mom disregards, thinks she imagined it >begins looking more closely at the woman >the woman makes eye contact with her >she does it again >mom says it was like she wanted her to know that yes in fact she had seen it 7 KB JPG >she started blinking normally after that >horrified her for years, she stood by her story and no one ever believed her >ffw 2023 >this lady freaks out on the plane after seeing man blink sideways Not gonna lie bros I never believed this s--- until this video came out. This was an awakening for me What are these things anyway?
: Anonymous Reptile eyes/sideways blinking 08/19/23(Sat) 20:53:47 No.35655411 >2009 >family telling stories >mom tells this story about visiting her mother in the hospital >says she talked to a man at the front desk and noticed a woman sitting behind him >said she saw her blink sideways >mom disregards, thinks she imagined it >begins looking more closely at the woman >the woman makes eye contact with her >she does it again >mom says it was like she wanted her to know that yes in fact she had seen it 7 KB JPG >she started blinking normally after that >horrified her for years, she stood by her story and no one ever believed her >ffw 2023 >this lady freaks out on the plane after seeing man blink sideways Not gonna lie bros I never believed this s--- until this video came out. This was an awakening for me What are these things anyway?

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Anon on the big brain Japanese writing systems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 40 KB PNG 08/16/23(Wed)17:10:20 No.74404362 >decided to make their own simplified one called Hiragana because they hated China >some buddhist monks thought it would be fun to make another system but this time it would be phonetic transcription like Latin called Katakana >ended up using all 3 of them in one sentence and no one can understand them beside weebs are they really the smartest people on earth? : Anonymous >be Japanese >didn't have any writing system >borrowed one from the neighbor China >what the f--- this Kanji thing was too hard 08/16/23(Wed)17:14:14 No.74404387 >make written language a cruel shitpost >highest literacy rates how
: Anonymous 40 KB PNG 08/16/23(Wed)17:10:20 No.74404362 >decided to make their own simplified one called Hiragana because they hated China >some buddhist monks thought it would be fun to make another system but this time it would be phonetic transcription like Latin called Katakana >ended up using all 3 of them in one sentence and no one can understand them beside weebs are they really the smartest people on earth? : Anonymous >be Japanese >didn't have any writing system >borrowed one from the neighbor China >what the f--- this Kanji thing was too hard 08/16/23(Wed)17:14:14 No.74404387 >make written language a cruel shitpost >highest literacy rates how

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Would this ackshually work? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 7mZap7Q9 08/20/23(Sun)08:03:30 No.438502413 ► File: 7deda9d8ea687c3caab5c313e().jpg (61 KB, 589x487) WE MADE PEACE EE I BOUGHT ISRAEL AND DONATED ALL OF IT TO PALESTINE 23M views 1 day ago
Anonymous (ID: 7mZap7Q9 08/20/23(Sun)08:03:30 No.438502413 ► File: 7deda9d8ea687c3caab5c313e().jpg (61 KB, 589x487) WE MADE PEACE EE I BOUGHT ISRAEL AND DONATED ALL OF IT TO PALESTINE 23M views 1 day ago

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat) 20:11:42 No.904631024 Mark-Zuckerberg-and-Priscilla-Chan-tout-010322-1- 5886dc684347491687ce5912e38ab9c7.jpg 139 KB JPG I don't understand this. Why does a rich man have an ugly wife? What is it that turns him on?
: Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat) 20:11:42 No.904631024 Mark-Zuckerberg-and-Priscilla-Chan-tout-010322-1- 5886dc684347491687ce5912e38ab9c7.jpg 139 KB JPG I don't understand this. Why does a rich man have an ugly wife? What is it that turns him on?

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It do be like that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 361 KB PNG 1 Reply 08/19/23(Sat) 19:50:19 No.74442506 a tall blonde woman just looked at me View Thread 08/19/23(Sat)19:51:50 No.74442521 : Anonymous >>74442506 (OP) # >sir, what are you doing behind the bushes? i'm gonna call the police
: Anonymous 361 KB PNG 1 Reply 08/19/23(Sat) 19:50:19 No.74442506 a tall blonde woman just looked at me View Thread 08/19/23(Sat)19:51:50 No.74442521 : Anonymous >>74442506 (OP) # >sir, what are you doing behind the bushes? i'm gonna call the police

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Anon reads Scott Pilgrim | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Kim from Scott pilgrim the 03/28/23(Tue)23:13:29 No.72741744 >learned how to j------- in grade 6 >Started jerking off daily, too various internet p---------- medias >Borrowed scott pilgrim from the library one day for a book project >Had no clue what is it about >Started reading the book >Saw Kim Pine >Damn she is so hot, that weird Canadian f----- really made her the thickest baddie in comic book history >My inchworm got a stiffy just from the first glance >In a school day, reading vol2 >In the first few pages kim was doing the deed with Scott the first time 113 KB JPG >My little buddy immediately got rock hard from it >Rushed to the school toliet with the book, went to a stall and pulled down my pants in light speed >Whipped out my little twig and started jerking off at the book while imagining I was Scott who's gently deflowering her >Got stimulated so hard i started moaning >'Kim.....i am comiing......KIM AHHHHH!" >On the edge of c------ >Suddenly, the stall door opened and in front of me stood the f------ from the other class that just finished P.E >I was so horny that i forgot to lock the door >Everyone was in utter f------ shock >Except my edging manhood, which precisely aimed at the book and sprayed all its love seed on it >Feeling of dread quifkly overcame me >Went to the principal's office for that and my parents never let me touch any comic book since then >Had to pay the library 30 bucks for the book repair >Got bullied and called 'Scott Pilgrim' for the rest of my school life Tfw a comic book redhead ruined my life 9 Replies View Thread
Anonymous Kim from Scott pilgrim the 03/28/23(Tue)23:13:29 No.72741744 >learned how to j------- in grade 6 >Started jerking off daily, too various internet p---------- medias >Borrowed scott pilgrim from the library one day for a book project >Had no clue what is it about >Started reading the book >Saw Kim Pine >Damn she is so hot, that weird Canadian f----- really made her the thickest baddie in comic book history >My inchworm got a stiffy just from the first glance >In a school day, reading vol2 >In the first few pages kim was doing the deed with Scott the first time 113 KB JPG >My little buddy immediately got rock hard from it >Rushed to the school toliet with the book, went to a stall and pulled down my pants in light speed >Whipped out my little twig and started jerking off at the book while imagining I was Scott who's gently deflowering her >Got stimulated so hard i started moaning >'Kim.....i am comiing......KIM AHHHHH!" >On the edge of c------ >Suddenly, the stall door opened and in front of me stood the f------ from the other class that just finished P.E >I was so horny that i forgot to lock the door >Everyone was in utter f------ shock >Except my edging manhood, which precisely aimed at the book and sprayed all its love seed on it >Feeling of dread quifkly overcame me >Went to the principal's office for that and my parents never let me touch any comic book since then >Had to pay the library 30 bucks for the book repair >Got bullied and called 'Scott Pilgrim' for the rest of my school life Tfw a comic book redhead ruined my life 9 Replies View Thread

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Anon blacks out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zdzsMpy4 ) + Redpilled my neighbors 14 KB JPG 10/11/16(Tue)09:22:59 No.92459148 >take a few shots of 60% alcohol >take 2 mg xanax >blackout >wake up the following morning wth a massive hangover >go outside >somebody has dug a two feet deep pit in the front yard of our apartment complex >find out that was me >apparently it was a bomb shelter for the upcoming nuclear war >find out from neighbors I was muttering about the jews, return of nazis and the blatant corruption in american politics to passerbys while shoveling the dirt angrily >police came, laughed and carried me inside >too embarrased to leave my house neveragain.jpg 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
Anonymous (ID: zdzsMpy4 ) + Redpilled my neighbors 14 KB JPG 10/11/16(Tue)09:22:59 No.92459148 >take a few shots of 60% alcohol >take 2 mg xanax >blackout >wake up the following morning wth a massive hangover >go outside >somebody has dug a two feet deep pit in the front yard of our apartment complex >find out that was me >apparently it was a bomb shelter for the upcoming nuclear war >find out from neighbors I was muttering about the jews, return of nazis and the blatant corruption in american politics to passerbys while shoveling the dirt angrily >police came, laughed and carried me inside >too embarrased to leave my house neveragain.jpg 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon should have settled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)12:58:13 No.74442595 >be me >meet woman on Bumble >5, 6 with good makeup and right lighting, couldnt hold a conversation, but thought I was funny and f----- on first date >think about breaking up after third date, but end up having sex >mentions she would be open to trying a---, decide to hold off >remember that ive done better in the past, decide to break up >5 was kinda bummed, but got over it >one year later I have no gf and jack it every night while alternate timeline me is buttfucking 5 35 KB JPG Dont be like me anons. Take what you can get. Learn to settle and you might be happy enough one day.
Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)12:58:13 No.74442595 >be me >meet woman on Bumble >5, 6 with good makeup and right lighting, couldnt hold a conversation, but thought I was funny and f----- on first date >think about breaking up after third date, but end up having sex >mentions she would be open to trying a---, decide to hold off >remember that ive done better in the past, decide to break up >5 was kinda bummed, but got over it >one year later I have no gf and jack it every night while alternate timeline me is buttfucking 5 35 KB JPG Dont be like me anons. Take what you can get. Learn to settle and you might be happy enough one day.

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Anon is scared. | /r/Greentext

10h (8/18 7:55) 4595431 8 Re . 3 Img JPG 55KB (680 x 507) 1647618812917.jpg 5 Replies . >Be me >Need to take my nightly pills >Turn on light and go to grab water from window seal >Massive f------ American Roach crawling across my pillow >I always knew the day would come but now that it is holy f--- >Scream like a girl and go get can of Raid >Light the f----- up >Its runs under my bed tmatress and then crawls back up and I spray it a second time >F----- is for sure gonna die >Parents wont help me lift by bed up to kill it >I'm just sitting in my chair having a panic attack I despise invasive roaches so f------ much bros, And crickets but I hate American roaches more with there massive wings and hairy legs. I'm gonna f------ kill myself.
10h (8/18 7:55) 4595431 8 Re . 3 Img JPG 55KB (680 x 507) 1647618812917.jpg 5 Replies . >Be me >Need to take my nightly pills >Turn on light and go to grab water from window seal >Massive f------ American Roach crawling across my pillow >I always knew the day would come but now that it is holy f--- >Scream like a girl and go get can of Raid >Light the f----- up >Its runs under my bed tmatress and then crawls back up and I spray it a second time >F----- is for sure gonna die >Parents wont help me lift by bed up to kill it >I'm just sitting in my chair having a panic attack I despise invasive roaches so f------ much bros, And crickets but I hate American roaches more with there massive wings and hairy legs. I'm gonna f------ kill myself.

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Well anon... | /r/Greentext

Board /fit/ - Fitness : Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)23:51:35 No.71871848 1631990817936.jpg 34 KB JPG ▼ Settings Mobile Home >one chance at life >parents named me Queaseboat
Board /fit/ - Fitness : Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)23:51:35 No.71871848 1631990817936.jpg 34 KB JPG ▼ Settings Mobile Home >one chance at life >parents named me Queaseboat

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Anon can't control it | /r/Greentext

No. 904586350 08/19/23(Sat)00:26:56 HMMMMMM.jpg 463 KB 1080x1518 >me >stupid bitch in a jetta merges into me on my motorcycle >hospital.fuckingow >ankle is f-----, foot sideways >need surgery and some time inpatient >nurse is f------ amazing >sweet, beautiful, caring >big ole bazongas on 5 ft frame >HUGE >I am high on painkillers >erection activated >repeatedly in a few hours >She definitely sees >Last time, make eye contact >f--- >New nurse is a man >He is rough with my IV and now I have bruises I cant control my F------ C--- you meanie. 1 replies, 0 images
No. 904586350 08/19/23(Sat)00:26:56 HMMMMMM.jpg 463 KB 1080x1518 >me >stupid bitch in a jetta merges into me on my motorcycle >hospital.fuckingow >ankle is f-----, foot sideways >need surgery and some time inpatient >nurse is f------ amazing >sweet, beautiful, caring >big ole bazongas on 5 ft frame >HUGE >I am high on painkillers >erection activated >repeatedly in a few hours >She definitely sees >Last time, make eye contact >f--- >New nurse is a man >He is rough with my IV and now I have bruises I cant control my F------ C--- you meanie. 1 replies, 0 images

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